Chapter 3 #3
“Oh!” Her mother shook her, making her unsteady on her heels. “Who cares about him? No, the prince. Any prince. Did you dance with one?”
“I danced with several men, and Prince Gabriel was one of them.”
“Yes! Of course he would dance with you, dressed as you are. It was a good idea to wear that dress. I’m glad I suggested it.”
And that, in a nutshell, was her mother. Everything Gen did was atrocious, unless it suited her mother, in which case it was her mother’s brilliant idea in the first place.
“And when do you see him again?”
“I don’t, mother. We danced once. He danced with several other ladies once as well.
It was nothing significant.” She fibbed a little here, for her own sake as well as her mother’s.
“He made it clear during our dance that this was only a dance and that he was interested in another woman. In fact, he only danced with me because he was interested in Miss Kaur and wanted more information about her.”
Sorry, Sam! Gen knew Sam would forgive her. Any chance to mess with her mother was one worth taking, according to Sam, but Gen still felt guilty about it.
“Oh! That dreadful girl! What could he possibly see in her? She’s no queen, I’ll tell you that much. You aren’t either, but I could at least help you in that role.”
Control me, you mean. No, thank you!
“May I go to bed now, mother? I am awfully tired.”
“No, you may not! If the prince really is interested in her, then you’ll need to find another prince.
Being a lesser princess isn’t what I need from you, but it would still be better than nothing.
” Her mother grabbed her arm again, this time dragging her towards the sitting room.
“Now, sit down and tell me everything that happened at the ball and every person you danced with.”
Another kind of exhaustion settled over Gen, the kind that never seemed to go away, and that only seemed to get worse when her mother appeared.
Once they sat, her mother suddenly stood up again. “Wait, aren’t the Kaurs hosting a party soon? One the prince has been invited to?”
Gen adjusted her dress on the seat and nodded. “Yes. You’re going with Henrietta. Though there’s no guarantee he’ll attend. Royals are often invited but rarely make an appearance at events such as these.”
After a bit of pacing, her mother stopped and turned to her. “But there’s still a possibility. No, you’ll go with me instead. If he attends, I’m sure I can convince the prince you’ll be a better queen than that other girl. If only you’d done your job right the first time.”
For fuck’s sake. Her mother had a one-track mind, and it never stopped to consider what Gen wanted. Maybe she could convince her she shouldn’t go. “I can’t go! Henrietta was so angry I went tonight. The next event is her turn.”
Her mother waved that away. “She’ll be fine.”
Translation: Henrietta is going to take it out on you, so why do I care?
Gen just shook her head and sighed. It was going to be a long night…
A few hours later, well past 3 A.M. but not quite 4, she finally trudged up the stairs. She had managed to deflect her mother’s probing questions, making things up as she needed to.
She went to Diana’s room first to check on her, but the door was locked. Either she was sleeping, or she’d snuck out again and would slip back in after their mother left for whatever society luncheon she was attending that day.
She went to the bathroom and removed her dress before slowly removing her makeup. She was too tired for a bath, but washed her face and ran a damp towel over her body.
As she stood there in front of the mirror, clad only in her underwear, she wondered if she’d ever find someone who liked this version of her, without makeup and fancy clothes, tired with a face to show it.
She wanted someone who would run a bath for her, then watch over her to make sure she didn’t fall asleep in it.
She wanted someone who would brush her hair out, then kiss the top of her head and tuck her in.
She wanted someone who would take care of her. She was an independent woman, and could take care of herself. But sometimes she just didn’t want to rely only on herself. Sometimes she wanted someone else to be there for her.
To cherish her.
Was that so wrong? Was it too much to ask for?
She didn’t think so, but her prospects tonight had been weak. None of the men she had danced with tonight seemed the sort to do any of those things. Least of all the prince. No, a prince like Gabriel probably had servants that would help her instead.
Though she had to admit it would be nice to have staff to help her with things, it wasn’t enough for her. No, she needed more in a relationship.
She’d seen her parents when her father was still alive. He was warm and helpful and kind and funny. So many of her memories of him are ones filled with laughter or secret schemes behind her mother’s back. And even her mother was a different person with him, kinder and less cruel.
They made each other better, and that’s what she wanted for herself.
Though, as she put on her pajamas and slipped into bed, she could admit that she liked the way the prince’s arms had felt. She’d liked the feel of his gloved hand at her back and the smile on his face. She’d liked when he’d pulled her closer and asked to see her again.
A dance is not enough to commit to someone for a lifetime though, and she still did not want to be a princess, but she wouldn’t mind dreaming of him that night.