13. Harlow
HARLOW
T he shadow of the North Hold guard towers loom over me as I study the elaborate reinforced locking system on the gates. It’s a marvel of engineering, but I haven’t the faintest idea how it works because I’ve never been this close to the gates when they open.
A few yards away, several large geldings stir restlessly as Henry quietly converses with his parents.
They brought a remarkably small contingent of guards to the city.
I’d expect more security for the leaders of their household.
I’m not certain of the scope of a blessing from Asher, the Divine of Endings.
Maybe they don’t need a horde of guards. That thought sends a chill up my spine.
I wonder absently how the defenses of Mountain Haven are holding up with them here.
How do they keep their wall secure without holy fire?
In Lunameade, it’s such a rare magic, gifted by Vardek, the Divine of Protection.
My father and Able are the only ones who can wield such magic.
But I suppose it’s possible that there is someone similarly blessed hidden somewhere in Mountain Haven.
I try to ignore the fact that somewhere inside the tall walls of the manor behind us, Aidia is probably watching from some high window, taking shallow breaths so as not to hurt her bruised ribs.
I turn and wave, but I know if I lay eyes on her right now, with her staying in her cage and me flying free, I will lose my nerve .
I take three deep breaths in and out to settle the twisting, raw feeling of leaving her.
It feels like failing, like surrendering to my parents once again.
I can’t shake the sense that I’m letting down the women of the city who count on the Poison Vixen.
How can I escape when so many others are trapped?
But if I don’t go, I can’t return with the answers. And if I can’t assess this threat for my parents, I can’t get access to the tunnel.
Fear settles in my bones. When the task was distant, it felt entirely doable, but for the first time, it hits me that I might never return. In trying to find the leverage to save my sister, I might doom her to be trapped here alone forever.
Aidia has always felt stitched to me. I always assumed it would be a sharp rending that separated us, but this is more like a slow, brutal tear. I feel the distance grow by the second, and I haven’t even passed through the gates to the outside world.
The morning is cold, a sharp wind whipping over the wall. I focus on its breath-stealing chill to steady myself.
Henry approaches slowly, perhaps sensing my nervousness, or just waiting for me to turn into a wilting mess.
He’s wearing a heavy fur-lined coat and well-worn riding boots, his hair neatly combed back.
Much to my annoyance, he looks handsome, like some mythic dark god who drags maidens into the forest.
Though I’ve never been one for devotion, I tilt my chin up, praying to the Divine that everything I’m feeling isn’t written all over my face.
Henry’s gaze lingers behind me. “No parents?”
“We said our farewells last night.”
There’s a hint of disapproval in his frown.
“Careful, Henry. Pity is one step removed from tolerance,” I taunt.
His lips twitch. “Tolerating my wife. Sounds terrible.” Footsteps crunch behind me, and Henry purses his lips. “Seems you’re not forgotten after all. Your brother’s here to see you off.”
I turn in time to see Kellan smile tightly and nod at Henry in the way men do to casually dismiss each other. Henry takes the hint and walks back to his horse by the gate.
Kellan guides me off to the side. “Have everything you need?” he asks.
He means my dagger .
I pat my thigh. “Never leave home without it.”
“Right.” Kellan’s voice is soft. His gaze drifts up to the North Hold mansion, and I know he’s thinking of Aidia, locked away in there like some sort of rare bird. He’s thinking of losing another sister to a brutal man.
“Be careful,” he whispers.
“I’ll be back in a few weeks, Kel. Hug Libby and the kids for me.”
He sighs and shakes his head. “Kate is beside herself that she won’t get to be in Aunt Harlow’s wedding. But I told her that you would tell her about it in detail when you return. Considering their customs, I’ll ask you not to.”
I bite back a laugh, so relieved he has the wherewithal to joke when I feel like crying.
Kellan pulls me into a tight hug. “Low, listen,” he whispers. “Our father didn’t want to tell you this because he thought you would back out, but I can’t let you go out there without all of the information.”
“What information?” I whisper, trying to keep my expression neutral.
Henry is watching from about twenty yards away. He fumbles with a saddlebag, but he doesn’t bother to hide that he’s paying close attention.
Kellan leans closer. “There is a chance that they think our father was responsible.”
“For what?”
“For the Drained attack that nearly annihilated them ten years ago.”
I jerk away from Kellan. “What do you mean? We don’t command the Drained.”
Kellan shakes his head, his eyes darting to Henry and back to me.
“Focus, Harlow. I just needed you to know that this is dangerous. I don’t know why they’ve shown up after all this time, after all our searching.
But I can’t rule out the possibility that they have a score to settle and that they want to use you to do it. ”
“Why didn’t you say so before? Why wait until now?” I turn my back to Henry and run a hand over my face to try to master my frustration. I’m so tired of secrets and compartmentalized family knowledge. I am about to walk into a den of vipers and my parents couldn’t bother to tell me.
“It wasn’t something you needed to know until now,” Kellan says. This is how he operates, in secrets—in only sharing what someone needs to know in the moment and hoarding the rest to himself. It’s how he’s kept the city in line all these years.
“How could they blame us for what the Drained do?” I ask after a long pause.
Kellan rubs the back of his neck. “Because our father had a choice to make and a responsibility to our people.”
I frown. “Are you saying that there’s merit to their suspicion?”
Kellan looks to where Henry is fastening the saddlebag to his gelding.
“Mountain Haven was full of our people, too,” I say.
“I know that!” he whispers. “But if that horde came to our gates, they could have torn through the city, getting stronger and stronger as they went. Sometimes you have to sacrifice the few to save the many.”
I am trying so hard to stay calm, but I can barely keep my voice to a whisper. “There were thousands of people at Mountain Haven.”
“There are tens of thousands more here,” he says.
I stare at him. “Surely you’re not okay with that. You knew many of those people.”
He nods to Henry. “Not him, though.”
He’s right, but the way he talks about it like it’s a math equation and not human lives lost irks me.
“So, just to be clear. Ten years ago, our father somehow directed a horde of Drained away from our gates and toward Mountain Haven. For ten years, we believed that horde annihilated them, only to be surprised when they suddenly reemerged seeking a wife for their heir. And now you’re sending me, your sister, who has already married once to protect this family, with a stranger who thinks I killed his sister, in the hopes I can find out what exactly they want?
” My tone is calm, my face placid, but inside my heart is frenzied, slamming against my ribs.
Kellan frowns, his lilac eyes cast down. “Yes. That about sums it up.”
“What if they kill me the moment I arrive? What if they drop me in the forest and let the Drained have me as revenge?” It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him what exactly I’m heading into—a marriage to an unkillable husband—but something stops me.
Some nagging voice in the back of my mind urges me to hold on to my secrets, not out of some misplaced loyalty to Henry so much as a desire to keep hold of valuable information as a form of currency.
Kellan has proven once again how often my family does this to me.
I should learn the lesson they keep teaching me.
The weight of our history is mine alone to bear. My father has slighted the Havenwoods, and it cost them an heir. Perhaps my parents don’t know that the Havenwood heir died. Maybe they assume that Henry always was the heir, or they suspect that the Havenwoods have other children.
Even so, my parents are comfortable sending me into hostile territory, knowing that the Havenwoods might be using me to get their revenge.
I meet my brother’s worried gaze. Kellan is so rational and steady. If he says there’s reason to be concerned, he must have evidence to believe that’s the case, but there’s nothing I can do now but be careful.
He nods at Gaven. “I’ve informed Gaven, but two of you are no match for an entire fort of them.
If things get bad, I’ve shared everything I know about the fort with Gaven.
He’ll share it with you when he has a chance, but you should also try to find out more from Henry.
Be smart and do what you must to survive. ”
Kellan kisses my cheek and pulls away. He takes one last look at me before turning away and striding back toward North Hold.
I watch him go as Gaven steps up beside me. “I’ve guarded you since you were an infant, Harlow, and I haven’t let anyone touch a hair on your head.”
I glare at him. “I think we both know that’s not true.”
He looks away. “I have not let anyone else touch a hair on your head, and I don’t intend to start now, but you have to be wise and hold that sharp tongue of yours. We will be surrounded by enemies, and if you want to do what you set out to do, you must be patient.”
I wave a hand, more because I’m annoyed than because I sense Henry’s approach by his looming aura.
He offers his arm to guide me to a horse, and I take it.
“Does he have a blessing?” Henry asks, glancing at Gaven.