Chapter 12
Zane
I don’t remember stumbling outside last night, but I remember jumping into the lake.
Frigid water engulfed my body, numbing it to whatever the fuck Mercy’s done to me.
There’s this… thing inside my chest. It prickles and stings like needles, digging into my lungs and making it difficult to breathe.
I’m used to my anxiety spiking until I crash out and Kane comes to my rescue with gallons of water and handfuls of meds, but this is different.
It’s sharper. Impossible to grasp. Painful.
That’s what she is to me.
Pain.
Whether it’s my head or my heart, she knows how to fuck with it. Dancing in the dark corners of my mind, digging her talons into my tainted heart, making me miserable with every breath she takes.
As I lie on the shore in nothing but my boxers as the sun rises over the horizon, the numbness is a welcome change.
Ever since she invaded my life, it’s been one tumultuous feeling after another.
Loathing. Desire. Agony. Confusion. Twisting my soul into knots.
One second, I hate her, and the next, I don’t mind what I see when I look at her.
Of course, part of that could be Kane’s influence.
He’s completely infatuated with the idea of her.
Whether or not the version in his head matches up to the real thing, I have no idea, but it’s enough to make me wonder.
Would I be happier if I just… let go?
“Zane!” Even Sam’s voice, faraway and unpleasant, isn’t enough to rouse me.
I stare up at the sky as its darkness fades away, completely overpowered by the oncoming morning.
A laugh catches in my throat as, yet again, I think of her.
Have I been fooled into believing Mercy is as empty as the night sky, when in reality, she’s as bright as the blazing sun?
It would make sense since my world suddenly revolves around her.
Blowing out a breath, I ignore Sam as he trudges across the back lawn towards me.
“You’re going to freeze out here,” he huffs, hugging his arms closer to his body. Somewhere between taking shots at the bar with Kane and his descent towards the lake, he found a sweater two sizes too small. How cute. “What the hell are you doing?”
Dying.
“Existing.”
Barely.
“Right,” Sam murmurs, giving me the side-eye. “Do you remember what happened last night?”
All too well.
“No,” I lie, wishing that he would go away. “What do you want, Sam?”
“I’m looking for Mercy.” He shuffles his weight from foot to foot, appearing uncomfortable. “Have you seen her?”
“No.” If I close my eyes, though, she’s there. Beneath me, at first. Tears in her eyes. A flush on her cheeks. Then she’s on top of me, and the flash of hatred burning through her body latches onto mine, clawing through my flesh to get to my heart. My lungs burn. “I haven’t seen her.”
Sam stares at me for a long moment. “You sure?”
“Positive.”
His lips press tightly together. “Yeah, okay. Well if you see her, tell her to come find me. I need to talk to her.”
Whatever. Not my problem. If I see Mercy—
I might finally kill her.
Lingering far longer than I like, Sam mumbles something under his breath. I don’t bother answering, and then all of a sudden, he’s stripping. Tossing his sweater onto my chest, he grumbles. “Put that on.”
I don’t think I could move my arms if I tried.
“Dammit,” Sam hisses, dropping to his knees and shoving the sweater over my head. Then he finagles my limbs into the sleeves and tugs it on properly.
The warmth is uncomfortable, but it gets worse when Sam lifts me onto my feet. I shove him, or try to, but my coordination is off. I stumble and nearly crash in the mud.
Sam’s right there to pick me back up. With a grunt, he tosses me over his shoulder and starts the long trek back to the house. I would fight him, but I’m too weak. Or too complacent. It’s hard to care when every part of my body aches.
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Sam huffs. “I’m not doing this for you. I’d rather throw you into that fucking lake and watch you drown after what you did to Mercy.”
It seems that Sam’s the only one with enough balls to speak the truth.
“But Mercy—” Sam shakes his head. “She has this thing for strays.” Frowning, he pushes open the back patio door. “Against my better judgement, I think you’re one of them.”
Whatever he’s saying isn’t making any sense. “You think I’m like some… feral cat?”
“Yeah. More or less.”
Laughing hurts. But, hey, I’m grateful for the honesty. Once we’re inside the house, Sam drops me onto an armchair and rolls his shoulders once he’s free from the burden of my body weight.
Crossing his arms over his chest, he glares at me. “Since we’re alone… mind telling me why you tried to fuck my girlfriend?”
I’ve asked myself the same question over and over since I wandered out of Mercy’s bedroom last night.
What was I doing there in the first place?
How long were we locked together like two quarreling lovers?
Did I imagine that she crushed my dick beneath her foot, or was she actually bold enough to threaten me?
A twisted smile curves on my lips. Our little game is getting more interesting.
Kitten is learning to use her claws.
“You creepy motherfucker.” Kicking my chair, Sam pushes it back against the window. “Stay the hell away from her.”
“Or what?” I’m not afraid of Samson fucking Wright.
His father, though… Running a hand down my face, I sigh.
Nothing good is going to come out of this godforsaken cabin retreat.
Being trapped in the same building as Sam is going to get us killed, no matter how optimistic Kane is about it.
The no cell phone rule was my idea at salvaging the situation, but even then, I’m not convinced that it’ll make that big of a difference.
We’re like an hour or two away from the city.
If Samuel Wright wants to find us, he will.
It’s only a matter of time.
A sigh passes my lips. I’m getting really tired of counting down the end of my days. They keep getting shorter and shorter, which means that my time with Kane is dwindling faster than I can keep up. I need to figure out how to save more time—
No, wait, I need to steal it from someone else.
“I’ll trade you intel.” Swallowing hard, I force the rest of that statement out of my mouth. “You tell me about your dad’s investment in your future… and I’ll tell you about my interest in Mercy.”
Sam’s forehead crinkles. “Why the hell do you care about my father?”
“I’m not dying because of your daddy issues, Sam.”
If things go my way, I won’t be the one dying, at all.