Chapter 50
‘I agree,’ said Mike as they walked along the towpath after a very filling lunch at one of the warm, busy pubs on the high street, which was already adorned with Christmas decorations even though there were a good three weeks to go. ‘It does seem a blow, especially when they had all but promised you the job.’
Joe felt a wrench just under his ribs. It still hurt as much as when he had opened the envelope on Friday morning. He wasn’t used to rejection in his working life, and this had come as a surprise.
‘Unfortunately, the position which we originally discussed is no longer available …’
There was no reason given, but Joe couldn’t help wondering if it was because his name had been in many of the reports about Lily/Natasha vanishing from the farm trip.
‘What are you going to do?’ asked Lynette as she fell into line next to him. Joe’s arm accidentally brushed against hers, and he stiffened in case she had thought it was intentional.
‘Apply for something else, I suppose, although there’s not much being advertised at the moment. I may have to wait until after Christmas and, if necessary, take a few months off until the autumn.’
‘Sounds good.’
Was that a hint of envy in Lynette’s voice? ‘I can’t remember the last time Mike and I had a holiday.’
You don’t need one when you live by the sea, he was about to say, but then, as he looked ahead and saw the boys swooping and diving in some make-believe game near the canal edge, stopped himself. That visit to Danny’s hospital had taught him quite a few things. One of them was that you needed to appreciate what you had. Another was that you couldn’t really understand a parent’s hopes and fears until you were one yourself. A proper one. Not a nearly one.
‘Tell you what,’ he began, but then there was a splash.
Lynette was there before either he or Mike moved, yanking out Fraser, who had tried to push his brother into the water and then fallen in himself.
‘It was your fault!’
‘No, it was yours!’
‘It was both of yours.’ Lynette’s voice had a tone in it that he hadn’t heard before. It was relief mixed with anger. How did parents do it? It was such a responsibility, making sure that a small person stayed alive all day.
‘It’s OK.’ He put a reassuring hand on Lynette’s shoulder before remembering, and taking it off quickly. ‘No one is hurt. How about going back to my place and drying off in the bathroom?’
Joyce loved an emergency. It made her, as she told them all, feel useful, especially now she didn’t have any small children at home to look after. If she wasn’t mistaken, she had some spare clothes left over from when Barry had been that age.
Both boys emerged dry and slightly subdued in warm jerseys and jeans that had once been worn by the perfect Barry. Joe found himself feeling slightly irritable.
‘Uncle Joe, Uncle Joe! You promised to take us to the ice-cream parlour on the high street. The one with the chocolate fountain.’
Mike cut in. ‘I’m not sure you deserve that now.’
‘Pleease, Dad. Pleease, Mum.’
Joe glanced at Lynette as though seeking approval. Ever since that misunderstanding on the beach he’d been feeling horribly awkward in front of her, and somehow he sensed she felt the same.
‘If Uncle Joe wants to treat you, that’s up to him.’ She gave him a quick smile, and Joe hoped that meant he was forgiven.
‘We could go on to the Puddleducks mural after the ice-cream parlour,’ he suggested as they walked down Joyce’s stairs, the boys leaping down two at a time. ‘I’d like to show it to you. You know I wasn’t very keen at first, but actually, it’s turned out to be amazing.’
Mike sounded amused. ‘Like the book you showed me, the one you and your predecessor have been writing? Boys, don’t do that.’
He turned back to his friend. ‘You might say you want to leave this place, Joe, but to my mind, you seem to have settled in rather well. By the way, you were going to tell me something about Ed. You said she’d done something really surprising.’
Lynette’s nose wrinkled in disgust. ‘After what you told me about her complete lack of regret for … for what she did, I’ve lost some of the sympathy I had for her. Think I’ll let you two walk ahead and have some boy time while I get the kids their ice creams.’
‘No, please let me,’ Joe insisted. ‘It’s my treat.’ He gave an affectionate look at the boys, who were trying to arm-wrestle as they walked along the street. ‘They may be the closest I ever get to having children of my own.’
After a good fifteen minutes at the ice-cream shop (‘Yes, you can have a double scoop if that’s all right with Mum and Dad’), Joe finally got a chance to walk side by side with Mike while Lynette hung behind with the boys. His heart began to thump as he tried to work out the best way to talk about what had been eating away at him ever since that day on the beach. It had been a mistake. A silly mistake. At first he had thought he could just brush it over but since then, every time he’d spoken to Mike, he had felt a horrible burning guilt that wouldn’t go away.
He didn’t know what he would do without his two closest friends. But at the same time, he knew they couldn’t have the relationship they’d enjoyed before unless he came clean.
‘There’s something I need to tell you,’ he began as they walked along the high street.
Mike raised his eyebrows. ‘There is?’
‘It’s about …’
‘Hi, Joe!’
He almost didn’t recognise her. She was sporting a sweet white hat that clung to her head, looking rather like a twenties flapper. She also wore high black boots under a white coat and was hanging happily on Barry’s arm.
‘Gemma! Are you feeling better? Did you get my flowers? How is Danny?’
He felt his words spluttering out of him like an awkward, embarrassed adolescent.
‘I’m much better, thanks. The flowers were lovely. Thank you.’ Then her face darkened slightly. ‘Nancy phoned me this morning to say that Danny has a bit of an infection, but that happens sometimes. I’m so relieved about Lily, though.’
Joe nodded as Barry made to move on, but Gemma stopped him as Lynette and the boys caught up. ‘Are these your godsons?’ she grinned, looking down at two faces smeared with chocolate and ice cream.
‘Yes, we are!’ announced Charlie proudly. ‘Uncle Joe’s the best. He got me a bigger ice cream than Fraser.’
‘No he didn’t.’
‘Yes he did!’
Gemma laughed. Barry, Joe noticed, was squeezing her arm again as though to move her on, but she was holding out her hand to Lynette before he could properly introduce them. ‘Hi. I’m Gemma. I work with Joe; he’s my boss and also my next-door neighbour.’
‘Really?’ Lynette’s voice had an interested lilt to it. ‘So you’re the Puddleducks playgroup leader! I’m a teacher – maths – and so is my husband, Mike.’
Barry was looking bored now. Couldn’t Gemma see that this was the kind of man who needed the conversation to revolve around him? thought Joe.
‘I’ve always admired pre-school teachers,’ Lynette was saying.
‘And I’ve always admired anyone who can teach maths!’ laughed Gemma. She gave him a wicked look. ‘It’s not one of my strengths, is it, Joe?’
Barry was looking really impatient now.
‘Got to get back to write the next newsletter – maybe see you back at Joyce’s later,’ Gemma called out over her shoulder as she allowed herself to be moved on. The boys had already shot ahead in a running race with Lynette close behind them. ‘Better catch them up or they’ll get lost,’ said Joe, glancing at Mike.
‘What are you looking at me like that for?’
‘If I wasn’t mistaken, I’d say you secretly fancied that girl.’
‘Rubbish! We have nothing in common apart from our jobs, and besides she is at least ten years younger than me.’
‘I know the signs.’ Mike’s voice took on the ‘I’ve got something to tell you’ tone that Joe had learned to spot over the years. ‘It’s different from the way you look at Lynette.’
Joe’s blood froze.
‘That’s what you wanted to talk to me about, isn’t it? It’s all right. Lynette told me. We don’t have any secrets. She gave you a comfort hug on the beach the other month and when you went to kiss her cheek, you accidentally brushed her mouth. Is that the long and the short of it?’
‘Yes,’ Joe mumbled.
‘It’s OK. Honest. I know you’re not after my wife. You’re not that kind of guy.’
Joe didn’t know what to say. Mike and Lynette had talked about the kiss? He wanted to curl up with embarrassment. And now Mike thought that he had the hots for Gemma? Ridiculous!
But, somehow, what really haunted him, as they made their way down the hill towards the playgroup and its mural, was that Mike and Lynette had a relationship where they could talk about things like that.
And that was just the kind of relationship he wanted with someone. Whoever she might be.
‘Uncle Joe! Uncle Joe! Are we nearly at the mural?’
‘Nearly. Just round the corner and …’
No. He couldn’t believe it.
Aghast, the five of them stood there, staring at the wall. Yesterday it had been virtually completed, apart from one square where the team were still working on the cinema.
Now it was an awful indistinguishable mess, smeared with red paint and an obscenity which Joe could hardly bear to look at, sprayed in big sprawling letters.
It was ruined. Absolutely ruined.