chapter thirty-nine #2
He let go of my neck, blood dripping down his chin as he licked over the wound, pulling me up into his lap as he sat back on his heels. He shoved my hips forcefully down on his thick cock.
I shouted and threw my head back, steadying myself as I dug my nails into his shoulders, my hips grinding against him.
It was like I was chasing a high, wanting to be completely submerged in him, no matter the risk of drowning.
I craved to be filled with him in every place I could, wanting more and more of it.
Before I knew it, I was taking in his full length.
“How does it feel?” He mocked my tone from earlier. “Describe it to me.”
“ H-hot ,” I stuttered. “ I’m burning. ”
“What else?” he murmured into my ear, forcing my hips down again.
I let out a lustful sob, dragging my nails across his skin.
“Don’t say that it hurts. I know that’s not what you feel,” he crooned.
My mouth hung open, but I failed to produce any answer. It was hard enough to form thoughts. It was cruel to ask me to think at a moment like this. I rested my forehead against his, giving up on finding my voice.
He let himself slide out, lifting me up and flipping me on all fours. He lined the tip of his cock up with my entrance once more, but stayed perfectly still. “Beg for it.”
I glared over my shoulder. I lowered my torso so my face was touching the ground, pushing my hips back on him.
He pulled it away again.
“Uh-uh! You should know better than anyone how we ask for things.” He smirked. “I want to hear you beg.”
“ Please ,” I pleaded. “ Please , I…need it inside. I feel so empty ,” I whined, glancing over my shoulder from the floor. “I want to lose my voice by the time I’m done screaming your name.”
There was a psychotic glint in his eye. He had been waiting for this, to see me like a cat in heat.
This was exactly what he meant when he said he wanted to possess everything.
The last thing was my damned mind as he drove me off the cliffs of insanity.
I did not care as long as he gave me what I craved.
He failed to hold back any longer, thrusting his length fully into me, the position letting him reach deeper than I thought possible, and my relaxed state welcomed it to the hilt.
I flinched and gripped the fur blanket on the ground before me to keep from heaving forward from the force.
He thrusted with such vigor, it made me question whether or not it was possible to bruise the inside of my body. His rippled body towered over me, turning me into a panting puddle on the floor.
I feared his voracity would make me melt in more ways than one.
He hit that deep, hidden spot over and over as my body became numb from pleasure. All I could feel was him. Every thrust, touch, and grab. Every sensation made me lose my mind further. The sounds that came from my mouth surprised me, as I had never heard such vile noises in my life.
He turned me over, wrapping my legs around his waist. His face looked flustered but determined. One might assume that he looked like he was still holding back.
Not if I could help it.
My hips rolled into him, and I moaned, letting my mouth drop open to say something, but the only thing I could manage was his name.
His movements got rougher, hungrier, and desperate. He was coming close.
I could feel it.
His full length slammed deep inside me, all the way to the hilt. A smirk slipped across my lips as I moved my hips against him, meeting his movements. My eyes met his briefly, begging him for more.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he said breathlessly, his skin glistening in the warmth. “I won’t be able to stop.”
I gave him a drunken smile, high from venom and lust. “Then don’t,” I moaned, making sure to meet his gaze as I gripped one of my breasts, using my other hand to touch myself above the place he was penetrating.
His breathing picked up, and he thrust harder, lifting my hips to penetrate deeper.
“ Silas! ” I yelped, my legs gripping around his waist and clenching my eyes shut.
He leaned over me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
With one final shove, he pushed as far into me as he could, holding my body down so I couldn’t squirm away.
An acute pain pricked the inside of my vaginal wall.
“ Stop! ” I cried instinctually, but the pain faded as fast as it came. All I could feel was a periodic throbbing of his cock, and the feeling of his hot cum dripping out.
My breathing came quick, unaware of how much energy I had used for this endeavor, our chests rising and falling against one another.
His embrace tightened as he hid his face in my neck.
“You…”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, kissing the skin on my shoulder and up to my neck, his fingers tangling in my hair and keeping me in place, pushing his hips firmly into mine.
“You said you wouldn’t,” I breathed.
“ I lied ,” he said lowly.
“Why?”
“Because you are mine.” Clicking bloomed in his throat like a purr, his cock still pulsing inside me. He leaned away to meet my gaze. The air around us was intoxicating. My consciousness swirled in a dizzy spell.
I had a hard time keeping eye contact. He grabbed my face and made me look at him.
“You said they were supposed to be for your?—”
“Mate,” he finished, resting his head against mine.
“But I’m?—”
“You are now.” He gave a satisfied hum.
“Since when ?”
“Since I said so .”
“And when was that?”
“The moment you tried to poison me. The first time. I think the choice is fitting.”
“You were serious about that bloodline quip?”
“What reason would I have to joke?” He chuckled. “Though as much as it would delight me to introduce you to my bloodline, we both know that wouldn’t work, scientifically speaking .”
“Then what is the point of such a gesture?”
“So your body knows its place.”
He switched our positions so that I lay on top of him, my hips still straddling his, waiting for his spines to retract from inside me. I peered down and saw small amounts of crimson mixing with the semen that pooled out.
“What did I say about looking?” He grabbed my chin.
“How long until they let go?”
“Thirty minutes. An hour maybe.”
“An hour? No wonder you never use them. Who would want to be stuck with you for an hour ?”
A chill shot through my spine the more I thought about the pain, the memory of it fading quickly from my mind and being replaced with a vehemence more intense than the last. It was like I’d drunk laudanum ten times over the recommended amount.
Morphine paled in comparison to whatever was in those spines.
He pulled one of the fur blankets over us and held me close. The fire cracked and snapped, dying down to a simple glow of embers.
Was he insane? Is this why he wanted permission?
While it was a bit of a blind side, I was flattered.
It was humbling for a creature who’d spent all his life with no interest in this sort of thing just to choose me, the woman who had tried to kill him on multiple occasions.
Maybe that was why he liked me. I couldn’t be sure.
All I could focus on was the warmth of his body and his hands holding my waist as I faded into the sweetness of the night.
I sat in the bay window of my old bedroom, the stained glass propped open so I could see out into the front yard.
A long dirt trail extended far into the fog, lined with thin trees along the path.
The air smelled like snow. Winter was nearing fast. By now, every blossom must have died in my greenhouse as well as my pink hydrangeas.
“What bothers you at the witching hour?” Silas’s deep, barely awake voice whispered, slipping behind me in the bay window nook to cradle me from behind.
“Everything.”
“Have the ghosts been bothering you?”
“Just one.”
“Hopefully it is I that you refer to.”
“Unfortunately not.”
“Tell me.”
“I spent an entire year here, alone,” I told him. “It is bringing back some unfavorable memories.”
“Is this where your accident happened?”
I looked over my shoulder at him with tired eyes. “What do you mean?”
“You said you made a mistake. One that haunts you. It does not take brilliance to piece together that it happened where you locked yourself in exile.”
“Why would you assume that?”
“Because you punish yourself when you do wrong or see it. I’ve watched you do it. Your exile was your punishment to yourself.”
“I do not.”
“Lie to me all you like, but please do not lie to yourself,” he mumbled, tucking some loose tendrils of hair behind my ear. He leaned back against the nook, wrapping his arms around my waist as I sat between his legs. He kissed the back of my neck sweetly. “Now tell me about it.”
“It was a mistake. It wasn’t the right time.” I picked at my nails.
“Speak directly.” He placed his palms over my hands and intertwined our fingers to negate the fidgeting.
“I poisoned my father’s assistant.” I hesitated.
“Why was that?”
“Issac lived with us while my father studied out here. It is closer to Oxford. That is where his assistant worked. They were studying something new. My father didn’t talk much about it,” I began, and he let me take my time with it.
“I slept upstairs, he took a spare, and my father took his own room.” I gulped.
“It was too late. I feel I acted too slowly. I was too unaware, not vigilant enough. I should have woken up before. I don’t know why I didn’t.
I wish I hadn’t woken up that time. I almost feel that it would have been better, less damage not to know. ” My voice wavered.
“Alina.” Silas’s voice rang low. “What did he do to you?”
“I woke up. I didn’t tell my father, but I should have. I don’t know if he would have believed me. I convinced myself that it could have been a dream, that it was my own manifestation and maybe I wanted it?—”
Silas turned me around, grabbing my face with both hands so that he could see my eyes, which must have been pink and glassy. “Did he touch you?”
“He had me that night while I slept, and the night before, and the one before that, for who knows how long.” I shook under Silas’s grasp. “I put arsenic in the wine.” I sobbed.
“Shh…do not cry for him,” he whispered, kissing each tear as it escaped down my cheek.
He pulled me into a tight embrace, pulling my knees up so he could hold me in his lap. I had a hard time calming my breathing. My chest tightened whenever I tried to take in air. The warmest embrace from the coldest creature I knew was my only solace.
“You did what you had to do,” Silas said firmly, kissing my head. “Do not fool yourself into thinking what you did was anything other than necessary.”
I nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face in his chest to hide my shame. His words were encouraging, but they did not shake the deep depression and hate I held for myself for what I did and what my choices led to afterward.