Chapter 25
I’m not sure where Audrey and I stand with…really anything. So that makes it especially difficult right now, when I’m sitting alone in my hotel room. I don’t have the notifications for when Audrey goes live anymore, but looking at the app is tempting to check. She’s alone in my condo and this is about the time she would be camming.
Plus, she knows that I know now so it’s not like I would be doing anything wrong. I’m just going to check to see if she’s online. Once I click open the app, she’s the first account that shows up since she’s my most frequently visited. She’s actually the only visited. And she’s online.
I debate with myself for all of five seconds before clicking to join her show. As soon as the video loads, I see that she’s in my living room with toys laid out on the coffee table once again. There are less than she had for me, and I notice the yellow vibrator is not present. I try not to think about that meaning anything more than it does.
She’s lying on the couch, with her head turned toward the camera. The long red hair of the wig is spread out around her and as always, the black lace mask is covering the top half of her face. A gorgeous smile covering the bottom half.
“Hi Charles,” she greets, seeing my name enter the virtual room.
My cock jumps at the idea of us playing our old roles once again. Acting like we don’t know what each other tastes and feels like. We are Lacey and Charles once again.
Charles: Hey pretty girl.
Audrey turns her head so she’s looking up at the ceiling. I take in her body as she lays there, somewhere I had her just a couple days ago. She’s talking about her day, how boring it was and just acting like she’s talking to some friends. Even though she’s laid out in some lingerie I want to rip off her body.
I try to hold back requesting a private call. I really do. I justify it by the fact that she needs the money to fix up her house and she will need to do that and go home eventually. I know she wouldn’t accept me paying for it outright–I’ve considered it–but this is a loophole to that.
Yeah, that’s why I request the private call with her. No other reason.
I watch as the alert must pop up on her end and she bites the corner of her lip to hide a smile as she sits up and leans closer to her computer.
“I’ll be back guys; think about what option we are going to be using tonight while I’m gone. I want to be drunk on orgasms by the end of the night,” she blows a kiss to the camera before accepting my call.
I adjust myself in view of the camera while it loads, and just like her I’m playing the part. I angle my phone so she can only see my bare chest and the waistband of my sweatpants. When the video loads and she can see me, she smiles even wider.
“Well, hi there, Charles,” she draws out my name and I have never liked being called Charles. Not until her.
“Hi, Lacey.”
“What brings you here this evening?” she asks, sitting back on the couch, tucking her legs underneath her.
“Obviously seeing your beautiful self, what else?”
She chuckles, “Are you saying you missed me?”
“And if I am?”
I see her hesitate at that. She wasn’t expecting me to agree and the drop in her character is noticeable. I know I’ve stepped over an invisible line. I was walking a thin one with her lately because she freaked out the other day and I tried to make her feel better, but this isn’t doing that.
She sighs and looks down, brushing off her leg, but I don’t think anything was there.
“Char–” she starts, but I cut her off.
“Lacey,” I bring her back to this moment. Here. As our personas because I know she was about to call me Charlie. “What would be so bad about me missing you?”
“It would mean you are getting attached and I don’t want to hurt you,” she murmurs, not looking at the camera.
“We went over this. I’m a big boy, and you’re not going to hurt me. I know what we are doing and I’m happy with it. Aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I mean, it’s fun. I can’t be your forever.”
“I’m not asking you to be.”
“But you miss me.”
“Are you saying there’s not a single part of you that misses me? Because if not that’s okay, but if you say no then I also know you’re lying.” I want to move the camera so she can see my face, but I won’t. I feel like this may be easier if she can’t see me.
“I mean,” she sighs again, this time in defeat. “Yeah, part of me kind of misses you.”
“See, that’s not so hard, is it?”
“No, I just…I really meant what I said. I don’t do relationships. I can’t.”
“Why? You say that, and that’s fine. But you haven’t told me why.”
“I wouldn’t be good at it. I like my freedom. I like being able to do whatever I want, be whoever I want to be. I don’t want anyone taking that away from me. I had my entire life controlled to the point of suffocation until I was eighteen. I refuse to give anyone that power again.” She doesn’t look up the entire time she speaks. Almost like she can pretend I’m not here.
“I think the right relationship wouldn’t be controlling. Whoever you’re with should build you up, not try to hold you down.”
“Well, I’m not sure if that’s possible and I don’t want to get hurt or hurt anyone while trying to figure it out.” I hear the words she’s not saying. I don’t want to hurt you.
“Listen,” I start, and she finally looks back up to the screen. Even though she can’t see my face she’s looking at me. I’m tempted to move the camera up, but I’m wanting to keep us in this bubble for the duration of this conversation. “I’m not trying to push you for more. I like what we are doing. I want to keep doing it. What about you?”
She nods slowly, “I like what we are doing too.”
“So, let’s not think too much about it. Let’s not freak out and let’s just enjoy what this is, okay?”
Her lips quirk slightly. “Okay.”
“Good. Also, I don’t think it’s controlling for me to say that I can’t stand the thought of another man touching you while we are doing whatever this is,” I think about the night at the club. That asshole’s hands on her. We may not have a label or be exclusive, but I need that out there.
She hesitates before responding and when she does it’s so quiet, I almost miss it, “I don’t want anyone else to touch me anyway.”
We move on from the heavy conversation, now that the air is cleared between us everything turns more playful. I’m keeping her in the call longer than usual, but I don’t want to let her go and she doesn’t seem to be complaining.
Plus, I’m paying and I know she’s making a good chunk of money from me right now, but that’s okay. I would hand over my entire bank account to her if she would accept it.
Because that’s a totally casual, okay with this situation, thought.
“You’re missing a certain vibrator from your selection,” I tease.
She looks down at the table and smirks, “That one I think is only for special occasions.”
“What kind of special occasion and how do I make it happen as soon as possible?”
She giggles and then I get a notification at the top of my screen that has me freezing. It’s a text from the last person I want to hear from. Ever.
Tabitha: Hey, can we meet up to talk sometime?
“Char–Charles?” Audrey calls and it pulls me out of the distraction.
“Yeah, sorry, I got a text, so I missed what you said.”
I catch the disappointment on her face before it’s gone quickly. “Oh, I just asked if you had any requests for the night before I go back to the main show.”
“Just one.”
“What’s that?” She leans in, giving me an ample view of her cleavage and her sly smile makes it known that she did it on purpose.
“When you come tonight, my name might not be on your lips, but I sure as shit better be the one you’re thinking about.”
“I can probably make that happen. Should I think about riding your cock or how you felt from behind while you fucked me within an inch of my life?”
“Whichever will make you come the hardest.”
“Deal.”
I endedup watching the rest of Audrey’s show for the night and completely ignoring Tabitha’s text. Just like I’ve ignored the other ones she’s sent every couple days since she came to my game. I don’t know what she’s trying to do, especially when she thinks I’m with Audrey thanks to what Audrey told her. The thought of it makes me smile because I’m sure it pissed Tabitha off to think someone else is getting the life she wanted.
I don’t get why now she’s deciding to come back into my life. I made it very clear she wasn’t welcome in it and that’s not going to change. Once my trust is broken, it’s gone. What she did showed her true colors and I don’t want anything to do with a person like that.
No, I want…fuck, I want Audrey, but she’s made it clear that’s not going to happen beyond what we have now. So, I’ll take what I can get.
At morning skate, we prepare for our game tonight at the rink we will be playing in. That’s one thing as the away team is that since the home team has their practice arena, we have to practice at the game rink. Even after all these years in the NHL it is crazy to look out and see all the empty seats, knowing they will be filled with people. I rarely appreciate it during the game because I’m so zoned in, but right now while it’s all empty, I take in the reality that this is my life.
I’m checked by my teammate, McQuaid, “What are you daydreaming about, Mann? Hope she’s hot.”
“Doesn’t matter to you. Chandler would have your balls if you ever thought about another woman.”
“My Bunny knows what she gets with me and that she never has to worry.”
“Right,” I roll my eyes at him before skating away.
After practice we all go back to the hotel to do whatever game day rituals we have. Some guys nap, some have certain meals they have to make sure to eat. I think about Audrey and how she has her rituals as well. I’ve seen things written on sticky notes in her bathroom. They are like mantras or something and I consider adopting them for myself.
I’m being ridiculous, especially when I consider calling her and asking what ones I could use for myself. Or just to hear her voice. I am so fucked for her, but I know I have to play it cool.
While I’m thinking about reaching out to her my phone vibrates next to me and I grab it quickly, hoping she somehow knew I was thinking about her and reached out first.
I’m not that lucky, though, because it’s yet another text from Tabitha and I don’t understand what she’s trying to do, but I really wish she would knock it off. I delete it without even looking at it and then finally block her number. I don’t need her and her drama in my life.