20. Henry #2
My heart thunders, my hands itching to pummel his face to a bloody pulp.
I need to blow off some steam before I do something stupid. Not fucking Miriam on hunt night really messed me up. I am all pent-up energy, and in the absence of a good fuck, I’m aching for a good fight.
Carter’s hand alights on my shoulder. “How hot, Hen?”
The words are like being dunked in cold water.
Holly used to say that all the time when my temper was getting the best of me—a taunt from the level-headed big sister to her raging younger brother.
She was a better fighter—smaller, but quick and clever.
She’d have me losing my mind with frustration in mere minutes.
I can picture her watching me train with someone else and yelling it from the edge of the ring. “How hot, Hen?”
Carter is the only one who says it, because even though Bryce knows it too, he’s more prone to instigating a fight than stopping one.
“I’m sure if you were going to issue a real challenge to me, you would go through the formal channels to do it instead of finding me on my morning run,” I say.
It’s almost impossible to walk away from Stefan.
The only consolation is the simmering rage in his eyes when I remind him that he’s afraid of me.
If he issued a formal challenge, he would have to beat me in a fight, and the Laurence family would take over as ruling family of Mountain Haven.
The only reason Stefan hasn’t done it yet is because he doesn’t think he can. I’m hoping it stays that way.
His ego might tempt him to find out, but I already know. As much as I’d like to put him in his place, there are people I would alienate by killing him.
I step around Stefan and continue down the path at a slow walk until I hear Carter and Bryce behind me.
We walk a few more minutes until we’re certain that Stefan isn’t following us.
The trees become more sparse, opening to the ruins of my mother’s favorite shrine.
Stones lie where they fell the night of the invasion, but the statue of Asher has been righted as if nothing is amiss.
The only sign of the battle is the dried blood staining the Divine’s white marble feet a dark, rusty brown.
Just below the base, an iron handle protrudes from the rocks. It’s almost completely covered in strips of blood-stained fabric. My mother comes here every time she misses Holly. Every time she wants to honor Divine Asher for giving her the power to save one of her children.
The reminder fills me with frustration. I think of Harlow locked in her room.
“She hasn’t shown her face since that dinner and speech. You heard them out there. What will people think?”
“That she’s afraid,” Bryce says.
Carter slaps his arm. “He was speaking rhetorically.”
I glare at Bryce. “A lot of help you’ve been on that front.”
He crosses his arms. “I hardly think it’s my fault that she snuck into hunt night. Plus, it looked like she was enjoying the show to me.”
“Looked like you enjoyed her watching,” I say.
Bryce arches a brow. “You’re being a bit territorial for someone who’s just a job to you.”
“A job or not, she’s still my job.”
“Did you have quality time with Miriam before you were interrupted?” Carter asks.
Bryce barks out a laugh. “Is that what we’re calling it now?”
Carter stares me down. “You know what I mean. You’ve had that look in your eyes and I can’t tell if it’s Harlow or?—”
“It’s nothing,” I snap. “And yes, I took care of my needs—now drop it. You both know how it is. The possessiveness comes with the territory. I wasn’t expecting it to be so bad when I don’t feel anything for her.”
They glance at each other, another unspoken conversation passing between them.
“You need to stop by the recovery room before you go see her. You’re too agitated and you haven’t stopped breathing hard since we left Stefan,” Carter says.
He’s right. My chest is too tight. I tip my head back and draw in a slow, deep breath.
He holds up a placating hand. “It’s normal. We all struggle sometimes.” He winces as he continues. “And Miriam told me you were interrupted and that she didn’t see you again that night.”
“I don’t need you checking on me,” I snap. “I saw someone else.”
Bryce takes a step toward me. “You didn’t, and it’s unlike you to lie.”
The revelation hits me all at once, and I turn away from him, pressing my hands against a tree trunk. “You’ve been following me? ”
“Just since the betrothal was announced,” Carter says. “We were worried that some people might not take it well.”
“I’m the heir of Mountain Haven. I don’t need a Divine-damned babysitter,” I snap.
Carter ignores my anger. “We know. You think you’re all-powerful and indestructible, but you know you’re not. We’re just trying to make sure you get the chance to claim the peace you need.”
I stare down at the muddy ground. It’s easier than looking at the divide between us—the way that Carter and Bryce have healed while I’ve remained fractured.
They’ve moved on from the night the Drained nearly overran the fort, but some days it feels like I’m just taking my first breath after life as I knew it ended.
Like I’m still blinking up at a gray dawn, knowing I’m greeting the first day in a world without my sister—and that it’s my fault she’s gone.
The grief is like an icicle lodged in my sternum. For a moment, I’m too frozen to draw breath.
I tug at the collar of my shirt. I suddenly can’t wait to get out of this sticky linen and into dry clothes. This is not a conversation I want to have now.
“Fine,” I grumble. “I’ll go to the recovery room after I bathe. Crisis averted. Then, I’ll go drag Harlow out of her room and figure out what’s wrong with her.”
Carter speaks first. “You sure you don’t feel anything for her?”
I cock my head to the side. “Annoyance. Frustration. Exasperation.”
Carter bites his lip to keep from grinning. “You’re not normally so ruffled.”
I wave him off. “You’ve been spending too much time with your wife and her romantic notions. It’s unhealthy for a man to be so happy.”
“No one would blame you. She’s as clever as she is beautiful,” Carter says, grinning widely.
I think of the way her eyes lit up when looking at the racks of weapons in the armory. “She’s dangerous and hiding something.” I wipe my hand over my face. “The bodyguard knows something. I just need a clue as to what she’s doing in there?—”
“Ice.”
I snap my head toward Bryce .
“One of the cooks from the kitchen. She’s chatty, you know—after.” He waggles his eyebrows.
I roll my eyes. “Focus, Bryce. What about ice?”
“The cook says with everything that they send up to her room, there’s always water and the bodyguard also requests extra ice,” Bryce says.
“You think she has a fever?” I ask.
Bryce shrugs a shoulder. “The cook didn’t know what Harlow is using it for, just that the tray is always returned with no ice remaining several times a day.”
“Why wouldn’t she tell me if she’s ill?” I ask.
Carter laughs. “Isn’t it obvious? You’ve gone on and on to her about our culture, have you not? Why would she want to appear weak if strength is so important here?”
“But I’m?—”
“A stranger,” Bryce says. “You’re the guy her family is marrying her off to.
She’s hardly a blushing virgin. She’s been married before, for Polm’s sake, but she doesn’t know you.
You were expecting her to be meek and she’s not.
She is justifiably wary, especially now that you know about her favorite… hobby.”
Carter leans forward, elbows resting on his knees, and gives me a hard glare.
“Look, what Bryce is trying and failing to say is that she’s clearly not thrilled.
If you want to drive that wedge between her and her family, that’s the place to start.
Show her something—give her some kind of offering and see what she does with it.
If she’s unwell, you have a very big secret that you could trade for a little bit of trust. She just needs that initial push. ”
I sigh and drag a hand through my hair. Both of them are good enough not to remind me that they both lost something in the attack—that they want vengeance as bad as I do.
Their opportunity to settle a score relies on me winning Harlow over.
I’ve got to stop losing sight of the fact that this is bigger than me.
If I’m too nice too quickly, she won’t trust me. She’s too smart for that—and even so, I feel the weight of her bodyguard’s assessment. I don’t completely understand their relationship, but I can tell she trusts him.
She has secrets to trade, but I have secrets too. This is a huge risk, but if she’s actually hurting, it could do wonders to warm our relationship. “You’re right. I’ll show her the Mountain Well.”
T wo hours later, after a bath, a meal, and some quiet time in the recovery room, I finally feel up for confronting Harlow.
Unfortunately, when I turn down the hallway, Gaven is still standing guard outside her room.
“Miss Carrenwell is deep in pre-wedding prayer and meditation.”
It’s a credit to the bodyguard that he keeps a straight face while saying it.
It makes me even more eager to kill him.
I’ve been thinking about it since the moment we left Lunameade.
I had hoped that the journey across the Drained Wood would take care of Gaven, but he’s made of surprisingly hearty stuff. I’m going to have to do it myself.
“Neither of us believes that,” I say. “The wedding is tomorrow. I’m done waiting around. I need to speak with her.”
Gaven crosses his arms. “It would bring about ill regard from the Divine to interrupt her now.”
I knew he was going to be a problem when he survived the Drained Wood, but the longer he makes himself an obstruction, the more I wonder how exactly he survived that horde of Drained without any magic.
“Whatever ails her, I have the solution,” I say.
He frowns. “She doesn’t need a healer or I would have already called for you.”