chapter forty-seven #2
I moved sheepishly toward the window and looked out.
I saw a field surrounding the property until it hit the tree line.
Luka walked out the front door with someone while he smoked.
I recognized the other man as Nikolai, his alleged peer .
He spotted me from the corner of his eye and gave me an innocent wave before returning to his conversation.
My face twisted in disgust when I saw him, turning back toward the room.
Snatching a wool blanket neatly folded on the chaise, I wrapped myself in it.
My mind tried to retrace my steps. Where were my clothes?
I needed my purse with the poison in it.
There was no knowing what they were planning, but I could not stay unarmed for long.
I crawled onto the bed, staring at the small cracks in the paint as I tried to think.
What is real? What do I know now?
Viktor’s real name was Luka. Luka was a psychopath for hire.
Silas and Phoebe were siblings. Phoebe had been a Vipera this whole time, though she was young.
I was being added to a collection of Hosts in a Nest. I was at a Nest now.
I was in the countryside. I was at one of Mr. Aston’s properties, who was also their father.
Mr. Aston had also been grooming me to prepare me for this fate, either out of mercy or malice.
I groaned and gripped my throbbing head. This was all a lot for me to absorb, but I was trying my best to screw my head on straight before I had to face it head-on.
The only thing that kept me comfortable was knowing that they weren’t going to kill me based on what Luka had explained, though that did not mean they would not take turns breaking me. The worst part was that everyone I thought would look for me I could not trust to come for me at all.
Everyone I knew had been keeping things from me.
I did not know any of these people anymore.
While the situation was less than ideal, the mattress was expensive and I slept better than the dead.
I had been asleep from the minute they left me alone until the next morning, embracing sleep as the depression wrapped around my limbs and sucked all the energy out of me.
It was useless to ignore the helpless feeling.
My wick was extinguished at the end of my metaphorical candle—no more wax to burn.
I might as well use the opportunity to rest.
As I lay there quietly, the maids came in and out to collect the uneaten trays of food. I never moved from my spot on the bed, and the maids did not disturb me.
A sharp sting suddenly bloomed on my wounded shoulder, and I whipped around, snagging the pale hand.
She yelped at the sudden movement.
“Phoebe.” My eyes widened.
“Alina—”
“What have you done?” My expression twisted painfully.
She avoided my gaze.
I yanked her arm to pull her toward me. “Did you hear me?” I shouted.
She looked pathetic. Like a dog that was caught doing something she was not supposed to.
How weak could she be to let them do something like this?
After everything I had done for her, she could not find it in her to trust me?
To tell me the truth? My emotions were getting the best of me, but I had less empathy for her now. I squeezed her wrist tighter.
“Y-you’re hurting me,” she said tightly.
“Good. You deserve it,” I sneered. “Since you think yourself so capable that you neglected to warn me of any real danger, you are going to get me out.” My words cut like a cold blade.
I could feel her holding back her judgment.
“I can’t,” she whispered, having difficulty looking at me.
“What do you mean you can’t?” I hissed at her, sitting up.
“I don’t know what to do. They’re watching. Listening,” she said quietly, and looked at me sympathetically.
“I need you to find my purse.” I leaned close and spoke lowly.
“You’re worried about your purse right now?”
“No, I have something inside it. Small glass tubes a half-inch long,” I instructed, showing her the size between my fingers.
“All right, fine. I can try. I don’t know where they put it?—”
“Figure it out,” I snapped, throwing her wrist back at her.
“Alina,” she began, “you can’t pretend I was the only one keeping secrets.”
“Don’t think for a moment that Silas isn’t going to find a knife in his chest when I get my hands on him. Rest assured.”
“I am not speaking of him.” She frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me you were a poisoner?”
“For the same reason you didn’t tell me you were one of those things . Or that Silas is your brother!”
“ Half brother,” she corrected. Her eyes found the bruised bite mark on my shoulder. “I could have helped you.”
“You’re going to help me now. That’s the least you can do after what you’ve done.”
She wanted to protest, but didn’t. The tension between us was thick, like chilled tallow.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me? Do you think so low of me that I couldn’t be trusted?” I asked.
“Alina, I didn’t know.”
“We have known each other for as long as we could retain memories. How could this have never come up?”
“I was told that you would abandon me if I did. Father said that it was for your safety.” Her lip quivered. “He said if I told you, you would be hurt, and it would be entirely my fault. It was too late to tell you by the time we were older.”
“I would have listened.”
“I know you would have.” She sighed. “But you were too important to risk losing. I thought I wasn’t hurting anyone by keeping it to myself.
” She took my hands in hers. “You must understand, because of Silas, I was not allowed to have friends outside the Nest—I didn’t even live in the Nest full-time.
I begged Father for just one friend, and he allowed me to see you.
I couldn’t lose you. You are all I have. ”
I could see it in her eyes, but her shame was too great, and it pushed down everything she wanted to say to me. My arms wrapped around her, and she squeezed me back. The wet tears landed on my shoulder, and she sniffled. “I am so sorry, Alina. It was never supposed to end like this.”
“I know, I believe you,” I said softly, holding her tight.
“We will get out together. Start over. Get far away from here.” It was impossible to stay angry at her.
I would not admit it out loud, but we’d kept our secrets for similar reasons.
Everything I did was to protect her and those like her, the lighthearted good of the world.
She quietly got up after a while and let me go. “I will be back once I figure out where your things are. Just…don’t draw attention to yourself for now.” She approached the door. She looked back at me before she closed the door behind her.
Sleep was not something I was able to turn to after that.
Picking at my nails again, I assembled a plan in my head.
My only weapon was poison, which might or might not be as effective.
Did I have to poison everyone to get out of this mess?
Could Phoebe arrange for us to run? I had to think, but it was impossible to do on an empty stomach, and I was running on what was left of my adrenaline.
My mood was becoming irate. I was coming off of my newest self-medication, which might not have been the wisest choice, not that I could have anticipated my current situation. Another thing I would not have done if I’d known the bigger picture.