Chapter 10
TEN
ROMAN
It had been a long ass day. I was tired as fuck, cranky, and hungry.
All I wanted to do was go home and eat. I wanted a hot meal, a cold drink, and a long shower to decompress.
I was annoyed the instant I pulled into the parking garage because I noticed the Mercedes wasn’t there, meaning Sasha and Sophia hadn’t made it home.
If they hadn’t made it home, then I knew there was no dinner on the table.
And above all else, I wanted something to eat.
As I walked into my home, I mentally bitched at myself for getting rid of the staff.
It was time to start fresh, but I hadn’t had the time to replace them yet.
Walking into the silent penthouse was weird. It had never been quiet before. There was always Sophia and her nannies making noise, or the staff I kept employed. But they were all gone, and I was alone.
I listened as I slowly looked around the room. It was dark despite the large windows. A storm was rolling in, so the sunshine had checked out, and dark clouds blotted out the sky. I took a deep breath and pushed myself forward as I checked the time on my watch.
It was only a little after five, so I figured that Sasha was picking Sophia up from daycare. Walking through the house, I noticed that every room was clean, even though it never really got messy. I went to the kitchen, finding the room clean and dimly lit, as if the room hadn’t been used all day.
There was no sign of food, not even a scent that clung to the air from an earlier meal.
My stomach rumbled, but I tightened the muscles and turned to walk down the hall to go to my home office.
I wondered what Sasha planned on preparing and how long it would take.
My stomach continued to rumble, and I bitched to myself about how I shouldn’t have skipped lunch.
I dropped my briefcase on my desk before moving to the corner of the room to pour myself a stiff drink.
There was a glass dish on the cart, filled with salted nuts.
I removed the lid and scooped out a handful before replacing the lid.
I tossed a few of the nuts into my mouth as I made my way back to my desk.
I sipped my whiskey and opened my laptop to check my email.
The computer chimed with a few notifications, but I ignored them as I pulled up a local food delivery site. I didn’t know if Sasha had plans to cook a meal, as she was supposed to, but I knew I was hungry. Even if she did have plans, it would be hours before it was done, since she wasn’t even home.
I ordered myself a steak with a baked potato, steamed vegetables, and a slice of apple pie for dessert. Once my order was placed, I began checking emails and replying.
I lost track of time as I kept myself occupied with work.
I didn’t snap back to reality until I heard someone ring the doorbell.
I pushed myself up and headed toward the door, where a man stood with my food in a bag.
I took the bag and slipped him a few dollars as a tip.
While I was digging through my wallet, the elevator dinged, signaling someone was on their way up.
“Thanks,” I told the deliveryman as I stepped inside and closed the door. I went into the kitchen to plate my dinner. After a moment or two, I heard the door open, and the girls walked in.
“Okay, Sophia. Go ahead and take off your jacket and shoes. I’ll be in the kitchen, OK?”
A second later, Sasha stepped into the room, coming to an abrupt stop when she saw me.
“Oh, I didn’t know you were in here.” Her hand moved to her chest to quiet her heart, so I knew I scared her.
“What did I say? Dinner will be on the table when I get home. Remember that?” I looked around the kitchen. “I’m home and yet, I see no dinner.”
She let out a breath so deep that it made her chest visibly fall.
“I know. I’m sorry. I just thought I’d order in since I’ve been so busy today with getting settled and cleaning up around here.
Apparently, a new girl is working at the daycare because she gave me so much crap about picking up Sophia. It took longer than it should have.”
I picked up my plate. “Well, don’t worry about ordering anything for me. I’m covered.” I opened the drawer and retrieved a knife and fork, then I turned toward the hall, wanting to eat in the peace of my office.
“Tomorrow, I expect you to do the job you’re being paid for.” I pushed the door open and stepped out of the kitchen without looking back.
I could tell that I had upset her by the expression on her face, and I felt slightly guilty about it.
It wasn’t my goal to hurt her, but fuck, I wasn’t exactly happy about not having dinner when I got home either.
She could have called me or sent a text explaining the situation, so I’d know to grab something on my way home.
Fuck, a carrier pigeon would have gotten the job done, but instead, she thought she’d get some slack just because…
what? It was her first day? If she only knew how many people I’d fired on their first day, she would’ve made sure there was some kind of food ready to eat.
I heard the girls’ voices echoing down the hall and into my office.
Annoyance flooded my blood as I stood and moved to the door to close it.
I had heard Sophia and her nannies before, but there was something different about hearing her with Sasha.
With Sasha being older than the last time I saw her, she sounded different, too.
Her voice wasn’t as soft or squeaky. She sounded like an adult, like Chloe in the earlier years of our relationship. Hearing what sounded like my wife talking and playing with our daughter caused a pain to form in my chest. That pain flooded my stomach, making me nauseous.
Luckily, by that point, I’d already eaten most of the dinner, so it didn’t go to complete waste. I couldn’t finish it, though. I pushed my plate away and instead picked up the whiskey. I threw back what was left in the glass before I went for more.
Hours passed. I lost track of time as I hid in my office, drinking, and pretending like the little work I was doing was important. It wasn’t. I was a coward who couldn’t face his daughter.
When things quieted down, I stood with my dirty dishes and took them to the kitchen. Things had been cleaned up. There wasn’t a dish in sight, not a food wrapper, or a crumb.
I scraped my plate off into the trash, finding the remnants of their dinner.
I shouldn’t have been surprised to see boxes from the local pizza place.
Sophia was like Chloe. Both of them could live off pizza.
Not that I knew my daughter that well, but that’s what the nannies had told me over the years.
I made the connection between mother and daughter on my own, based on their input.
Guilt hit me again at not even knowing my daughter.
I put my plate in the sink, running some water over it so food wouldn’t stick.
Then I set the plate on the bottom before going back to my office.
I took in the house as I walked through.
Certain lamps were always left on at night, so it would be easy to see if you walked through the place too late.
All of those lights were on, and all others were off.
I took that to mean that the ladies had called it a night.
That, mixed with the silence, I found myself lost in it.
I walked into my office, seeing no need to shut the door behind me.
I stepped to the window overlooking the balcony.
Chicago was brightly lit against the night sky.
I leaned my head against the window frame as I stared at the world, remembering the last night I saw Chloe.
She was still pregnant with Sophia. The way she looked the day she died flashed through my mind. Long purple dress. Her blond curls tumbled around her. Her eyes were bright and filled with excitement.
She’d walked toward me, that smile I adored on her pretty face. I thought I had the entire world in my hands, and really, I did. I was a lucky man. Chloe was everything and more.
In the memory, she stopped in front of me and rested her hands on my chest.
I reached out and placed my hands on her hips, my heart full.
I didn’t think it could ever get better than it did. I loved her endlessly.
“I love you,” I whispered to her before brushing my lips against hers.
“Mm, I love you too,” she answered.
My body started to come to life as she pressed against me. Fuck, what she could do to me with a simple look. I thought about how she wrapped herself around me, kissing me as I moved to press her closer to our bed.
“Roman?” Sasha called out, snapping me from my memory.
My dick was half hard from thinking back on that time with my wife. I didn’t want to turn to face her and have her notice. I slid my hands into my pockets to take away from the bulk in that area, and glanced at her from over my shoulder.
“We knock before entering a room in this house,” I told her, turning to walk back to my desk.
She pressed her lips into a tight line.
“I’m sorry. I just saw that the door was open…”
“What do you want?” I asked, taking my place behind my desk.
I looked up at her, noticing the tiny cotton shorts she was wearing.
They were flannel—pink and blue—and she wore a thin, white cami lined with lace.
It hugged every curve and drew my attention to the way her large breasts strained beneath the material.
My cock throbbed with need, and that only pissed me off more.
What the fuck, Roman? Get it together…
“Well,” she said, stepping closer. “I just got Sophia to sleep.”
“And?”
“And,” she continued. “We were talking before bed, and she told me that you don’t tell her goodnight. Is that true?”
I sighed and rolled my eyes. “I tell her when I can. Why is this any of your concern?”
“She’s your daughter, Roman. You’re the only parent she has left, and you can’t be bothered to tell her goodnight?”
“Like I said, I tell her when I can. I’m a busy man, Sasha. I don’t have time for bedtime stories and promises I’ll never be able to deliver.”
“Even you have to know how fucked up this is. She’s just a little girl.”
“It’s none of your business how I do things in my household. You’re paid to cook, clean, and take care of Sophia. You’re not paid to come in here and tell me everything I’m doing wrong. Do your fucking job and let me do mine. Is that understood?”
She took a deep breath, snapped her mouth closed, and turned for the door.
“And there better be dinner tomorrow,” I told her as she exited my office without another word.
I clenched my jaw in anger and annoyance.
Who the fuck did she think she was telling me how to raise my daughter?
She wasn’t my wife. She wasn’t my girlfriend. She was just a paid employee. If it hadn’t been for the family connection, I would have fired her the moment I came home to an empty kitchen.
I’d had too much to drink to drive, but I hadn’t had enough to drink to sleep.
And thanks to the throbbing problem in my pants, there was no way I was going to fall asleep until it was taken care of.
I pulled out my cell and called for my driver—the only staff member I hadn’t fired.
I could get away with getting rid of the maid and cook if I had a nanny, but I knew I’d get drunk eventually and need a sober driver, so his job was always safe.
I stayed in my office until I received the notification of his arrival, then I marched outside and slid into the back seat.
“Where to, sir?”
“The bar.”
An hour and a half later, I was drunk as shit and lying on some random woman’s bed as she buried my cock in the back of her throat.
I fisted her hair and pulled her away with one hand. The other was bringing the condom package to my mouth, where I ripped it open with my teeth. I took out the rubber and slid it into place.
Before I could move, she was taking her place on top of me. Her hands were on my shoulders as she lowered herself onto my dick. Her heat was all around me as I grabbed her hips, pulling her down with power and speed. Her head fell back, and she gasped at the connection.
“Fuck… I’ve missed you, Roman,” she whimpered as she ground her clit against me.
I didn’t respond. I came to Lori as a last resort. I enjoyed the time we spent together, but I had to break away when she started to get too serious. She thought we could be something we couldn’t.
My hands tightened on her hips, ready to roll her beneath me so I could pound into her until I couldn’t move another muscle.
“Relax, Roman. I know what you like.” She bit her lower lip and met my eyes before she started lifting and falling back down rather than that grinding shit.
Instead of rolling her over like I’d been thinking about, I lifted her and jerked her back down. My hips started lifting off the bed, matching her thrust for thrust. Her head went back, and a breathy moan escaped. I closed my eyes and pretended I was somewhere else, that I was with someone else.
In my head, I went back to that memory of Chloe where I’d left off.
I thought about sliding into my wife, how hot and tight she always was.
I remembered the sounds she would make, how each one of them made my cock throb with need as I inched closer and closer to breaking.
I thought about how she looked riding me, how her blonde hair would fall over my shoulder, how her mouth would fall open into an O-shape, how her breasts felt in the palms of my hands.
That’s when I fell apart, coming so hard I saw stars.
And still, it did nothing for me.
The pain still resided deep inside my chest. In my soul.
I fucking hated life. I realized in that moment that this wasn’t a life. It was an existence.
And a really fucking shitty one at that.