Chapter 4 Amadeo
FOUR
amadeo
“First class? Is that a higher price?”
The airport employee clicks on her keyboard, her long nails impressively not in her way. “For your ticket, yes. Mr. Cassiano already had a first-class ticket.”
“Oh.” I scrunch my nose, glancing over my shoulder at Balt, who is staring at his phone with a frown on his face. “No other spots?”
“No, sir.” She looks past me at the growing crowd. “Would you like to get on this flight?”
Balt glances up at that point. “What’s going on?”
“All they have is first class left. I can’t afford the upgrade.”
“Oh.” He steps up to the desk. “We’ll take them. We need to get to Wisconsin. What’s the fee?”
“No, Balt. I can’t—”
“Deo, I got it.”
The authority in his voice shuts me up but sends sparks of heat skittering across my skin. Gah, this man is heaven and hell wrapped up in one gorgeous package.
I stand awkwardly behind him while he pays the upgrade fee and we get new boarding passes printed. We only have to wait about twenty minutes until boarding, and the sky outside is clear and sunny.
When I turn to find a seat, Balt is walking in front of me, but his head is down, his eyes trained on his phone.
A pang of worry hits me. Is he hiding a significant other?
That would be messy as hell. I have no right to know about his personal life, but if he’s gonna be around my family, maybe I need to.
“Balt?”
He startles, almost dropping the phone as he turns to me. “Yeah?”
“Um, are you, uh, cheating on someone?”
His brow creases as he pulls his head back slightly. “What?”
“You’re being kind of weird with your phone.”
“Oh.” He chuckles, powering down the phone and slipping it into his messenger bag. “No, I’m not cheating on anyone. I don’t have anyone in my life right now. That’s my work phone and I was checking my messages.”
I feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment. “Sorry. That was rude of me to assume.”
“It’s a fair question. I’m a lot of things, but a cheater isn’t one of them.”
I nod, finding a chair. “Everything okay with work?”
Balt’s expression darkens and his jaw clenches for a brief moment. “Not really. That’s why I needed the sabbatical. Just some… office politics.”
“Your boss is a dick?”
He chuckles as he takes the seat next to me. “To put it lightly.”
“I get it. It’s kind of one of the reasons I decided to go home. At least working in the family business, I’d mostly be my own boss once I get my feet under me.”
“That’s ideal. I was self-employed for a long time until I took a job full time with one client. Big mistake.”
“Rich prick? They can be the worst, right?”
Balt nods, murmuring, “The worst.”
Boarding starts just a few minutes later. At least I might get a decent meal in first class. My stomach is rumbling so loud I’m surprised everyone can’t hear it.
Balt stands, picks his bag up off the chair and starts walking swiftly in the direction of the gate, before pausing and turning to me. A sexy smile spreads across his face.
“Come on, love.”
“Love?” I grab my bag and hurry to catch up to him. “Is that my pet name?”
“I had an English client a few years back. She called everyone ‘love’ and I thought it was endearing. Does it work for you?”
I nod. “Sure. It’s not too cheesy or syrupy.” As we line up, I glance at him. “What should I call you?”
“Whatever you like.”
“Schnookums?”
He blanches. “God, no.”
I laugh, playfully pushing his arm. “Kidding. I’ll come up with something worthy.”
Our conversation stops as we pass our boarding passes to the gate agent and walk down the ramp to find our seats. We’re in the second row, and Balt offers me the window seat. What a gentleman.
I notice how he looks at every person boarding, as though he’s expecting to recognize someone, and once again my curiosity about the man is piqued.
He could be anything or anyone and I wouldn’t be the wiser.
I’m trusting him not to be a maniac. When my nonna meets him, she’ll tell it like it is. She can read people like a book.
The flight is a little over two and half hours, which gives us time to chat and build on the chemistry.
This might be the wildest thing I’ve ever done, but I can’t stand the idea of my family’s pitying faces when they see me.
At least I can make it seem like this is a change I really want and I’ve got a gorgeous man on my arm who supports me. Sounds legit.
Once the plane takes off and we’re settled, Balt turns slightly in his seat to face me. “What’s important for me to know about you?”
“Oof. Loaded question.”
“Let’s start easy then. Is your family accepting of your sexuality?”
“Yeah. There are a lot of queer people in my family. We even joke about it at family gatherings. We’re Italian, obviously, so everyone’s loud and in your business, but good people. The best. I have missed them.”
“Do you visit often?”
“Not enough. Usually just for Christmas. Didn’t always have the funds, and I refused to let them pay for it. I wanted to be independent and make it on my own. Now look at me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. You tried something out, and even though it didn’t go the way you hoped, that’s a step a lot of people never take. You should be proud of yourself.”
His answer confuses me, but in a good way. “Thanks.”
The flight attendant comes through taking drink orders.
“The hottest coffee ever, please. Three sugars, two creamers.”
He nods, writing it down, then turns his gaze to Balt. “You, sir?”
“Coffee, just cream.”
The flight attendant moves on.
“They’ll ask you about your family.” I grimace. “They’re nosy.”
Balt nods. “Okay then. My parents are deceased. It was a terrible accident seven years ago. House fire.”
“Oh god, Balt. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s been difficult, but I go on.”
“Do you have siblings?”
I swear I see his eyes cloud over. “I have a sister but we’re not close.”
“Where does she live?”
“Denver. She’s married with a couple of kids. Wanted to get far away after our parents died.”
I don’t know what to say, so I put my hand over his and gently squeeze. “Thanks for telling me. I’d suggest saying your parents have passed and you’d rather not discuss the details. They’ll be respectful.”
Balt nods, his jaw twitching. “You have two brothers, right? Do they live in Madison?”
“Yep, two highly successful brothers. Both live near the family home. By the way, don’t be overwhelmed when you see it. My grandpa built a bunch of houses on the land, hoping we’d have a big family compound someday. There’s six houses and the winery.”
“Oh, wow. Okay. Who lives there?”
“Aunts, uncles, cousins. My folks. We’ll probably stay in the winery. There’s a guest space.”
Our coffee is dropped off, and I hug my cup like a lost love. The lack of caffeine after getting up at the butt crack of dawn was wearing on me. I sip the steamy liquid, closing my eyes as it burns its way down my throat.
“Absolute shit coffee, but at least it’s coffee.”
Balt chuckles. “Have to agree.” We sit quietly for a moment until he asks, “So how did we meet?”
I consider the question and a plausible encounter. “Do you like to read?”
Balt nods. “When I can, yes.”
“Okay. You know the indie bookstore in the city on Jersey Ave?”
“Yes, actually. I went to a signing there a few years ago.”
“For who?”
“Henry Leigh Waterson. He writes science fiction.”
My eyes widen. “I know him. Well, not personally. I mean, I know of him. I got one of his books as a gift one year. Um, what was it called? Oh, The Mars Odyssey. Did you read it?”
“That’s the signing I went to.”
I laugh softly. “That’s so cool. My cousin got me the book because it was so hyped up that year. I liked it.”
“I enjoyed the story. I left before I got it signed. The crowd was too much for me.”
“I bet. We could have met at the bookstore. I bumped into you and knocked the books out of your hand.”
Balt raises an eyebrow. “That sounds a bit contrived. How about I spotted you and simply had to know your name? You were too pretty to not talk to.”
I feel my cheeks warming as a shy smile tugs at my lips. “That’s really sweet.”
“And accurate.”
“We grabbed a coffee together and spent the afternoon chatting about books.”
“Then I asked for your phone number, and the rest is history.”
“On our first date, I knew you were gonna be important to me.”
Balt’s gaze heats. “And I knew the minute I saw your face.”
“So, you’re a romantic at heart?”
He shakes his head. “Not really. I tell it like it is. A trait that can complicate relationships at times.”
“I like truth and directness. I don’t like trying to figure out what people mean.”
“Something else we have in common.”
I smile. “How long have we been dating?”
“You decide.”
Shrugging, I shake my head. “Maybe we should keep it kind of short to explain why we might not know some things about each other.”
“Fine, but will they think it’s odd that you’re bringing me home to meet them already?”
“Nope. I’m the spontaneous one, remember? Besides, they’re very welcoming people, and they’ll mostly accept my judgment. So don’t murder all of us or anything, alright?”
“I’ll try not to,” he says in a deadpan tone. “Four months?”
“Four months is good.” I sip my coffee, thinking of more questions I should know the answer to. “What’s your favorite color?”
“Black.”
“That’s not a color. It’s a neutral.”
“I disagree. What’s yours?”
“Pink, but a soft version. Not hot pink.”
“I bet you look nice in that shade.”
“You’ll find out. My wardrobe is full of it.” I nudge his arm. “Do you wear other colors besides black?”
“I have some gray and navy.”
Snickering, I lift my cup. After taking another sip of the cooling coffee, I say, “I bet you’d look amazing in cream or winter white.”
“Winter white? As opposed to summer white?”
“They’re different. Summer white is crisp and clean. Winter white is softer and cozy.”
“I doubt I could pick out the difference. You’re into fashion then?”
“I like to look nice and put together.”
“And you do.”
The flight attendants come back through to take our breakfast orders. I decide on the quiche and Balt gets the same.
“I know your trauma, so I guess I should tell you mine,” I say.
Balt nods, looking interested.
“I nearly drowned when I was twelve. We were on vacation at this cabin up in the Dells.”
“The Dells?”
“Wisconsin Dells. It’s a tourist area. We were boating and I was dancing and just goofing off.
I lost my balance and fell overboard, and I panicked and swallowed a ton of water.
My family wasn’t looking at me when I fell so it took them a few minutes to realize what had happened.
My brother Nantes jumped in after me, but I was sinking.
I was so terrified that I was making it worse, taking on water and unable to fight my way to the surface. ”
“My god.”
“Fortunately, Nantes grabbed me and got me back on the boat. It was close at that point, but he did CPR and I coughed out the water. I haven’t been swimming since.”
“Fair.”
I shrug. “It sucks a little, but any time I’m completely immersed in water, I panic. I can’t soak in the tub too deep, and it took a while before I was comfortable having water on my face at all. Like in the shower.”
“You’re doing better now?”
“Showering is fine, but I haven’t really tested anything else. My mom took me to therapy for a while, but the therapist said the only way to really get over it is by doing it again. No thanks.”
“Understandable.”
“Yeah, so don’t ever suggest we go swimming. My family would know something was off.”
“Thank you for telling me.”
“Sure. Other than that, I’m pretty normal, I think. Friends call me quirky, but in a loveable way. Oh, I probably have ADHD but I haven’t bothered to get diagnosed.”
“Why not?”
I shrug. “It doesn’t interfere with my life, so I just deal with some of the effects.”
“Like?”
“I forget stuff if I don’t write it down. I’ll forget something I’m excited about if I get distracted enough, and I do get distracted often, unless I’m obsessed with a topic. Then it’s my entire life and nothing else matters.”
“Noted.”
“My dating life has been no different or special from anyone else’s.”
“No one serious?”
I shake my head. “Not really. I guess I thought so with my last boyfriend, but obviously it wasn’t. I wanted to focus on my career and enjoy being a young single guy in the big city, and I did until I got wrapped up in him.”
He watches me for a moment before asking, “What’s your dream?”
“I don’t have one. Not anymore.”
Our food arrives and I focus on that instead of the wave of depressing thoughts invading my mood. The quiche is actually pretty decent for airplane food.
I watch Balt sprinkle his with black pepper and butter his roll. His gestures are so elegant and confident. I could learn a thing or two from him.
“Dreams are important,” Balt says after a few minutes. He’s gazing past me out the window. “If the old one doesn’t work anymore, dream a new one.”
“That’s a nice thought.” I blow out a breath. “What’s yours then?”
“Peace.” His voice dips low and soft as he says the word. “Just peace.”
“What does peace look like to you?”
A slight smile tugs at his lips. “Good question. I think I’ll know it when I find it. Stepping away is my chance to do that.”
“It sounds nice. I’m not sure I know what peace is either. Maybe it’s finally feeling at home. I tried to make a place fit that never could. I’d love to wake up and know I’ve found it.”
Balt searches my eyes, leaning in slightly. “That’s a lovely dream.”
For the briefest of moments, I imagine Balt being in my life permanently, both of us chasing peace and home together, finding them in each other’s arms. That’s more of a fantasy than a dream, but it beats the sharp edge of failure any day.
I don’t know if having a beautiful man on my arm will distract my family from the cold, hard truth, but there are worse things I could do.