Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
‘O kaaay. That sounds all kinds of awks.’ Jess looked at Allie, concern etched all over her face.
‘You can say that again.’ Allie picked up her drink and considered their surroundings. When Jess had told her where to meet her, Allie had merely tapped the address into her phone and followed the directions. So when she found Jess standing on the street in front of what looked like the entrance to an old-fashioned public toilet she had presumed that Jess would then lead her to some fabulous hidden away gem. And in fairness to Jess she had done just that, but this gem just happened to be hidden away underground, right down the steps of the old public toilet. In hindsight, Allie should probably have done more due diligence and asked Jess in advance what the dress code for tonight was as there was no mistaking the burlesque dancers doing their thing on a stage at one end of the room. And while earlier on in the evening, when trying to escape from Will and Martin, Allie might have regretted the cutesy ruffled rara-inspired skirt she was wearing, she was now regretting it for entirely different reasons; it really wasn’t living up to the sexy decadent boudoir vibe of the bar.
Jess hadn’t made the same mistake, presumably because she had suggested this place and knew exactly what to expect. Allie eyed her off-the-shoulder black top and her studded boots with jealousy and tried to keep her eyes off Jess’s cleavage but was struggling. She wasn’t sure what bra Jess had on but made a mental note to ask her at some point, because wherever it was from, whatever it cost, Allie needed one of those in her life.
‘Jess, why are we here?’
‘Work.’ Which always seemed to be Jess’s response but it never stopped Allie from asking.
‘Okaaay … are you thinking of a career change?’ Allie smirked and gestured to the dancers.
‘Yup.’
‘Wait, what, seriously?’ Allie put down her drink in surprise.
‘Allie! I’m kidding. This is the hottest club that’s opened this season in London. Didn’t you see the queue of people waiting to get in? We’re pitching to them next week,’ Jess continued, ‘to do all their marketing and PR. This,’ Jess pointed to their two drinks, ‘is research.’
‘Nice.’
‘You want another one by the way?’
‘It’s my round.’ Allie made a move to stand, but Jess was faster.
‘No,’ she gestured to Allie to put her purse away. ‘It’s on me, I can expense these.’
‘Well, thank you, I’ll have the same again, please. What are you drinking by the way?’
Jess looked slightly furtive. ‘Oh I can’t remember what it was called, it’s a bit like a gimlet, I think, but all the drinks in here have burlesque dancer names. I’ll have to ask the barman to remind me.’
‘I’ll have the same then if it’s good.’
‘Oh, no. You don’t have to. You like the one you have.’ And before Allie could protest further Jess had left and was already chatting to the barman, who, by the way he was looking at Jess’s cleavage, seemed happy to make her up any drink of her choosing.
When Jess returned, Allie reached over and picked up Jess’s drink. ‘Can I try a sip?’
‘No!’ Jess grabbed her glass back, spilling some of the drink on the table as she did so.
‘Everything OK?’ A thought had begun formulating in Allie’s mind, a small but insidious voice that was starting to shout louder and louder that Jess was being weird. She had been weird when Allie had phoned her the other day, evasive about where she and Tom were going. And now she was being downright odd about her drink, about its name, about Allie not choosing the same one, even about Allie trying a small sip of hers. Either Jess had become exceptionally territorial over her drinks, or she was…
‘Everything’s fine!’ insisted Jess. ‘Just Tom has a cold, and you know how it is. I probably have it too. Not that I have any symptoms yet, but you know they always say you’re most contagious before you’re symptomatic. So maybe best if we stick to our own drinks tonight. I don’t want you catching anything.’ She smiled slightly manically at Allie and then took a sip of her carefully guarded drink.
Allie narrowed her eyes. ‘What about the olives?’
‘I’m sorry?’ Allie pointed to the plate of antipasto that was on the table in between them and which Jess and Allie had been happily sharing, right up until this revelation about Tom’s ‘cold’.
‘We’ve been sharing those all evening. Are you worried about that too?’ Allie tried to contain her smile, she was enjoying tormenting Jess.
‘Gosh, you’re right. I’m so sorry. I hadn’t thought. Probably germs all over them now…’
Allie waited a beat, wondering if this was the moment that Jess would cave and confess her news that Allie was now convinced she was sitting on. It would be a challenge for either of them to spend the rest of the evening with an untouched plate of food between them, just to maintain the point that Tom had a ‘cold’. But Jess said nothing and eventually Allie gave in. It was just too wrong to deprive a pregnant woman of food, if that was indeed what was going on. Let her keep her secret for a little while longer, surely she would tell Allie when she was ready. Jess shifted awkwardly in her seat and Allie was struck again by her boobs, which, now she came to think of it, could actually be entirely natural and nothing to do with the structured engineering of an excellent bra. Allie felt momentarily saddened by the fact that she was not about to be gifted the knowledge of a secret new bra that would transform her life.
‘Don’t worry,’ Allie said, leaning forward and using one of the tiny cocktail sticks to divide the contents of the antipasto in half. ‘There, you have that half and I’ll have this.’ Jess’s reaction at being allowed back to her seat at the charcuterie board made Allie smile and decide she had definitely done the right thing, for now.
‘So, what are you going to do about Will? How did you leave it?’
‘Awkwardly, as we have already established.’ Allie sighed. ‘God I really don’t know, Jess. He was so sweetly surprised to see me. Do you remember what it was like when we were teenagers and you were surprised into introducing your boyfriend to your parents? It was just like that.’ Allie looked wistful.
‘No idea what you’re talking about,’ Jess said through a mouthful of chorizo. ‘Remember I went to a convent school. Didn’t even talk to a boy who wasn’t related to me till I hit freshers week.’
‘And we all remember how that went down.’
‘Hey!’ protested Jess. ‘You weren’t even there during my fresher’s week.’
‘Yeah, but I’ve heard the stories, and seen the scars.’ Allie grinned at Jess as she held up her hand where you could still see the faintly ghostlike trail of a line of stitches that Jess had earned after paying the student barman in kisses for all the tequila she had drunk that night, which resulted in her plunging her hand straight through a glass door. Jess still maintained that she hadn’t seen the door there, but Allie had it on reliable information that prior to this incident Jess was proclaiming she had magic powers and could walk through walls.
‘OK, but you can imagine what it must have been like. Proud you had a boyfriend, embarrassed that you were about to have to introduce them to your parents? Mortified that everyone in the room would know you were having sex?’
‘Guess so,’ Jess said noncommittally. ‘Anyway, what happens next? Martin presumably now knows that you and Will are…’ Allie interrupted with a strangled noise in protest at discussing precisely what Martin did or didn’t know about the status of her relationship with Will. Jess ignored her. ‘And Will now knows that you’re Martin’s secret writing partner? And neither of them seem cross about it so that’s good, right?’
‘I don’t actually think they know though…’
Jess cocked her head. ‘Explain.’
‘Well, yes, Will knows I’m working with Martin, but he doesn’t know that we’re discussing his parents’ marriage or that I am using it as the basis for my next book. Nor does he know that I knew he was Martin’s son before just now and that I didn’t tell him.’
Jess frowned. ‘I didn’t actually realise that you were using their marriage in the book. That’s a bit off, isn’t it? Does Martin know?’
Allie reddened. ‘Well, no, not exactly. I mean, he knows I was using some of his stories as inspiration but…’ She tailed off. ‘Christ, this is worse than I imagined, isn’t it?’
Jess gave a big sigh and put the piece of crusty bread down that she was about to shovel into her mouth. ‘I hate to say it, but yes, it’s bad. I’m not sure how you’re going to salvage this. Honestly, Al, what were you thinking? Did you not think that Martin and/or Will were eventually going to figure out that you were using both of them for your book?’
‘I wasn’t using them!’ bristled Allie. ‘I really like Will. I like Martin too. I’d started to think of him as a real friend.’
‘But that’s the thing, friends don’t tell each other’s stories without asking permission first. Imagine how I would feel if you’d used me or my relationship with Tom in one of your books?’
‘I did! Remember book five? I used your meet cute at my book signing?’
‘Yes,’ replied Jess firmly, ‘and you asked us beforehand if it was OK to do so.’
Allie was about to protest further and then she shut her mouth. Because Jess was right, it wasn’t OK for her to have used Martin’s marriage for her book. She had justified it by telling herself that she had been frank with Martin about using some of the stories and situations he had shared with her. But she had never categorically pointed out that she was planning to use his and Angie’s forty-year love affair, near catastrophic demise and the redemptive arc that Martin was currently climbing. Nor had she told Will. And how would she feel if she discovered that someone was using her parents’ marriage without telling her or them? Once she had got over the shock she would have felt very betrayed. Especially if the betrayal had been conducted by someone she thought cared about her.
‘Shit. I’ve messed up.’
‘Can I ask you something? This whole thing with Martin? Do you, I mean have you … you don’t think it’s got something to do with your dad?’
‘What?’ Allie snapped. ‘What do you mean?’
Jess paused, obviously wondering how to bring up the perennially sensitive subject. ‘I just mean, I know how close you were to him, and I know how much you miss him…’
Allie squinted at her friend. ‘Are you suggesting I’m using Martin as some kind of father figure?’
Jess sighed. ‘I don’t know, I just think you seem overly invested in making someone else’s book work. And overly invested in his opinion?’
Allie started to go a little pink. ‘That’s because I am invested in his book working, because he’s my friend. And I am invested in his opinion, because he ’ s my friend, and a bestselling author.’
‘But Allie, you’re a bestselling author too. I’m just saying that maybe there’s another reason this has all come about.’
‘Daddy issues?’ spat Allie.
‘No,’ Jess said resignedly, ‘not like that. I’m just worried about you. I’m worried about your book, I’m worried that you’re ruining a thing with a guy who you obviously really like. And I’m worried you’re not thinking straight.’
‘I am thinking straight and this has zero to do with my dad, OK?’
‘OK.’ Jess held her hands up in surrender. ‘So what are you going to do next? Here, have an olive, you look like you’re about to faint.’
Allie gingerly took the olive on a cocktail stick that Jess was holding out at her like a white flag.
‘Well I need to come clean, don’t I?’
‘You do,’ confirmed Jess.
‘Do you think it will be OK?’
‘In what sense? As in will Martin forgive you? Will Will still want to have sex with you? Will you still have a book to deliver? Which one?’
‘All of the above?’ Allie confirmed weakly, reaching for some salami and hoping the salt would revive her.
Jess considered this for a moment. ‘Hard to tell, given I don’t know either of them or much about the book publishing world.’
Allie groaned and put her head in her hands and not even the can-canning burlesque dancers could distract her from Jess’s miserable suggestion that some of this mess could be put down to the fact that she still hankered after her dead dad’s approval.