Chapter 4 Roman
Roman
Every fucking part of me hurts. It hurts to breathe.
It hurts to talk. To laugh. It even fucking hurt to jerk off, but I couldn’t not do it with that show they put on for me.
My ribs, my face, my stomach, it’s all nothing but a bundle of oversensitive nerves firing pain signals into my poor brain day and night.
Cleaning my teeth is an ordeal. Just patting my face dry, fuck that hurts.
Around my eye, on the side I fractured my cheekbone, has what I believe must be some minor nerve damage because it tingles whenever I touch it, the way one’s mouth does as it starts to come back to life after a shot of Novocain.
After taking a good ten minutes to do the most basic of self-care tasks, I walk into the bedroom we prepared for Ophelia—and for us, too—to find her already in bed. She must have used the bathroom downstairs.
“Sorry I took so long,” I mumble as if I’m talking through a mouthful of clouds.
“Come here,” she says, patting the empty space on the mattress beside her.
I don’t need to be asked twice. I strip off and climb into bed.
She’s wearing only a t-shirt-style nightdress, and it’s short, with short sleeves too, and I’m naked.
As she snuggles up to me, taking care to be gentle, I relish the feeling of her bare arms and legs hooked over mine.
Her white-blonde hair splays across the pillow in a fan.
She’s warm and soft, and every dream I ever had made flesh. I might not have known I wanted or needed this, but now she’s in my life, I can never imagine it without her.
Lifting her head from where it’s resting against my shoulder, she smiles at me. “I love you, Roman. Thank you for saving me.”
I’d been feeling as if I had traumatized her for life, so her heartfelt words warm me deep inside.
“I love you, too. I’m sorry I made it traumatic.”
Her giggle takes me by surprise. “More for him than me… and anyway, he deserved it.”
“I’ll always save you, baby,” I say truthfully.
It feels as if everything is perfect, except for my pain, but it’s not. Storm clouds are gathering on the horizon, and things will get a lot darker before the light hopefully finds us again.
I’m worried for Ophelia, that taking her back to that place will awaken even more demons for her. Letting my chin drop to her head, I inhale the scent of her shampoo, and pure fucking love fills my heart.
She turns over, taking my arm and keeping it around her chest, making me snuggle her. This is the side I can lie on the easiest. No side is pain free, but the other is so bad it wakes me repeatedly, even with the meds.
I hold her as tightly as my injuries allow. It occurs to me that as much as I love having sex with her, getting to just sleep in a bed with her means even more. This isn’t only about sex—not that I’m sure it ever was. We’re bonded now, and I’ll never let anything break that bond.
Her breathing slows and softens. My chest swells with so much emotion, I’m unsure I can contain it. I might be beaten and broken, but I’m happy.
My eyes close, despite the pounding pain in my face, and I drift.
As I surface from the dream, where I was being chased by the guard from the institution, waving his severed penis in his hand, I struggle to get my bearings. What woke me?
Swallowing against a dry mouth, I realize that Ophelia is making soft, snuffling sounds, and pushing back against me.
My brain comes online real quick as it hits me that she’s having a dream and it sounds pretty damn erotic.
Her nightdress has risen high, baring her ass and pussy, and as she wriggles her bottom against me, I feel her wet heat against my thigh.
Holy shit. I’m instantly, achingly hard.
“Hhmmm, yes, Malachi,” she murmurs.
I’d drop my jaw open if it didn’t fucking hurt so much.
Malachi? Why not me? I’m the one with her.
The idea that she’s dreaming of him, not me, sparks something dark in me.
I don’t mind sharing, but she picked me to be with her tonight.
But no, everyone has to love the guitar playing, eyeliner wearing one the most. I roll my eyes.
I don’t mean it, really. Mal is my best friend, and I get it.
Our conversations in the safe house drift to me. The way she’d basically given us free use. The way she’d given me permission to fuck her even while she slept.
I bite back a groan as my dick throbs and a bead of arousal coats my tip. I reach between our bodies, taking care not to jostle her and rub my thumb around the sensitive head.
Holy fuck. I’m so battered and bruised, but like this? On my good side, with her pussy right-the-fuck-there, and her asleep? I could just slip it in, right? I mean, I’d barely have to move.
God, she is wet, so she’s horny, too. She needs it as much as I do. My girl wants relief, or her poor pussy will ache all night and she won’t be able to rest.
I tell myself I’m being a gentleman. I’m not. I’m being a selfish bastard listening to the devil on my shoulder telling me to do the thing, even if it’s wrong. It feels even more wicked with her friend downstairs, and the guys in another room.
She lets out a small moan and clenches her thighs together, squirming against the mattress. Fuck it.
I scoot closer, hissing as I jostle my ribs. I can’t believe how horny I am for this girl. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be up for fucking anyone else in this amount of pain.
“I’ve got you, my pretty Pet,” I whisper. It’s so quiet I can barely hear it myself. “I’ll make it all better, just the way you need.”
Taking hold of my dick, I rub the head against her soaked pussy from behind. Jesus Christ, she’s so hot there. I push in, just the very tip, then hold still and don’t move.
I’ve never done this before, and, instead of giving in to the urge to thrust, I let myself feel everything. While meditating, one of the things I do is become hyperaware, and I let that happen now.
Her breathing grows smoother again, as if she’s fallen into deeper sleep. The wind outside moans around the water tower, low and melancholy.
The sheets are soft against my skin, but even that hurts. The only thing that doesn’t hurt is my dick. That’s in heaven. Encased in warm, wet fucking heaven.
The scent of her arousal makes my mouth water.
My dick pulses, just from being inside her.
She must feel it, as she gives a little whimper and her pussy tightens around me.
I place my lips to her shoulder, absorbing her warmth and the softness of her skin.
It’s all I can think about—these two places where our bodies touch.
My mind and body are completely focused.
Being somewhat spiritual, I’ve read about tantric sex but never tried it. I never believed I had the patience for it, but I’m beginning to rethink that. It’s an incredible experience being held inside the body of another person when they’re not even aware of it.
Needing just that bit more, I push in another inch.
“Oh, fuck,” I groan quietly. “So tight and wet, baby.”
I’m talking to her even though she can’t hear me. Even though she’s asleep.
Slowly, breathing deeply, I nudge my hips until I’m all the way in, and then I simply stay there. Balls deep and enjoying the hell out of the way the pleasure and endorphins stop the pain the way the meds haven’t been able to.
I reach around her body and slip my hand up under her shirt to cup her bare breast. I run my thumb over her nipple.
It’s already hard, but it tightens and puckers under my touch.
Is she still asleep? I can’t see how she can be with my cock fully embedded inside her, and me playing with her nipple, but if she is awake, she hasn’t given me any sign.
Suddenly, she mutters in her sleep. “Hhmm, no, silly.”
I freeze at those words. Is she saying no to this?
“Bring the cake.”
A soft laugh escapes me. No, she’s not saying no to this, she’s clearly dreaming again, and about cake. I wonder what part of her brain combines the sensation of a man’s cock inside her with cake. Is it because they both bring her pleasure?
I have to shift my position slightly, my pelvis pressing against her ass. She lets out a little whimper again and her back arches, driving me deeper. I hold back a groan of my own and pinch her nipple tighter, but not enough to hurt.
Can I make her come without waking her up?
I want to try.
Carefully, I slide my hand down from her breast to her pussy. I part her folds, finding her swollen little clit. I stroke it with a feather light pressure at first, and as she squirms and responds, I build the tempo.
I keep my hips motionless. Hell, I don’t need to pound into her with her squirming against me. The way, every now and again, her pussy tightens around me is enough.
Totally focusing on it all, deeply lost in this moment, I sense both our orgasms approaching. She’s so wet, it drips down my cock, and I bite back a groan.
My balls ache and when she moves back, nudging against them, I have the sudden urge to have her suck them one day. What the fuck? Where the hell did that come from?
That thought, the idea of her sucking my balls, drooling, licking them, as I fuck my fist, makes my ass muscles clench in anticipation.
Desperate now, I strum her clit faster. I move just a little, no longer able to bear not having the friction.
“Oh,” she says with a surprised moan. “What the—?”
She’s awake now, I realize. But I think she’s just woken up as her orgasm is about to hit. I don’t stop. I sink my teeth into her shoulder and give in, pumping into her hard while I play with her clit.
“Oh, my God. Roman.” She spasms around me, coming hard. “Shit. Oh, oh, oh.” She’s grinding against me, just muttering those breathy ohs of surprise over and over.
It’s enough to make me lose it, too. Pleasure takes me in its grip and rushes through me in a hedonistic flurry. My cock thickens and pulses, and I grunt as I jam deep, coming hard. I empty myself, filling her with my energy, giving her all I have.
Breathing hard, my heart rate finally slowing, I sag against the pillows.
“I’m sorry,” I say softly.
I recall what she’d said about free use, but… I feel as if I’ve done something wrong.
She doesn’t answer me for a long moment and my heart contracts. Shit, have I gone too far?
Then she gives a soft, mumbled, “Sss’okay,” and relaxes against me, her breathing deepening, until it’s in a regular rhythm.
Did she just come and fall back asleep?
I realize what a stressful day it’s been for her. I bet she’s exhausted.
I’m still deep inside her, and although I’m softening, I don’t pull out.
Instead, I get closer to her, until my stomach is right up against her ass, and with my cock still in her, I drift off.