CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
JORDAN
I woke up the next morning abnormally early, assaulted by sun shining directly on my face. Curtains. That’s what I’d forgotten in my first-night-in-the-apartment haste. My brothers had sent over yet another brand-new king-size bed, which was already waiting for me in the bedroom, when I returned later that night. With a bed, the cookware, and the other basics Axel had bought, I felt ready to begin this new chapter.
I was just missing an assortment of wooden spoons. And Ranger. The thought crashed through me, dampening my new-apartment bliss.
I’d brought over everything I’d been living with in that small bedroom in Seven’s apartment, which helped things feel slightly less sterile and vast. But the place needed a lot of furniture, not to mention my mug collection.
I was off from both jobs today, which meant I had plenty of time to work on the new place and coordinate delivery of the things I’d stored from my last place. By lunchtime, I had everything dropped off, minus the coffee mugs. At two p.m., I got my first text from Seven.
My heart leapt into my throat when I saw his name on the notification screen. Maybe he took the night to cool off. Recalibrate. Personally, I felt more ready to talk things over now. Start mending fences and figure out how to move forward together—with Ranger.
SEVEN: Chico will be on hand if you need to go anywhere. Update him with your schedule when you can.
SEVEN: We’ll need to meet before Friday to go over the plan.
I stared at the screen for what felt like an eternity, a frown growing deeper by the second.
No I miss you or how was the first night. Just business-as-usual. Back to bodyguard square one. I swallowed a knot in my throat and looked around my empty apartment. I’d wanted to share this with him, and he didn’t even care. How did I misread him so terribly? How had I fucked this up?
Seven was the only man I’d truly fallen for, and he was going to act like this? I’d bared my soul to him, and this chill was what I got?
Tears brimmed in my eyes as I struggled to not cry. I never used to cry, not until I met my brothers. Now my emotions were in full view and constantly spilling over. I’d lived for so many years frozen, terrified to emote or get too close to anyone. And lately, I’d had so much warmth that it had melted the frozen casing from my life.
But Seven was showing me maybe I should never have warmed up to him, or anyone else.
There was still plenty of opportunity for me to get hurt, even by the good guys.
JORDAN: Where should we meet?
SEVEN: You can come see the new office if you want.
Was that an olive branch, or a pity twig? I knew nothing anymore. If we’d been together before, this had to mean that we were broken up now. I should not have spent my first night in this apartment without so much as a check-in text from him. I knew this in my bones.
And the stupidest part was that I craved Seven, even though the hurt lashed through me.
JORDAN: Just send me the address and when I should be there.
Seven’s next text held the address and a meet-up time for two days later. I didn’t write back. And neither did he.
Not that day.
Not the next day.
Not even the next.
Chico accompanied me on all my coffee shop and Gemstones shifts. By the morning of the office meet-up, I was so confused that I wasn’t sure how to act around Seven. We’d gone from living together to cold distance. He didn’t ask about the apartment. And now Ranger was caught in the middle. I wanted my cat, but I worried that going there to collect him would be the last time I ever saw the inside of Seven’s apartment.
I’d shared pictures of the progress with Jessa, Mercedes, and Cora in our girl group chat, as well as Damian, Axel, and Trace in my brothers group chat. Hell, Chico had seen the inside of my new apartment multiple times, and Seven had yet to ask.
It hurt more than I wanted to admit even to myself.
When Chico delivered me to the office building, he lingered under the dedication plaque where my and Kaylee’s names were emblazoned, allowing me to visit Seven’s headquarters on my own. When I walked into the stark office area, decorated with only a potted palm set directly in the sunlight streaming in through a big window and an overstuffed chair that formed the waiting area, Seven stepped out of his office to greet me.
The sight of him nearly disabled me. He filled the doorframe, looking somehow completely different than the last time I’d seen him, even though it had only been three days. He wore a light blue button-up with navy slacks, and his hair was slightly shorter and styled just a bit differently. Altogether, he resembled a strange replica of the Seven I’d known. This was Seven the CEO. Equally as hot as the old one, though. He smiled when I approached.
“Hey, Jordan.”
I sized him up, still undecided on how to proceed. I crossed my arms, nibbling at the inside of my lip. “Hey.”
“I’ve been wanting to show you this.”
“Oh, I bet.” There was my answer for how I’d handle this: snark.
He led me into the office, which was a large space with gray vinyl plank flooring, lots of windows, and a big wooden desk. It was sparse, but neat. Exactly as I knew Seven preferred things.
“Looks nice,” I said, sinking into the chair facing his desk. “Good for you.”
“Thanks.” His smile was genuine. “How’s the new place?”
“Good. It’s coming along.” I intertwined my fingers in my lap, focusing on my nail beds as I spoke.
“I’d like to see it sometime,” he said.
I pursed my lips together. “Could have fooled me. You haven’t even done a security check on it.”
“I have,” he answered coolly. “I couldn’t break in.”
I turned this information over in my head. So he’d visited the apartment—without telling me. Without asking to come up. Without even wanting to see me. Just further proof of how distant we’d become. My chest cracked in two, though I wasn’t sure how to explain it to him.
“Well, let’s see this recording equipment,” I said suddenly, shifting forward. I needed to focus on anything other than this overbearing elephant in the room. Seven refusing to acknowledge how drastically things had changed only made me more upset, and I wanted to be out of this place as quickly as possible.
He brought out a small box which contained an assortment of threads and cords that looked like anything but recording devices. He picked up a small capsule, the size of a paperclip.
“These are the ones Federico recommends most,” he said, turning it back and forth between his fingers. “You could even sew them into your top, he said. They’re voice activated, last for up to ten hours on a full charge, and can recharge completely in an hour. Plus, it can store up to ninety hours of recordings.”
“Wow,” I murmured, unable to rip my eyes from the tiny thing. “That would be really easy to hide.”
“There are others.” He pulled out something that looked like a necklace. “Each strip on this is a recording device, but the quality isn’t as good as the first one. It’s an option depending on your costume for the night.”
The mention of my costume made me think back to when he’d ripped my dress off after our last outing, since he couldn’t stand the fact that it was associated with Eli. We’d gone from fucking on his windowsill to this? I worried at my lip.
“Okay,” I said.
Silence thumped between us. Seven watched me curiously, his face creasing with tenderness. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
I nodded without a second of hesitation. “I do. I want to make a difference in somebody’s life. Three people’s lives, actually. No, even more, because if we can pull this off, it’ll affect more than just Axel, Damian, and Trace. My brothers have been working their whole lives in honor of me and Kaylee. It’s time somebody tried to honor them.”
His lips curled into a small smile. For how mad I was at him, I could tell he was proud of me. Especially compared to where we’d started.
“Even if this fails,” I went on, “at least I tried. That’s all I can do.”
“But what if it does fail?” Seven narrowed his eyes. “If Eli finds out and turns on you? He was violent with Cora.”
His question was the uncomfortable beast lurking at the back of the whole thing. I didn’t have a good answer for him. It was a possibility, but one I was willing to confront.
“I guess I’ll just have to figure it out when I’m there,” I said softly. “When we’re there. Because you’ll be there with me, after all.”
His chair creaked as his gaze dropped to the desk. An expectant pause filled the air.
“Jordan—” he started.
Dread coated my insides. I already knew he was preparing himself to deliver some bad news, though I couldn’t say how. “What?”
“This is something else we need to discuss.” His throat bobbed, and for the first time, I sensed real nervousness pouring from him. “I’ve decided to excuse myself from your full-time protection. Chico will be your regular guard from now on.”
I nibbled on the inside of my lip, avoiding his gaze as his words cycled through me.
“To be honest, I should have excused myself a long time ago,” he went on. “Based on how things progressed between us. This decision has been a long time coming. We crossed some lines. Too many lines. And it just…that’s not how I operate.”
I studied the contours of my hands, my nails, the bone in my wrist. Anything to avoid looking at him.
“Chico will handle daily, business-as-usual stuff,” Seven added. “For any time you’re with Eli, Trojan will accompany you. He’s the only person I’d trust in an environment like that. Honestly, he’s even better than me.”
I mulled over his words for a few moments, focusing all my energy on appearing unaffected. Inside, though, everything was crumbling to dust. When I finally lifted my head, I still couldn’t look him in the eye.
“So when will we meet next?” I asked, too afraid to ask the actual question in my heart. Are we really done?
“I have some things to set up to process the recordings and to perform general surveillance outside the house during your next event with Eli,” he said. “So…Friday?”
I nodded, the truth sinking into my bones. Everything inside my head was loud and raucous, pushing me toward the one question burning inside my chest.
“Why haven’t you called or come over to see me?” I could hear the quaver in my own voice, and I hated it. Something inside Seven crumpled at the question, which was a slight relief at least.
“You walked out,” he said. “I thought me coming over was the last thing you wanted.”
I folded my hands in my lap, rubbing at a knuckle. All I wanted from him was a fucking hug. A soft touch. A reminder of what we’d shared. “I was mad.”
“Besides, do you really think that’s a good idea right now?” Seven asked. When I didn’t answer right away, he added, “We both know where that ends up.”
“What’s wrong with it ending up there?” I sniffed, wiping at my eye. It had only been the warmest, safest, most special spot I’d ever known. I thought he’d felt the same. A tear spilled, despite my best intentions.
“Your brothers are my employers. You are my client. We are in the middle of an extremely tense and important operation.” He paused, exhaling sharply. “I don’t know what else to say. I can’t cross that line again, and I won’t.”
I nodded, his words hammering home exactly what I feared: You’re the idiot. You fell in love, and he was just having a moral lapse.
“So all that talk about ‘mine’ was just…” I started, unable to even finish my sentence. The tears were coming for real now, and I needed to leave.
“Jordan, can we please just get through this?” He sounded testy now. And I didn’t need to stick around for yet another round of humiliation and rejection.
“Yep.” I surged to my feet, snapping up the box of recording devices. “I’ll need you to send Ranger to my place when you can. Thanks.” Without another word, I spun on my heel and stormed out of the office.
That was the last time I put my heart on the line.
Because after this, there wouldn’t be any heart left.