Chapter 42 Anna
Anna
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Max asks as we stroll through Hyde Park the next morning.
“Yes.”
He gives me a look.
“Sort of,” I confess.
The look intensifies.
I huff, throwing my hands up. “I don’t bloody know, all right?”
“Weasel, this isn’t something you can half-arse. You need to be certain he’s as invested as you are, and he understands what’s at stake here.” His voice grows more serious. “You’re his son’s teacher, for Christ’s sake. I can’t just stand by and watch without saying something.”
I jab my elbow into his side.
“Ow! What the hell was that for?”
“Do you honestly think I haven’t considered every single one of those things? Of course I know how complicated this is! I think about it constantly.”
He rubs his side. “Thinking about it and being prepared for the consequences are two different things. I just don’t want you getting hurt again. I’m terrified about what happens to your job, your reputation, everything you’ve worked so hard for, if this goes sideways.”
“Thanks for your vote of confidence,” I say, dripping sarcasm.
His eyes soften. “Anna, it’s my job to worry. And after Mason . . .”
I abruptly stop walking and a woman has to swerve around me with her toddler. When he doesn’t elaborate, I cross my arms. “Go on. What were you going to say?”
He sighs, running a hand through his hair.
“After Mason you became… God, Anna, you became a ghost of yourself. You stopped doing everything you loved, stopped seeing friends, stopped living. The only thing that kept you functioning was your job. If you hadn’t had that routine, that purpose .
. .” He shakes his head. “I genuinely don’t think you would have got out of bed some days. ”
“You don’t think I know that?” I snap.
His eyes bore into mine. “I’m not saying this won’t work out with Liam. I’m really not. But you need to be prepared for the possibility that, if it doesn’t, you might ruin your career. And here’s the brutal truth—”
“Great, can’t wait to hear it.”
“He will get to walk away unscathed. Famous footballer has fling with his son’s teacher? That’s a normal bloody Tuesday in the world of celebrities. But you? You’ll be labeled as unprofessional, untrustworthy. You might damage your career, and you’ll be the one who has to rebuild everything.”
My eyes betray me, starting to water.
“He’s a footballer, Anna. I’ve seen how these guys operate. I know some of them. The lifestyle, the attention, the opportunities they have with women? So many of them treat relationships—treat women—like they’re disposable.”
“Liam isn’t like that,” I say, my lower lip trembling.
“I’m not trying to be horrible, Weasel. I just… I’ve watched you put yourself back together once already. I don’t know if I can see you fall apart again.”
“Did you ever stop to think that Liam makes me happy? That this might be good for me?”
“Of course I did. I can see it when you talk about him—”
“Really? Because it doesn’t sound like you think I’m capable of making my own decisions. I’m thirty-five years old, Max, not eighteen.”
“The man has a reputation in the press, Anna. The tabloids love him—”
“You don’t know him!” The words explode out of me. Max freezes, clenching his jaw. “You’ve never even met him, but you’re perfectly happy to judge him, based on what? The media? Since when do you believe anything you read in print? Come on, Max. You’re smarter than that.”
His mouth opens to respond, but I’m not finished.
“You’re marrying my best friend. Do you realize how hypocritical you’re being? You slept with a co-worker. You and Gemma tried the whole friends-who-fuck thing—”
“Please don’t say the words ‘friends-who-fuck’ around me.”
“—and it worked out just fine for you two. You both believed in your love and fought for it. Why is it so hard to believe that it would work out for me?”
“Love?” he says, lurching back. “You love him?”
“Maybe. I don’t know.”
He runs a hand down his face, looking exhausted. “Anyone would be incredibly lucky to have you in their life. That’s why I care so much about this.”
“Yeah? Well, you’re going about it in a real dickish way,” I say.
“Hey,” he warns, stepping closer. “I’m not trying to be a dick.
I’m trying to be honest because I love you.
These high-profile athletes… they have options, Anna.
Lots of them. Most of them run through women like sewing machines.
I don’t want you to get swept up in something only to be discarded when the novelty wears off. ”
“For fuck’s sake, Max!” I seethe. “He was with his ex for eight bloody years. Eight! He had a child with her! He isn’t some man who uses women like tissues.
Why won’t you listen to me? It’s like you’ve already decided that I’m not good enough for him, that there’s no way someone like him could ever actually be satisfied with someone like me. ”
“Hey, that’s not what I’m—”
“You know what? I don’t need this.” I spin on my heel and storm off in the opposite direction, my vision blurring with tears.
A minute goes by before I hear rapid footsteps behind me, growing louder. “Anna, wait up!” Max calls, slightly out of breath. I don’t stop until he catches my wrist in a gentle hold. “Please, just wait.”
I turn around and whatever he sees in my face makes him pause. “I didn’t mean it like that. Of course you’re good enough—you’re too good for most people, including me half the time.”
I feel tears gathering along my lash line. I blink hard, trying to keep them at bay, but one betrays me anyway, sliding down my cheek.
Max’s face crumples. “Weasel, come here,” he says, opening his arms. I step into his embrace, wrapping my arms around him.
“He makes me happy, Max,” I murmur against his chest.
“I want you to be happy. That’s all I want for you,” he says, rocking me from side to side.
“Then give him a shot,” I croak.
Max draws away, his grip strong on my shoulders as he dips his head to look me in the eyes. “All right. I’ll give him a shot.”
I jerk my head toward an empty bench beside the pathway and we settle onto it.
“We’re still working this whole thing out.
It’s new. But you have to trust that I can make smart decisions about my own life.
I know your fears come from a place of love, but Max—I care about Liam, and I care about Finn. And I know they care about me too.”
He crooks a lopsided smile. “Of course they care about you.”
I straighten my shoulders. “Just because I’m falling for someone doesn’t mean I’ve lost sight of who I am or what I want.
That hasn’t changed, and it won’t.” I shrug lightly.
“I still want to be a mother some day, and I’m done putting my life on pause for anyone.
Whatever this turns out to be, my future stays my own. ”
His eyes crinkle at the corners as he looks at me with the expression I remember from childhood. The same look he gave me when I finally managed to ride my bike without training wheels, and when I walked across the stage at graduation.
“What?” I ask, noticing his own eyes have gone a bit glassy.
“Nothing. I’m just really proud of you.”