Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
amadeo
The credits roll on the movie we were watching and as I stand up to stretch, I gasp.
“Look.”
Balt twists around to follow my gaze, smiling at the scene outside the window. You can barely see the other buildings on the property through the blanket of snow falling from the sky. It’s coming fast too, given the layer already covering the grounds.
“You were right.”
I sit down again, snuggling closer. “It’s probably weird, but winter is my second favorite season.”
“Second?”
“Autumn is first. Then winter, spring, and in last place, summer.”
“Why did you say it’s weird?”
“Everyone has a hard-on for summer, but I’ve always been a cool-weather dude. What about you?”
Shrugging, he reaches out and tickles my palm. “Never really thought about it. I suppose I like fall and spring the most. Winter in the city was pretty awful.”
“True. Maybe it’s winter here, at home, that I like. It’s peaceful and clean. The snow never turns black from dirty tires and exhaust fumes. It’s a good excuse to hide away from the world and, if you’re lucky enough, cuddle on the couch with a hot guy.”
“Guess I’m pretty lucky then.”
Smiling, I study his handsome face for a few seconds. “You were great today. With Brogan, I mean.”
“Why wouldn’t I be? Brogan is fun.”
“They are. It helps that you’re queer too, but they don’t always get a great reception from cis men.”
“Why not?”
“There’s a lot of transphobia, even in the queer community. On top of that, Brogan doesn’t fit neatly in the ‘man’ box. They do their own thing when it comes to gender presentation, and some people just don’t get it.”
“That’s absolute bullshit. It isn’t up to other people to get it, but I know that’s easy for me to say. Acceptance is important.”
“It is. I was the first person Brogan came out to. They were so scared their parents were gonna flip out, and it was hard at first, but they never rejected Brogan. My aunt and uncle even took classes to understand and learn how to best support Brogan.”
“It’s wonderful to have an accepting family.”
“We figured they had an inkling something was different about Brogan. They never conformed to traditional gender constructs, but I’m guessing everyone thought they’d be a lesbian and not an actual boy.”
“Are they happy now?”
“Mostly, yeah. I think they want to find love, but I guess most people do.”
Balt nods, an introspective expression on his face. “Right.”
I stretch my arms above my head again, then rest my head on Balt’s strong chest. “I have a question.”
“Sure.”
“What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done? Or want to do and haven’t yet.”
A sexy smirk spreads across his lips as I tilt my head up to look at him.
“Kinky, huh? Let me think.” After a moment, he nods.
“I dated a guy who was really into pain. He liked being restrained and spanked, or using clamps and things like that. I was a lot younger and had no experience with that, but I was up for it. Turns out I did not get off on causing someone else pain, no matter how into it he was.”
“Oof. That sounds rough.”
“It was. There was no reason to end things other than I wasn’t turned on by it and was reluctant to do it.”
“Bummer.”
Balt nods. “Your turn.”
“I’ve never done anything kinky.” I sigh, twisting slightly to face him.
“But you want to?”
“I don’t know if it’s a full-on kink, but…”
Balt pokes my stomach. “But?”
If I ever want it to happen, I have to be brave enough to tell someone. “I think it would be so hot to be asleep and have my lover pleasing himself with my body.”
Balt raises a single eyebrow. “Go on.”
“Or, like, waking me up with a blow job or fingering me. Doing whatever he wanted to do to me even when I’m sleeping.”
“Somnophilia,” Balt says. “It’s a full-on kink.”
I feel my cheeks heat. “It has a name?”
“It does.” Balt lifts my hand and traces designs on my palm. “That would be really hot, huh? And you’ve never had someone do that?”
“I’ve never told anyone and no one has tried it.”
“But you told me.”
I nod. “I did. Have you done it?”
He shakes his head. “No. Morning sex a few times, but we were both awake and aware.”
“Yeah, morning sex is different.”
“Tell me your fantasy. What does this look like to you?”
My body heats as the question lingers between us. I’ve never admitted this to anyone, not even Brogan, or my best friend back in college.
“You’re safe with me, love.”
Balt’s sweet reassurance pulls the words from my lips, erasing any remaining hesitation.
“It’s the middle of the night.” I lift my gaze to him. “I’ve been asleep for hours. I’m having a dream—groping hands, a warm mouth. My dick is hard and dripping.”
He rubs the back of my neck. “And then?”
“And then I realize I’m not dreaming. Someone is in bed with me, touching me, exploring without my awareness.”
“Without your consent?”
I shake my head. “No. The consent is understood. We’ve talked about it before. My lover would never take from me without knowing he could.”
A smile tugs at his lips. “Tell me more.”
“His fingers invade me, slipping inside to loosen me up. He pulls me into him and I gasp awake as he slides his cock inside me.”
Balt swallows hard as his gaze heats even more. “Yes.”
“Now I know what he’s doing, and it makes me so happy that my body can give him the pleasure he needs, and that he knows he can have me whenever he wants to.” I drag my finger down his cheek. “Even if I’m sleeping.”
“Jesus,” Balt mutters. “That sounds fucking hot.”
“Doesn’t it?”
He nods. “Are you telling me this because you’d like it to happen?”
“More than I can even express.”
Balt brushes his fingers under my chin. “Hmm. I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thank you.”
He searches my eyes before lifting my hand again and kissing my palm. “Actually, you reminded me of a desire I thought of a long time ago but never pursued.”
“Ooh, tell me, please.”
“Edging.”
I tilt my head. “Giving or receiving?”
I notice the hesitation in his expression before he blows out a soft breath. “Receiving.”
This is a surprise. “Why does it appeal to you?”
“I’ve been fortunate enough in life to get almost everything I want, especially with lovers. The idea of someone taking that from me, of controlling my desire, is… intriguing.”
“What does that look like to you? Do you want to be told when you can come? Do you want to wear a cage on that incredible cock of yours?”
“Fuck,” he whispers. “Where did you come from?”
I chuckle, climbing onto his lap to face him. I drape my arms around his shoulders, leaning in to brush our lips together. “Answer the question.”
Balt grins, shaking his head. “Give me a second to collect my thoughts.”
I grind into him. “Sure thing.”
He squeezes my ass as we rock together, his eyes roaming across my face.
“I want to be sucked to the edge but not allowed to go over,” he says, his voice deep and raspy.
“I want to be fucked with a dick, with a toy, with anything, until I’m begging to come.
I want—” He pauses to clear his throat. “I want to be absolutely and completely drained, all at the whim of someone else.”
“You… you want to be fucked?”
He nods. “I’ve never… Not with someone.”
“You fucked yourself with toys?”
Balt nods and my stomach flutters with excitement.
“Fuck, that’s hot. You’ve never had a real live dick inside you?”
He shakes his head, his breathing stuttering.
“And you told me.” I echo his earlier words. “Is that because you want to make it happen?”
He searches my eyes for a moment, sliding his hands over my shoulders and down my arms. “I don’t know what it is about you.
I’ve barely known you for a full forty-eight hours, but there’s something about you—a spark in your eyes or a warmth in your smile that weakens my defenses.
So yeah, I’m telling you because I want to make it happen. ”
I don’t know what to say in response to his admission.
“Too much?” Balt asks.
“No.” I lean in and kiss him, then press our foreheads together. “I guess that’s why I told you too. We have a unique chemistry.”
“We do.”
I sit up, and as possibilities swirl in my head, my smile grows. “I think we can have a lot of fun together.”
“I think so too.”
“Tell you what, you don’t tell me when you plan my kink and I won’t warn you about yours.”
He flicks his tongue across his lips. “Deal.”
I grind into his lap, noting how hard his cock is. I’m right there too. “I could get on my knees right now and take care of you.”
“You could.”
“Or…?” I grin, letting my unspoken words hang in the air.
“Yeah, that,” Balt says, gruffly. “Make me suffer. Make me beg for you.”
“All this power might go to my head.”
“I can handle it.” He wraps his hand around the front of my neck, gripping but not squeezing. “But please let me kiss and touch you freely. I want to be edged, not tortured.”
“You’re free to kiss and touch me.” I run my hands down his chest. “And you have my absolute consent to ravage me when I’m sleeping.”
“I’m so fucking hard right now. You are too damn sexy, Deo.”
“So are you.” I force myself off his lap, as much as I’d rather ride him. “We still have a couple of hours to kill before dinner.”
“Another movie to distract us?”
“That works.”
Balt grabs the remote and flips through our options, but my mind isn’t on any movie choice.
All I can think about is how I’m going to turn this man inside out.
I may not have top energy, but what I do have is blind confidence and audacity.
He trusted me with this, and I plan to make it worth it to him.
I’m gonna rock his world.