Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
MATTEO
“I couldn’t get her out of my head.” - Julian Hart, Painted Inferno
Coming here was a bad idea.
I should have just lied and told my sisters and mother I couldn’t make it. There must have been some kind of bullshit excuse I could have fed them instead.
Shifting my weight, I roll my shoulders back, mentally preparing myself before reaching for the doorknob and giving it a turn. It opens effortlessly, and I let myself into the home I spent most of my teenage years in.
The first half of my life was spent in Aston, a little under two hours north of Hillford. When my father retired from playing for the Aston Archers, he and my mother decided they wanted a change of scenery.
My Uncle Caleb and Aunt Mia were the first to make the move to Hillford. Caleb’s two years older than my father and he accepted a position as an assistant coach for the Hillford Ice Hawks after retiring. A few years ago, he was promoted to head coach.
After my father retired, he became really involved in youth coaching. He was hired as a head coach for a tier one youth program.
The house is buzzing with energy and voices, and I pause just inside the door, my eyes dropping to the mess of shoes in the foyer. There are a hell of a lot more shoes here than just my family’s.
I kick my own sneakers off and shrug out of my jacket to hang on the wall by the door. My father’s laughter carries through the house, and I hear the voices of two of his best friends and old teammates, Lincoln Matthews and Rowan Taylor.
That explains the mess of shoes.
I’m not surprised they’re here. The two of them are more like uncles than anything else. Hockey families have a habit of sticking together after the hours and years spent in the same space.
“Matteo!”
Posey’s voice comes from the top of the stairs. A smile spreads across my face as my oldest friend comes down the steps. Her curly blonde hair is pulled back in a braid resting over her left shoulder.
Posey’s two years younger than me. The two of us grew up together since our fathers played for the Archers together and her mom and mine are very close. She now works for the Hillford Ice Hawks as one of our skating coaches.
“Hey, Poe,” I say, pulling her in for a hug as she reaches the bottom of the stairs. “How are you? It’s been a while.”
“I’m good, how are you? I saw you seem to have your groove back.”
“Yeah, it seems like I do.” I pause, glancing at the stairs as my sister Elena and Rowan’s daughter, Lucy, come down. “Hey, El. Hey, Luce.” I hug the two of them. Lucy’s five years younger than me, so she and Elena have always been closer.
“Where’s your brother?” I ask Posey.
There are ten kids in total between the five different families that form our one Archers family. Half are out of college and the younger ones are still in school, or at least college-aged.
“Chase couldn’t get away for the weekend. They had a big game in Michigan.”
I nod my head in understanding. “I get it.”
“Figured you would,” Posey chuckles, linking her arm through mine. “Come on, your mom said the food will be ready soon.”
Posey leads me into the kitchen to find everyone else. My dad, Rowan, Lincoln, and Uncle Caleb are all sitting at the table in the connected dining room. Posey’s mom, Nova, my Aunt Mia, and Rowan’s wife, Hadley, are all gathered around the island counter, talking about something.
My spine immediately straightens, a smile falling from my lips as I meet my father’s gaze from across the room.
Carson Ford isn’t an angry man, but when he thinks he’s right about something, he stands his ground. At some point, one of us is going to have to apologize first. My pride says it won’t be me.
“Matteo!” My mother comes rushing over to me. “Caro.” She kisses my cheek. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“And you swear he’s not your favorite,” Elena murmurs under her breath.
I shoot a glare at her, and she gives me the middle finger.
“Where’s Pip and Tella?” I ask my aunt.
“They’re at a concert.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s right.” I nod. I remember Tella saying she bought tickets for Pippa’s birthday two months ago. I look back at my mom. “Do you need help with anything?”
“No, no, we got it.” My mother smiles, wiping her hands on her apron. “Dinner’s almost ready.”
I make my way around the counter, hugging and greeting Nova, Hadley, and Aunt Mia. I suck in a deep breath, knowing I need to face my father. Pushing my shoulders back again, I turn to the table and head over to where all the men are seated.
Uncle Caleb nods his head in greeting, Lincoln and Rowan both shake my hand, and my father’s gaze locks on mine again.
The muscle in his jaw tightens and his expression is unreadable.
For a second, it looks like guilt washes over his eyes before it vanishes.
He rises to his feet, surprising me as he walks over and pulls me in for a hug.
“Hey, bud. Glad you could make it.”
“Yeah,” I say quietly. My stomach rolls with uncertainty. “Happy birthday.”
My father releases me. “Can we talk?”
There’s no hint of anger in his voice, yet I’m confused. I thought he was still mad at me. “Yeah, of course,” I nod, my heart hammering harder. And then the front door slams.
“Hey, fam,” Theo shouts from the foyer as he comes strolling into the kitchen. “Hope I’m not late.”
He hugs my mom and waves to the other mothers.
“Theo!” Lucy runs over to him, both of their laughter filling the air as she jumps into his arms. Growing up, Lucy and Theo were inseparable and their friendship didn’t stop after we all became adults.
He swings her around, setting her down as he kisses the top of her head and they go their separate ways.
He strolls over to the table. “Coach,” he says, nodding at Uncle Caleb before addressing everyone else. “Happy birthday, Mr. Carson.”
“Thanks, Theodore.”
My eyebrows tug together. “You didn’t tell me you’d be here.”
Theo shrugs with indifference as he pulls out an empty chair. “You didn’t ask.”
I had been trying to put this birthday celebration out of my mind so I didn’t end up overthinking it like I normally do.
“Where are Nash and Riley?”
Nash is Theo’s stepfather who played with my dad and the rest of the guys. He met Theo’s mom when she was pregnant and is the only father Theo’s ever known.
“My dad’s at the game with Ryland and Chase, and my mom was having a POTS flareup, so she stayed home.”
Ryland is Theo’s younger brother. He’s the same age as Bella and they’re both sophomores in college.
“Alright, everyone, come help yourself to food. We’ll eat first and have cake afterwards.”
My dad rises from his seat, the same time everyone else does, but he walks directly to my mother. A smile tugs on his lips and he wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her close as he quietly says something to her.
She laughs softly, he plants a kiss on her forehead, and they break apart. My father’s always been the hardest on me, but if there’s one thing I can’t say anything bad about, it’s the way he’s always treated my mother.
Andi Ford is the light of his life.
I wonder if he ever thinks about those five years that I was alive and he had no idea I existed.
“Come on, Matty.” Theo throws his arm around the tops of my shoulders. “After that practice Coach put us through, you have to be starving.”
My stomach grumbles as if in response to his statement, and Theo laughs.
We file around the island with everyone else, dishing food out onto their plates buffet-style.
The house is loud, filled with laughter and flowing conversation, just as it always is whenever our families are together.
The seats fill up at the table and around the island in the kitchen.
I opt to stand by the counter, taking it all in as my chest warms.
With all the kids grown, some in college and some not living right here in Hillford, it’s not always easy for everyone to show up. We try our best to make it work if we can. There are two non-negotiables every year that everyone has to attend.
Christmas Eve and our annual summer getaway at the beach house.
Our parents all went in on a house together and it’s open for all of us to use whenever we’d like, except for that one week in the summer. That’s when we all show up and spend the entire week as one big, blended family.
There’s a twinge of guilt as my mind drifts to Jade. Her family is all on a different continent. Here I am, surrounded by family—blood and chosen—and she has to get on a plane to fly across the ocean just to see hers.
I can’t even imagine what that must be like for her.
“Did you and Dad make up yet?” Bella says as she slides next to me. I look over at the table as Theo drags Lucy’s chair right next to his.
Pursing my lips, I look at my sister from the corner of my eye. “No.”
“You know, he only has your best interest in mind, right? He wasn’t trying to be a dick. You both blew it out of proportion.”
I suck in a deep breath. “He said he wants to talk, but I don’t feel like I should apologize first.”
“Because you don’t think you’re wrong?”
It’s not just me. We’re both wrong with how we handled things.
“Because he started it.”
Bella huffs. “That’s so childish.”
“Well, isn’t he being childish too if he can’t be the bigger person and apologize?”
“Remember what Uncle Caleb used to always say to us when we were kids?”
I bite the inside of my cheek, not wanting to answer her. I know what she’s going to say before she even speaks the words.
“Don’t wait until it’s too late,” she echoes the words from inside my head. “Stop waiting for him to be the bigger person and do it yourself.”
My face contorts as my eyes slice to hers. “That’s a little extreme. Dad’s not dying.”
“Neither was Amelia, and look what happened to her. Do you think Uncle Cale expected her to just be gone like that?”
My stomach twists into a knot. Neither of us ever met Uncle Caleb’s first wife, Amelia. She was killed in a car accident when a drunk driver hit her head on.