Chapter 29
About thirty minutes into our drive and Charlie still hasn’t told me where we are going. At first, I thought we were going to Boulder, but then he didn’t exit where he should’ve so I knew that wasn’t it.
“Can I know where we are going yet?” I beg.
“Not yet,” his lips quirk and I can tell he’s getting off on not telling me.
“How did you find this place if it’s so far?”
“I grew up in Colorado, so I’ve found a lot of random little places over the years, but I’m partial to places that really highlight nature”s beauty.”
“Oo okay, so we are going somewhere naturey,” I nod like that gives me any sort of hint.
“How about I make you a deal.”
I nod, “Already done. What is it?”
“Tell me something real,” he requests.
My lips twist at this. So, instead of giving him something he would want to know I take in a deep breath like I’m going to say something extremely important, “My favorite word is loquacious.”
He sputters out a laugh, “What?”
“I know, crazy right?”
“What does that even mean? And where did you hear it?”
“I looked it up, it means talkative. I heard someone say it when they were talking on the phone at a coffee shop one day and liked how it sounded. Loquacious.”
“Fine, tell me something real about your past. Your family. Give me something, Audrey.”
“I’m good, I’ll find out where we are going eventually.” I turn toward the window to watch the scenery pass by.
Charlie sighs, and I kind of feel bad. Okay, I feel really bad. He’s such a sweet guy and he has opened up to me about his struggles. I’m trying to keep him at arm’s length, but admittedly it’s getting harder and harder every day. Especially after everything that happened last night.
He trusted me in a way he hasn’t trusted anyone before. I can give him a piece of myself in return since it’s not possible to give him everything.
“My grandparents adopted me when I was five. Well, I guess I went to live with them when I was five, the adoption happened a couple years later,” I say reluctantly. Even mentioning them leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
“What happened to your parents?”
I shrug, “Who knows. They were awful, abusive, and the final straw was when my mom tried to sell me for drugs. That’s when I was finally taken and placed with my dad’s parents.”
“What the fuck? Who does that?”
“Pieces of shit. Pretty thankful for your mom now, aren’t ya?” I attempt to joke, but I can tell he’s bothered by what I just shared. “Hey, it’s okay, it’s in the past. I’m fine, obviously. It was just a sprinkle of trauma.”
I chuckle, but he doesn’t, and I know my humor about my past can make some people uncomfortable. But when Charlie reaches over, taking my hand in his and squeezing, I know it’s not that he’s uncomfortable with what I told him. It’s that he’s angry, I can feel the slight shake in his hand and it’s like holding mine is grounding him. I don’t know why that makes me feel those stupid flutters in my stomach again, but there they are.
“I’m sorry you went through that,” he finally says.
“Yeah, well turns out I was placed from one house of horrors to another. But really, I’m fine,” I smile over at him while squeezing his hand.
“Thank you for telling me something.”
“Now it’s your turn. Where are we going?”
This gets him to laugh and I’m thankful the thick air dissipates slightly. “McIntosh Lake, ever been?”
I shake my head, “Nope, you get to take my virginity.”
This earns me a full laugh from him. “So glad I get to be your first,” he winks.
Twenty minutes later we park by the large lake, and I will admit it’s gorgeous here. There’s a mountain in the distance that’s covered in snow, even though where we are it’s surprisingly temperate for being November.
“There’s a path over here to walk around the lake,” Charlie instructs, leading me to the paved area.
We start walking and I’m normally not a huge fan of silence, but the one we find ourselves in is comfortable. There’s a breeze off the water and it feels nice in contrast to the bright sun. Charlie breaks the silence first.
“So, if you aren’t close with any of your family, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?”
I truly hadn’t paid much attention to how close the holiday was since I never really do anything special. Chandler and I have always celebrated unless she goes to see her family in Boston, which is pretty rare.
“Probably nothing. Maybe I’ll go to Chandler’s unless they are doing something with their own families. Or a big orgy, you never know.”
Charlie chokes on a laugh and I smile.
“Well, if you truly have nothing to do then you can come over to my parent’s house. It’s not exciting and I’m sure my mom would be happy to see you again.”
I drop my gaze to watch our feet instead of looking at him. “That’s okay, that seems like a lot,” I murmur.
Charlie stops me with a hand on my arm. “Okay fine. I’m not asking for you, I’m asking for me. If you come then my mom won’t be on me about settling down, or worse try to invite my ex. You’d really be doing me a favor.”
I look up at him, though I think he’s only half telling the truth, I relent anyway. “Okay, fine, I’ll go.”
He smiles, and we keep walking. Holidays with the family are not very in line with our agreed situation, I’m not going to push it.
“Have you ever had a boyfriend?” he asks suddenly, and I’m taken aback.
“Uh, nope.”
“Never? Not even in school? A high school sweetheart or teenage heartbreak?”
“Nope and nope. I wasn’t allowed to date in school.”
“And you actually followed that rule?”
“Believe it or not, I tried to be a good girl at one point,” I shove at his arm with my shoulder.
“So, when did that stop?”
“Hey, I can be a very good girl for you sometimes, if you recall,” I wink at him.
“You can also easily be the opposite,” he retorts.
“Guilty.”
“So now you just take advantage of innocent, nice men that let you stay in their house while yours is infested with creatures?”
I gasp, and shove at his shoulder harder while he laughs. “I remember you practically begging me to stay with you so don’t even get me started. Also, last I checked you’ve very much liked being taken advantage of.”
He looks at me with mirth, eyes shining with humor and the way the sun is reflecting off the water lighting his gorgeous face. I want to scream about how not fair it is for him to be this good looking. Especially looking at me like that.
“Guilty,” he mimics me, right before sliding a hand up the side of my neck, holding me there while pressing a soft kiss to my lips.
Instinctually, I bring my hands up to his chest, gripping his shirt while teasing the seam of his lips with my tongue, taunting him to take it further. He taunts me right back by just barely giving me a swipe of his tongue before pulling back slightly.
I pull on his shirt harder, and he chuckles against my lips before kissing me how I want. Which is borderline indecent for the public, but there’s no one around anyway. His tongue tangles with mine and I let out a low moan at the contact, the feel of him against me. His warm body pressed completely against mine while his lips, tongue, and teeth tease my own.
He pulls back before I’m ready but doesn’t give into my attempts to get him back as he stands to his full height above me.
“You’re distracting, you know that?”
I smirk, “That’s not the first time I’ve been told that. And I didn’t hear you complaining.”
“Oh, I wasn’t, feel free to kiss me any time.”
We begin walking again and when our fingers graze against each other, neither of us pull back.
“Why do you have those sayings written around the bathroom mirror?” Charlie asks, as our fingers brush again.
I suck in a breath as the touch lingers slightly longer this time. “Those are my affirmations. I like to say them at least once a day to have a positive mindset.”
When our hands brush this time, and our fingers tangle slightly together neither of us separates them. We aren’t exactly holding hands, but it’s close.
“I was thinking about them before a game and if I should steal them from you,” he admits.
“If you want you can. Might help you get in the zone or whatever you need before a game.”
“I’ll have to try it and see if I need to add them to my rituals.”
I nod, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
“Hm. Still playing hockey, hopefully have another couple Stanley cups under my belt.”
“You think you’ll stay playing in Denver?”
“I’d love to, but you never know and can get traded at any time depending on your contract. I have a no trade clause for two years, but after my contract is up anything could happen.”
“Where else would you like to play?”
“I think I’d like to play for any Canadian team if I had to pick anywhere else. Or maybe in Washington, it’s gorgeous there.”
I nod in response and for some reason the thought of him having to leave to play for a different team hits me in a way I don’t like.
We are fully holding hands now and I’m not panicking. I’m not rushing to pull apart. I’m not uncomfortable. In fact, I kind of like it and it is only solidifying the feelings that are building inside of me. The ones I keep continuously pushing down. And it’s not even because I’m afraid of getting hurt. What I told Charlie before is true, I don’t want anyone to have the power to control me. But it’s not just that, with him my fear is hurting him.
Because a man like him is too sweet and too good for a woman like me, and I know it’s just a matter of time before I break his heart.