Chapter 8
Devon and Charlie both hit the ground running in their respective lives when they got home.
Charlie was acquiring more restaurants in half a dozen cities, mostly in the Southwest and Midwest, nowhere near New York.
He was racing from one city to another to look at restaurants, to open some and close others.
He had bought another company that summer, and was absorbing it into his operation.
He was thinking about taking the company public.
He had held on to it for a long time, much longer than he’d planned, as it continued to grow exponentially.
It was worth several billion dollars now, and it was time to either take it public or sell it.
There were advantages and downsides to both and he was weighing it carefully with his financial advisors.
It was hard explaining to Devon what he did every day, and why he was running from one meeting to the next, in cities across the country, with video conference meetings in between.
He’d never been busier in his life. And to anyone outside the company, none of it was very interesting.
It was all about the mechanics of his business.
It was hard to mesh with her schedule, in another time zone.
By the time Charlie got free at the end of his day, Devon was asleep in New York.
And by the time he got up in the morning, she was already deep in her sittings with her subjects, and couldn’t be interrupted.
It was the struggle any two people would have had with big careers on opposite coasts, whatever their issues.
Because of the time difference and their schedules, most of their communication was by text, which was like eating a handful of pretzels or peanuts instead of dinner.
He was always rushing to the next meeting, or she was in a sitting, deep in concentration, communicating with her subject in an intensely focused way.
It was harder than either had expected, but they doggedly persisted in writing to each other daily and playing phone tag.
It was highly unsatisfactory, but neither of them dared to complain, for fear of upsetting the other.
And there was no end in sight. The only clear time they would have together was sitting for his portrait in January.
Charlie had thought he would be able to steal a few days to fly back to see her, but he was hit with an avalanche of work, travel, and important decisions to make in September, and October was worse, although he made a real effort to contact her daily, and had been faithful about it.
He even worked on the weekends, and so did she.
She had a heavy schedule, which was mostly dependent on the overcrowded calendars of her subjects, and she had to accommodate them.
When she read through them sometimes at night, their texts to each other read like fortune cookies.
The only homage he still paid to his marriage was spending holidays with Faye and Liam, like Thanksgiving and Christmas, which Devon always spent alone, working, which lessened the pain of having no family to spend them with.
Spending holidays with friends, which she had tried a few times over the years, only shone a spotlight on her losses, and the family she no longer had.
Working during the holidays was easier. Liam was planning to come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, so Charlie would have to be in Atherton with him and Faye.
As busy as Charlie was, it made Devon wonder how they were going to manage in future, living in separate cities at opposite ends of the country.
They had the long-distance factor to deal with, and the fact that he was married.
The only time he took off all year was in the summer in the Hamptons.
She had benefited from the only leisure time he had.
He had built a life over the years that sealed everyone out, and allowed him to function like a machine.
He loved Devon, and he missed her and wanted to see her, but he was also terrified of the closeness she represented that he wasn’t sure he could handle.
He was tormented by it constantly, pulled in opposite directions, wanting and needing her, but afraid to become dependent on her and vulnerable.
His schedule kept him safe from becoming too involved in her life.
It was frustrating for both of them, and he was short-tempered and on edge, which he’d never been before to that degree.
In the past he might have been irascible for a few days during a difficult deal.
Now he had a short fuse all the time. Even Faye had noticed it, as little as she saw of him.
His usual good humor and even disposition had vanished since he’d come home from the Hamptons.
Faye, on the other hand, had been happy and relaxed since her two months of downtime in Aspen.
Charlie and Faye ran into each other like people who knew each other meeting at an airport, one Sunday night when he’d had Zoom meetings all day with his offices in Phoenix, Denver, and Atlanta.
They hadn’t gone as he wanted, and he was in a foul mood when he and Faye collided in the kitchen, to find something to eat in a nearly empty refrigerator.
The housekeeper had been sick all week and Faye didn’t do grocery shopping.
She just ordered in takeout if there was nothing in the fridge.
Charlie had just carved out some time to call Devon, who was probably sound asleep.
It had gone to voicemail for the second time in two days.
She’d been working all weekend to finish a portrait and was drained.
Charlie was staring into the refrigerator, looking annoyed, when Faye walked into the kitchen with a Caesar salad that had just been delivered from her favorite restaurant in Palo Alto.
“Doesn’t anybody buy food in this house anymore?” he snapped, “or do we no longer live here?”
Faye noticed the bad mood but didn’t react. “Jenny’s been out sick all week.”
“And buying food is no longer in your job description?”
“I’m management.” She grinned at him good-naturedly.
“I just ordered a salad from Benito’s. I’ll split it with you.
” She took out a plate for him, and divided the salad evenly between them.
There was plenty for both of them. She handed him the plate and they both sat down at the kitchen table.
Gone were the days when Liam was small and they had shared family meals.
It hadn’t lasted long. They were never home at the same time, and when they were, Liam preferred eating in front of the TV to sitting between two warring parents.
It was a relief to all of them when they’d stopped.
And in his teens, Liam had eaten almost every night with one of his friends’ families, which made it easier for his parents.
“What’s with you these days?” Faye asked him blandly. “You’ve been a bear since the summer.” He stopped and thought about it, was about to deny it, and looked sheepish. He had been. His questions and fears about the relationship with Devon were tearing him apart.
“I’ve got too much going on, four acquisitions at opposite ends of the country. I think I want to sell, but we have to get things cleaned up if I go that route. Or an IPO.”
“You thrive on that stuff. So what’s really eating you?
” She was like an old friend now, who knew him well.
There was no acrimony left in their relationship.
It was just a matter of real estate, and the boardinghouse he stayed at between trips.
Devon kept asking him why he couldn’t make a detour to New York for a day or two on one of his trips.
There was always a reason why he hadn’t seen her in almost two months, and had to get back to California for the next meeting.
All of the reasons he gave her were valid and plausible.
She missed him, but didn’t complain. She had a strong work ethic, so she respected his.
But his motives weren’t entirely pure and he knew it.
There was fear in the mix too. He wondered if Faye could guess that he was involved with someone else.
“Are you feeling okay?” she persisted. “Maybe you should see a doctor. A lot of illnesses start with irritability,” she said innocently, and he grinned. She was subtle but had gotten the point across. “Like leprosy, for instance. I was reading about it the other day.”
“I don’t know,” he said, hanging his head for a minute.
He had come to realize that he had avoided her for their entire marriage.
He was tempted to do the same with Devon, to avoid getting hurt.
So far he had resisted the urge to run, but the temptation was great, and he had so many excuses not to see her.
He and Faye had done the same thing, and had starved their marriage to death, and he had been part of that.
Faye didn’t need him so she had just given up and moved on emotionally.
But Devon did need him and he knew in his heart of hearts that he was avoiding her.
“Maybe I’m just turning into an old curmudgeon, like my father,” he said, giving himself a hall pass. Faye shook her head.
“That’s never going to happen. You don’t have it in you.
That’s not who you are. You’re a nice guy.
With all due respect—and I liked him for his unvarnished toughness—your father was a genuine sonofabitch.
You’re not.” It was a backhanded compliment and he smiled.
“I think you’re unhappy about something, whether you admit it to yourself or not. ”
“Do you ever still wonder what went wrong with us? Did we do it? Did I? Was it destiny, or just a huge mistake all along, and we didn’t have a chance?” He wondered lately if his fear of being too attached to anyone had been the cause of their failed marriage.