Chapter 39 Anna
Anna
My phone beeps in my pocket as I leg it through Kensington Gardens, already late to meet up with April and Gemma. I can’t wait to catch them up on everything that happened last weekend.
This isn’t just physical for me anymore.
Liquid heat spreads through my chest as I replay Liam’s words over and over.
When I think about that night—the soul-nourishing conversation, the tenderness in his touch, the way he let me in—my heart does a little skip.
What we had before last weekend was amazing, but now?
It feels like someone turned up the volume on everything.
I catch myself smiling at random moments.
I don’t freak out whenever I see Roger from a distance because I know I have access to someone who makes me feel safe.
I even broke my own code and bloody googled Liam. Tabbing across to the images was quite pleasant, actually—ogling topless Liam in 4K is a religious experience. I can zoom in on his abs. And thighs. And biceps. And that bloody dimple.
Fishing my phone from my pocket, I swipe it open, spotting a notification from Liam.
Liam: When can I see you again?
I bite my lip to suppress a smile, tapping my fingers across the screen.
Me: Are you free Friday night?
His reply is instant.
Liam: It’s a date.
Tucking it away, I break into a jog when I spot April and Gemma at a sunny table on the terrace outside the Daily Grind.
Gemma’s nose scrunches when she sees me. “Why are you so sweaty?”
“Tube strike,” I wheeze, bracing my hands on my knees as I catch my breath. “Had to walk here. Apparently I’m still unfit as hell.” I reach over and take a swig of Gemma’s water.
“Ew! Don’t put your sweaty lips on my water,” she scolds. “That’s yours now.”
April laughs, adjusting the pale green blanket draped over her shoulder, Elliott’s tiny hand peeking out as he feeds. “You good?”
“Kinda? I have a confession to make,” I say, straightening up.
“My dear, please, take a seat,” Gemma says dramatically, gesturing to a chair opposite her.
I slide into it, folding my hands in my lap.
“Speak freely, child,” Gemma continues, leaning forward. “Your sins are safe within these four walls.”
April frowns, glancing around the busy street. “What four walls?”
“We’re outside,” I say.
Gemma gasps. “It’s Sunday, I was in character!”
“Careful,” I warn. “You might spontaneously combust.”
April shifts Elliott slightly and rolls her eyes. “Can we please just order coffee and hear Anna’s confession?”
“Fine.” Gemma waves a hand at me. “You may proceed.”
I roll my lips, hesitating momentarily before finally spitting out, “I’m falling for Liam.”
April beams. “Finally, she admits it!”
Gemma reaches over and high-fives April’s free hand. “Called it!” She turns to point at April triumphantly. “You owe me twenty quid.” Then she swivels back to me, shimmying her shoulders with excitement. “Spill. Everything. Now.”
I stare at them, mouth agape. “Hold on, you guys bet on me falling for Liam?”
“Oh, don’t look so scandalized,” Gemma says with a wave. “Max did too.”
My eyes narrow. “The traitor.”
April tries to hide her snigger behind her coffee cup. “So when did you realize you love him?”
“Hold your flaps—I didn’t say ‘I love him’, I said I’m falling for him. There’s a difference. And it hit me last weekend after our… date.”
“Date as in date-date?” Gemma says, eyebrows dancing suggestively.
“Yes, date-date. What other kind of date is there?” I frown.
“A sticky date,” Gemma winks. “And yes, that’s an innuendo.”
April’s nose scrunches. “Gross, Gem.”
Gemma fixes her attention on me. “Tell us everything.”
So I do. I tell them about the rooftop, the fairy lights scattered like stars, the candles—it was like something out of a romance novel. When I finish, they both stare at me in total silence.
“Oh, he’s good,” April says, her smile stretching from ear to ear.
My shoulders drop, relief at finally letting myself feel the happiness I’ve been fighting. “He’s really good.”
“So what happens now?” April asks, patting Elliott’s back through the blanket.
“What do you mean ‘what happens now’? It isn’t purely physical anymore, obviously,” Gemma says, quoting what Liam told me last weekend. Her eyes twinkle with delight. “Liam has a massive stiffy for you, and you’re finally allowing yourself to be happy again.”
“Yeah, but I don’t really know what to do,” I say. “Our situation is unconventional, not to mention completely inappropriate. I feel stuck.”
“Can’t you both just hold out until the school year is over?” Gemma asks, tapping her chin in thought. “You won’t be Finn’s teacher after that. Problem solved.”
Problem not solved.
This isn’t only about my career now, even though that is a massive concern.
Being with Liam also means stepping into his world.
And I’m not sure I’m ready for that. What if I step in and end up losing both him and Finn?
I don’t even want to think about what that could do to my heart.
The thought of never seeing either of them again makes my chest ache like I’ve torn stitches.
Regular relationships have the luxury of privacy.
Being with Liam would mean we’re at risk of losing that.
I hear the way the teachers and parents at school gossip about him.
They thirst over him. Could I really handle that kind of attention?
I’m not a jealous woman—I never have been—but I’m not immune to scrutiny, good or bad.
Then again, I don’t want to deprive myself of how good it feels when I’m with him.
If anyone’s going to understand what that feels like, it’s April. I turn to her. “How did you handle being with James when Atlas Veil took off?”
April’s been in the tabloids. Granted, she and James manage to keep a relatively low profile, especially since Elliott was born, but if anyone is going to know what it feels like, it’s her.
“It was weird at the beginning. Having strangers take photos of you in the grocery store or commenting on your outfit online was a bit jarring. But you do get used to it. It’s part of the deal when you’re with someone in the public eye.
” She pauses, looking thoughtful. “You can still live a very private life, though. It’s about setting boundaries early and sticking to them.
Celebrities are just like the rest of us. Plus, the fans can be really amazing.”
I mull over her words.
“You’re overthinking this, aren’t you?” Gemma says, reading my expression.
“Maybe,” I admit. “I’m just worried I might not be cut out for it.
I can barely stand listening to the women at work talk about how hot he is.
Some of the things they say are downright vile.
” I blow out a breath. “Sure, I can tune out all the gossip now, but being a friend and being someone’s actual somebody are completely different things. ”
“You figure it out as you go,” April says. “No one’s expecting you to have all the answers right now. And from what you’ve told us about Liam, he seems like the type who’d protect what’s important to him.”
It’s true. He values his privacy, especially where Finn’s involved. “Yeah, he is,” I say.
April unlatches Elliott, tucking herself away before lifting him to her shoulder to burp him. “See? Just tell him how you feel. Talk about it. There’s nothing more frustrating than miscommunication. Be completely honest.”
“Exactly,” Gemma confirms, turning to April. “You took the words right out of my mouth.”
“No, I did not,” April says.
“Fine, you didn’t,” Gemma looks at me, hand over heart. “But, if you want my humble advice—”
“I really don’t,” I declare.
“If you’re going to bare your soul and have ‘the chat’, then you should warm him up first,” she says.
I huff an exasperated sigh. “And how exactly do you suggest I warm him up?”
She smirks knowingly. “I’ve got just the thing, young Padawan. When are you seeing him again?”
“This weekend. Friday night,” I reply.
She shoots me a mischievous smile. “Come over after work on Friday. We have much to do.”
I tip my head back, close my eyes, and mutter a quiet “Lord—give me strength.”
Gemma leads me through her flat toward the bedroom. I stop dead in the doorway, immediately covering my eyes.
“What are you doing?” she asks, bemused.
“Is it safe? Are there dildos everywhere?”
“No, you muppet. It’s fine in here.” She waves a hand dismissively.
I bravely open both eyes, shoulders dropping with relief when I find the room pristine. “What exactly are we doing in here?”
“We,” Gemma announces, sashaying toward a giant built-in wardrobe, “are about to spice up your love life.”
I cross my arms. “My love life is doing just fine since meeting Liam, thank you very much.”
“Au contraire, my sweet, innocent Anna,” Gemma says, throwing open the wardrobe doors and turning with a wicked glint. “Tell me, have you ever considered the wonderful world of costumes? Giving someone the real-life fantasy?”
“Jesus Christ,” I breathe, rubbing my temples. “No. Absolutely not. We are not doing this.”
“Why not? You’re a teacher,” she says, as if that explains everything. “It’s basically your duty to explore educational scenarios.”
“What kind of bloody school did you go to?”
“Anna, I’m being very serious here. It’ll be perfect to break the ice before having ‘the chat’.
” She emphasizes the words with finger quotes and waves a hand at me.
“You’re gorgeous, you’re confident when you want to be, and the two of you obviously have amazing chemistry.
Why not lean into your playful side? Do something you didn’t with Mason—something totally new—and have some fun together! ”
Damn it. Her mention of doing something I never did with Mason hits a nerve… in a good way.
I’ve always loved sex. I especially love having sex with Liam. Maybe Gemma has a point. I’m doing things for myself now, and this might be a chance to explore a side of me I never felt comfortable showing.
She steps forward and grips my shoulders, looking me dead in the eye. “Remember what we practiced? Repeat after me—channel your inner slag.” I glare at her and she stomps her foot. Actually stomps her bloody foot. “Anna! Come on!”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I say, throwing my hands up in defeat. “Fine. I’ll do it.”
She spins me around, landing a heavy smack on my arse.
“Ouch!” I yelp.
“Attagirl! Now, let’s find you something hot.” She saunters to the wardrobe and starts sifting through hangers. “Right, what are we thinking? I’ve got nurse, pilot, navy officer, doctor, angel, devil . . .” She pauses at a particularly elaborate hanger.
“Is that a Victorian dress?” I ask, incredulous.
“Bridgerton,” she says, flinging the hanger aside and continuing her search. The outfits get skimpier as she moves down the rail. She pulls out a black lace bodysuit and I frown.
“Hold up.” I lift a hand to stop her. “Didn’t you wear that to April’s engagement party?”
She grins. “Very observant of you.”
I spot something tiny and green tucked between costumes, and step forward to investigate.
It’s two leaves.
I pluck them from the wardrobe. “Why do you have two fig leaves?”
“Oh, that’s Adam and Eve.” Gemma smiles. “Max’s favorite.”
I dry-heave and immediately drop the leaves as if they’ve burned me. “That’s revolting. I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Such a drama queen,” Gemma says, rolling her eyes.
I move to a mirrored chest of drawers inside the wardrobe and start poking through a pile of accessories. It’s as impressive as it is disturbing. I pull out a black mask.
“What’s this supposed to be?” I ask.
“Batgirl,” she says matter-of-factly.
I scan the wardrobe. “Where’s the rest of it? The bodysuit?”
She points at the mask in my hand with complete seriousness. “That is the costume.”
I immediately toss it back. “Jesus Christ, Gemma.”
“Oh!” she exclaims, pulling out a tiny white button-down shirt and mini tartan skirt. “What about sexy teacher?”
I blink. “You could have started with that!”
She holds the hanger up against my body, nodding to herself. “Ah, yes. This is the one. It’s perfect.”