Chapter Sixteen #2
Diana shook her head. The sadness in her expression nearly broke his heart all over again. “I’ve told you my reasoning. It’s better that I let you move on and find someone else who can give you what you need.”
“Why must she prove so stubborn?” Nathaniel pulled her closer to his side, found and held her gaze with his. “You’d sacrifice a future with me for that?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Why?”
When she shrugged, her skin brushed over his and left heated tendrils of awareness behind. “Because I love you and want you to have everything you desire.” She pressed her lips together as they trembled. “If that isn’t with me, so be it.”
How had he never considered courting a strong-willed woman like her before? Perhaps because he’d wanted her all along, but, damn, he adored her. “Did you ever think that perhaps it’s society who says I need those things? Did you ever think to ask me what I want for my own life?”
“No, I just assumed…” Diana frowned as she considered him. “What are you saying?”
“The same thing I said in the drawing room.” He brought her closer still and brushed his lips over hers.
“Darling, I desire you, I want you, I need you because I love you. Not for what you can possibly give me, even if fate was kind and a miracle was at play. I don’t require any of those things to live a happy life, but I do need you. ”
Skepticism lay stamped on her face as her light-brown hair tumbled from its pins and the silver strands glimmered in the dim illumination from the single candle on the bureau. “I don’t know… Everything is so important, though.”
“As are you.” He held her gaze, almost willed her to understand, to see it from his point of view. “It matters not to me if I never have an heir. Let the solicitors figure that out after I’m off this mortal coil. Perhaps they can find a direct male descendant of my father’s.”
“But—”
A tiny huff escaped him. “A title is a title, but it can’t hold a candle to love, to finding the person you want to spend the remainder of life with, to being content with who you are.” And that was finally what he was. Diana had helped him to see that.
Slowly, she shook her head. “What if you want children for yourself?”
“Then we can adopt one of the multitudes of orphans in London, and in the end, I’ll still have you.”
For long moments, she frowned at him, regarded him with a slightly tilted head. “I’m not worth tossing away your legacy, though.”
“Like hell you’re not. And besides, they are two different things entirely.” When she didn’t appear convinced, he knew it was time to play the one card left to him. “I shall return in a twinkling.”
“Where are you going?” she asked as he rolled off the bed to rummage in his discarded clothing.
“One moment.” After pulling a much-folded piece of paper from the pocket of his waistcoat, Nathaniel returned to the bed, where he gently unfolded it, catching a ring into his hand and hiding it in his palm before she spied it. “I have taken your advice.”
“Oh?”
He nodded. “I’ve written my own bit of poetry. For you. And if that doesn’t convince you of my feelings and intent then nothing will.”
“You wrote poetry?” Her eyes rounded with surprise. “For me?”
“I did.” Feeling a bit cheeky, he winked. “Shall I read it, or are you determined to stick by your original decision?”
“Don’t be an arse, Holdcraft.”
Which meant yes.
“Bear in mind, this isn’t nearly as lovely as Keats can do, but as it’s my first attempt, I’m allowed a bit of latitude.” Then he cleared his throat, consulted the paper even though he knew the words off by heart, and he started to speak. “I call it An Ode to My Future Wife.”
Her gaze was glued to his face.
“In her eyes, there are a billion stars where I dream, but in her lips, I lose myself in the myriad of possibilities for they are so sweet.
“Named after a goddess, she is that to me; in her kisses I am reborn, for she is as fierce as a huntress but as magical as a deity.
“In her touch, my world shivers into sharper focus, she has reconstructed my future merely with her words.
“There is beauty in how she moves, but it is the hope she gives in the music of her laughter that brings me to my knees.
“What have I done to deserve such a woman? I will do whatever she desires so that I might keep her, for there is no one else in this world I love and adore as much as she.
“My Diana, my lover, my world… my heart.”
She bounced her gaze from the paper to his face. “Oh, Nathaniel.” Tears welled again in her eyes, magnifying the blue. “That was lovely.” There was a decided tremble in her chin. “Never say you have no talent. Truly, you should continue to pen poetry.”
“You were my inspiration, of course.” Then he opened his palm, took the ring and held the shank with his thumb and forefinger.
“This is part of a parure from my estate. It once belonged to one of my aunts, who died shortly after she married, but in my heart I know the whole part and parcel belongs to you.”
“Why?”
“The middle stone is because I adore seeing you in lavender, and the sapphires remind me of your eyes.” A central round amethyst winked in the low light, surrounded by tiny round sapphires and diamonds that winked like mad every time he moved the trinket.
“Marry me, Diana. I love you, have loved you, will always love you, to the end of my natural life and perhaps beyond.”
A tear slipped down her cheek. “You don’t play fair.”
“Of course I don’t, not when love is in the offing.
” When she remained quiet, he tried one last time.
“If you feel you might be bored with me, then let us collaborate together and do something that will help people in London. Something that will be a legacy for us. We’ll create our own charity or cause, hell, we can open our own bookshop, I don’t care.
I merely want you by my side because you make me better, make me want to strive to be the man you think I am. ”
What else could he say to convince her that he was genuine?
Diana struggled into a sitting position with her glorious body on display. “You are making the changes, have started that right after meeting me, so there is no need to think you aren’t a good man already.”
At least she’d noticed. “And?” He didn’t want to rush her, but damn, he’d been hovering on the edge of hope for a bit, and he required an answer.
Tears fell to her cheeks. She glanced from the ring he held to his face. Finally, she nodded. “How can I deny you anything? How can I deny myself even if I wonder if you’ll regret this some years down the line?”
“I won’t. I promise.”
She nodded. “No, you might not, but for what it’s worth, I do love you to distraction.”
“Ha!” Relief twisted down his spine, but victory swelled his chest. “Does that mean you’ll marry me?” He needed to hear the words.
“Yes,” she said in a choked whisper and followed it with a nod. “I’ll marry you and be happy to do so.”
Excitement plowed into him, yet he resisted the urge to shout his happiness from the window. “What of William’s objections?”
“They don’t matter.” Her shrug only lifted on shoulder. “He has his own life to live. This one is mine.”
“Ah, sweeting, I am beside myself with joy.” Taking her left hand, when he slipped the ring onto her fourth finger, his own hand shook. “By the by, I did ask Percy’s permission, which he granted.”
“How sweet of you.” Leaning over, she brushed her lips over his.
Another wave of awareness shivered through him.
When she met his gaze, a wealth of emotions shone in her eyes, the strongest of which was love.
“My heart is so full it frightens me. What if this marriage is as cold and uncaring as my first?”
“I can promise you that will not happen. I am not Atterbury, and I’m far too madly in love with you to ever ignore you.
I might as well cut off my hands.” When she would have protested, he hauled her into his arms so that she straddled his lap.
Then he kissed her, and continued to do so until she was equally convinced of his fervor.
“Let me recover for an hour or so and then I’ll show you the depths of my regard. ”
“Oh, Nathaniel.” Diana snuggled into his chest. The warmth of her breath on his skin worked to arouse him all over again. “I already know. You’ve never hidden it.”
“Perhaps I didn’t, for in you, I saw my future from the first.”
To be honest, he was tired of hiding his heart in shallow liaisons and never truly connecting with a woman. All of that was over, and he couldn’t wait to see where his life led next. Wherever it was, with her by his side, he was certain it would prove spectacular.