Chapter 28 Eveera
Eveera
"I thought we were done coming here." Axel's scent overwhelms my senses as he drops down onto the cold ground beside me.
I let out a strangled laugh and drag my finger along the dirt in circles. "I'm about to do exactly what my parents did."
"I know." He breathes, his palm covering the top of my hand, stopping the incessant circles.
"They let people in — they did that, and it cost them their lives." My voice cracks as I allow him to intertwine our fingers fully. "They trusted Vellarans, and I-I'm married to one."
Axel tugs on my hand, forcing me to look over at him fully, "don't do that. Don't confuse Rorin with his parents, that's unfair even for you."
The pressure in my chest builds, and I drag my attention back to that bleeding split in the road. "I already cost the most important person in my life theirs."
"E…"
"NO!" I rip my hand from his and push up off the ground, whirling on him. "This was an idiotic plan. I never should have proposed it, I-I—"
"It's not your fault, Eveera."
My vision blurs with my tears, burning the backs of my eyes, “yes, it is!"
"Our deaths are not your fault."
"I should have protected you better!" I cry, my body collapsing forward into his chest, his strong arms wrapping around me.
Axel shushes softly into my hair, his rough palm brushing down the wild curls springing from my head. "It was our job to protect you — it was our oath. An oath I will break — even in death — if I find you searching for me here again."
My breath hitches, and I look up at him through my thick lashes, meeting his stern expression. "It's the only place I know I'll find you… I-I can't lose you again, I won't be able to bear it."
"You have a kingdom to run, and that does not include you offing yourself or driving yourself to madness so that you can spend time with me. Find me in other places, E. I'm in so many other places."
I can feel my body shaking, but Axel's hands haven't moved. The shaking turns to pulling and—
"Eveera… please. Wake up…" My eyes snap open, and I look up to Rorin desperately, my face growing hot as I feel another wave of tears coming on. Without question, he grabs hold of me, folding me into his chest, while the sobs steal the air from my lungs. "Breathe, Nightmare. Breathe."
I dig my nails into his skin, trying to ground myself.
One… two… three… four… This is ridiculous.
Pathetic, Eveera. My conscience chides as I choke down the rest of my cries.
"When will these dreams end?" I hear him grumble, and a weight sinks inside my chest. The pad of his thumb strokes down my cheek, wiping away the residue until it slides underneath my chin, tipping my face towards him. "What was that?"
"It's my fault."
"What is, beloved?"He whispers, his dark brows scrunching together and his eyes growing softer.
I can't take it.
I push against his chest, tearing out of his hold, to sit upright. "EVERYTHING! All of it! My mother, Axel, Orem, and Max."
Rorin rises onto his knees, his hands ghosting down the sides of my arms, “what are you talking about?"
"Their deaths, Rorin! I killed them… I-I–"
"Oh, Nightmare…"
I shake my head back and forth, not having the patience to hear his gentle platitudes, "don't, DON'T!"
"Eveera, you didn't kill them."
"Yes, yes, I did."
He locks his fingers behind my head and growls, "look at me, Eveera. Look at me!" His stare is noticeably less soft now; in fact, he looks angry with me. "There are two people responsible for that, but neither of them is you."
"Ha! Two people whom I'm preparing to invite to this court – into our home!"
"You're inviting them into a place where you have the upper hand. They're power-hungry sycophants — my father, who selfishly bought himself an army with the blood of his people, and Baelor, who has been working his way through the realm like a disease."
I blow out a breath, my shoulders slumping forward, "you're not helping."
"What I'm trying to say is that they're easily distracted. We have something Baelor desperately wants back, and once he knows that, he'll have no other option than to act on our terms."
"And your father? We have nothing that he wants."
Rorin snorts, his hazel eyes rolling back into his head, "Please. My father wants the security of Hadar's Guards; he'll be trailing after him like a mutt on a scent. You want him dead, and Baelor has no need for a spare king — I don't really think he'll be much of an issue."
I pull my bottom lip between my teeth and bite at the split skin there. Through my lashes, I watch as Rorin's hand moves, reaching up to brush a stray curl behind my ear. His finger trails down my cheek, and absentmindedly, I lean into it.
He sighs, “from the moment I met you, Eveera, you have never allowed your fear to rule over you. Not your mind or your Wield. Why now?"
A weak, defeated laugh slips past my lips, and he pulls me into his lap, his chin dropping down on top of my head as I settle in the crook against his collarbone.
"I've never felt so helpless, so useless, as I did when Ezra had me.” He tenses at the name, squeezing his arms tighter around my body, "I thought once the shackles were off that that would disappear, but I'm here and… "
"And?"
"And I feel like a stranger in my own home."
Before you enter a battle, there’s a brief moment where you feel invincible — as if nothing can really touch you. Then the battle begins, and you realize that your skin is no stronger than paper, your bones no harder to break than glass, and a sword can cut you down just as easily as anyone else.
Now, as I sit here on my throne waiting for our guests to be brought in, I feel as vulnerable as I do in battle.
The Consul arrived today through the portals, and tomorrow he’ll be joined by the leaders from each Vast clan. The only royal we haven't received word from is King Eloden, and judging by what I know? Rorin’s dealings while on his soil may have already cost us the alliance.
THUNK! THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!
One. Greet, discuss, get them to sign, and kick them out. Two. Greet, discuss, get them to sign, and kick them out. Three…
“Eveera—” Felix’s voice cuts through my mantra, and I lift my head to see him looking down urgently. “They’re waiting.”
Oh, shit.
Quickly, I motion for the guards to open the doors, the heavy wood groaning loudly as they do so. No going back now. I think to myself, flexing my hands in and out before setting them back down on the edge of my armrests.
“PRESENTING THE CONSUL GENERAL OF SURAM, GENERAL IMIR AND HIS COMPANION, CAZ RAHAL.”
Armond and Bennett walk in first, leading the men all the way to the bottom of my dais.
"Gentlemen," Felix throws his arms out, a grin spreading across his cheeks, "welcome to the Court of Oriya."
The General and Caz each dip their chin in reverence to him first, and I feel my chest tighten as their heads slowly swing to look at Rorin and me next.
"Remember who you are — you're the queen of Obsidian. Do not be afraid to show them what that means.” Vada growls into my mind.
General Imir climbs onto the bottom step, clasping his hands behind his back, “I’ll admit…
I was surprised to receive the invitation.
Surprised to hear that the Queen of Obsidian had requested an audience with me.
Though I guess an invitation was warranted after allowing you to use our portal some weeks ago. "
Caz's expression goes from focused to mortified in an instant at the general's boldness. I tilt my head, looking over the strange man, while trying to find the right words, when Rorin speaks up, “we cannot express our gratitude enough for that favor."
"Regrettable circumstances, of course — your time in Sabel."
My stomach drops at the reminder, remember you want their assistance…
my conscience chides, while I squash down the magic buzzing underneath my skin.
"I've grown tired of this room," I announce, pushing up and out of my seat.
"Court formalities are a bore in my opinion, especially when we've much more important things to discuss. "
General Imir's dark eyes spark at the insinuation, and Felix steps off the dais, motioning for the two of them to follow him. I hold my composure until the second the heavy doors close. My shoulders slump forward, and my hands find their way to my temples.
"You did well," Rorin compliments, his coarse palms dropping down onto my exposed shoulders, rubbing up and down.
"That was only the first five minutes.” I groan, stepping heavily down the steps. “We have days of this and by the end of it — I'm sure you'll be eating those words."
The two of us slip into the narrow passageway, following its winds and weaves all the way down until we reach the door that leads into my council room.
A few feet shy of it, my feet come to a halt, the scars on my wrist beginning to itch while my self-doubt creeps in again.
I feel Rorin’s chest brush against my exposed back, and I swallow thickly, his scent wrapping around me.
"Nightmare?" He brushes his cool fingers down the column of my neck, moving the curls out of his way to clasp his palms around the tops of my shoulders.
My eyes flick to the ceiling, wanting to fight the urge to sink into him, but I fail, my head dropping back.
One… two… three… four…
"We don't have to do this—"
I spin around, jabbing my finger into his sternum, "it's too late! You are the reason I have to do this." I hiss, emphasizing my point, with each stab, until he’s backed against the wall.
"I know." He admits quietly.
"What if my plan fails?"
He grabs hold of my wrists and pulls me towards him, "We'll handle it."
"I've let them into my home, Rorin," I repeat for the hundredth time, my voice muffled in his shirt.
He nods and quietly shushes me, smoothing my hair down. "We'll ruin them before they can take anything more from you."
"What if we all die?"
"You've never feared death."
"Not my own— but—"
His hands cup my face, and he leans in, grazing a kiss against my forehead. "If everyone dies than you can blame me – even in the afterlife."
"This all would have been much easier if I had never met you."
I peer up at him through my lashes, a sad smile tipping up at the corner of his lips, "I know, beloved, I know." He whispers, lowering his mouth to mine, gently capturing my lips. My body melts further into his, the two of us fusing as the kiss goes from soft – to feverish and desperate.
Rorin drops his right hand from my face to fist the fabric of my dress.
With his opposite hand, he grabs hold of my hip and surges forward, propelling us across the short distance to push me against the other wall.
Swollen lips abandon swollen lips as he kisses down my neck and– "Fuckk…"
He flicks his tongue across the sensitive skin there, mirroring the moan with approval, and I angle my head back, giving him more access. Rorin fits his left hand underneath my jaw, tracing the ink along my shoulder and neck with his lips until they reach mine again.
Heat spreads between my legs, and I loose a small amount of my Wield, spearing through the buttons of his shirt.
He lets out a gasp at the cool air hitting his skin while I push at the two sides of the fabric, exposing more of his chest to me.
I press my mouth down over his heart, feeling the beat race beneath my lips, our ragged breaths filling the small space.
"Damn woman." He growls, watching my fingers inch lower until I pop the button holding together the only piece of fabric between my hand and him. His hazel eyes darken, and the muscle in his jaw tenses. “As much as I enjoy being your plaything, my sweet Nightmare, this will have to wait."
“You're not serious." I sputter — the heat that's pooled is turning quickly to ice.
"Unfortunately, I am."
I shove him backwards, putting some distance between the two of us as I look at the disheveled state of us. "We look ridiculous." I snap.
His eyes glint with mischief, and my mouth turns down in a frown.
"But you feel better now, don't you?" I feel frustrated, you bloody asshole.
I think bitterly, smoothing down the fabric of my skirts and shooting him a sharp glare.
"Don't worry — we're newlyweds. A tryst in the secret halls of the castle is to be expected. "