The Prince’s Heart

8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight

I arrive at the stables a few minutes before noon the next day, my mind racing like one of the thoroughbreds. I’m a bit early for once, so I’m not surprised to find that Tag hasn’t arrived yet. If you ignore its size, this stable is exactly like any other. The air is suffused with the earthy scent of hay and horses, and grooms bustle about, mucking out stalls and ensuring the horses are fed.

When I arrive, one of the grooms is already preparing my horse, Laya, while another readies one that I assume is Tag’s. As always, when I see Laya, I calm down a bit. Out of all the horses in the palace stables—and there are quite a few—she’s my favorite and has been ever since she came here as a foal nearly ten years ago. She was gifted to me by Countess Voeli when I came of age, although I’m guessing Voeli wasn’t aware that Laya was completely deaf when she gave her to me. Voeli certainly seemed upset enough when she eventually found out. She even offered to take Laya back and replace her, but I never considered accepting her offer, not for a moment. Even when Samis said he’d be happy to find me a better riding horse, I told him in no uncertain terms that I was keeping her. She’s one of the sweetest, gentlest creatures I know, and I love her.

Also, training her was an excellent excuse to spend some quality time without having to interact with people, so that was definitely a plus.

I don’t want to get in the grooms’ way, so I sit on a bench to one side and close my eyes, trying to calm myself further before Tag shows up. It’ll be alright. You can do this .

It isn’t very long before I hear a familiar voice. “Hello, Darien. It’s good to see you again.”

I open my eyes to see Tag standing at the entrance to the stables. Somehow, he looks even better than I remember. His outfit is simple, something like what I would have chosen for myself had I not agreed to let Ivy choose for me in return for her part in my plan. On him, it looks perfect. Black riding boots with silver inlays are paired with snow-white breeches, a shirt of the same color, and a brown jacket to round it all out. Whether or not he intended it, but the effect it all has on me is undeniable, to the point where I almost can’t believe how good he looks. If someone were to ask me right now to describe the man of my dreams, I’d just point to Tag.

I realize I’m staring at him and force myself to look away for a second before my eyes return to his. At least he’s probably used to it by now .

Instead of looking put off, though, he smiles, just a little bit.

“It’s good to see you too,” I say, my ears getting warm despite the temperate weather. “Shall we?”

He nods, and I gesture for the grooms to bring Laya and Tag’s horse, who he calls Kemi, over to us.

“Are we going somewhere in particular?” Tag asks as we mount our horses.

“We are,” I reply with a grin. “Just follow me.”

He gestures for me to take the lead, and I guide Laya out of the stables, then through the castle gates and into the city proper, along the wide tree-lined road that runs from the palace to the eastern gate of the city. Stalls line either side of the path under the shade of the trees, and the air rings with the sound of merchants selling food and clothes and jewelry. Since it’s the middle of the day, I didn’t feel the need to bring guards, so it’s just me and Tag; nobody appears to pay any special attention to us, which is just the way I like it. I’m sure it’s not unusual to see well-dressed riders this close to the palace, and nothing marks me out as anything more than just another noble.

It doesn’t take long to reach the city wall, an imposing structure of brick and stone that’s almost as old as Cedelia itself. An officer guarding the gate salutes me as we pass through, crossing out of the city and into the market town that encircles the wall. Here, ramshackle wooden buildings abut the stone, crowding against one another like weary travelers huddled for warmth.

Tag and I follow the main road through the market town and beyond, as the densely packed buildings give way to open farmland. After a mile, we branch off onto a smaller side road—more of a trail, really—which eventually meanders into a forest.

Slowly, the path begins to increase in elevation, becoming a moderate incline. Just before it becomes too steep for the horses to go any further, it levels out. At the same time, it leaves the forest behind, opening to a wide meadow. We’ve doubled back so we’re facing west, toward Cedelia. About a hundred feet away from us, the meadow drops off and abruptly becomes a cliff. Between us and the cliff is an ocean, not of water but of flowers, an explosion of color, the frothy waves and soft sand in this case are delicate petals and broad green leaves. I let out a sigh of relief; I wasn’t sure if the flowers would be in bloom just yet.

Tag and I dismount and tether our horses to trees at the edge of the forest, before turning back to the sea of flowers. “It’s beautiful,” he says, a touch of awe in his voice. “How did you find this place?”

“Ivy and I, and a couple of our friends stumbled on it when we were kids.” I knew he’d like it here . “They don’t really come out here much anymore, but I still do sometimes. It’s a good place to just get away from everything.”

“I can see why. It’s incredible. So … peaceful .”

I nod in agreement, but all I can think is that it’s even more incredible with him here.

I lead him over to a large, flat-topped rock near the edge of the cliff, where we take a thick blanket out of the saddlebags, spread it out, and arrange the picnic I asked the kitchens to prepare on top of it. As we’re setting up, I look from him to Cedelia and can’t decide which view is better. A sense of longing blooms in me, as warm and bright as the flowers around us, and I almost tell him how I feel right then and there. But the feeling passes almost as quickly as it came. There’s no need to rush .

The food provided by the kitchens is simple, yet tasty—hard cheese, bread baked this morning, sausages, and a few apples. After we’ve eaten our fill, Tag and I each take one of the remaining apples and walk over to give them to the horses. Laya sees me coming almost immediately and stops grazing, her ears flicking up toward the sky.

“She’s deaf,” I tell Tag, who’s looking at me slightly askance. I’m ready to explain why I ride her—it wouldn’t be the first time someone didn’t understand—but he just nods and gives me a bright smile that sets my heart aflutter.

When we get back to the blanket, I pull out a bottle of wine. I forgot to bring glasses, so we drink straight from the bottle, passing it back and forth every so often, chatting about everything and nothing. Once the wine is gone, we both lie on the blanket, close enough to touch, staring at the sky. Even though the air is a bit chilly, the sun is warm, and I bask in its glow, hoping the good weather is an omen. Tag’s hand is next to mine, and I swear it’s closer than it was just minutes before. I turn my head so I’m looking at him, my eyes drinking him in, as though his beauty is all I need to sustain me. It’s time . I take a deep breath, ready to share my feelings with him, and hopefully find out his.

But before I can, he rolls onto his side and props his head up in his hand. “I’m glad you let me come with you,” he says, the corners of his mouth turned up in a grin that lights up his eyes. “I hope Riella didn’t force you to bring me. She told me it was your idea, but I got the sense she was just saying that to make me feel better.”

“Don’t worry about that,” I say, my heart thumping against my ribs with every beat. “I’m glad you’re here. I enjoy spending time with you.”

He doesn’t reply immediately, and I take the chance to just look at him. His beautiful eyes sparkle with an emotion I can’t quite place. His lips are still quirked in a tiny grin, showing just a hint of bright, white teeth; I doubt he even knows he’s grinning. He fills my senses, my vision and smell and hearing, and I want so badly to add touch to that list. I’ve never wanted him more than I do right now. I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want him at this moment.

I open my mouth a second time to tell him how I feel, but once again, he speaks before I do. “Thank you for bringing me here. It’s so beautiful, and…” He looks down for a second before his eyes return to mine. “And there’s something I need to tell you.”

My heart starts beating even faster, which I didn’t think was possible. “What is it?” I don’t dare to let myself guess what he’s going to say.

He gazes down at me, his expression unreadable for a few seconds. Then before I have time to wonder what he’s thinking, he closes the meager distance between us and gently kisses me on the lips.

As soon as his lips meet mine, my mind nearly shuts down, like I’ve been struck by lightning. My heart, already racing, pounds faster than it ever has before, and my nerves tingle with sparks. Even though part of me is screaming to kiss him back, to pull him close and never let him go, I can’t move. All I can do is think about how good this feels and enjoy the softness of his lips against mine.

Before I can move at all, let alone respond in kind, he’s pulling away. He moves slowly at first, then quickly, a stricken look crossing his face. “I’m so sorry,” he says. “Please, forgive me. I shouldn’t have—”

The sight of his distress is enough to finally allow me to move again. Instead of letting him finish that sentence, I do what I should have done before: grab the back of his head, bring his face to mine, and kiss him deeply. I almost feel him melt in my arms, just as I feel my own nerves melting away.

After a little while, he pulls away again, this time with a big, unreserved smile. He wraps his arms around me and lays his head on my chest, his hair tickling the bottom of my chin. I gently stroke it with my hand, luxuriating in the feel of its silkiness against my skin.

When I find my voice, I say the first thing that comes to my mind. “What took you so long?”

He lifts his head and rests his chin on my chest. I want to kiss him again, but through sheer force of will I manage to hold off while he answers my question.

“Trust me, I wanted to,” he says. “I wasn’t sure how you’d respond, and I was afraid. I fell for you the moment we met, but I didn’t dare hope you would return my feelings. I just couldn’t believe that a prince would be interested in me , of all people.” He looks away, blushing. “Plus, I heard a rumor that you went to a ball the night before we met and spent the entire time dancing with one man. I didn’t know if you and he were courting.”

I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry. I suppose it’s not really Petris’s fault . “I don’t blame you for thinking that. But just so you know, he and I were never courting. We met that night, and I haven’t seen him since.”

Tag takes my hand in his and kisses it lightly. “I believe you, Darien. Still, it took me some time to realize that you two weren’t an item. Then, even after we started spending time together, I thought maybe you were just being polite to me or taking pity on me because I’m new here. The idea that you might actually feel the same way just seemed too good to be true.”

“I can understand why you might have thought that.” I squeeze his hand and look deeply into his brown eyes. “But I’ll have you know that I fell for you the first time we met, too. You just looked so perfect, and the more I got to know you…” I can’t hold it in any longer, so I lift my head up and kiss him again, reveling in the feel of his touch. “It was never pity, or politeness, or anything of the sort. I wanted to spend time with you because I like being with you. It’s as simple as that.”

His laugh is light and unburdened. “I really hoped that was the case, but I couldn’t be sure. I wanted to find out, but I had no idea how I was going to work up the courage to ask you. Today, though…” His eyes shine, and he gives me a wide smile that melts my heart. “Today, you just looked so amazing, and between that and the wine and this whole scene, I just couldn’t help myself.” A look of pleased realization passes across his face. “That’s why you brought me here, isn’t it? Was this your plan all along?”

“Maybe,” I reply, trying to sound mysterious. He makes an amused sound in his throat and tickles my side, and I give in almost immediately. “Okay, fine, yes! But it worked, didn’t it?” Now he’s laughing too. “Seriously, though, I didn’t plan for you to kiss me, although I’m certainly glad you did. Actually…” A tiny bit of embarrassment creeps into my voice. “I was about to tell you how I feel, but you beat me to it. Thanks for saving me the trouble of having to make an awkward speech.”

He laughs even harder. “You’re welcome. Always glad to help out.” He gently caresses my cheek with the side of his hand. “Now that we’ve established that we both like each other, what comes next?”

Anxiety worms its way into my mind despite my elation. Here goes nothing . “I was hoping that we could start courting officially, if you’re interested.” That little voice in the back of my mind starts to rumble, but I stomp it down before it can say anything. “I really like you, and I want the whole world to know it.”

“I would love to court you, Darien. I really would.” His grin fades, and he looks down, as coldness washes over me, like the sun has just dipped behind a cloud. “But you’re a prince. Whoever you court is going to be put under a microscope, every last detail of their life scrutinized endlessly. You know I’m not very outgoing, and the idea of being in the spotlight all the time … I just don’t know if I could handle the pressure.”

Strangely, his words have a calming effect on me, even though it’s not the answer I wanted. If he only wanted me for my title, he would have said yes immediately . I put a finger under his chin and gently lift his head until his eyes meet mine. “I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that courting a prince is easy,” I tell him. “But I really like you, and I want to be with you. I don’t like being in the public eye either, and I promise I’ll do my best to keep the spotlight away from you. Plus, it might turn out to be easier than you expect. Nobody really cares what I do, not when Samis is there to soak up all the attention.”

“I really like you too.” I can tell from his voice that he means it. “But aren’t princes supposed to court other royals?”

I reach up and brush a stray lock of hair away from his face. “Typically, yes. But then, Kenessa—you remember her, right? Well, she’s the daughter of a duchess, so it’s not like I’d be the only one breaking the mold. Still, you’re right. Courting me would be more complicated than if you were courting someone else. But I don’t want to give up on you just because things might go wrong in the future. Especially not when we both struggled to get to this point in the first place.”

He thinks about it while I hold my breath. Finally, after a few anxiety-filled moments, he says, “I don’t want to give up on you either, so I say let’s give it a shot.”

Relief floods through me as he leans down and kisses me again.

“But … if it’s alright with you,” he continues, “can we hold off on making our courtship official for now? I’m still happy to be with you unofficially, and I know we won’t be able to keep it a secret forever. I just want to get more acclimated to living here before the entire court finds out.”

“That’s fine with me.” I lightly stroke his cheek with my thumb. “As long as I get to be with you, I don’t care whether anyone else knows about it just yet.”

“It’s a deal.” He leans down and lays his head back against my chest. “And to think, I was afraid that you’d get mad at me if you found out how I feel. Can you imagine how terrible that would be? Only in the palace for a few weeks, and already on the prince’s bad side.”

“I don’t blame you for being afraid. But you could never get on my bad side.” I plant a kiss on the top of his head. “Even if you were to, say, kiss me out of nowhere without any warning.”

“When you didn’t kiss me back, I thought I was done for,” he says, momentarily somber until his grin returns. “Still, I suppose I can forgive you, even if you did nearly give me a heart attack.” He laughs again. “But that’s not even the worst part. If only one of us had been willing to take the chance earlier, we could have done this weeks ago and saved us both a lot of heartache.”

I take his hand and gently press it against my lips. “I’m sorry I didn’t react at first. I was surprised.” He looks sufficiently placated. “I’m also sorry I didn’t just come right out and say how much I like you before today. I know a way I can make it up to you, though.”

“Oh?” he says, raising one eyebrow.

I think he already knows what it is, though, and he doesn’t seem surprised when I pull him close and kiss him deeply, again and again and again.

We lie on the blanket for hours, kissing and chatting and holding each other close, as afternoon passes into evening. I wish we could stay like this forever, but eventually the sun begins to sink lower in the sky, and it starts to get cold, so we decide to get back to the palace before it’s too dark for the horses to find their footing on the path through the forest.

By the time we get back to the large square that abuts the palace, it’s almost sunset. The sun is blocked by the building, but the sky that we can see is blue and yellow and orange and pink and red, a beautiful end to a beautiful day. Almost as beautiful as Tag.

He catches me looking at him and winks at me. My heart, which had almost returned to my body, takes flight again.

Shortly, we reach the stables, and dismount under the last rays of the setting sun. We walk together into the palace, so close we’re almost touching. When we reach the point where we must go our separate ways, I stop him in the middle of the hallway. I look around quickly; there are a few servants farther down the hall, but none particularly close.

“Listen, Tag…” Some of my anxiety comes back, although it’s a mere shadow of what I felt earlier today. “Would you like to come back to my rooms with me? We can spend the night together, if you want to.”

“I promised Riella I would dine with her tonight,” he says with a regretful sigh. Before my heart can fall too far, he adds, “But I’m free tomorrow night. Perhaps we could see each other then?”

I reach out and cup his face in one hand. He nuzzles my palm and kisses it lightly. “I would love that.”

He looks into my eyes as though he’s searching for something. He must like what he sees because he beams at me. “Then I’ll be there. I promise.”

It’s enough for me. I pull him close, and we kiss twice—the first time slowly, and the second quickly. Then he turns to leave, and I return to my rooms, still feeling like I’m floating on air.