Chapter 5
DREW
Ever since Jackson’s roommate mentioned the school newspaper that day at the diner, I’ve become obsessed with Sarah’s articles in the Berkeley Shore Gazette. This piece about the Ice Queen’s fixation on Gerard last semester is pure gold.
I save the article and read some more. There’s one about the dining hall’s mysterious Meat Surprise Mondays that has me cackling.
Another exposes the underground Pokémon card trading ring in the Economics department.
But it’s her hockey coverage I keep circling back to.
Seeing my name in print, my stats broken down in her sharp analysis, sends a thrill up my spine that I’d never admit to anyone.
“Holy snickers, it’s cold!” Gerard hops from one large bare foot to the other beside me. He’s wearing hot-pink swimming trunks and nothing else. “Is it always this cold at the beach in January?”
“Yes, Gerard,” his boyfriend Elliot deadpans from the bed of my pickup truck.
He’s snuggled under fifteen blankets and is drinking hot chocolate with Alex.
“I warned you a hundred times this week. But did you listen to me? Noooo. Far be it from me to repeat myself that you will soon no longer have a giant penis.”
Alex chokes on his hot chocolate. As for me, I howl with laughter. Because Elliot is absolutely right—the second we jump into the ocean, our penises will become half the size of what we’re used to. The thought horrifies Gerard, if the expression on his face is anything to go by.
“But I love my giant penis!” Gerard wails. “It’s one of my favorite things about me.”
“One of? What are some other things about yourself you favor, G-man?” I ask, even though I know where this is going. Judging by the scowl Elliot throws my way, so does he.
“Well, let’s see. There’s my ass, which is internet-famous, you know.”
“We know,” we all say together.
“And my smile. It melts even the hardest of hearts.” He winks at Elliot, who throws up his middle finger. “And then there’s my charming personality, my unbridled optimism, my—”
“Unbridled?” I snicker. “Where’d you learn that word? On word of the day toilet paper?”
Gerard’s cheeks turn pink, and I laugh again.
“It was a Christmas gift from Elliot,” he mutters.
Oliver bounds over, rubbing his hands together and blowing into them. Kyle, Nathan Paisley, and the rest of the team follow close behind.
“Guys!” Oliver’s massive frame bounces, making his pecs jiggle. “I stuck my big toe in the water, and holy mother of all that is frozen, it’s as arctic as you’d think! My toe instantly went numb. This is going to be epic!”
“Fuck that,” Kyle growls. “I’m all for freezing my dick off for charity, but not every limb. And you”—he points at Alex with the intensity of a mama bear protecting her cub—“are forbidden from even thinking about jumping into that death trap.”
Alex’s delicate features scrunch up. “I-I wasn’t planning on it.
” His voice is barely audible over the wind.
He’s the most soft-spoken guy I know, and it’s a struggle to figure out what he says at times.
“Elliot and I are going to stay right here in Drew’s truck, nice and warm, and watch everyone else reenact the ending of Titanic. ”
“Smart boys,” I say, though my attention gets diverted when Nathan sidles up to Gerard with a mischievous grin.
“You know something, Gerard?” Nathan says, eyes twinkling. “With an ass as big as yours, we won’t need life preservers. If anyone is drowning, all they’ll have to do is grab onto one of your legendary butt cheeks and float their way to safety.”
Before anyone can react, Nathan reaches out and grabs a handful of Gerard’s ass through his swim trunks. He gives it a squeeze that would make a TSA agent blush.
Gerard throws his head back and belts out a booming, infectious laugh that carries across the beach and scares a flock of seagulls. “Nathan, you menace! Hands off the merchandise unless you’re planning to put a ring on it!”
Kyle rolls his eyes hard. “I’m surrounded by children.”
But I’m barely listening because my brain is too busy processing what’s happening.
Nathan takes his hand off Gerard’s ass, but a beat later than he should have.
His eyes track Gerard’s every movement with an intensity that goes beyond friendly interest as Gerard continues bouncing on his feet to stay warm.
Holy. Shit. Nathan has a crush on Gerard.
The signs have been there all along, haven’t they?
Nathan volunteers to be Gerard’s workout partner whenever Elliot is working at the campus library.
He laughs more than any of us at Gerard’s terrible jokes.
He finds excuses to touch him—a pat on the back here, a shoulder squeeze there, or, like now, a slap on the ass while cracking a joke.
I glance at Elliot, and his furrowed brow tells me he’s noticed too. Living in the Hockey House with all of us, thanks to Gerard’s meddling, means he’s had a front-row seat to Nathan’s pining.
Fuck, this is complicated. Nathan’s a good guy.
He’s cheerful, kind, and always the first to lend a hand when someone needs it.
But Gerard is completely, utterly, hopelessly gone for Elliot.
You can see it in the way his face lights up when Elliot enters a room, and in how he unconsciously leans toward him, like a plant seeking light.
And Elliot, for all his grumpiness, is equally smitten. He pretends to be annoyed by Gerard’s enthusiasm, but I’ve caught him smiling softly when he thinks no one is watching.
Poor Nathan. Crushing on someone who’s completely unavailable sucks. I would know; my disaster of a crush on Jackson Monroe is living proof that feelings don’t give a shit about logic or timing. But at least Jackson doesn’t have a boyfriend. He’s just tragically, devastatingly straight.
“Hey, guys!” a voice I know all too well calls out from up the beach.
Glancing in the direction of my best friend’s voice, my heart thuds faster than a monkey playing the bongos.
His hair bounces with each step. His sweatshirt rides up enough to reveal a sliver of toned abs.
I’m going to need a cold shower. No, scratch that.
I’m about to jump into the freezing Atlantic—that should do the trick.
I force my legs to move, meeting him halfway across the sand. Time to crank the Drew Larney charm up to eleven. Nobody needs to know I’m dying inside.
“Jackson!” I throw my arms wide and pull him into one of those bro hugs where you slap each other’s backs hard enough to leave bruises. He smells of coconut shampoo, and it makes my knees weak. “Ready to freeze your balls off for charity?”
“Born ready.” He laughs, and the sound vibrates through his chest into mine before we separate.
Ryan trails behind him. I snort at the fact that he’s wearing dress pants and loafers to the beach. When I open my arms for him, his entire body goes rigid.
“Come on, Ry Guy. Bring it in, buddy.” I wrap him in the same enthusiastic hug while he stands there with his arms pinned to the sides. It’s fucking hilarious. I count to ten and let him go. “There, that wasn’t half bad.”
“It was delightful.” His tone suggests it was anything but.
“Come on, let me introduce you to the rest of the idiots.” I sling one arm around Jackson’s shoulders, doing my best to ignore how perfectly he fits against my side, and the other around Ryan’s.
We approach the group, and I’m about to launch into introductions when Oliver’s entire face transforms. His jaw drops, unhinging itself, and his eyes grow into saucers.
“Oh my God.” The words come out as a gasp. “Ryan? Ryan Abrams?”
Oliver instantly launches himself at Ryan, wrapping the guy into a bear hug that lifts him clean off the sand, loafers and all.
“Oliver…” Ryan’s voice cracks, muffled against Oliver’s massive chest. “I can’t breathe.”
“Holy shit! I can’t believe it’s you!” Oliver sets him down but keeps his hands on Ryan’s shoulders. He’s beaming. “Guys, this is Ryan! We were neighbors back in elementary school.”
“How did I not know this?!” Jackson stares at Ryan, with his hands on his hips, foot tapping on the sand, waiting for an answer. The pose is an image I’m going to be adding to my spank bank because it’s dominant as fuck.
“We lived next door to each other and then…” Oliver continues to explain. “One day, they were there, and the next day…gone. I never got to say goodbye.”
His voice audibly cracks. It’s a noise I’m not used to hearing from the big lug.
That kind of loss when you’re a kid—losing your best friend without warning—that shit stays with you.
It’s probably why he smothers us with love and affection.
He doesn’t want to see us up and leave him without warning.
“We moved to Georgia. Then Florida. Ended up in Virginia my senior year of high school,” Ryan says quietly, fixing his outfit that Oliver wrinkled.
“Man, I missed you so much. Remember how we used to sneak out at night to look at the stars? You had that telescope your grandpa gave you.” Oliver’s eyes shimmer with memories. “Do you still stargaze?”
A blush creeps up Ryan’s neck, and he ducks his head. “I—yes. I still do.”
The soft admission alters the air around us. Even Kyle stops scowling for half a second.
“That’s amazing,” Oliver breathes. His voice holds a tone of reverence I’ve never heard before. “We have a lot to catch up on. How’s Marvin? Is he still obsessed with building models and reading skin mags for the stories?”
“Yes and yes. He’s at MIT.”
“I’m not surprised. That dude’s as much of a genius as you are.
” Oliver turns to the rest of us, still keeping one hand on Ryan’s shoulder, no doubt afraid he’ll disappear again.
“This kid is incredible and scary smart. He knows all the constellations by heart—learned them by the time we were seven. Could probably navigate the galaxy better than most adults.”
I catch Jackson’s eye, and we share a look of mutual bewilderment.
“This is weird,” Gerard whispers loudly to Elliot. “Good weird, but weird.”
“Everything about your friend group is weird,” Elliot responds, watching Oliver and Ryan with interest.
Nathan clears his throat. “So, uh, are we still doing this Polar Bear Plunge thing? Because my nipples are about to fall off.”
“Right! Yes!” Oliver suddenly remembers where we are. “Ryan, you’re not going in, are you? You always hated being cold.”
“Absolutely not. I’m here for moral support and potential medical emergencies.” Ryan adjusts his glasses. “Also, to document Jackson’s inevitable hypothermia.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, roomie,” Jackson salutes with a smile.
Oliver turns to the group. “Okay, boys! Let’s do this! For charity and bragging rights!”
I deliberately do not stare at Jackson’s abs contracting when he takes off his sweatshirt and sucks in a breath.
I don’t observe his back muscles flexing when he hands Ryan his clothes.
I don’t notice his nipples pebbling from the brutally cold wind.
Nope. Not me. I’m completely focused on…Gerard’s jiggling ass as he runs toward the spot where the water meets the shore. Same as Nathan. Same as Elliot.