Chapter 3 Sasha
THREE
SASHA
Aweek had passed, and I still felt as haggard as I had previously. I just felt… exhausted, with everyone and everything. I needed an out, and I knew it. And the only thing I could think of to get that out was to do what my mom suggested.
So, I filled out the application to be my niece’s live-in nanny.
I did, however, change my name on the application.
I just left off my last name and used only my first and middle name.
I didn’t want to flat-out lie, but I knew if my last name were on there, he’d take one look at my application and toss it, and I needed that job to get away.
I didn’t want to risk running into Steven and Nikki again, so I switched coffee shops.
I was sitting in the back corner booth with my back against the wall and my knees in the air as I kept my feet on the seat.
I scrolled through social media on my phone while sipping my hot chocolate when an email came through.
I didn’t recognize the address, so I swiped on my screen until I could pull up the latest email in my inbox.
I skimmed the message and saw I was being asked to come in for an interview for the nanny position. I was floored that I’d even gotten that far in the process until I saw that the email wasn’t sent from Roman but from his assistant.
I quickly typed out a reply and sent it, confirming that I would be able to make it to the interview that was set for just a few days later, giving me plenty of time to pack my things and talk to my guidance counselor about switching my classes to online until I could transfer to another school to do in-person learning.
It was time I moved on. I’d been nothing but miserable, even before all the shit happened with Steve and Nikki.
I didn’t feel like I belonged. I told myself it would get better, but I was deceiving myself.
It was time that I admitted that maybe if I didn’t feel like I was home, then perhaps I wasn’t in the right place.
Realizing this felt like I was finally able to set down all the weight I’d been carrying around.
I felt lighter, as if I could breathe more deeply.
I even felt a little happier, and that’s when I knew that making this move was right for me.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t realize that I was no longer alone.
Someone cleared their throat, and I gasped as my head popped up, finding Steve in front of me. He wet his lips and nervously ran a hand through his dark hair.
“Can we talk for a minute?”
I swallowed, knitting my brows. “What? No.”
He rolled his eyes. “I guess I deserve that.”
I opened my mouth in shock.
He guessed he deserved that? “
Did I deserve getting to walk in on my boyfriend and best friend having sex?”
It looked like guilt washed over him; even his eyes changed somehow.
“No, that’s what I wanted to talk with you about.” Without waiting for permission, he slid into my booth, making me pull my feet back to keep him from sitting on them. He twisted his upper body to face me as my back straightened off the wall.
“I want you to know how sorry I am. I know I fucked up. I treated you like shit, and I’m sorry for that. This isn’t who I am. I honestly don’t know what’s gotten into me. I’ve never been the cheating kind. My head is just all fucked up lately.” He fisted his hair, tugging at the root.
I was frozen in place, unable to believe he was sitting next to me again, saying these things.
“Wait… What do you think is going to happen here?” I asked, motioning between the two of us. “Did you really think that you could just sit down, say a few words, and I’d forget everything that happened between us?”
His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as his jaw clenched. “Well, no… But I was hoping that maybe it would be the first step in fixing things.”
“Fixing things?”
He nodded and shrugged one shoulder.
“There’s nothing to fix, Steve. You fucked my best friend. There’s no coming back from that.”
He sighed.
“Sash…” he breathed my name like he used to. It used to be the key to my undoing, hearing him say my name like that. Suddenly, it no longer had the same effect.
“Move.”
He turned his head to look at me in confusion. “What?”
“I said move. I’m leaving. Let me up.”
“Don’t do this, Sash…”
“Move, or I’ll scream,” I warned.
“Alright, fuck,” he mumbled before standing. He motioned with his arm for me to stand and walk ahead of him, and I took advantage of that opportunity.
I quickly slid my butt out of the seat and rushed toward the door.
I was done. I wasn’t going to wait a couple of days to leave everything behind.
I was going to start packing the moment I got back to my dorm.
Mentally, I made plans to meet my guidance counselor the following day so I could be driving home by lunchtime.
Finally, having a plan in place after all the months I’d been suffering in silence gave me a boost of energy that I used to walk to my dorm.
The minute I was inside, I grabbed my luggage from beneath my bed, and I started packing. Morning couldn’t come fast enough.
I looked up at the high-rise in front of me. Based on the email, I was instructed to make my way to the top floor for the interview.
This was way different than the cozy little home Chloe and Roman had purchased when they’d gotten together. It had been Chloe’s dream home.
But this?
My sister would hate it.
But maybe that’s why he decided to move deep into the city. As a means to forget. I could understand that. It was why I chose a university hours away rather than the one here in the same city I’d grown up in.
The house they’d had before Roman moved to this place wasn’t a mansion or anything.
It was a stone cottage that looked as if it had been taken straight out of a fairy tale.
The stones were multicolored in neutral tones of brown, cream, and gray.
All the large windows were framed in brown, which perfectly matched the color of the sloped roof.
There were small balconies on a couple of the upper bedrooms, and the east wall of the house was covered in climbing vines.
The landscaping around the house made it seem as if nature were slowly reclaiming it.
The drive was brick, long, and it turned into a circle in front of the house.
I remembered when my sister and Roman bought the property, how excited she was, and how overwhelmed Roman was with all her plans. My sister was the romantic type, and she thought the house would be the center of their epic love story. Just remembering it made me feel closer to her.
That time was gone now, though. Chloe was buried, and Roman had changed.
I took a deep breath as I stepped up to the door before pushing through.
The doorman wasn’t at his station, so I took the opportunity to get to the elevator.
Hastily, I pressed the button for the top floor.
The elevator lurched upward, making my stomach jolt.
My heart raced. I hadn’t seen Roman since the funeral.
That was the day he walked out on our family and never looked back.
The elevator stopped at the top, and I got out. The door to go into the apartment was in front of me. I drew in another calming breath before I pushed the doorbell.
The door opened, and a woman stood before me.
“Can I help you?” she asked with a no-nonsense tone. She was tall, blonde, and looked like she’d drown if she went out in a rainstorm.
“Yes, I’m here for the nanny interview. My name is Sasha.”
“Right this way.” She turned away, and I stepped inside.
I closed the door behind me and took a deep breath, realizing that the place was a literal mansion inside. Cold. Hollow. It was as if winter had blown in and summer never came. Everything was just so modern, not remotely comforting.
As the lady led me through the house, my eyes moved over every inch of the place, noticing that the walls were bare. There were no sweet pictures of Sophia. I hadn’t seen her after the funeral. Roman just up and took off, taking her with him.
The woman opened the door to the study, and she held it as I stepped inside. Another woman was sitting behind the desk, and she looked much nicer than the woman who greeted me at the door.
“Ah, please come in and have a seat,” the woman said, motioning across the desk from her.
I pushed myself forward, and once I was close enough, she stood and held out her hand to shake. I did so, noticing she had a firm grip.
“Please, have a seat.”
I sat down and turned to look at the door.
It had been closed, and the woman who brought me in was gone.
I was glad she wasn’t the one interviewing me, but I did wonder who she was and what she did around the house.
Of course, Roman had a full staff. He had a nanny, as well as probably maids and cooks.
“My name is Monica Spelling. I’m the personal assistant to Roman Ford, and I’ll be the one conducting your interview today.”
“It’s nice to meet you.”
“You as well,” she said, taking her seat. “So, I was looking over your resume, and it looks like you don’t have much experience in childcare. Is that right?”
“Well… no official professional experience, that is. Of course, I have hands-on experience.”
“How so?” she asked, arching her brow.
I wet my lips and took a deep inhale to prepare myself for the speech I’d memorized.
“I had siblings growing up, so I’m used to being around kids,” I lied.
The only sibling I had was my sister, and she was older.
“I would also babysit in high school. That’s how I made all my money back in those days before I could legally work.
I have a niece as well that I used to watch all the time.
” Another lie. I never had the chance to babysit her before, aside from watching her sleep through Chloe’s funeral.
“And I did take a child care education class back in high school when I was thinking about going into that field.”
“But that’s not what you’re currently going to school for now, is it?”
“No, I changed my major. I’m majoring in computer science.”
“Why the change?”
I shrugged. “I wanted something that would bring in more income. Figured if I was going to go into debt, I may as well pick something that would pay it off a little faster.”
“Do you like children?” she asked, marking on a piece of paper like she was keeping score.
“I do.”
She put her pen down and locked her eyes with mine.
“So this job is around-the-clock care. Monday through Friday. It’s not like a regular job where you have a designated time for lunch.
If you want lunch, you eat when she eats, or you wait until nap time.
It really will be like she is your own child.
The goal is to hire another nanny to cover the weekend shifts, giving you some time off.
However, until I find someone, I’ll be the weekend relief.
You won’t even have nights off. You’ll put her to bed and get up with her if she wakes.
It’s a lot for anyone to take on, and you’re so young, I’m worried that you’re getting more than you’re bargaining for. ”
“No, it’s fine,” I assured her. “I need this job. I need the pay, and I need the place to stay.”
“I feel like I should warn you. We have a hard time keeping people in this position.”
“Why is that? Is the child troubled?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“No, it’s nothing like that. The child… she’s as sweet as can be.
It’s her father. He… well, he lost his wife, and he hasn’t been the same since.
He isn’t involved with his daughter in any sense of the word.
He can be…” She bit down on her lower lip as she thought.
“Unpleasant, to say the least. He sets impossible standards and then is very vocal when his standards can’t be met.
But word is getting out, and fewer and fewer people are interested in accepting this job, so we can’t afford to be picky.
I did a background check on you last week when you applied for the job. ”
“You did?”
She nodded. “You came back clean. I was wondering why you wouldn’t put your last name on the application, but then I reminded myself that we couldn’t afford to be picky.
Whatever you’re hiding isn’t any legal matter, or it would’ve been on your background check.
So whatever your reasons are, they are just that. Your reasons.”
“Are you offering me the job?”
The corners of her mouth pulled upward. “Will you take the job?”
I smiled widely as relief washed through me. “Of course.”
“Welcome to the team,” she said, standing and holding out her hand to shake. “I hope you’re tough. You’ll need to be.”
I swallowed but nodded.
I could handle Roman.