10. Sebastian
CHAPTER 10
SEBASTIAN
I 'm trying to be gentle, trying to be kind, trying to wrap my fucking head around her and the thoughts running rampant in her mind, but it’s hard to think of her needs when I’m consumed by white hot fury. She is mine. My wife. Mine to protect.
I’ve failed her before, this I know, but I won’t fail again. Not again .
I try to take measured breaths as I walk, but her struggling only irritates me more. "Stop it!" I snap.
She freezes in the hall, and I close my eyes, taking a moment to get a better grasp on my anger. Once I feel like I won’t explode, I round to face her. "Can you stop struggling and simply follow me? Please?” I tack on belatedly.
Her blue eyes are wide and red-rimmed from crying, and her pert mouth is set into a frown. "Why can't I stay with Drew and Bel?"
"Because we are married, and that’s not what married people do." I try to keep my tone calm, neutral, even, but her flinch tells me I've failed.
Why is it always a fight with her? I turn back to the hall and continue walking toward the rooms I'd given her after I found her sleeping in closets and hiding from ghosts.
I guess not ghosts, since I've faced them now, too. Next time, we'll face them together, and we'll win—if I can make her understand my side of things.
For now, I'll put her here until she feels safe again, and then, when I've made her understand how good we are together, how much we need each other, I'll bring her back into our bed. I flip on the light switch and cross the room to the fireplace, hitting the button and turning it on so it emits a soft, warm glow in the hearth.
The room has already been cleaned, the sheets turned down. It's cozier than the other room she'd been staying in; plus, my door connects to it so if she breathes a little too hard I'll be able to get to her.
She spins and stares at the bed, tugging her hand out of my grasp but gently this time. I choose to release her and hate the coldness on my skin at the absence of her touch.
"This will work for now, until you're more comfortable."
A door down the hall slams closed, rattling the fucking walls. Fucking Lee. Startled, Elyse jumps, her entire body flinching. Like she senses danger, she rushes across the room, putting the king-sized bed between us.
It’s amusing she thinks a bed will stop me from getting to her if I want.
"I'm not going to hurt you, Ely. At least, not in any way you wouldn't want me to."
Her forehead wrinkles as she studies my face, a red flush traveling up her neck and into her pale cheeks. I can only imagine the wicked thoughts popping into her head.
Leaning forward, I place one knee on the bed and inch closer. "I can see the pink blush on your cheeks, Little Prey. Have you been thinking about it? About us?"
She straightens her shoulders and looks away. "Of course I haven't. I don't... there's nothing..." She stops speaking then and keeps her gaze averted.
"Little Prey," I taunt, climbing across the bed to reach her.
Once I’m close enough, I gently stroke her cheek, and her eyes flutter closed. I don’t like how ill at ease she is with my touch now, but I don’t comment on it, either. There will be plenty of time to reacquaint her with my hands. For now, the fact that she isn’t running from me is satisfying enough.
"There is no denying you enjoyed the things I did to you in the woods and in our bed. I know you enjoyed taking from me, claiming me. None of that changes the fact that we are partners in this. We can do this."
She leans away from me, and I hate it. I hate her reaction to my proximity.
I want her to want me as badly as I want her. I want her to see me as the hero, instead of the monster she claims I am. I want her to know she can come to me no matter what, and even if I am a monster in her eyes, I’ll always be her monster.
Unable to let her slip further away, I grasp her upper arms and pull her against me, needing her closer. "Like it or not, we are together, and we’re stuck with each other. It'll be easier for both of us if you try to understand the direness of the situation, and maybe be a little more fucking agreeable."
Her eyes snap open, and I spot that old familiar fire there. The woman who shredded my clothes and my heart at the same time appears, giving me newfound hope.
"Agreeable? Are you kidding me? You've kept me locked up for a week like a captive, and now you're dragging me to your bed like a caveman. Who do you think you are?"
I can't help but grin at her—there’s my spitfire. The firecracker. Maybe Yanov didn’t snuff out all her light after all. Tipping her chin up, I stare into her pretty blue eyes. "There you are, Little Prey. I wasn’t sure if you were still in there or not? It’s nice to see you.”
“You infuriate me.” She doesn’t smile, but her lips twitch. She wants to.
“The feeling is mutual.” I smirk. “And to answer your question, you know who I am. I’m your husband. Your protector. If I want to drag you to the ends of the earth and back again then I will. Wherever you are is where I will be.”
Again she withdraws, tunneling back into herself. She walks over to the fireplace, and I have to force myself to keep my distance. “If all you want is my compliance then you have it, but this isn’t real. I don’t want to stay in this room with you. I think it would be better if I stayed with Drew and Bel for the time being.”
I try to remind myself that her rejection is okay, but my heart and head war with the idea this marriage was forced upon her, so I have to be patient. It’s hard, when I know deep down she wants me, wants us. She’s just afraid. Afraid of the future, of me, of the secrets I’m still keeping. I want to tell her the truth about that night, but I can’t risk losing her, not anymore than I already have.
Exploding on her won't help, either. I have no other choice but to sit inside my feelings. To give her the time she needs to come to terms with the situation. At least until I can’t anymore.
I shove the anger, the fear, the need to control and possess her, as far down as I can and I slip into the cold mask I wore for the months I'd spent seeing her everyday but not touching her.
She senses the change in me immediately, her eyes narrowing with suspicion as she studies me like a bug under a microscope. Keep watching, Little Prey. Keep trying to figure me out.
Like she hasn’t listened to a word I’ve been saying, she keeps pushing. “You can’t make me stay here. I promise I’ll go stay with Bel and Drew, or at the Mill, and I’ll be safe there.”
Why can’t she see how this is killing me? The tether of my patience snaps, all at once.
"This isn't good enough for you?" I question, hearing the neutral coldness in my tone. "Fine."
Charging forward, I take her by the hips, lift her off her feet, and toss her over my shoulder. Then I barrel into my bedroom, slamming the door in the other room behind me while she pounds her tiny little fists into my back.
I don't relent until I toss her frail body down on top of the bed, the covers a rumpled mess underneath her. She gets tangled in them as she fights to get her feet under her. Yeah, I don’t think so. As mean as it might make me, I continue to shove her back onto the bed until she gives up.
I’ve done nothing but care for her, protect her, make her feel wanted. Hell, I’ve given her space when it was clear she needed it but what about me? What about what I need for fucking once? Something cracks inside me and I can’t stand it any longer. The way she stares at me like I’m the enemy. Like I’m the one who hurt her, not the one who has been giving her everything for months.
My grip earns me an icy glare that I gladly accept. She wants to fight, we’ll fucking fight.
With a sigh of defeat she slaps the covers and asks,"Is this where I perform my wifely duties?"
Still stuck in my mask of cold indifference, trying not to let the fire raging in my gut ignite and reduce us both to ash, I stare her down. A heartbeat passes and then another, and I step closer, reaching for her with my other hand at the same time. She struggles in my grasp, but I manage to bracket her thighs between my knees, trapping her. My little prey, always falling into the trap I lay for her.
"Depends. Is that what this is all about? Are you hungry for my cock?” A lustful haze seeps into her eyes. She might think she hates me right now, and even if she does, she can’t deny that she also wants me, and if I have to use that desire against her then I will. “Tell me, Little Prey. Say the word, and I'll fuck you until you scream my name."
The need to be closer grips me, and I press my legs into the wooden frame and lean forward, bracing my arms on either side of her shoulders, leaving her nowhere to escape, nowhere to hide. "Is that what you want?"
She bites her lip and shakes her head, but her eyes give her away. Wanton need swirls deep. "No. I don’t want you. We can't..."
"We can't do what? Fuck?” I whisper into the shell of her ear. “We’re both adults. You’re my wife, and I’m your husband. I don’t see the problem.”
“Of course you don’t,” she murmurs with a shake of her head.
“Just because you hate me, doesn’t mean we can’t fuck. I know you want it. I know you want my cock stretching you, sliding deep inside, touching every delicate nerve ending in your cunt. My cunt. Until you explode, squeezing the release right from my balls. You’re just stubborn, too stubborn for your own good, but that’s okay…” I nuzzle against her throat and smirk at the sharp intake of breath. She fucking wants me. “Because I’ve got all the time in the world to wait for you to come to your senses.” Pulling back so I can look into her eyes, I finish my sentence, “In fact, nothing will please me more than watching you shatter around me while your pretty little mouth begs me to fuck you harder. And believe me when I say it, you’ll beg me.”
Her entire body tightens, and the anger in her face bleeds out. I wonder what she’s going to do next, and she shocks the fuck out of me when she puckers her lips and spits at me. Spittle hits my cheek, but I’m not bothered by the saliva. I’m more consumed with the anger in her eyes.
She’s angry because she knows I’m telling the truth.
Well, guess what, the truth fucking hurts sometimes.
Grinning, I gently scoop the spit off my cheek, and stare down at it. "Did you just fucking spit at me?"
I can see the fear building like bricks, but somehow she remains stoic.
“What do you think?” She replies with sass, but I know it’s nothing but an act. Her body language says so much more. Her eyes dart away from mine and pinch closed, she grips the sheets, as if she’s preparing herself for a fight, for pain.
I’m an asshole, a manipulator, a fucking menace…but I would never hit her. Never. It kills me to see that fear there, but she knows better. I’m not her father. I’m not Yanov.
All I can do is shake my head in disappointment. "Is that any way to treat your husband?"
“You’re not my husband,” she replies, her voice shaky.
I grin. “Oh, but I am, Little Prey, and I think it’s time you treated me like it.”
Before she can think to move, I shove my fingers between her lips, putting the globule of spit back into her mouth, then I pull my fingers free, and clamp my hand over her mouth and lower jaw to stop myself from undoing my pants and fucking her fiery little mouth with my cock.
"Spit at me again, and I’ll fill your mouth with my cock and choke you with it until you beg me for mercy. That blow job you gave me at the club will look like child's play compared to what I will do to you.”
Even as fear flashes in her doe eyes, an edge of curiosity slithers beneath.
A gentle whimper escapes her, and I watch her closely to make sure I didn't actually hurt her. But it’s not physical pain I’ve caused her, only a deeply-rooted desire to be fucked. She squeezes her thighs together as she rolls over onto her side.
I let out a long exhale and face the window, needing a minute.
"Why can't you just leave me alone? Forget I exist." She whispers the words, but it sounds so loud in the silent room around my slow breathing.
Turning to face her, I walk right up to the edge of the bed. "That’s not an option. I can’t forget you anymore than I can forget I need oxygen to breathe, and a heartbeat to stay alive. I can’t fucking do it, Elyse. It would be my death to forget you.”
The slight show of fear trickles away, and the anger is back in full force. Good. I want her to fight back. I want her spitting at me, even if it makes me so fucking pissed I want to strangle her. I'd rather have that than the beaten look in her eyes.
"What do you want, Ely? Really? Tell me what you want."
She shifts her gaze to mine, and when she speaks her voice comes out tiny. "I don’t know. I'm just tired. Tired of hurting, tired of fighting, but more than anything, I’m tired of running."
I climb up onto the bed, needing to be closer to her. "Then don't run. Stay here, with me, and let me keep you safe."
She turns her face into the pillow. "I can't stay here. How do I know I'm actually safe? I watched you kill a man, and you kept me here, beholden to you, so you could keep an eye on me. The job and place to sleep…it wasn’t because you’re kind. You never wanted me here, never wanted me like I wanted you..."
I move, pressing against her back so she can feel every inch of my body against her. Especially the raging hard on I've had since I laid her in our bed.
"I never wanted you? Does this feel like a man who doesn’t want you?”
She peers at me over her shoulder. "I’m not stupid. I know you’re physically attracted to me, but I mean mentally. Long term. A relationship is more than sex. I don't feel safe anymore. Even here with you, right now. It’s never been like that. I always felt safe with you...before.”
That statement hurts more than anything she's said so far.
I don’t feel safe with you…
I move away from her, and as I do, she climbs off the bed, heading in the direction of the door. "See, this is what I mean. I'll go back to the other room and…"
I block her path before she can cut me clean down the middle with whatever else she was going to say. "No. You'll stay here. This is where you’ll end up, anyway.”
“What does that mean?”
“You know what it means so don’t play dumb. Now stop being so stubborn. Stop fighting against me, us . Accept what you’re given, accept my generosity. It’s the least you can do.”
Her eyes narrow to slits, and she reaches without looking for the first thing she can get her hands on. It’s the glass of water I left on the bedside table last night. She lobs the glass at me like it’s nothing, though clearly not intending to hit me since it lands on the sheets.
“Don’t tell me that’s all you got, Little Prey?” I taunt.
Keeping my eyes on her, I wait for the moment she spins around to run out the door, and then I attack. I’m on her in seconds, my arms circling her waist, and I haul her back into the room and onto the bed. Tiny nails sink into my skin as she scratches at me, trying to squirm out of my grasp. With one hand, I reach down to the bedside table and pull out the restraints I keep on hand for playtime.
"Fine, if you want to keep fighting, then you’ll have to do it with yourself because I’m done for the night.”
“Let go of me!” she snarls.
“Nope. You aren’t going anywhere. You’ve made your bed, and now you have to sleep in it.”
She stares open-mouthed as I tie her wrists low on the headboard tight enough she won't be able to release herself.
I pull the last strap a little tighter than necessary, then lean down and pinch her chin between my fingers. "You may fight me, curse me, hate me…hell, you might even wish me dead. I don't care, but you aren't leaving. I will keep you here with me for however long it takes. I failed you once before, and I’m not doing it again. So lie here and think about what we talked about today; let it sink in, because it’s your new reality, and no matter how much you think of me as the villain in all of this, all I want is you to be happy, and I could really use your help moving things along.”
Angrily, she jerks her face out of my grasp. "Go fuck yourself."
I smile, because I love that fight. "No, Little Prey, you'll take care of that for me, but not yet, not until you beg me to fuck you.”
And just because I can, and to prove a point, I reach down under the T-shirt she's wearing and spear my hand into her shorts. I cradle her pussy in my hand, feeling for the slick heat coating my fingers as I delve between her folds.
“Deny it all you want Ely, but the proof is between your legs. You might hate me, and you might think I’m a monster, but you still very much want me to fuck you, and the only person you’re lying to is yourself. Sleep tight, and think about your behavior before I return to check on you.”