13. Elyse
CHAPTER 13
ELYSE
A fter that night, we fall into this strange rhythm. I mean if you call tiptoeing around each other for fear of causing a catastrophic crash a rhythm . As time passes and I think more about him killing his grandfather, I become less frightened and more understanding. I can’t judge him for what he did. I don't know the entire story, since he hasn't deigned to share it with me, but I have no doubt Sebastian had his reasons.
As I had mine. It was survival. Kill or be killed. I know this, and it’s the only thing I can tell myself to stop the guilt from eating me alive. I’m coming to terms with what I did. I hate it, but I also know I had no other option. Now my father wants to meet with Sebastian to discuss what will happen with me, as if I’m an object to be bartered.
I hate it. I hate him.
My father is the one who did this to me. Yes, Yanov might’ve been the one inflicting pain, but my father…he played the biggest role in my abuse. He sold me, offered me to his friends, and planned to marry me off to whoever gave him the most money.
Anger festers deep in my gut. I hate him, and I hate that everyone in this town thinks he’s the hero, when in reality he’s what nightmares are made of. There’s no one as evil as him, no one who will go to the lengths he goes to to get what he wants.
That’s part of the reason I have a difficult time believing Sebastian. Not because I don’t think he can protect me, but because I know my father and what he will do. I’m not only afraid for myself, but for Sebastian, too. He has success, money, and power. Why would he risk all of those things for me? Why would he sacrifice so much?
Confusion accompanies that thought every time it surfaces, and I sigh through my nose as I make my way downstairs. It's been a week since Sebastian embedded himself deep within the confines of my heart. I’m consumed by him, and all I can think about is the memory of his hands on my skin and how I want him to do it again.
Which is a whole different can of worms since I refuse to ask him for sex, and he refuses to do it unless I " beg ." And I know he won't back down since he's possibly the only person more hard headed than I am.
After wandering around the house aimlessly for a while, I find myself in the kitchen, a book in my hand, my index finger marking the page. It’s still and quiet, no one around other than me.
I hate how much has changed. How quiet the house is compared to what it used to be.
The only staff Sebastian has allowed in the house since I was taken is the housekeeper, and that’s only because he’s known her since he was a child and trusts her with his life.
I’m restless, eager to explore and leave the house, but at the same time the thought of doing so leaves me anxious. When will my father get impatient and show up? Or what is the next terrible thing he decides to do to me? I'm on pins and needles waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Releasing a heavy sigh, I reach for an apple from the fruit basket on the counter. As I do, my gaze falls on a glint of metal next to the basket, and I set the apple down to pick it up. It’s a necklace, the chain thick and expensive-feeling, with a glimmering heart-shaped pendant.
My fingers trace its smooth surface, the swirls and colors in the pendant’s glass catching the light and sparking curiosity. Whose is it?
I glance at the basket and the corner of a piece of paper catches my eye. Sliding the basket over, I pick it up and scan Sebastian’s scrawled handwriting.
For you, Little Prey.
A warm glow suffuses me, and I lock the necklace around my neck. The day ahead and all this business with my father suddenly looks less bleak.
My mind turns to another bright side in all this: Tanya and her pet security guard are gone now. Sebastian hasn’t told me what happened. But I suspect it has something to do with what I witnessed in the study that night. All I know is her room is empty, and he had the housekeeper bleach and scrub it from top to bottom. Bringing the apple to my lips, I take a bite and chew slowly.
Her absence doesn’t bother me as badly as that of the other staff. I don’t want to see her. I didn’t want to see her when she lived here, and I want to see her even less after what I witnessed between her and Sebastian. It’s another reminder, another secret added to the ocean of lies and half-truths separating us.
And the baby. Is it even possible? Or is that just one more lie?
I know I should ask him about what I saw and overheard, but the last thing I want to do is cause more problems, and I get the feeling that's what would happen. The housekeeper, Carey, bustles into the room, holding a stack of sheets. She pauses and gives me a disapproving look as she takes in the oversized T-shirt and shorts I’m wearing.
"No offense, but you need a shower.”
I try not to bristle at her comment. She is a very nice woman, and I didn't mind working with her when I was working for Sebastian.
“Perhaps I do.” I shrug and take another bite of the apple.
She sets her stack of sheets on the counter, and I eye them curiously. Perfectly folded fitted sheets was never something I mastered, and seeing her even stack makes the perfectionist in me flinch. Leaning against the counter she stares at me, and I take in her khaki pants and pressed polo. She has her gray streaked hair pulled back into a tight bun.
She looks put together, and the sheer contrast of us makes me feel even more self-conscious.
"Look. I have no idea what is going on between you and Mr. Arturo, but I can see you both care for one another." She swallows hard enough I can hear it, and the vulnerable look in her eyes makes sense when she speaks again. "My husband died a few years ago. Cancer. It was the hardest time of my life, and Sebastian, even before his grandfather's death, made me his responsibility. He ensured I had anything and everything I needed. I couldn’t work because there was no one to care for my husband, but the hospital didn’t care; the debt collectors still called. The bills stacked up, and I knew soon I’d lose our house.”
“I’m so sorry. I had no idea you lost your husband…” I trail off, unsure what the proper response would be.
“I’m not telling you any of this because I want your sympathy. I’m telling you this because Sebastian understood the heartache and loss I was going to endure, and he knew losing my husband was bad enough. Losing the house and my job would kill me. So he ensured I’d have a job when I returned to work, and he covered all the funeral expenses. He didn’t have to do those things, but he chose to. He wanted to. When I told him I had no idea how I’d ever repay him, he said: “You being here is all the repayment I need.”
She doesn’t need to say it. I know Sebastian isn’t a bad guy, but he’s not as innocent as he portrays himself to be, either.
“I just wanted to share that with you, because no matter how well he plays the monster, that’s not who he is.”
I nod, the movement jerky. “Good lives inside Sebastian; I know that. But sometimes good isn’t enough.”
God, I hope he didn’t send her down here to tell me this in the hope I will forgive him or something stupid like that.
“He cares about you, and that’s worth mentioning since he doesn’t care about much of anything or anyone.” She smiles softly and snatches the stack of perfectly fitted sheets off the counter. “Take a shower, child, and put on a fresh pair of clothes.”
Rude. I peer down at myself and cringe. Okay, maybe I do need a shower and a clean pair of clothes, but there's no reason to point it out.
Bewildered, I shake my head and play back everything she said to me.
Does she really think I don’t see Sebastian as a good guy? He "took care" of me when my father sold me to his grandfather like a pet, didn't he? Still, some of the choices he's made through it all wouldn't exactly qualify him for sainthood. Although…we all make mistakes, right? We all have to do things that maybe we aren’t proud of in the name of survival.
Am I making excuses for him, or am I simply seeing the truth of the matter? No matter which way it goes, there is no making the thunderclouds hanging above our heads, threatening to implode on us, disappear.
I place the apple on the counter and get distracted when I hear what sounds like a scuffle at the door. Shoving off the stool, I walk towards the grand entrance, but whoever is here is already on their way towards me. I momentarily freeze. The world spins around me, and I’m taken back in time. I’m that young girl, hiding in the back of her closet behind the frilly dresses, pajamas, and stuffed animals. Hiding for the sound of boots on the wood floor.
My heart races, and a sheen of sweat forms against my palms. Yanov is dead, but the memory of his presence sure isn’t. My fears slowly dissipate when Bel comes scurrying around the corner.
She tugs the sleeves of her hoodie down over her knuckles, and when her gaze meets mine, she gives a giant grin. "There you are!"
My lungs burn like I’ve been holding my breath for hours. I try to shake off the anxiety coursing through my veins and remind myself that this is Bel. My friend.
“Here I am.” I give her a little wave.
She crosses the kitchen, walking right up to me. Her long blonde braid swings over her shoulder with the movement.
"It's nice to see you out and about.”
“It’s nice not to be cooped up in that bedroom anymore.”
She smiles, “Yeah, Seb can be a little over the top sometimes.”
“A little?” I wince and flash her my wedding ring. “He made me marry him well under the influence.”
“Oh girl, I already heard and I ripped him a new asshole.” She winks. “For someone who always tells people to have manners and do things the right way, he sure has a habit of breaking his own rules.”
Knowing she defended me against him makes me smile. “Thank you for sticking up for me.”
“Of course, we girls have to stick together.”
“That’s for sure.”
“So…uh, I hope you didn’t have any plans for today.” She eyes me curiously.
“Does it look like I have any plans today?” I gesture to myself.
“On second thought.” Bel laughs. “You do now, because I need some girl time.”
I consider the invitation. I haven’t left the house since Sebastian brought me back here, and the fear of going out and something bad happening is like a ton of bricks sitting on my chest. “I don’t know if I would be good company right now.”
Bel frowns, “What? Why not? Is everything okay?”
How much should I tell her? Does she know her brother is a killer?
"If I’m being honest with myself, and you, I would say no. Everything is not okay.” I look away and consider my next sentence. “And things with Sebastian are weird. It feels like there are so many secrets to overcome, but bringing them to light inevitably pushes us further apart.”
"Secrets? What kind of secrets?"
I shift on my feet anxiously and avert my eyes. "Well, I remembered some of what happened when I was left for dead, dumped on his doorstep. At this point, he should just tell me everything, but there are still gaps in my memory, and he’s not offering me any answers. Then there's everything that happened with Yanov. I’m working on the guilt, but I’m constantly looking over my shoulder, startled and afraid. He might be dead, but it feels like his ghost is haunting me.”
“Wow, okay, that’s a lot.” She nods. “I can see why you’re overwhelmed right now.”
“Yeah, and I don’t want to burden you with any of my problems.” I give her a sad smile because we both know I’m about to decline her invite to go out.
“First of all, you’re not a burden. That’s what friends are for right? To talk to about our problems, to get and give advice and guidance. And secondly, if you weren’t jumpy or afraid after everything that went down I would have to wonder if you were human. What you had to do… I don’t think you understand the level of bravery that takes. Leaving the house can be fearsome after that, but I promise you, you’re in good hands. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. Not at the expense of my brother's wrath.”
She’s making this harder than it needs to be. “I don’t know, Bel.”
“Shhhh, I will not take no for an answer.” She tugs me by the arm. “Go upstairs, take a shower, put on some clean clothes, and come shopping with me. I know you’ll need a dress for one of the events Seb is attending soon.”
“Isn’t that what they made Amazon Prime for?” I give her a cheeky grin.
Rolling her eyes, she shoves me toward the entrance of the kitchen. “You have thirty minutes, and don’t try anything sneaky, either, or I will come up there and dress you myself.”
Reluctantly I follow her directions, and by the time I reach my room upstairs I’ve convinced myself I need to at least try and get out of the house.
Thirty minutes later, I’m showered and dressed. My hair is still wet because I’m too lazy to dry it, so I toss it up into a bun. Before I head downstairs, I give myself a onceover in the mirror. I’m dressed in a pair of jeans and a chunky sweatshirt I’m wearing over a T-shirt.
Is this shopping attire? I don’t even know, but let’s hope it’s good enough.
I find Bel in the foyer, leaning against the wall. She greets me with a smile, and together we head out into the chilly midday sun. A black Sedan is parked out front, and Drew sits in the driver's seat. Should’ve known he wouldn’t be very far from Bel.
As we climb into the backseat I ask Bel, “Is this our security?”
He flashes me a grin over his shoulder. "Just pretend I'm not here."
I level a look at Bel. "Not likely to happen."
She chuckles and then reaches over the seat to grab a couple of iced coffees Drew passes back to her. Shoving one into my hand, she turns in the seat to face me. "Don’t mind him. Drew is sworn to secrecy today. He won't say anything to anyone, or I won't let him do that one thing he likes." A pink flush climbs into her cheeks.
I don’t know if I believe that, but I go with it.
Drew grumbles from the front seat but keeps his eyes on the road while he drives us off the estate. This must be a sanctioned outing since Sebastian isn't currently blowing up my phone or chasing me down the driveway. It doesn’t take us long to arrive wherever it is we’re going, maybe ten minutes. Drew pulls the sedan to the curb outside an upscale boutique.
“If you guys need anything I’ll be right here, chilling in the car.”
“That’s fine, because we won’t be needing anything.” Bel snickers and I look at the front door of the shop skeptically.
Bel must sense my hesitation because she latches onto my arm and damn near drags me out of the car. "I know this doesn't seem like my style, but it's a good place to get dresses and the added touch is the staff don't make me want to punch them in the face."
I’m not sure what to say, so I say nothing at all. Bel drags us both through the door, and the little ding of the bell announces our presence. It’s a beautiful shop, all white and black on accenting marble. The mannequins are stick figures barely holding clothing arranged artfully around the room. This is not a place I’d ever come to shop. I risk a look at Bel, but she seems determined.
A small woman in black slacks and a black blouse comes around from the back of the shop. "Ah, Ms. Arturo, you've returned. How can we help you today?”
“Yes, my friend would like to try on some dresses if you have time?” Bel answers for both of us.
“Of course we have time, anything for you.” The woman smiles and gestures for us to follow her.
Bel leads me to the back room, following behind the woman. We pass down a hall, and then a curtain is pulled to the side, and we step into a beautiful, relaxing space. In front of us is a low white couch. Bel guides me over to it, and I sink down into its soft, comfy cushions.
"Cecile, we need a dress for my friend Ely here. A special dress. Can you help us?"
She gives a little bow as a second staff member appears with a tray of cookies and tea. Ohhh, this is fancy. Cecile stares at me for a long moment and then waves her hand to request I stand. I scurry to my feet and let her turn me ever so slightly. "Do you prefer long or short dresses?" She asks.
I let my mouth flop open a second as I spot a line of wedding dresses on a rack by the wall. I don’t know. Thankfully, Bel swoops in to save the day. "This is all new to her. We are shopping for an intimate wedding ceremony so pick something to make her husband drool."
The sound of her husband in regards to me makes my insides churn, and I sink back onto the couch slowly. Wait, did she say wedding? Bel notices the change and hands me a cookie. "Relax. I know it's all new to you. I understand. I also understand this might not be the way you wanted things to go, but I’m a glass half-full kind of girl. Have you thought of the good parts this arrangement brings?”
Cecile leaves us then, and I take a long deep breath to try and gain control of my fractured composure. "Good things? Like what?"
Bel tilts her head, her mouth turned down as she studies me. "I get you didn't envision the marriage part going like this, but It's not like you and Sebastian didn't have serious chemistry before all of this, right? You've been making mooney eyes at him since I met you. And soon we can have a real party, a real wedding to enjoy."
The thought of how ridiculous I acted makes my neck burn with shame.
"So," she continues. "You have Sebastian. And he is devoted to you. Completely. There will never be someone more in your corner or protective."
I sigh. She doesn’t know everything, though. She doesn’t know who her brother really is, or what he’s done. "Okay, but what if you knew Drew did something terrible? Like really, really terrible and he kept it from you even though you were part of it, and he should’ve told you. How would you feel?"
Something shifts in her eyes and she turns to busy herself making a cup of tea even though she's got a half-filled iced coffee on the table as well. "I would be upset and angry, but I would also have to learn to accept maybe he did a terrible thing to protect me? Not everything is cookie cutter style, Elyse. Sometimes the person you love does stupid things in an effort to lessen your own pain. It’s your job to decide if you can forgive him or not.”
Bel sounds like she's speaking from experience and it makes me study her a little harder. "Am I missing something? You’re talking like you’ve experienced this before?"
She waves her hand, dismissing my question, "This isn’t about me. This is about you. Now tell me, what did Sebastian do?"
I freeze, partially because I want to protect Sebastian at all costs. I don’t want anyone else to think ill of him, but if I can’t tell her then who can I tell?
Bel abandons her tea and clasps my hands in hers. “It doesn’t matter what he did, Elyse. He’s my brother, and whatever you tell me will not change that.”
I swallow around the knot in my throat, and force the words out. "He killed his grandfather while I lay dying in the foyer."
She blinks once, only taken off guard a tiny bit by such a confession. "Why? Why did he kill him?" It's not the question of a sister, but a friend. It feels like she's on my side, and I guess I didn’t realize how much I've needed that. The tightness in my chest loosens.
"I don’t know one hundred percent why he did it, but I think it was because his grandfather purchased me in exchange for my father's gambling debts."
"That sounds like a good reason, right?"
I ponder her response. What would life have been like if Sebastian’s grandfather was in control of me, in control of my well being? I don’t have to imagine but for a few seconds to know it would have been hell compared to what I face with Sebastian every day. He was just like my father, thinking he was above common decency like respecting personal autonomy.
"Do you know what kind of man he was? The grandfather?"
Bel nods and looks down at our joint hands. "He wasn’t a good man, not at all. He made it his dying mission to turn Sebastian into the perfect heir. I hate to think what would’ve become of you, or even me, if Sebastian hadn’t made that sacrifice.”
I’m startled when a loud clatter fills the space, and I jump up from my seat. Bel’s grip on me tightens, reminding me everything is okay. Nothing is going to happen. Her eyes are trained on me, and after a moment she whispers, "It's okay. It's fine. It was just the staff dropping something."
My body trembles, my heart hammers against my ribcage.
“Shhh, it’s okay. Everything is okay.” Bel soothes, and her voice helps to keep me present.
A few moments later, a young woman walks into the room carrying a few dresses and shoes, her heart-shaped face red like she’s embarrassed. She hangs the dresses and places the accessories on the display and then disappears again, and I sink back down onto the couch.
Bel smiles at me, "You know the best part of all of this?""
I shake my head, my mouth dry from the scare, and she continues. "You're my sister. And there is nothing I wouldn't do for my family. You have me, and you have Drew and those morons at the Mill, Lee and Aries. Oh, and you have Sebastian. Despite how he went about things, I have no doubt he did this with the best of intentions. After all, you’re the only thing he thinks about.”
“I don’t know about that.”
Bel shakes her head. “Is it really that difficult to think you’re worthy of attention and love? Sebastian loves you. There isn’t a doubt in my mind. He might come off as heartless, cruel, and a prick, but once you get past the icy exterior and into the underbelly you discover a different side of him. A warm and fuzzy side. If you’re someone he cares about, someone he considers family, there isn’t anything he won’t do for you. And I would know. We found out we were siblings on a whim. Our mother had died, and worst of all, he never got the opportunity to meet her, and when I say that I mean genuinely get to know her. He lost so much, and since you’ve come along it seems like he’s opened up a little more.”
I want to tell her she’s lying, she doesn’t know anything but the truth is, she’s right. I’ve seen it for myself. I nod, and she changes the conversation, jumping into what shoes go with what dress, but my mind remains stuck on Sebastian. What horrors is he trying to protect me from? And will we survive the revelation of all our secrets?