40. Brave New World
Chapter 40
Brave New World
SONGBIRD
T he towering bookshelves of the bibliotheca offer me some cover, my heart pounding, bleeding, aching with all the horror of my secret midnight rendezvous. Ethan’s vile kiss still chafes my lips, the hollow look on Aidan’s face imprinted in my retinas.
“Ezra?” I call out, my throaty, uneven voice echoing through the silent halls.
Ethan ordered for me to leave Faerie at once, and I tremble at the thought of what he might do if I dared to disobey him. Somehow, I fear death wouldn’t be his first choice of punishment.
"Lady Snow, what's the matter?" Ezra answers from the heart of the stacks, his voice filled with concern.
Shadows and light move on the ground, the glow of his powers casting patterns on marble as he weaves a path out of the maze to meet me.
The Prince of Light has spent many evenings here of late. He hasn’t said so out loud, but he’s clearly been burying himself in work to distract himself from the trauma of his wedding, as though he’s searching for a way to erase the indelible mark left in his bones within the ancient books.
"I need your help. You have your Shadow mask on you?" I ask quickly.
“Yes.” He scans me from head to toe, his frown deepening. “Beth, you're scaring me. What's happening?"
"I was supposed to meet Aidan in the gardens. We were about to—we planned to go to the new world together, but he ended things instead.”
Ezra clasps my hand in his. “Breathe, Lady Snow. You’re not making sense.”
My eyes flick to his face, the shadow swirling in his ice-blue irises mirroring my unease. “Your father was there, too."
“Ethan was in the gardens?” Ezra’s eyes widen, and he rests both hands on my shoulders. “Did he hurt you?”
I wrap my arms around my frame. “No. But he will. Unless I leave Faerie for good.”
Ezra combs his hair back, giving me a bit of space. “What did Aidan say?”
“He told me to go,” I squeak.
“What? He’s giving up on you?”
“I’m not meant to be his queen, Ezra. I’m not meant to be anyone’s queen,” I rephrase for clarity.
He grows quiet at that—a little too quiet. “Why not?"
“If I stay here, your father will destroy me. You have to take me to the new world, now.”
Ezra doesn't hesitate. “Come.” He clasps my hand in his and pulls me to the closest mirror. “Close your eyes and hold on tight.”
A cold wave washes over us as he guides me through the sceawere—the space between worlds where only those in possession of a Shadow mask thrive. I was so close to getting one, too. I screw my lids shut, because if I dared open them, nightmares might follow me wherever I went.
Ezra stops abruptly, and the momentum of our trip causes me to collide into his side. “Alright. We’re here. You can open your eyes now.”
I blink, taking in my surroundings.
We’ve emerged from the sceawere into a quaint Scottish cottage. The voyage left a trail of frozen tears on my cheeks, and I scratch them off my skin with my nails.
“Where are we?” I ask, still disoriented from Aidan’s brutal dismissal and the rushed trip through the in-between.
A heavy mahogany desk, cluttered with antique inkwells, quills, and stacks of yellowed letters, dominates the study. A glass curio cabinet, filled with delicate porcelain figurines and antique teacups stands in the corner, catching the daylight streaming through the bay window.
A plush, velvet sofa flaunts a deep, inviting purple. Its cushions, firm and plump, are covered in a subtle floral pattern. It looks brand new, a stark contrast to the antique charm of the rest of our surroundings.
It’s so eerie to see the sun here, still shining as though my whole world hasn’t been swallowed by darkness in the span of a few hours.
Ezra grabs a purple wool throw from the sofa and wraps it up around my frame, rubbing some life back into me. “Scotland, in the new world. My grandmother lives here. She's the best person to ask for help in a crisis. She's used to dealing with exiles and the like. She can help you."
"Ahem," a stern voice interrupts. “Don’t speak for me, my starlight. It’s rude.”
"Beth needs your help," Ezra explains with a sheepish grin.
"Yes, I see that.” She motions to the next room with her cane. “Why don't you both sit in the kitchen? I'll make us some tea."
Ezra moves to sit at the head of the table in the next room, but I grab his arm. "Thank you for taking me here, but you should go."
"No, I'm staying with you for the night. You're shaken." He moves to touch me, but I slip away.
"You have to go." I give his chest a gentle but determined push.
He frowns, his gaze flying down to my hands. "Why?"
"Your father might have tracked us through the sceawere. And if he catches you helping me, he’ll punish you, I’m sure."
Ezra’s brows knit together, his face ashen. “I did what he asked. That better have bought me some leeway."
My gaze drops to the floor as I confess, "Ezra... Iris told me. She told me you had feelings for me."
He runs a hand through his hair. "For Helios' sake, Beth, I'm so sorry about Aidan. I knew how you felt about each other, so I figured... I knew as long as he was around, you wouldn't be able to really see me. And I'm glad to be your friend—truly. Since the wedding happened, I've been drinking a little more than is good for me, and I slipped up and said too much. Please don't think... I mean, it's not exactly…
"Flaming hell. I never meant to tell you tonight. I'm in love with you, and I know you're not in the same place, but I can't hold you in my arms while you cry and try to twist my words out of this. I love you, Lady Snow, and I don't care who comes for me, I will not abandon you in this world, all alone."
I shake my head. "Ezra. You know how much I care about you..."
"Shh. Don't do that. I don't need to be coddled. Let me be there for you knowing damn well you don't love me back. You love Aidan. I get that, really, I do. But he's proven today that he doesn't deserve you."
"I'm sure he didn't have a choice."
"Nonsense. If he let you go, it's because he's a scared idiot."
I chuckle bitterly. "How do you know you're not simply under my spell, too?"
One prince falling for me was strange enough. How am I supposed to live with that damn siren blood knowing it can influence emotions in ways I don't totally understand?
He offers a sad smile. "Lady Snow... no offense, but my heart is a fucking fortress.”
"Listen to the girl. She needs a warm drink and a good night's sleep. Not romance," Mabel interjects.
He caresses my spine up and down in a soothing motion. "Okay, then I'll meet you back here in a few days, and we'll think of a plan."
I’m too overwhelmed to reply. He presses his mouth to mine for a quick second, and the gesture is so tender and natural… it scares me to my core.
"I'll see you soon, Lady Snow."
I offer a small nod, and he disappears through the mirror, leaving me alone with Mabel.
"He's a passionate kid. It usually gets him into trouble," Mabel comments. "You've never trained your song, have you?"
"How did you know? The first time you saw me, you knew."
"Plenty of Sea folk lived on the coast of the Islantide, in my day. I can tell the difference."
“It’s almost funny how this worked out. Aidan planned to ask you to marry us tonight."
"If it helps, I wouldn't have agreed."
"Why?" I ask, lowering my gaze. "Because of what I am?"
Her kind eyes soften, her bite of power washing over me like a warm blanket. "No, because of who he's meant to become."
A raven lands on the windowsill and taps on the glass, spooking me. Mabel peels herself from her seat and inches the window open. The bird deposits a rolled piece of parchment in the cup of her hand before flying off to its perch in the corner.
I watch the sleek black bird for a moment before asking, “Who is Aidan meant to become?”
"Never mind that now. Most prophecies end up being incorrect, especially those about the end of the world." She unrolls the message. "My grandson was right. I'm used to smuggling all sorts of troubled folks out of Faerie. And the world hasn't been particularly kind to your lot, not since the fall of my first husband."
The scope of her life hits me all at once. This woman has lived through all the wars and battles and history I’ve been studying.
"Was the Eye of the Mists as beautiful as the legends say?"
Her eyes glaze over. "It was all they say and more ." She takes a meaningful pause, staring off at the emptiness in front of her as if it’s a gilded and glorious past. After a minute, she clears her throat. “I know someone who can help you. She's in America now, but she's trained stranded sirens before.”
I consider her offer.
Unless I learn how to control the siren in me, I will never be sure of a man’s heart again. And in spite of what he said, Ezra can’t make the trip back and forth from Faerie without being followed. Ethan would probably beat his son to death before allowing him to cavort in the new world with me—or loving anyone he isn’t told to.
Besides, I love Aidan. And I will love Aidan until my last breath.
Ezra is better off without me in his life altogether. He might have been forced into an arranged marriage, but he doesn’t deserve to pine over someone who doesn’t love him back.
Mabel sips on her tea, pulling me out of my dark thoughts. “Mélusine is getting old, but I'd say she wouldn't pass up the chance to help someone as brave as you."
"Brave? I'm not brave,” I scoff.
Mabel tips her cup of tea toward me. “You stood without a shred of fear on that altar at Ezra’s wedding, under the scrutiny of the most powerful beings in the worlds, while secretly planning to elope with the Crown Prince of the Summerlands. I'd say that's pretty courageous."
"Naive and dumb is more like it."
"Don't do that. Don't sell yourself short for dreaming up a better world, young Beth. When you've lived as long as I have, you might find some dreams end up stretching farther than we ever thought possible.”
“Dreams and nightmares, too,” I say quickly, thinking of her life before she came here.
Mabel Bloodsinger, the Mist Queen, ruler of a kingdom that was destroyed for the sins of its last reigning king, her adopted land burned to ashes, her subjects slaughtered just for existing. She probably knows more about nightmares than any other Fae alive.
The cup of tea trembles in her grip. “I can’t deny that.”
"I should go and meet your friend. As soon as possible."
Mabel nods. "That's a wise decision. Do stay away from mirrors on your journey. I wouldn't put it past Ethan Lucifer Lightbringer to hunt you down just for sport. You caught his eye, yes?"
"Unfortunately."
Her hazelnut eyes darken. “Then you should leave at sunrise. Come now, I'll show you where to rest for the night."
I'm leaving Faerie, Aidan, Ezra, and my entire world behind. I write letters to Papa and Marjorie, hoping I’ll get to see them again one day. I'm heading to a new continent—a place that has forgotten about Fae kings and sirens. A world that disavowed magic altogether. A land where I don't belong, but also hold an advantage.
It’ll be easier to hide in a place where people believe I don’t exist. I’ll be exiled and heartbroken, but in some ways, freer than I've ever been.
And irrevocably alone.