Chapter 6
I t was a day off, and once he’d talked himself out of feeling sorry for himself and out of trying to find a solution that would only be temporary, he’d gone down to the building gym to work out his frustration productively.
He’d gone through a set of each of the strengthening exercises he’d been assigned, focusing on pushing himself methodically and as slowly as was safe. That alone had quietened his mind considerably, but once he was in that space, he hadn’t wanted to give it up. He’d drained half his bottle of water and then got on the elliptical, setting it fast enough he couldn’t think without stumbling.
“Hey.”
He did stumble, barely catching himself on the handlebars. Somehow it hadn’t crossed his mind that Levy could come here. He fumbled for the buttons, not quite seeing what he was doing but managing to turn it off somehow.
“Sorry,” Levy told him. He was already a step closer, Kallen could feel him.
“It’s—” He cleared his throat, then turned his face away, looking for his bottle. For a way out.
“Here,” Lev said, and Kallen turned his way, eyes low, to see he was holding out a bottle of water.
He shook his head, stepping down from the machine. “No, I...” He dove for his own bottle like it was the puck about to lose them the game and kept drinking well past what his racing heart thought was necessary. His stomach gurgled. Fuck, the last thing he needed...
“So, you got it too,” the alpha said from behind him. “I won’t do it, that’s what I came to tell you.”
Kallen was twisting around faster than he’d have thought possible off-ice. “What?”
“It’s my... reward or whatever,” Levy muttered, he’d dropped his own eyes. The submissive gesture was so out of place that Kallen couldn’t look away. “I can pass if I want to.”
“You... you do?” His voice was thin, one octave away from breaking.
And Levy finally looked up, eyes shining. “Do I want not to... to make you? After..." He was looking at Kallen like he thought he was crazy. “Kallen, I would never hurt you.”
The truth of it was like a blanket over his shoulders, and he shivered, swallowing hard and looking down. He couldn’t bear it, this kindness. Robert had been kind to him, and it’d made him imagine heat could be like that, that alphas would cuddle him and be silly and sweet. Levy was already doing that, not the cuddling, he was careful about never touching Kallen beyond a shove while they were racing on screen or the hug that one time. But he was sweet, kind. And it was fine because they were friends and friends were kind to each other.
And then he’d seen the message, he’d realised it was all a lie: because Kallen was still an omega, and Levy was still an alpha on his team.
And now he was saying it didn’t matter, because he’d go against what was expected of him to protect Kallen. To be his friend.
Kallen was supposed to say no, to tell him they should do what Management wanted. Even if neither of them did. But he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t look at the open window and not try and lean in closer for a breath of fresh air—it wouldn’t get him out of his cage, it wouldn’t change anything, not really, but for that one breath...
“I don’t wanna be alone with them.” He barely managed to get the words out before his throat closed up, as if trying to choke him for his treason.
“Oh.” Levy sounded shocked, but then Kallen heard him swallow. “Okay, I can... I can be there. You... Is that what you want?”
Kallen hesitated. Did he want his friend there when he was so delirious with heat, he’d spread his legs for two other alphas in quick succession? No, he didn’t, he didn’t want anyone there. He didn’t want to be there. But Levy wouldn’t stand by even for a moment if he was being hurt, he knew that in his gut. He wouldn’t wait to step in, and... He opened his mouth, but his throat just clicked, no words coming. He forced himself to nod, shaky but firm. He couldn’t meet Levy’s eyes.
And somehow, he was in Levy’s arms again, clinging to his shirt and burying his face into the soft cloth of his shoulder. The alpha’s strong arms were around him, firm and reassuring, and his hands were clutching at Kallen’s back and shoulder with equal intensity.
He let his eyes fall shut, and just for a few minutes, he let himself pretend he was safe.
THEY DIDN’T TALK ABOUT it anymore. His heat would likely fall during a series of away games, which was fine by Kallen—he wasn’t keen on being back to their own stadium’s heat room any time soon.
A couple days later, he found himself leaning into Levy while they were watching a movie on his sofa. It didn’t feel strange when Levy shot him an indulgent smile and put an arm around him. In fact, it was the opposite of strange, Kallen realised, he was a tactile creature and for the last eight months, he’d been quite deprived of regular touch. The alphas fucked him, but they didn’t hold him, and he’d seen his family just once since he’d started playing for the White Cats. So, this easy contact with a friend was a marvel. It wasn’t just him, either. Once he initiated contact a couple of times, Levy seemed equally as eager to incorporate it into their dynamic.
It was the shittiest timing for it, or maybe the best. He found himself smiling more, not just when he did well on the ice, but just because. He was happy , he realised.
And then he was out of time, he felt it as they were deplaning in the location of their second game, a sudden rush of warmth up his cheeks that made him close his eyes and swallow. It wasn’t too bad yet, and when he discreetly checked, he didn’t see any of the alphas paying him any more attention than usual, so they probably couldn’t smell it yet.
“I’m starving, you wanna—?” When Levy bumped his side, forearm brushing against his own bare skin, he shivered so hard his friend cut himself off. “Oh.”
Kallen stole a glance and found Levy’s golden skin was flushed. He would have stood there, just watching Levy’s throat working, if McKinley hadn’t called out to them to hurry it up.
It was enough to get them moving, even as Kallen could feel every inch of space between their bodies. When they got to the shuttle that would take them to the hotel, Levy let him get in first, so he’d get the window seat. He cracked it open, hoping it would help his pheromones disperse. He wasn’t really all that hot yet, more like a warm flush of anticipation than the drowning desperation it would become later. If Levy hadn’t followed him in and taken the seat by his side, close enough to feel but not touching, maybe he could have pretended he’d just stayed a little too long in the sun and all he had to worry about was a sunburn.
He kept his eyes on the road; the trees and the buildings blurring by at speed and nothing he could have focused on anyway.
The next thing he knew, they’d arrived and Levy and he were the only guys left on the vehicle. He looked up and met his friend’s eyes, the soft hazel of them half taken up by his enlarged pupils. But it was kind of dark in the van, really.
“Should I...?” Levy asked. His voice was lower, raspier, like he’d— “Should I tell them?”
Kallen didn’t get a chance to answer before they were asked to get off the shuttle and then they were out into the crisp night air. He shivered at the contrast with his burning skin and standing on his own two feet again made him realise he wasn’t as steady as he’d thought. It wasn’t even a heartbeat later that he felt something bump his hand and saw Levy was shoving a hoodie at him. “Oh, thanks.” He took it, and his friend took Kallen’s bag off his hand so he could put it on.
It wasn’t until he had his head deep in it that it hit him—Levy’s scent, pure and unmitigated delight mixed with the sandalwood deodorant he favoured. An alpha’s scent.
It made him freeze for a moment, to be surrounded by that scent; his brain lighting up like the best rush of adrenaline after scoring. Only it wasn’t adrenaline, but a slow, soft sensation, the sun coming down when you were in bed, cosy and safe and knowing all you needed to do was close your eyes and rest.
He must have swayed a little because Levy reached out with both hands to take him by the elbows, eyes wide and alarmed when Kallen could finally see him again. “No, it’s...” He tried to explain, but words were becoming harder. What need was there for words? What else could he ask for than this?
“Let’s check in,” Levy decided. “Then you can relax in your room.”
Kallen would have probably gone along with much worse plans than that, so he followed as Levy dealt with the people at reception for him, most of his focus on not collapsing into the warmth of his friend’s body and just letting Levy hold him.
The first thing he noticed was that the room had two queen-sized beds. Some of their teammates shared hotel rooms, but of course as the team’s sole omega Kallen had never been asked to. Because he was supposed to sleep with his teammates, of course, but only when Management decided he should.
Levy had unlocked the door and stepped through it first, but he’d immediately turned to look at him. “Come in,” he told Kallen, pointing with his chin for emphasis.
Kallen smiled at him, stumbling inside and going straight for the nearest bed, sprawling on top of the covers and rolling over to grin up at him.
Even in his relaxed state, it was impossible to miss Levy was watching him with open wariness.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, frowning a little. “You did good,” he thought to reassure. “You got me here.”
The alpha’s lips parted and there went his throat working visibly. Kallen wanted to lick the long column of it, which was probably weird for an omega, but you could just see all of Levy’s strength there—more subtle than in his arms or back, but still...
“Kallen?” His friend was waving a hand in front of his face. “You okay?”
Kallen nodded. “Yeah, I... I’m okay, but you...” He licked his lips, squirming until he could sit up. “You are not...” He glanced down, cutting himself off before the words could escape him. You are not touching me.
He had just enough sense to know it wasn’t the right thing to say, but not enough to figure out what was.
Levy huffed and Kallen felt him stepping away and raised his gaze to follow. His teammate had the room service phone to his ear, body turned away from Kallen. It hurt to see, something small inside him cringing at the implicit rejection. Levy had walked him to his room and taken care of sorting everything out, and now, of course, he understood, he was still doing that. Heat was extremely physically demanding, and they’d need food.
The sound of the phone being hung up startled him out of his thoughts.
“Kallen,” Levy said, arms wrapped around himself, knuckles white where he was squeezing his forearms. “I gotta... You asked me to be here, but I gotta call them. I mean...” He glanced away, biting his lip. “You—” He shook his head. “I don’t want to, but I will do what you asked me anyway.”
The mind fog was so bad that it took him a minute to process what Levy even meant—the alpha’s anxiety was invading the room like poison and Kallen was wide open to it. Levy was already at the door when he managed, “Don’t.”
It came out whiny and pathetic, but Levy turned back to him anyway, eyes seeking his own.
Kallen had to close his own eyes to finish. “Don’t leave.”
“I’m not,” Levy said. “I just... I was gonna step outside to call the captain.”
Kallen shook his head, clutching at the bedding between his knees. His face was burning and his body felt lax, and he was terrified out of his mind because he wasn’t safe, and he couldn’t be alone. He knew, as clearly as he knew he needed air, that he wouldn’t survive alone.
“Okay,” the alpha agreed, voice going soft. “Just... Go get yourself some water from the mini fridge and drink it very slowly.” The words were still gentle but loaded with power.
It was like they’d activated Kallen’s body for him. He found himself moving without intending to. But it wasn’t scary like orders from alphas had been in the past, he could just do this for Levy because he knew Levy was looking out for him . And it was a task requiring enough of his attention that he only caught a few words of the whispered conversation his friend was having by the door.