Chapter 21
The Pull
Julian couldn’t breathe.
The moment Enzo left the study, the weight of what had just happened crashed down on him like a tidal wave. His back was still pressed against the wall, his lips tingling from the force of Enzo’s kiss, his mind a whirlwind of chaos. He slid down to the floor, his legs giving out beneath him, and buried his face in his hands. His heart was racing, his chest tight, and no matter how hard he tried to steady his breathing, it felt like the walls were closing in.
It was a mistake, he told himself, his thoughts frantic.
It didn’t mean anything. It was just… heat of the moment. Anger. Frustration. Nothing more.
But the memory of Enzo’s hands on his face, the way his kiss had been so desperate, so consuming; it burned in Julian’s mind, refusing to be dismissed. He could still feel the heat of Enzo’s body, the way his touch had been both rough and tender, as if he were trying to claim Julian and protect him all at once. It didn’t make sense. None of it made sense.
Enzo was a criminal. A killer. A man who ruled through fear and violence. He wasn’t supposed to kiss Julian like that. He wasn’t supposed to make Julian’s heart race for reasons that had nothing to do with fear.
Julian pushed himself to his feet, his hands trembling as he ran them through his hair. He needed to get out of there. He needed space. Distance. Time to think.
But even as he stumbled out of the study and down the hall, he knew it wouldn’t be that simple. Enzo wasn’t the kind of man who let things go. And Julian wasn’t sure he could face him again; not after what had just happened.
???
The next few days were a blur. Julian threw himself into his work, spending half of his time in the ER and the rest in the med suite in the manor. He avoided Enzo at all costs, slipping out of rooms when he entered, keeping his head down during meals, and locking himself in his room at night. It was exhausting, but it was the only way he could keep his thoughts from spiraling out of control.
But Enzo wasn’t having it.
Julian was in the medical suite late one night, reorganizing supplies for the third time that week, when the door opened. He didn’t need to look up to know who it was. He could feel Enzo’s presence like a storm rolling in, filling the room with an intensity that made Julian’s skin prickle.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” Enzo said, his voice low and calm, but with an edge that made it clear he wasn’t asking.
Julian kept his back turned, his hands gripping the edge of the counter as he tried to steady himself. “I’ve been busy.”
“Bullshit.”
The word was sharp, cutting through Julian’s feeble excuse like a knife. He turned around reluctantly, his heart pounding as he met Enzo’s gaze. The mafia boss stood in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest, his expression unreadable but his eyes burning with something Julian couldn’t name.
“What do you want, Enzo?” Julian asked, his voice tight. “I’m working.”
Enzo stepped inside, closing the door behind him with a soft click. The sound made Julian’s stomach twist. “You’re hiding,” Enzo said, his tone matter of fact. “From me. From what happened.”
Julian’s breath hitched, but he forced himself to stay calm. “Nothing happened.”
Enzo raised an eyebrow, his lips curving into a faint, humorless smile. “You’re a terrible liar, Julian.”
Julian’s hands clenched into fists at his sides. “It was a mistake,” he said, his voice rising despite his efforts to keep it steady. “A moment of… of anger. That’s all it was. It didn’t mean anything.”
Enzo’s expression darkened, his jaw tightening as he took a step closer. “Is that what you tell yourself to sleep at night? That it didn’t mean anything?”
Julian took a step back, his heart racing. “It’s the truth.”
“No,” Enzo said, his voice low and dangerous. “It’s not.” He closed the distance between them in two strides, his presence overwhelming as he loomed over Julian.
Julian’s back hit the counter, trapping him in place, but he refused to look away. He couldn’t. Not when Enzo’s eyes were locked on his, burning with an intensity that made his chest ache.
“You can lie to yourself all you want,” Enzo said, his voice rough. “But don’t lie to me. I know what I felt. And I know you felt it too.”
Julian’s breath caught, his mind racing. He wanted to deny it, to push Enzo away and pretend none of this was happening. But the truth was, he couldn’t. Because Enzo was right. He had felt it. And it terrified him.
“This… this can’t happen,” Julian said, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’re a criminal, Enzo. You’re dangerous. You’re…”
“What?” Enzo interrupted; his voice sharp. “A monster? Is that what you were going to say?”
Julian flinched, but he didn’t deny it. “You’re not someone I can… I can’t…”
Enzo’s expression softened, just for a moment, before he leaned in, his voice low and steady. “You can’t keep running from me. I’m not going anywhere.”
Julian’s chest tightened, his heart pounding as Enzo’s words sank in. He wanted to argue, to push back, but the fight had drained out of him. He was tired. So tired. And the way Enzo was looking at him, like he was the only thing that mattered, made it impossible to think straight.
Enzo reached out, his hand brushing against Julian’s cheek, his touch achingly gentle. Julian’s breath hitched, his eyes closing as he leaned into the touch despite himself. It was too much. Too overwhelming. But he couldn’t pull away.
“I’m not asking you to trust me,” Enzo said, his voice soft, almost fragile, as if the words themselves might shatter the fragile space between them. His eyes, dark and intense, held Julian’s with a quiet desperation. “Not yet. But don’t shut me out. Don’t pretend this isn’t real.”
Julian’s breath caught in his throat, his chest tightening as he opened his eyes, his gaze locking with Enzo’s. For a moment, they just stood there, the air between them thick with unspoken words and the weight of everything they hadn’t dared to say. The tension crackled like a live wire, every nerve in Julian’s body humming with anticipation, with fear, with something he couldn’t quite name.
And then, slowly, almost hesitantly, Enzo leaned in. His lips brushed against Julian’s, so softly it was barely a kiss at all. It was a whisper, a question, a plea; nothing like the hard, desperate clash of before. This was tender, achingly so, as if Enzo were afraid Julian might break under the weight of it.
His hands came up to cradle Julian’s face, his touch feather light, his thumbs brushing gently over the curve of Julian’s cheekbones. The warmth of his palms against Julian’s skin sent a shiver down his spine, and for a moment, Julian forgot how to breathe.
Julian’s hands trembled as they fisted in the fabric of Enzo’s shirt, his knuckles brushing against the solid warmth of Enzo’s chest. His mind screamed at him to pull away, to stop this before it went too far before he lost himself completely. But his heart… his heart was already lost. It had been for a while, though he’d been too afraid to admit it. And now, with Enzo’s lips so soft against his, with the warmth of his body so close, Julian couldn’t find the strength to resist.
He kissed him back, tentatively at first, his lips moving against Enzo’s with a quiet uncertainty. But as Enzo’s hands slid into his hair, his fingers tangling gently in the strands, Julian felt something inside him give way. His grip on Enzo’s shirt tightened, pulling him closer, and the kiss deepened, slow and deliberate, as if they were both afraid to rush this moment, to break the fragile spell that had settled over them.
Enzo’s breath hitched, a soft, almost imperceptible sound that sent a jolt of electricity through Julian’s veins. His hands slid down to Julian’s waist, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them. Julian could feel the rapid thud of Enzo’s heart against his own, the way his chest rose and fell with each shaky breath. It was overwhelming, the way Enzo’s touch seemed to ignite every nerve in Julian’s body, the way his kiss felt like both a question and an answer, a promise and a plea.
When Enzo finally pulled back, it was only far enough to rest his forehead against Julian’s, his breath warm against Julian’s lips. His eyes searched Julian’s, dark and intense, filled with a vulnerability that made Julian’s chest ache.
“I can’t do this,” Julian still whispered, his voice breaking. “I can’t.”
Enzo’s thumb brushed against his cheek; his expression unreadable. “You don’t have to. Not yet. But you will.”
And with that, he turned and walked away, leaving Julian standing there, his heart in pieces and his mind in chaos. Because no matter how much he fought it, Julian knew Enzo was right. This wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.