Chapter 15 #2
He draws a steady breath and exhales slowly. “She glitters, you know? In all that darkness, she glows with her own light. Even when you can’t see her. Even when no one is paying attention. She doesn’t do it for anyone else. She just… exists in her own universe.”
Mercy embraces the man I love, enveloping him in a glow so soft that I’m suddenly speechless.
A flicker of warmth inside my chest quickly turns into a flame, growing stronger with each beat of my heart.
She may have been alone in the past, but that’s not what I’m seeing now.
The woman in front of me is expanding her universe the only way she knows how: by following her heart.
“Until she decides to let one of us in,” I murmur, knowing that Sam can hear me.
“Yeah.” Sam’s voice catches. “Until she lets us in.”
SAM
Every muscle in my body winds tight as I watch Mercy climb into Zane’s lap. He’s tied up, so he can’t touch her, but she’s touching him. The last person on earth she should want to be around.
Why? Why does she do this to herself?
I’ve watched her take in strays from the side of the road. A bird with a broken wing. A dog whose head won’t stop shaking. Feral cats who hiss when you get too close. She feeds them and brings treats and medicine and attempts to get them tagged as strays if she can’t bring them home with her.
“It’s not their fault,” she told me once. “They’re victims of a broken system.” She calls it injustice while others call it survival of the fittest.
I see that same compassionate streak in her as she talks to Zane. I can’t hear what they’re saying, but I can imagine how she’s trying to soothe him like she would a wounded animal. Coaxing them out of hiding. Treating their wounds. Making sure they feel safe and loved.
Zane has Kane for that. He doesn’t need Mercy.
Still, she latches on. I don’t think she can’t help herself.
When she sees someone in pain, her natural instinct is to identify the source and stop the bleeding.
It’s why she’s so good with her family’s business; their clients flock to her like doves whose wings need mending, and while Mercy’s tending to them, she smoothes out their feathers and reminds them how beautiful they are, no matter the darkness dragging them down.
Grief is natural. It ebbs and flows like the tide, receding one moment to return in full force the next.
That’s what Vinicius Morningstar told me, anyway, at my first group counseling session. He hugged me without asking, breaking down a wall I hadn’t known I’d built.
Mercy gets her bleeding heart from her father.
Kane drums his fingertips against his thigh, watching Zane and Mercy just as intently as I am. “You know,” he says slowly, “I think they could be good together.”
“You’d say that no matter what.” Sighing, I roll my neck to relieve some of the tension.
All this stress is killing me. “Besides, you don’t know if he even wants that.
” Zane doesn’t seem like the sharing type.
Every vibe I’ve gotten from him has been dark and violent.
He’d probably slit his own throat before letting Kane throw him around like a piece of meat.
Lifting an eyebrow, Kane turns his attention to me. “And you do?”
“I know about love.” My eyes narrow as I try to get a better look at the unorthodox couple across the room. “It can make you do things you swore you never would.”
“Speaking from experience?”
“Fuck off.” Kane wasn’t able to tie my left ankle down since it’s near the middle of the bed, so I kick his leg.
“You changed the plan without consulting me. We were supposed to tie him up, not me.” I flex my arms and pull my bindings, but it’s no use.
Whatever he used to tie me up is stronger than I am.
I wiggle my jaw to test its movement. The only reason Kane could tie me up in the first place is because he hit me without warning. More than once. “That was a cheap shot.”
Kane shrugs. “You punched him first. It’s only fair that you got punched back.”
“You hit me six times!”
“Whining about how badly I beat you, Sam? I never took you for a sore loser.” He clicks his tongue. “What does Mercy see in you?”
A shard of ice digs into my heart. He’s right, in a way.
If I can’t even win in a fight against Kane, what good am I?
How can I protect Mercy if it’s this easy to subdue me?
Clenching my eyes shut, I swallow a groan and shudder as it settles in the pit of my stomach.
I’m weaker than I thought. Pathetic. Useless.
My father’s voice echoes in my head as he hurls those same exact insults at me, reminding me just how little he thinks of me as a son. But none of that matters so long as he stays the fuck out of my life. I don’t need his approval.
I only need Mercy’s.
But she’s on the other side of the world right now, coaxing a stray to let down his guard and let her into his heart.
Why, I’ll never understand. It’s not like she can save everyone.
Trying is pointless, especially when we’re talking about someone as broken as Zane.
She shouldn’t waste a second of her time or energy that she could be giving to me instead.
No matter how much love she pours into that man, he’ll never love her back.