Chapter 9
It takes all of twelve hours in the brutal Colorado winter, my phone battery hanging on for dear life, and the lack of caffeine on tap for me to suck it up and decide I need to stay somewhere else. I called at least five pest control companies, and about the same number of electricians, whom all are busy and can’t come out for at least a week. That’s not even counting how long it might take to fix it, or if I can even afford it.
I know I should just go stay at a hotel, but I also know that until I know how much this is going to cost me, I shouldn’t waste money. I also consider staying with Chandler because it can’t be that bad, right?
Who am I kidding, it’s going to be bad. Plus, I do need to work. I could never live off the grid. I tried using my phone’s hotspot, which sucked and just drained the battery. Don’t even get me started on how cold it is. I finally, reluctantly sent a text to someone I should stay away from.
Audrey: Does your offer still stand?
With my pride,sanity, and a duffel bag full of stuff in my hands, I knock on the door to the condo that is on the top floor of a very nice building.
And he said he didn’t have a mansion.
Charlie answers the door in slacks and a button up shirt that is unbuttoned near the top because he clearly hasn’t changed since coming home from the game they had tonight. A game I was unable to watch or participate on cam because I have no power. And then I was too busy packing and trying to talk myself out of this.
“Come on in,” he greets, opening the door wider for me.
“Thanks,” I say quietly before taking in the giant penthouse.
It’s modern with a row of windows that look out onto downtown Denver. I bet it’s beautiful here when the sun is out and you can see the picturesque mountains. He has a sectional that takes up a majority of the living room and a large TV. Minimal but I don’t expect any different from a bachelor.
“I’ll show you where the guest room is,” he sounds almost nervous, and with his hand rubbing the back of his neck I feel like he just might be. Maybe he’s realizing this is a dumb idea as well.
He leads me to a room down the hall when he opens the door there is only a queen bed and two nightstands.
“Sorry it’s not much,” he says, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“It’s fine. It’s not like I’m going to be staying here for very long,” I shrug.
“Right. So, I leave on a road trip tomorrow for the next week. Feel free to make yourself at home.”
I nod, “Thank you again.”
Charlie almost looks like he wants to say something else but doesn’t as he just nods back and leaves my temporary room. As awkward as this situation is, maybe it’ll be better to have the time he’s gone to get comfortable here. I sigh looking around the bare room before throwing my bag onto the bed accepting this is my reality for the time being.
I don’t leave the room for the remainder of the night, mostly to avoid more interactions with Charlie. I use the time to update Lacey’s social media and apologize that I haven’t been able to be on, but that I’ll be back tomorrow. It’s going to be a bit more complicated to have a show in here since it’s not really set up to be a cam space, but I’ll just have to make due.
Charlie is gone when I wake up in the morning, at least it seems like it by the silence of the condo. I debate checking his bedroom to be completely sure, but on the off chance he’s still in there I really don’t want to deal with that confrontation.
While I’m making myself a simple breakfast of eggs and toast, my phone rings and I answer Chandler’s facetime.
“Good morning sunshine,” she greets with a smile.
“Good morning,” I reply, propping my phone up so I can continue cooking without having to hold it.
“How’d the first night go? Did you two kiss and make up?” she teases. I told her about the kiss at my house briefly, but mostly brushed it off which she refuses to believe.
I chuckle, “Actually I killed him and have the whole place to myself.”
“I don’t think you’re going to get away with that murder, but I’ll always be your alibi.”
“Did the guys leave for their road trip?”
“Yeah, about an hour ago. Do you want to come over to watch any of the games?”
“Maybe, I was planning on some shows, but I can cancel one because I miss you.”
“Aw, I miss you too,” she puffs her bottom lip out dramatically.
We talk a little longer, catching up and her giving me more shit about how it’s inevitable for more to happen between Charlie and me which I brush off completely. There was one kiss and it’ll never happen again, let alone more. Even if the thought of that one kiss has my head spinning.
By the time we hung up, it made me realize how much I missed living with Chandler. Most people hate having roommates and it ruins friendships, but I swear it made ours stronger.
I realize I forgot to grab some toys for my shows, so I throw on some clothes and head to my house. I check the mail and my PO box on the way because viewers will send me things from my wish list, one of the many job perks. I end up having a couple packages waiting for me and a single letter from my grandma. I scowl at it, debating as always if I should throw it away without reading it or torture myself to see what hatred she’s spewing this time. As always, the curiosity and hope for a good laugh wins out. I bring everything into my freezing townhome to open.
The first is some red lingerie I wanted for the holiday season. It’s mostly lace and sparkles and will barely hide anything which is perfect. The second package I open has a simple note from the sender, which some choose to do, and others choose to remain anonymous. My lips pull into a smile when I see what the note says.
Lacey,
Use this when you want to let me have a little more control.
-Charles
I pull out the packaged toy to see why he says that, and my smile widens. It’s a vibrator that’s controlled with an app and can be used at a distance. I know other girls have them set up so viewers can control it with their tips, but I know Charles wants it controlled by him and only him. That shouldn’t make me as happy as it does, and I try to tamp it down. He’s just a viewer, someone who pays to watch me perform. Just like the rest of them. It means nothing. This means nothing.
Lastly, I open the letter from my grandma. The woman who raised me after my parents lost custody of me when I was six for being horrible people. You’d think I went somewhere better; I was just sent to a different Devil who disguised themselves as a righteous God follower. Isn’t that some shit?
Audrey,
I hope this letter finds you well and that you may consider coming back home. It doesn’t matter what you have done, you can be saved. I want you to be saved. All sins can be forgiven and if you come home, I will help you to cleanse your soul and make room for the Lord once again.
The path you are on now only invites the Devil in, and I don’t want to see my only grandchild being condemned to Hell. I pray for you every night as I always have. I know God will answer my prayers one of these days and steer you back to the right path once again.
With love,
Grandma
I laugh as I do at every letter she sends. All of them say the same shit, different wording. I’ll never go back; she conveniently forgets all the sins she committed toward me because God told her to. Everything she put me through, the control, the isolation. I crumple the letter before tossing it in the garbage.
Erasing the written words from my grandma, I pack up a bag full of toys and outfits I need for shows, including the new one from Charles. I’m hoping he will be on tonight so I can thank him properly. If I’m going to be a sinner and condemned to Hell, I might as well have fun along the way.