Chapter 11 #3
He put his empty glass in the kitchen, and went to his room.
He was thinking about Devon, not Faye. He wanted to call her and tell her about the divorce.
He called her from the landline in his room, wondering what to say after a month of silence.
He was longing to hear her voice, her smooth, soothing, comforting voice.
And then he thought about what he’d done to her, after their week together.
He had walked out on her again and abandoned her and hurt her again.
He was no different now. The only thing different was that he wouldn’t be married.
It wouldn’t change all the rest. The phone rang three times at her end, and he hung up before she answered.
He didn’t have the heart to call her and say—what?
Merry Christmas? Sorry you’re alone? Guess what, I’m getting divorced?
He felt like a complete heel calling her now.
She was better off without him and his open wounds.
Hers were far deeper than his, and more recent, and he had hurt her again by cutting off all communication.
He felt like a complete sonofabitch. He didn’t deserve her.
He didn’t feel crazy or panicked anymore.
He had calmed down. He just felt sad. He had walked out on the best woman he’d ever known.
She didn’t deserve this. The best thing he could do for her now was leave her alone to get over him in peace.
He loved her enough to do that, as his final gift to her.
—
Faye had already left for Aspen by the time Liam got up the day after Christmas. Charlie was hanging around the house waiting for him when he finally made it to the kitchen, looking slightly hung over, which was reasonable at twenty-two, home for the holidays and out with his friends.
“Did Mom leave?” he asked his father with a yawn, as he poured some milk into a bowl of cereal, and sat down with it, and a cup of coffee.
“Can I make you some eggs?” Charlie offered, and Liam grinned at him sheepishly.
“No, I’m fine. Thanks anyway.”
“Yes, your mom left at the crack of dawn to catch the early flight.”
“Did she say when she’s coming back?” he asked. “I’m going back to Paris in a week.”
“She’s going to be in Aspen for a while. She wants to try working remotely. She’s happy there.”
“That’s interesting. Everyone else is going back to their offices.” Charlie decided that he couldn’t put it off any longer, so he dove in.
“We’re getting divorced,” he said, in one gulp, and waited for what Liam would say. He looked at his father long and hard.
“Are you serious?”
“I am. It was your mom’s idea, but I think she’s right. I didn’t have the guts to do it. She did. It’s long overdue. She says she wants to have a life, and she’s right. We’ve been living in the deep freeze for decades. It hasn’t made sense in years.” Liam’s face broke into a broad smile.
“Congratulations!” he said. “Now you get to have a life too. Are you going to start dating?”
“Eventually. I haven’t lined up any candidates yet. She told me last night.”
“Leave it to Mom to do it on Christmas,” Liam said with a chuckle. “She’s never great on timing.”
“No, she’s not. She wanted to get it off her chest before she left. I’m glad she did. Now we can move forward. She wants to sell the house and I agree with her. It’s way too big for either of us alone.”
“Are you going to get another house?” Liam asked, concerned.
“Yes, a smaller one. Hopefully somewhere around here.”
“Can I have a room?”
“Of course. It’ll be your home too, for whenever you’re here.” Liam looked reassured when he said it.
“This is kind of exciting,” Liam said. He had wanted them to get divorced for years, they were so miserable together. They were nothing, not even a couple. It was much harder to explain to his friends growing up than divorced parents would have been. “Can we still have a pool?”
“I’ll try. It depends what’s available, I haven’t started looking. She just told me fourteen hours ago. I’ll start looking next week.”
Liam went upstairs to get dressed, and Charlie called Adam Stein. He saw Charlie’s name on his caller ID.
“Did you call her?” he asked, sounding excited. He assumed that was why Charlie was calling him, to tell him he had talked to Devon.
“No, I didn’t. I think I’ve regained my sanity.
After walking out on her for a month, and not answering her texts and calls, I figure she’s earned the right to some peace and to forget me.
I did a rotten thing to her, twice. She doesn’t need any more grief from me.
I haven’t heard from her for three weeks. ”
“You’re a coward, Charlie Taylor. And you let her go through Christmas alone. You are a total asshole,” he said, and meant it.
“I plead guilty on that,” Charlie said quietly. He wasn’t proud of what he’d done. He’d panicked.
“You could at least call her and tell her you’re getting divorced,” he said after Charlie told him.
“It’s irrelevant. That wasn’t the problem.”
“It might make a difference to her. It’s not a small thing.”
“I still left her on her own for the last month, after she spoiled me rotten for a week in New York.” Adam hated to hear Charlie give up.
But he could hear it in his voice. He sounded defeated about the relationship with Devon, but relieved about the divorce.
He asked Adam to get the ball rolling after the holidays.
“Well, congrats on that. For ending the longest dead marriage in the history of the world. You’re a free man, or going to be.” Charlie felt lighter than he had in years. But there was a rock in his heart at the same time. He had lost Devon. For good this time. It had to be.