Chapter 2 #2
“Yes, that’s right. His condition is worsening. Earlier this month, he was bedbound for several days, and our local doctor hasn’t been much help. His sister had a more advanced form of the illness before she died, and my master fears the same thing is happening to him. He needs professional care.”
My heart raced wildly. What was he asking of me? I wasn’t a professional. Not yet. My certification wouldn’t come until I completed my training.
“When Mr. Hoffmann was trying to figure out the name of the nurse who’d spoken to his master that night in the hospital, he inquired if any of the nurses had experience caring for a family member with consumption,” Sister Helen explained.
“Your face came to mind immediately. You are the only one of my girls with that knowledge and experience.”
A bitter knowledge. I twisted the claddagh ring on my middle finger and felt a familiar prick of grief as dark memories resurfaced.
“You’d be an honored guest at Riverbend Manor, with every need provided for during your stay,” Mr. Hoffmann said.
“There’s a cook and a housekeeper—the usual servants.
And the Hudson is quite extraordinary in winter, I must say.
” He sniffled and adjusted his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose, beaming proudly. “The estate is magnificent.”
“What an opportunity for a young girl,” Sister Helen murmured, unable to keep the joy out of her voice.
I could not say the same for me. This was all so sudden, and I felt as if I were being traded like meat, a prized dairy cow that was being sold to a farm up north with a good grazing field to produce better butter.
“Sorry, sir, but I’m afraid there’s been a mistake.
I’m awfully sad to hear about your employer’s worsening condition, but I’m no live-in nurse, not professionally.
Not until I get my training certificate.
I’m enrolled in a program here. I can’t abandon it nor my duties to my fellow sisters. I’ve taken a serious pledge.”
The man’s head tilted toward Sister Helen, who chuckled kindly.
“My dear headstrong girl,” she said, “your loyalty toward your work at the hospital is commendable. I told you that she was the best, Mr. Hoffmann, did I not?”
“You did, Sister,” he agreed with a smile. He appeared eager. Perhaps a little anxious.
The nun grasped her hands against her black skirts and turned to me.
“This on-site assignment is a training opportunity that is too good to pass up, child. Your skills will be put to the test. You will have to think on your feet and use good judgement. It will require someone who is willing to use good sense and act independently. If anyone here is responsible and serious enough to take on this challenge, it is you.”
To be honest, I did like the sound of that.
But caring for one individual was much different from the hospital environment.
Here I was able to learn about a wide variety of ailments and glean knowledge directly from physicians.
In someone’s private home, I’d be alone.
With one patient. Not a remarkable learning opportunity.
And then there was the memory of Voss in the exam room, throwing that fancy hourglass sculpture in a tantrum, laughing like a hyena when his sister had just died. The wink…
“I’m not so sure…,” I admitted. “I appreciate it so very much, I really do. But can I give you an answer in the morning? I’d like to think about it carefully.”
The man gave me a tight smile, and though not unkind, it felt… tense. Is he under some strain? In pain? Maybe that was just my nurse’s instinct, jumping to conclusions.
“I apologize,” he said, “but I’m afraid I must return to the Hudson River Valley on the first train this morning. In two hours.”
Two hours? “Sir, I’m begging you, I haven’t slept since yesterday—”
“Mr. Voss is kindly donating a large sum of money to the hospital,” Sister Helen said firmly. “A very large sum.”
“But—”
“In exchange for your services, he will fund the entire nursing program next year. We can expand it—double it, even, and bring in more girls. By doing this, you’ll be helping all of us. We can help so many…”
I felt cornered and put on the spot. I again thought of Voss when he’d spotted Bethany. Part of me wondered if being close to him would finally give me answers about this “gift” that we seemed to share. But how could I? Ask him straight? Did he know more than I did?
No. That could never happen. A girl like me shouldn’t even talk to a man like that. Panic gathered in my chest. I swallowed and asked anxiously, “How long would this assignment be going on for, then?”
The gentleman threaded the edge of his bowler hat along his fingertips.
“I don’t know. A few months? When the master’s sister got to this state, her decline was rapid.
I have my doubts that he’ll make it through the winter.
But no matter their status, every man should be afforded the grace to die in peace, with someone kind caring for them…
would you not say, Nurse Molly? Is not all life dear? ”
“Remember your pledge,” Sister Helen murmured encouragingly.
Of course I remembered. Point number five: Hold all life dearly.
I’d argued this fact to doctors who wanted to give up on poor immigrants like me.
Being forced to use the same logic on a wealthy Wall Street mogul, who could afford to basically buy off the hospital just to get what he wanted, did not feel right.
And yet, I could not find fault in it. Nor could I wriggle my shoulder away from Sister Helen’s steady hand. The sister brooked no argument.
“Did I just hear that right?” Bethany’s voice suddenly whispered near my ear as she appeared without warning. “We’re going to Charles Voss’s mansion? Tell me it’s true, Molly! You must say yes. This is the chance I’ve been waiting for! We’re going to live like princesses!”
I didn’t want to tell her that I doubted she could follow me all the way upstate. No spirit had followed me that far. The Black Groom had appeared to me in various parts of the city, but I hadn’t seen him in a year.
If I went upstate, I’d probably lose Bethany.
And as irritating as she was—as thick in the head, as shallow, as lazy—she was the only companion I’d had in a long time.
I never felt alone with Bethany, and that was a luxury I hadn’t felt since Mammy had left.
I didn’t want to let it go. And I didn’t want to give up on finding the cause of her death.
But then I remembered how Voss seemed to be able to see Bethany, remembered his terrible laugh…
Maybe it was good that Bethany couldn’t follow me there.
Sadness weighed down my chest.
“It’s settled then, yes?” the old man asked.
My gaze swung between the nun and Mr. Hoffmann. I couldn’t think of a good excuse. The weight in my chest was a trapped animal. I looked at Bethany’s joy-filled face, and my heart broke a little more.
“My girl would never let me down,” Sister Helen said, patting my shoulder firmly.
I felt myself nodding. What else could I do? I was a good girl, and I did what I was told, even if it wasn’t what I wanted. That was how I made my life normal when it was anything but.
“Wonderful! We’ll be eating Miss Filomena’s soulful soup by lunch,” Mr. Hoffmann told me with strained cheer, a look of desperate joy in his eyes.
Was there something he wasn’t saying, or was I misreading him?
My eyes were having trouble focusing. It was hard to know anything for certain in this wretched state of mind, with so little sleep and my panicked heart still galloping inside my chest.
Mr. Hoffmann could not wait to exit the room, that much I understood. And the way Sister Helen was beaming, she could not wait to deposit his check. Bethany bounced up and down and clapped her hands.
All I could do was shake the man’s outstretched hand as the sun rose over the city.
My life was not my own to control.
I guess it never had been.