Chapter 3
“Ready?” Vi said to me as we looked at the building. I rolled a pair of smooth cylindrical magnets around in my hand, something I stimmed with to try to calm myself down whenever I got nervous, and right now, I was beyond nervous.
“It’s going to be different. It’s…” I said, trying to find the words to express just how things being different affected me.
“Of course it will be, babe, but I’ll be there for you, in a way…
” Vi laid her hand on my thigh, careful not to cover my hands that were still working the magnets.
My girlfriend had learned that interrupting or blocking my stimming was one of the worst things you could do to someone with autism when they were already feeling so out of sorts.
“And this time, even better, everyone’s going to be here.
” She tied her pink hair back with a hair tie, giving her a gorgeous ponytail.
“I mean, right now, Pallas is so small that you’re literally going to be among friends, because those are the only people who believe this can work. ”
Vi leaned in to kiss me on the cheek, and even though my rattled state told me to turn away from it, I was able to pause the storm in my head to let my girlfriend in.
Even more, I somehow vaulted over the anxiety and turned my face toward Vi, kissing her fully, the magnets going motionless in my hand for the first time in an hour.
It was a perfect moment, and a warmth spread over my body.
Beyond all the sex stuff, which was of course fun, this is what I appreciated most in Vi in the year since we’d started dating.
And now that we were…whatever we were doing…
the moments like this were what I looked forward to more than sex, almost. I mean, I still loved fucking Vi, and everyone else, but the feelings of warmth and safety she provided me were deeper than anything I’d felt with another person before.
After we kissed for a few moments, Vi pulled back from me and looked into my eyes. “We’re in this together, right?”
I took a breath, feeling more centered now, Vi’s calm presence once again able to keep me from spiraling out.
“Right…alright, let’s do this.” I put the magnets in my pocket and tried to loosen even one percent of the tension I felt between my shoulders.
We got out of the car…the new car. Our car.
Having things that belonged to Vi and me was still strange, as I’d lived thirty-two years as pretty much my own entity and being “Emma and Vi” instead of “Emma” and “Vi” was an adjustment for me.
Moving in together into a new place was a big step, too, but she’d been there to help me adjust as we turned the space from mine to ours.
I mean, to be fair, she was basically sleeping…
or doing whatever…at my apartment for pretty much every night for three months before we just decided to make things official.
I looked up at the building. “It does look nice…” I said, shielding my eyes, admiring the glass and steel facade and the Pallas logo that Vi had designed.
“Kim got a deal on the building since it’s technically in The Valley, it was like twenty mill less than a place in Pasadena.”
“And she’ll pay for my gas for the extra seventy-nine miles of commute I’ll have a week.”
“Em…our car is electric…you work from home three days a week…” Vi said, leading me toward the front door in a very unsubtle manner.
“Yeah, I think I just want something to hold over Kim’s head.” I smiled.
“And let me guess, now you’re going to say you want Kim to also lift you over her head…”
“Vi, you can’t interrupt my jokes, it’s a very disrespectful thing to someone with my condition.”
“Get a note from Dr. Mitchell and I’ll consider it.” Vi pulled me in and kissed me again, the sunlight beaming off our skin almost matching the heat between us.