Chapter 45
So far, Danny’s body hadn’t rejected the new blood cells. It was early days, mind you, warned Deirdre, the warm, gently rounded Irish nurse who had three of her own at home.
Early days, she repeated as she bustled round the bed, tucking Danny in and checking his temperature. Was Nancy sure she didn’t want another cup of tea? She didn’t mind her calling her Nancy, did she? Only she, Deirdre, always felt that her mums, as she called them, were more like friends than patients by the time they left.
‘Sisters, even,’ she said as she handed Nancy the cup of tea she had at first turned down but which she found strangely comforting, even though she didn’t usually take sugar. ‘That’s why I’m not going to lie to you, Nancy.’ She glanced down at Danny, who was still asleep. ‘I know the poor mite seems to have more life in him – he had a great time with that games console your husband brought in, didn’t he? – but you just can’t tell at this stage. All we can do is say our prayers and be positive.’
‘I’m trying to pray,’ Nancy whispered, although she hadn’t done so since her father had left. ‘But does it count when I’ve lapsed for so long? Isn’t it cheating?
‘Not in my book, love,’ retorted Deirdre, who wore, Nancy had noticed, a gold cross around her neck. ‘Oooh look. Someone’s waking up. Morning, Danny boy. How are you doing then?’
Nancy bent down to kiss her son good morning, thinking how children and adults differed in the way they woke up. How, instead of stretching and yawning and checking the alarm clock to make sure that really was the time, children just opened their eyes and were wide awake, ready to start the day. Maybe that was enough of a prayer: just say a silent thank you (to whoever was out there) for the day itself, because you never knew how it was going to end.
‘Is Billy here yet, Mum?’
It might be early days, but his voice definitely sounded brighter and his speech clearer.
‘Not yet, poppet.’ She lowered her voice while making an aside to the nurse. ‘I’d better warn you. Billy is a bit of a handful.’
Danny’s indignant tones shrilled out. ‘No he’s not. He’s a one. That’s what Mrs Merryfield says.’ Deirdre wiped the tears of mirth from her face.
‘They come out with some good ones, don’t they? Mind you, if you’re talking about the big mite I saw the other day, your teacher might be right. Was he the kid who was testing that plastic hammer of his on the walls?’
Nancy groaned at the thought, although she was looking forward to seeing Brigid. ‘I’ve got a surprise for you,’ she said, stroking Danny’s warm hand. ‘Billy’s mum might be bringing Lily too, if her mum agrees.’
‘Lily?’ Danny’s eyes lit up. ‘Cool.’
Deirdre clucked her approval. ‘Is she your girlfriend, Danny boy? Oooh, look who’s gone all red!’
Danny had slid underneath the covers so his voice came out all muffled. ‘She’s my princess and when I’m big, I’m going to marry her.’
Nancy couldn’t bear to look at Deirdre. When he was big. If he ever got big. A firm hand stretched across and squeezed hers. ‘Remember.’ The quiet Irish lilt was remarkably soothing. ‘Be positive. It’s the only way.’
Brigid had texted to say they’d be in after lunch so Billy could go to Puddleducks first. ‘ Owise I will go mad ,’ she had said. A few weeks ago, Nancy would have understood that. Now she didn’t care if Danny hit everything in sight with a plastic hammer, providing he lived.
The weird thing was that Sam probably felt the same. He had changed so much! He was devoted to their son in a way she’d never seen before. ‘No,’ he’d insisted the other evening at the hospital. ‘You go back to Joe’s apartment to get a few hours’ sleep. I’ll spend the night next to Danny.’
When she’d looked back, before leaving the ward, her chest had tightened with love and other kinds of emotions at the sight of him stroking their boy’s forehead tenderly and speaking softly to him.
Of course she hadn’t been able to sleep much in a strange place away from Danny, even though Joe’s place was very comfortable in a bachelor-like way with its deep squashy black sofa which reclined at the touch of a switch, shelves of CDs in strict alphabetical order, which was the way she had her books at home, and the massive bed which took up most of the bedroom, with its large geometric print in red and black acrylic over the head.
No. She hadn’t been able to sleep because she needed to be near her boy. To feel the warmth of his hand and the determined heartbeat through his new blue cotton pyjamas that her mother had brought from the States. To be there if he woke and called out ‘Mummy’.
But she also knew that Danny deserved some daddy time with Sam. So when she came back in the morning and found Sam fast asleep on the edge of the bed with Danny in his arms and a Bluey book lodged between the two of them, she knew she had done the right thing.
She had persuaded Sam not only to go back to Joe’s apartment for a sleep last night, but also to go into work for the day. He could see them in the evening, she had assured him, knowing how concerned Sam was about the office. Compassionate leave could only go on for so long, and as the doctors said, this was not a battle that could be fought in a few days. Meanwhile, could Sam just pop into a florist on his way back from the office and send Danny’s playgroup leader a big bunch of flowers? Stargazers, maybe. A small token to show how much they appreciated what Gemma had done for them. ‘She’s been so lovely,’ she’d told Sam tearfully. ‘I do hope you get to know her, if Danny gets better.’
‘When,’ Sam had corrected her. ‘We’ve got to be positive.’ But his voice wasn’t as certain as his words.
It was later, just after lunch, which, like so many hospital meals, seemed to come at least three hours earlier than meals in the real, outside world, that she heard the shouting.
‘Danny! Danny!’
No mistaking Billy’s voice or that of Brigid, running after him.
‘Danny!’
With one bound, Billy was on Danny’s bed, grabbing the new console that Sam had brought the other day.
‘Not there,’ puffed Brigid. ‘On the chair next to him. And share, will you?’ Her eyes rolled. ‘I’m sorry, Nancy. He beat me to it as usual. Listen, I need to tell you something.’ She glanced around. ‘Is there anyone who can keep an eye on those two?’
The woman in the pink slippers sniffed. ‘I will if you want.’
No thanks, Nancy was about to say, but Brigid was already whisking her out of the ward into the corridor. They stood by the hand sanitiser dispenser bottle on the wall. ‘I’ve got to tell you something that the kids mustn’t hear.’ Her eyes feverish, she grabbed Nancy’s hand. ‘Have you seen the papers?’
‘Danny’s notes?’
‘No, the newspapers. It’s Lily. She’s gone missing. And they think her father has got her now he’s out of rehab.’
Missing? Lily’s father? Dimly Nancy remembered the rumours that had been circulating in what she now called the Before Danny Got Sick days, when life had been normal even though she hadn’t realised it. Lily’s father was a well-known actor who had been married several times. Nancy wasn’t one to read celebrity magazines, but even she had heard of him. He and the singer Dilly Dalung had split up last year and there was an ongoing fierce battle for custody of their daughter. The story had sent shivers down Nancy’s spine at the time, making her wonder how on earth she would manage if she and Sam split up and he fought her for Danny.
Now, as she listened to Brigid’s hurried account of what had happened during the farm trip, her heart went out to Dilly. How awful! She’d never liked the idea of school trips in case something happened to Danny. It was like all her fears come true, except that this time it had happened to another child.
‘How come the staff didn’t realise she was missing for so long?’ she demanded.
Brigid looked nervously at a nurse who was pushing a clanking trolley of medicines into the ward and was giving them curious looks. ‘Shhh. We reckon it was because Miriam was there instead of Gemma Merryfield. I forgot. You don’t know Miriam, do you? She’s really the pre-school leader but she’s off on maternity leave.’ Brigid rolled her eyes again. ‘She’s not familiar with the new kids and I know that shouldn’t be an excuse, but somehow she lost sight of Lily, who was in her group. It was only for a few minutes.’
Only for a few minutes? Nancy felt physically sick. That’s all it took. Everyone knew that. The Keep Your Child Safe column in her American magazine was always saying that.
‘There’s something else.’ Brigid’s voice suggested that this was more than a small something else. ‘Don’t tell anyone, whatever you do, as this bit isn’t in the papers yet. The canal runs up past the farm shop. And they’re dragging it this morning.’