Chapter 24
“ Y ou remember we were talking about what we’d do if we weren’t playing?”
Levy nodded, still chewing his steak.
Kallen hadn’t missed that they were eating his favourite meal at least once a week. He didn’t have the heart to tell Levy he didn’t care anymore. It was protein and it was what Levy could think to do in the fucking hopeless situation Kallen had stuck them in.
“I still don’t know,” he explained. “But I think... Like, you asked me what would make me happy, and like, things that make me happy make me relax. But work should be challenging, you know? I wanna accomplish something.”
“Huh.” His friend took a sip of water. “That makes sense. Like, with me and kids, they are fun, obviously, but the part that would make it a job is that I’d be helping them, so I would... dunno, make them better at hockey, I hope.”
“More than hockey,” Kallen told him, certain.
And Levy tucked his chin away, going shy all of a sudden. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Kallen confirmed. He didn’t know how he knew, given that he’d never even seen Levy with a kid. “You are good at making people feel safe.”
Levy was watching him, food forgotten. “Even you?”
“Of course!” Kallen assured him. “Why... I mean, yeah, totally.”
“Okay,” Levy said. “I just thought... Like, the thing with Cat was a bust, so...”
That was a generous interpretation as far as Kallen was concerned, but he didn’t want to make Levy feel any worse about something that wasn’t his responsibility in the first place. The alpha had been pressuring their Coach to get him a meeting with someone else, but so far, he hadn’t got any results. Except perhaps for how Management wanted Kallen to see a shrink.
“That’s not on you,” he told Levy. “I know you did your best.”
“I’m not done,” Levy insisted. “I’m not going to stop until they help you, until you are okay again.”
They were at the table today, Kallen on a chair with sides Brad had billed the team for. He leaned forward until he could put his hand on top of his friend’s and squeeze it. “Thank you.”
It probably would all come to nothing, but that didn’t make Levy’s efforts any less important.
IN THE END, HE COULDN’T avoid telling his parents any longer. Interacting a little in the family group chat covered a multitude of sins, but it wasn’t going to fool his mother for long. He could barely bear the idea of anyone else knowing, let alone having to tell them. But what was he going to do? Live with Levy forever? Or worse, wait until the team came and tried to move him to the Team Den? His mother would be disappointed, but she wouldn’t leave him here. He knew that.
He asked Brad to set up his tablet on the coffee table so he could hang up if he needed to without calling out for help.
His mother picked up already smiling, and something in his chest loosened so suddenly he had to blink back tears. God, he hadn’t realised how much he missed her until that very moment. “Hi,” he got out when she greeted him.
“Are you okay?” Her expression had grown darker, perturbed by whatever she saw.
Kallen shook his head. He’d called her a few days ago, no camera, and got her talking about his brothers and her neighbours so she wouldn’t ask about the team. It suddenly occurred to him that his dad watched his games. He must have known Kallen hadn’t been playing, and yet...
“What’s wrong, baby?”
He closed his eyes and exhaled, what he had inside felt like a volcano about to erupt, but the words that came were mild, simple. “You were right.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, incongruously. “If it makes you look like that, I’m sorry.”
He shook his head again. “No, I should— I should have listened. About... about the sex, and the alphas.”
He’d not even made it a year with the team, he realised, and had to cover his face as he lost the battle with his tears, a hacking sound escaping and then another, not quite muffled by his palm even when he bit it. He’d given it his all, and it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t enough.
“I’m sorry,” he told her. “I— I tried, I swear I tried, but—” He cut himself off, remembering his father’s firm directive that there were no buts.
“Don’t be sorry,” his mum told him, her own voice heavy with sorrow. “You did everything you could. I know that and your father knows that.”
Kallen tensed up.
“He does, Kallen. I’ll make him tell you in person, but believe me that he knows how much he’s asked of you. Just to—” She stopped, exhaling slowly. “You want to tell me what happened? Or do you want to come home first?”
Come home , he thought. Except he wasn’t sure where that was.
“Can you... Can you just listen?”
He wasn’t looking at her, couldn’t bear too, but he still sensed the hesitation before his mother spoke her promise, “Yes.”
And so, he’d told her, how his teammates hurt him sometimes, but he’d been told it was alpha hormones out of control. How he’d been pushed to forgive Vandy, how Yrovsky leaving him in need of medical attention had been seen as normal, how even forced sex outside of heat was a consequence of his own actions because he’d become close with one of his teammates. How it felt every time he was told that he wasn’t entitled to respect despite all the promises of protection and honouring, how if he was the soul of this team, then the team was rotten to the core. “And now I can’t play at all,” he finished. The tears had stopped, he just felt numb, empty, done.
It took him a minute to think to look at the screen again. His mother wasn’t crying, though her eyes were red, instead she looked one step away from blazing up. Her throat worked visibly when their eyes met. “I’m coming to get you.”
And it was supposed to be impossible for an omega, but he felt her will in every sound, so powerful he couldn’t have denied her even if he’d wanted to.
Was this what lure felt like? He wondered, as something crumbled in his head. For all the power behind it, it was nothing like alpha will, instead it was a door opening in his cage.
An invitation that he would be mad to refuse.
So, he didn’t.