14. Macs
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Macs
Teala is sitting on the porch swing next to my mother.
I’m watching them through the kitchen window while my father fixes lunch.
My hands are twitching by my sides, and my heart is thumping jaggedly—a reminder I’m not myself.
I have no clue how the fuck to control my emotions, or my own body, or my thoughts.
Wild doesn’t even describe how I’m feeling.
She sucked my dick on the drive here. I had to pull over a few seconds after she started because my eyes started rolling back in my damn head.
See? No control over my body. She’s good, but it’s more than that.
She swallowed my hot load without spilling a drop, leaned back into her seat, and smiled at me.
She reminded me of a tiger hunting prey.
Eventually I regained enough composure to pull back into traffic and finish the drive.
It helped for a little while, but I’m having withdrawals again.
Not just for her mouth. I want to be close enough to touch her body, smell the skin on her neck that’s been swept by fragrant hair .
It didn’t happen gradually. Falling for her happened like a landslide.
A light was switch thrown, and in its wake lies a mess of emotions I have no fucking clue what to do with.
My dad is prattling on about the football game and how he lost a bet with Murray from down the street.
He’s cursing under his breath, and I’m offering a few words here and there.
He has no idea how wrapped up I am in my staring.
It’s not often I get to glimpse her when she is unaware.
My mother can’t stop looking at her either.
Teala’s beauty is truly something to behold.
You can’t really appreciate it fully unless you do stare rudely for a while.
That’s how you notice the freckle on her cheek, or the flecks of color in her eyes, or the way her slender neck curves so perfectly before her chin begins.
It’s all too much to take in at the same time.
So, I stare now—I practice being enamored by her even though I hate the essence of it to the core.
My father clears his throat from right behind me. “Sure is a looker, Son,” he says. “I said that a few times, but it seems you were too busy thinking the same thing to hear your old pops.”
My rudeness knows no bounds today, obviously. “Yeah, she is, isn’t she?” I turn to face him, as politeness dictates. “Mom looks well,” I say, trying to change the subject.
He claps me on the shoulder and offers the trademark grin he passed down to me. “She’s well and fine now that you’re home. Seems she’s takin’ a liking to your new bird, huh?”
He turns it around again. “Seems so,” I reply. “Need any help?” I nod over to the counter where he’s spreading cold cuts and cheeses for sandwiches.
He shakes his head. “Nah, I’d rather have a chat with my boy. It’s been too long, Son. You’re taking off again now, aren’t ya?”
I sigh, relieved he’s asked about work. Work is safe.
Work is a known entity I can talk about for as long as he wants.
My job is foreign to him. He’s worked a white-collar job his whole life.
The military isn’t some handed-down tradition in my home.
It’s my thing and my thing only. With my penchant for hair products and designer jeans, one of the only things he’s interested in is my career.
I tell him what I can, but I don’t tell him where I’m deploying.
He asks me about the terrorist attacks that are cropping up all over the world and if I know who is fully responsible.
He’s happy with the answers I give him even if they’re veiled truths.
I glance out the window every once in a while and catch sight of Teala. She’s talking with her hands and smiling a lot, and a pang of envy strikes me square in the chest. It’s too new to share her with anyone else.
My father asks about my training trip coming up. The one where we shoot each other.
“It’s paintballs this time, Dad. Don’t worry,” I say.
His eyes still turn down in the corner, and I’m reminded that he’ll always worry about me whether I tell him to or not. He nods and turns his gaze to the porch swing.
I clear my throat. “Lunch?” I ask.
Distraction. That’s what I need. Before, when I didn’t know any better, I thought I needed space away from Teala.
I didn’t want to see texts from her or hear her voice on the phone and only see her for bits and pieces of time.
Now, I realize the only way I can fix myself is if I give myself over to this completely and hope I can fuck her out of my system.
He goes out to the porch and tells my mother it’s time for lunch. Both of the women look up at him and smile their acknowledgments. He sits back down in front of me. “You still thinking of moving to Virginia Beach?” he asks.
As a SEAL, I only have a few options for duty stations.
It’s San Diego, Virginia Beach, or Hawaii.
The pipe dream has always been to end up in Virginia Beach.
That’s where the elite SEALs work. Better known as SEAL Team Six.
The selection process is severe and long, and only the best of the best are chosen for a spot.
My heart thunders out a staccato as I watch Teala stand from the swing and make her way to the house. “No, no. Not now anyway,” I admit. It’s a lie, but I don’t want that conversation anywhere near her ears yet.
“Oh, no?” he asks, busying himself with the condiments and drinks. “What changed?”
Teala and my mother walk into the kitchen. They walk so close their arms brush together, and their smiles are effortless.
“The house, you know? I want to give that some time. Get everything together and fixed. Get a couple more deployments under my belt.” Initially I set out for it to be a quick flip of a job, but I’ve grown attached to it over the months. “Maybe down the road,” I tell him, honestly.
Everyone is listening to our conversation at this point, and all I can do is hope Teala doesn’t ask questions.
I smile in her direction. “You two seemed to be having quite the conversation,” I tell her.
The smile worked. Her attraction to it is unflinching. I almost feel guilty for using it against her, but I can’t. I’m not ready to have this conversation with her. She wouldn’t want to hear it anyway.
“What were you talking about?” I edge.
“You,” they both say at the same time.
“I was afraid of that. Mom, I told you this was a new…arrangement. She doesn’t want to hear that kind of stuff.” I have no idea what they were talking about, but I can only imagine.
My mom drawls out a warning for me to hush then says, “It’s only fair this beautiful woman knows what she’s getting herself into.
Someone needs to warn her off.” My mother and father laugh, but Teala’s face drops, and she looks like she’s going to be violently sick.
My mom’s joke hit a little too close to home.
Dating wasn’t something I was ever interested in when I lived in my parents’ house.
Oh, I fucked all right. Under the bleachers, in the locker room at the high school, the playground equipment at the local park in the dark of night, but they never saw girls in my world.
I went stag to all of the mandatory dances like prom and homecoming and took advantage of opportunities to get off in between.
I was a dog. I am a dog. My parents don’t know that.
What could my mother possibly caution her against? My schedule?
I force a laugh. “Everyone can see the caution tape around my body, Mom. Teala doesn’t need any warnings.”
Teala nods and stands next to me. I notice she doesn’t brush against me.
She keeps her distance. We eat lunch and drink fruit punch and try not to eye fuck each other.
She excuses herself to use the restroom, and I tell her I’ll show her where it is even though she’s already been once right when we arrived.
I follow her into the upstairs bathroom and close the door behind us.
“Your parents know we’re in here together,” she says dryly.
I waggle my brows. “As much as I’d love to fuck you in the bathroom where I was potty trained, I merely wanted to ask if anything was wrong.
What did my mom tell you?” I feel a little panicked.
I’m worried about something small and insignificant.
That’s not my way. It’s never been my way.
Give me a large problem and let me give you ten ways to solve it effectively.
Teala smiles. “She was joking about warning me, Macs. She regaled me with funny tales from your childhood and asked a whole bunch of questions about my studio. I think she wants to take a class.” She looks down at her nails and starts smoothing her nail beds with her thumb.
“What she said about the warning merely brought me back into reality.” She looks at the wall. A photo of a beach stares back at her.
I sigh. I can deal with this. “The reality is I’m away much of the time. Even when I’m home, I’m not fully here, and I’ve never had to worry what that means for someone else. She was joking, but it should be a warning,” I deadpan .
Her eyes meet mine, and for the first time I see a vulnerability there. Something that isn’t inherent to her, a guard down and an open heart begging for something I can’t give. “It’s worth trying?” she asks.
I think about our chemistry and remember what it feels like to have her skin burning against mine. “Yes.” Closing the distance with one step, I take her in my arms. I don’t want to remember what she feels like. I want it right now. “I have no idea what that means.”
“I don’t either,” she admits, pressing her face into my chest. “I should ask my friends.” Teala laughs, and her shaking body gives me a hard-on. She stiffens when she feels it.