Chapter 33 Sasha
THIRTY-THREE
SASHA
Iliked seeing Roman get jealous. He could be standing in the middle of a room full of men, and he’d be the only one I saw.
He didn’t notice, though, because he couldn’t see past everyone else to see where my attention was.
Roman always seemed so calm, so collected, as if he were untouchable, so it was nice to see him humbled. I also found it incredibly sexy.
After dinner, we went back to the hotel, but we didn’t go straight to our room.
Instead, we stopped at the bar for drinks.
He ordered for both of us while I went up to the room to get out of my dress.
It was entirely way too formal for the hotel bar, especially since the bar also spilled out onto the patio that was surrounded by paper lantern string lights and tiki torches.
I changed into a white cotton maxi dress, something comfortable but still cute. I let down my hair and combed my fingers through the curls to unknot them before heading back down.
Roman was sitting at the bar with a drink before him, eyes on the TV that hung behind the bar.
It wasn’t a busy night for the hotel bar, but it was still early, and there were a few others around.
I took the seat next to him, and he looked over at me.
I saw the way his eyes dropped down my body as he took me in.
When they returned to mine, I noticed how much they’d darkened.
“I like your hair down,” he told me, reaching over and placing his hand on my thigh as he gave it a light squeeze.
I picked up my drink from the bar. “I liked seeing you get jealous,” I admitted.
He looked at me with his brows lifted, like he was surprised by my admission. “Is that so?”
I giggled and took a sip. “Mhmm.” I nodded.
He placed his glass on the bar and turned to face me. “Why is that?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess it’s because…” I leaned toward him and lowered my voice. “I guess it’s because this is my first real relationship. I’ve never had anyone lay claim to me before, but I like that you think I’m yours.”
The corner of his mouth twitched like he was holding back a smile.
He nodded, silently asking me to move closer.
When I did, he placed his lips at my ear, and he whispered, “I don’t think you’re mine, Sasha.
You are mine.” He nipped the shell of my ear with his teeth, causing a wave of heat to wash over me.
A smile immediately tugged at my lips, but before I could pull away, he was cupping my jaw and pressing his mouth to mine. My lips parted, allowing his tongue to slip inside to tangle with my own. Every sweep only made my blood boil hotter until tingles of need overtook my entire body.
I wondered if everyone felt that way after getting into a relationship. I remembered all my friends becoming boy-crazy, but I didn’t think anyone had what Roman and I shared. The need I felt for him was more substantial than anything else I’d ever experienced.
“I want to dance,” I told him, breaking our kiss and standing as I reached for my drink.
He looked at me with amusement on his face, but he stood and followed me outside to the patio, where music was playing. There were a couple of tables scattered about, but they were all empty. Even though we were outside, in a public area, we were all alone.
I turned to face him, and I wrapped one arm around his neck, tugging him closer.
He put both hands on my hips and moved with me to the beat of the music.
I loved the way his hands felt, holding me to him.
Another couple exited the bar and crossed the patio, taking a seat at the table in the darkened corner.
He didn’t blink or even look away from my face.
It was like all he could see was me, and I loved feeling like I was the center of the universe to him.
He didn’t pull away or even try putting an inch of space between us.
He didn’t care if people were around. He made me feel like I was the most important. I had all of his attention.
I spun around, pressing my backside against him as I moved my hips from side to side.
He squeezed my hip and pulled me closer, allowing me to feel his hardness pressed against my ass.
Every muscle tightened in appreciation. His lips moved to my ear, and his breathing washed over my neck and cheek.
I let my head lull to the side, hoping he took the invitation.
It only took a moment before he dipped his head forward to press a kiss below my ear.
“It’s too bad we’re not alone,” he whispered.
I turned my head to talk to him from over my shoulder. “We could be.”
“Ready to retire to the room already?”
I spun back around, draping my arms over his shoulder. A lazy smile tugged at my lips as I shook my head. “Maybe we could find some privacy out here.”
His brows lifted. “Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”
I shrugged. “When else are we going to have a chance like this? Getting caught here is risky, but getting caught at home…That’s just asking for trouble.”
“Maybe I don’t want to get caught at all.”
My brows knitted together.
He squeezed my hips, causing my dress to pull up slightly. “I don’t even want to risk someone seeing you like that. Just thinking about someone watching you, or fuck, taking pictures or videos to post online…” He shook his head. “I’d kill someone.” He moved in, trailing kisses up my throat.
My head fell back as a smile tugged at my lips.
“So protective,” I teased. “I thought you were the type to push a woman’s panties to the side so you could fuck her that much faster. I thought you were the kind of guy who would bend over a stranger in a public bathroom, fuck her against the wall in the back alley.”
He chuckled. “I’m not saying that I haven’t done those things. I have.” He pulled back and looked into my eyes as his hands moved up to cup my face. “I just don’t want to be that person with you. You mean too much for me to treat you like you’re disposable.”
I knew that his words were supposed to make me feel special, and they did—in a way—but mostly, they made me jealous.
He was everything to me. I wanted to be everything to him.
I wanted to be the woman he gave his heart to.
I wanted to be the woman he built a life with.
But I also wanted to be the woman he could be himself with, and that side of him was still there, even if his physical needs were being met in the privacy of our bedroom.
“What is it?” he asked, noticing my hesitation.
“I want all of you,” I told him.
His brows furrowed. “You have all of me.”
I shook my head gently. “No, I don’t. Not if you’re keeping that side of yourself hidden away from me.”
His hands fell from my face. “Are you seriously mad that I don’t want to treat you like some whore I picked up in a bar?”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m not mad about it. I’m just…”
“What?” he asked, now looking more amused than angry.
“I want everything, Roman. I want everything you gave all those other women, and I want everything you didn’t. I. Want. It. All.”
He gently shook his head as he ran his tongue over his lips. “I can’t believe I’m even considering this.”
I smiled, seeing that I was about to get my way.
“If we do this, you can’t get mad about how cold I am, or how differently I treat you. It really is like you’re asking me to show you an entirely different person. Do you understand that?”
I nodded. “I understand.”
“And you’re okay with it? You’re sure this is what you want?”
I let my arms fall away from my chest, and I nodded.
“Fine.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the sidewalk.
I was expecting him to take me inside to the bar’s restroom, but instead, he started leading me down the sidewalk that wrapped around the hotel and down to the start of the beach.
I didn’t ask where he was taking me. I just followed his every step as we moved around to the backside of the hotel.
There was a privacy fence that came off a section of the building.
Based on the smell, it was concealing a dumpster.
I spun around to face him, expecting him to let me pull him down for a kiss, but before I could even reach him, he gripped a handful of my hair, and he turned me so my back was to him.
He stepped forward, pinning me between the fence and his chest. With his mouth at my ear, he said, “Remember, you asked for this.”
I nodded and swallowed thickly.
His arms moved around me, and his hands cupped my breasts.
He squeezed them as he kissed my neck. I rolled my head to the side as my eyes fell closed, exposing more of my throat to him.
He continued to kiss his way to my ear as his hands moved to my hips, his fingers working my dress higher and higher until he could reach up under it.
His fingers dipped between my legs, where he began applying gentle pressure to my clit from over my panties.
He moved his finger in a circular motion, bringing my body to life.
A whimper left my lips, and the moment it did, he swept his fingers beneath the fabric and dipped them inside.
Gathering my wetness, he worked his way between my folds. Then suddenly, he pulled back.
“Pull your panties down,” he ordered as he worked on freeing himself from his jeans.
I pulled them down to the middle of my thighs, but before I could get them any lower, he was grabbing my hips and positioning himself at my entrance.
I didn’t have any time to brace myself. One minute, I was empty, and the next, he was filling me: hard, fast, to the point of stretching uncomfortably.
I gasped in response to his roughness, but he didn’t pause like he usually would.
He wasn’t letting me adjust to having him inside me.
He was zero to one-hundred in a second flat.
He wasn’t touching me, he wasn’t savoring, he wasn’t kissing; he was fucking.
He was using my body to get a release out of his.
I kept asking myself why did I want this?
I didn’t like what was happening between us, but I was thankful that he showed me a part of himself that he kept hidden.
It gave me an even clearer look into his past, into his pain.
I felt everything he’d been going through since losing her, and I hated it for him.
It made me want to take care of him, be what he needed, love him, and show him how good our lives could be if he would only let it.
The physical pain faded, but the emotional pain was stronger than everything else.
Regardless, I slowly loosened around him, and just when I started to find pleasure from having him inside me, the moment ended.
He jerked, grunted, and pulled away. I looked at him from over my shoulder, finding him tucking everything away.
His eyes met mine, and a glint of guilt shone back at me before he turned his back and finished buttoning up.
I fixed my panties and smoothed down my dress. When I turned to him, he was staring off at the ocean. I touched his shoulder, and he turned to face me, mouth downturned.
“Are you okay?” I asked, concerned.
He scoffed and lifted his brow. “You’re asking if I’m okay?”
I swallowed over the lump in my throat and nodded.
A quiet laugh fell from his lips as he shook his head. “I should be asking you if you’re alright.”
“I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about.”
“How could you possibly be worried about me?”
I bit my lower lip as I thought about how I could explain it to him.
“You gave me everything, Roman. And I felt it. I felt all the anger and pain that you’ve been living with for all this time.
” I reached out and took his hand in mine.
“You don’t have to live that way anymore.
” I placed my free hand on his jaw as I looked into his eyes, hoping that he could see everything I wasn’t telling him.
I prayed that he could feel my love, that he’d accept it, and return it.
The thing was, I could already feel him falling in love with me, but he was too afraid to feel it himself.
I wondered if he’d ever let himself feel it.
He leaned down and caught my mouth with his own, kissing me softly and slowly.
I felt so many emotions in that kiss that my eyes filled with tears.
One rolled down my cheek and landed on his hand that was cupping my jaw.
He broke our kiss, wiped the wetness from my cheek, and said, “Come on. Let’s get to our room so I can show you how you deserve to be treated. ”
I smiled and nodded, and the two of us walked back toward the entrance, hand in hand.
I walked into our room first, while he lingered to lock the door.
I didn’t get to go far, though. I was still within arm’s length when he reached out and grabbed my wrist. I turned to face him, and when I did, he stepped forward.
The two of us met with a hard, fast kiss.
This was the Roman I’d grown to know and love.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he picked me up against him, carried me through the bedroom, and into the attached bathroom. His mouth moved from my lips to my jaw and neck. He kissed, licked, and nibbled as his hands stripped away my dress.
Inch by inch, he brought my body alive, and second after second, I wanted him more than I ever thought possible.
It didn’t take long after we’d both lost our clothes for him to pick me up and carry me into the shower, where he pressed my back to the cold, tile wall.
Reaching between us, he took himself in hand and rubbed his length along my slit, spreading my arousal and coating himself until our bodies glided against one another’s with ease.
Fisting my hair, he jerked my head back until my throat was fully exposed to him.
He bit the curve of my neck as he thrusted into me, causing a loud moan to escape my mouth and echo around the bathroom like a porno playing over a loudspeaker.
That sound did something to him, though, because I felt him twitch inside of me as a growl ripped from his lips.