12. Chapter 12
Chapter twelve
“D o I really have to be here for this?” I grumble. “Aren’t I going to see him more than enough over the next few weeks?”
Mother gently squeezes my arm, ignoring Father’s glare. The three of us, as well as Samis, Emma, and Kenessa, are ensconced in a small audience hall, waiting for the guest of honor to arrive. I don’t come in here very often, but I know it’s not uncommon for Father to receive high-ranking foreign guests in this room.
“You should be here when he arrives,” Mother says, her voice soft. “After all, you might be marrying him before too long.”
I shudder at her words. It’s been about a week and a half since my chat with Samis in the Crystal Sword, and I still haven’t figured out how I can fix this situation without angering anyone. “Not if I have anything to say about it.”
“I know you’re not happy about this, but you should at least give him a chance, Darien. Besides, even if you don’t end up marrying him, you’ll still want to be a good host. Who knows, you might even like him.”
I seriously doubt it . I’m about to tell her that, but Father glares at me again, and I decide it’s better to remain silent.
I glance at a large grandfather clock standing against one wall for what feels like the millionth time in the last ten minutes. Arbois should be here any second . As far as I know, he arrived in Cedelia yesterday, and stayed with the Jirenian ambassador last night. The delay isn’t uncommon—nobody wants to be introduced to the king while they’re still dusty from the road—but it certainly isn’t helping with my anxiety. Meanwhile, I haven’t seen Tag since last night; he wasn’t in my bed when I woke up this morning, and I’m guessing he’s making himself scarce. The fact that he has to isn’t really helping either.
As though Arbois was summoned by my thoughts, I hear voices outside the door. A page opens it and steps in, bowing first to my parents, and then to the rest of us.
“Your Majesties, Your Royal Highnesses, may I present His Grace, Prince Arbois Valeran of Jirena Sadai.”
My heart jumps into my throat and stays there.
The page steps aside, and Arbois sweeps in behind him. He looks older than I expected, though it could just be his neatly trimmed beard throwing me off. His hair is short and light blond, almost white, and he’s perhaps a few inches shorter than me. His face is nothing special—perhaps his nose is a bit larger than average, but that’s about it. On the whole, I’d say he’s neither particularly attractive nor unattractive. At least Tag won’t feel like he has competition .
Arbois walks up to us confidently, his head held high, and stops before my parents. “Your Majesties,” he says with a slight bow. “Thank you for inviting me to Cedelia.”
“You are welcome in our home,” Father says, his genteel tone so different from the one he usually uses with me. “I trust your journey was not too arduous?”
“I encountered no troubles on my way here, Your Majesty. Not that I expected any, of course. It surely would have been different had I come in the winter.” He laughs as though he’s just said something funny. “Although the winters here are nothing compared to those in Jirena Sadai. I mean no offense, Your Majesty.”
Father doesn’t look offended. From what I’ve heard of Jirena Sadai, Arbois’s words are an understatement. “I’m glad to hear it. Please, Prince Arbois, allow me to introduce my family,” Father says, before he indicates Mother. “My wife, Queen Merandia of Soeria, formerly a princess of Zeteyon.”
Arbois bows a bit lower than he did to Father before taking Mother’s outstretched hand and kissing the back of it. “I’m pleased to meet you, Your Majesty.”
Mother returns his greeting, her expression one of careful politeness. I wish I knew what she’s thinking; she’s hardly giving anything away with her formal smile and respectful nod of her head.
Next, Father turns to his right. “My eldest son, Prince Samis, his wife, Princess Kenessa, and my daughter, Princess Emma.”
Arbois repeats the same bow-and-kiss routine with Kenessa and Emma before shaking my brother’s hand. To the inexperienced eye, Samis looks welcoming, but I notice the subtle signs of his exaggerated formality, as though he’s keeping Arbois at a distance. Good to know I’m not the only one who doesn’t want him here .
Finally, Father turns to me, and my heart begins to pound even faster. “My second son, Prince Darien.”
Arbois looks at me for a second before bowing much deeper than he did for anyone else. Is he mocking me ?
When he straightens up, he takes my hand with a broad smile and shakes it. “The reason I’m here, of course. Pleased to meet you, Darien.”
It takes every single ounce of civility in me to smile back at him. I know I should be putting on a good face, making him feel welcome, but somehow even pretending to be nice to him feels like cheating on Tag. “I’m pleased to meet you as well,” I say, somehow managing to keep my voice even. “I hope you enjoy your stay in Cedelia.” I hope it’s a very short stay .
I’m not sure if I’m biased, or if it’s just a trick of the light, but, for a bare moment, I see an appraising look in his eyes, as though I’m a prize racehorse and he’s calculating how much money I’m worth. “Thank you, Darien,” he says, his hand still clasping mine, almost possessively. “I’ve been looking forward to this for quite a while.”
I manage to make it through the rest of the welcome session without embarrassing myself, which is a huge victory in my book. After a torturous twenty minutes, Arbois leaves to get settled in his rooms while the rest of us go about our day. My break won’t last long, though, because we’re supposed to all have dinner together tonight. Even as I leave the audience hall, I’m already dreading it. I’m sure Father will insist that I talk to Arbois, in the mistaken hope that I’ll forget about Tag and fall for Arbois instead.
But the truth is that even if Arbois were just another visitor, instead of a prospective suitor, I probably still wouldn’t want to get to know him. Something about the way he looked at me, like I was being examined from head to toe, doesn’t sit well with me. I’m hardly unbiased—I already have reason to dislike him before we even met—and it’s possible that I’m overreacting, but I don’t want to spend any more time with him than absolutely necessary.
I’m so caught up in my thoughts that I barely notice when Samis catches up with me. “Darien, stop walking so fast,” he says, his voice low. “I want to talk to you.”
His words shake me out of my reverie. “What is it?”
“I know you’re upset about the whole situation. But if you want to stay with Tag, you need to think this through. Why would Arbois come here himself , this early in the negotiations, when he could have sent a representative? Normally suitors of his rank don’t show up in person until after an initial agreement has been drafted, but we haven’t even started negotiating yet. I don’t know exactly what it is, but something seems strange about all this. He’s here for a reason. He wants something, and I don’t think it’s you. At least, not you as a person. I mean no offense, of course.”
Somehow, I’m not offended. “Alright, then. If you’re so sure that he wants something, then what is it?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know yet. Maybe he’s trying to make someone back home jealous, or to make contacts here so he can open a new market for Jirenian goods. Maybe the Jirenian treasury is running out of money, and he’s hoping he can get a large dowry before we find out that they’re destitute. Or maybe it’s something else entirely. Whatever it is, you and I need to figure it out, because maybe if we give it to him, he’ll quit the negotiations and go back to Jirena Sadai. I assume that’s what you want.” He pauses, his expression deadly serious. “But you cannot find out what he wants if you ignore him, or if you get on his bad side. You need to gain his trust.”
I swallow a lump in my throat that wasn’t there just a few seconds before. “I’ll try my best to be civil to him. But gaining his trust ? I don’t know if I can do that.”
“You have to,” Samis says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world. “It might be the only way you can get rid of Arbois before Father decides it’s time for you to marry him.”
He turns and walks away without waiting for a response, leaving me standing by myself, feeling more alone than I’ve ever felt in my life.
The remaining time before dinner flies by far too quickly for my liking. A couple hours before I’m supposed to go to the dining room, I send a message to Ivy, asking if she wants to help pick out my outfit. I think she can tell I want her commiseration more than her fashion advice, though, because she listens to me patiently while I complain, as she has several times in the last week or so.
With less than half an hour to go before dinner, she finally chooses some clothes for me without making me try on a dozen different options, as she normally would. She even offers to ‘rough up’ Arbois for me, but it doesn’t take me very long to shoot down that idea. Something tells me it wouldn’t end well if Arbois stormed out of the palace and back to Jirena Sadai with a stab wound or two.
At the appointed time—and not a second earlier—I make my way down to the dining room. Everyone else is already there waiting for me, and I try my best not to feel self-conscious as I walk into the room with their eyes all on me. Shortly after I arrive, everyone makes their way to the table, ready to eat.
Of course, I’m seated next to Arbois. Thankfully, he’s engaged in a conversation with Father, and they continue to converse as we take our seats, and the first course is served. I’m not quite sure how I feel about being ignored by him—on the one hand, I’m afraid I’ll slip up and accidentally reveal to him that I don’t want to marry him, but Samis’s admonition to gain his trust is still fresh in my mind, and I know I’m going to have to talk to Arbois at some point in order to do that. I just need to build up my confidence a bit first.
I get my chance after the second course has been served, when Father is distracted by something Samis has said. I turn to Arbois and say to him, “How do you like Cedelia so far?”
He gives me a polite smile. “I must say, it’s rather beautiful. I’ve actually been meaning to come here for quite a while—there are a few historical sites of interest that I want to see while I’m here.”
“Ah, so you’re interested in history then?” I inwardly breathe a sigh of relief as he nods. History seems like a safe subject to discuss, especially if he enjoys it too. “What made you want to study the subject?”
He chuckles as though I’ve just made a joke. “How could I not, living in Segaron? The city is steeped in history, you know. It’s difficult to turn one’s head without seeing some monument or ancient building. Not that I mean to insult Cedelia, of course. But Segaron was the capital of the Idrian Empire for centuries. Sometimes, I feel like I can almost hear the Imperial cavalry parading in the courtyard of the Palace of the Moon. You have heard of the Palace of the Moon, yes?”
“Of course I have,” I say, pushing down a twinge of annoyance. “It was the emperor’s residence, wasn’t it?”
“It was, until my family conquered it. Calling it a palace is a bit of a misnomer—it’s really a fortress, but I suppose the former sounds better. In any event, it’s quite large. I daresay this entire building we sit in, as grand as it is, would fit in the main courtyard. The walls are gray, and in the winter, ice freezes on them. Some say when the moon is full, light reflects off the ice and makes the walls shine too—hence the name.” He smiles at me. “You’ll see for yourself sometime. I’m sure we’ll return to Segaron once we’re married.”
“Perhaps.” I know I should be polite, but I can’t stop myself from needling him a bit. “I’m sure Segaron was a sight to behold back in the days of the Empire. But is it really the same now?”
“Of course it is.” He says it like he’s telling me the sky is blue. “The Empire may be gone, but its legacy remains. The war destroyed much of the city, but not all of it, and what was destroyed has been rebuilt since. I doubt even the last empress would notice the difference, were she alive today.” His eyes focus on a point over shoulder, as though he’s looking through me. “And who knows what could happen? Perhaps someday the Empire—or something like it—will return, and Segaron will be the Imperial capital once again. Oh, it might take decades, and it would require a steep price in blood and steel, but it could happen. All it would take is someone with the right vision and enough ambition to see it through… That’s just a pipe dream, of course. But you’ll see how glorious Segaron—really, all of Jirena Sadai—is for yourself soon enough.”
Before I can respond, Mother asks him about his journey, and he turns away from me, which is fortunate because I had no idea what I was going to say. I turn back to my food, only to find that my appetite has completely disappeared. Instead of hunger, a cold sensation creeps through me, starting at my toes and working up toward my head. I already knew I might have to marry him whether I wanted to or not, but now, for the first time, it seems real , not just an abstract possibility.
Without really thinking about it, I push my chair away from the table and stand up. The rest of the party’s conversations stop as everyone looks in my direction, making me feel even more self-conscious.
“Are you alright, Darien?” Samis asks, the concern in his tone clear.
“I’m fine, thank you,” I reply, making a half-hearted attempt at a smile. “I just need to get some air. I’ll be back in a few moments.”
I walk away from the table without waiting to hear if anyone responds, but I can’t avoid the feeling of their eyes on me as I make my escape.
“He doesn’t sound too bad,” Tag says later that night, tapping his foot against the floor. “Although, perhaps I should be worried. If I remember correctly, you have a track record of falling for men when you dine with them for the first time.”
“That only happened once. I promise.” I squeeze his hand lightly, and he grins at me. “In all honesty, though, you don’t have to worry about me falling in love with him. Like Samis said, there’s something … off about him, something I can’t quite put my finger on.” I pause, then sigh. “Or maybe I’m just grasping at straws, searching for a reason not to like him. Either way, I’m not interested in courting him.”
“Don’t worry, I believe you.” He stands up and wraps his arms around me, and when he speaks again, his voice is as soft as his touch. “You know, in a way, I’m glad he’s not outright terrible. It seems like you’re going to have to be around him, whether you like it or not. At least this way, you won’t have to suffer too much.”
“I suppose that’s true.” I kiss him lightly on the nose. “But in the end, it doesn’t really matter. As long as I have you to come back to, I can handle being around him for a little while.”
Tag’s expression turns nervous, and just like that I’m cold all over again, like I’ve been dipped in ice water. “What’s wrong?” I ask him.
He silently extricates himself from my grip and returns to his previous perch on my bed. “I’ve been thinking about that myself,” he says slowly. “Do you think it’s a good idea for us to spend so much time together while Arbois is here?”
“Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”
“What if we get caught? I know we’re technically not doing anything wrong, but I don’t think your father would take it well if he found out we’re still courting. We could get into serious trouble.”
I sit on the bed next to him and wrap him in my arms. “Don’t worry about that. We won’t get caught. And if we do, it won’t be a problem.”
“It won't be a problem for you . You’re a prince. You can get away with things like this. I know you don’t intend to marry Arbois, but the rest of the court doesn’t know that. If people think I’m the reason the negotiations failed, whatever reputation I have will be completely destroyed.”
I can’t deny that he’s right, but I don’t want to admit it. “You think we should just avoid each other completely until he leaves?”
“No! Of course I’m not saying that. I just think we should stop sleeping in the same bed every night.” He leans in and gently kisses my cheek. “Trust me, I don’t like it either. I could never give you up completely. We’ll still see each other sometimes during the day, or in the evening. It only has to last until he’s gone.”
I feel my stubborn opposition draining away. “If you think that’s for the best, then I’ll follow your lead. But are you sure it’s what you want?”
He looks me directly in the eye, his jaws set and his eyes shining. “Is it what I want ? Of course not. I want to spend my days and nights with you, and in a perfect world, that’s exactly what I’d do. But we don’t live in a perfect world, Darien. Even if the chance of us getting caught is small, the risk is great—for me, at least. As much as I want to, I can’t ignore that.”
I look into his earth-brown eyes. I can see he’s telling the truth, that he really is worried about the consequences. “Alright, you’ve convinced me. I hate the idea of being away from you, but I can see why it’s necessary.”
He leans against me, and I gently stroke his hair. “I’m sorry,” he says. “You know how I feel about you. If we’re lucky, Arbois will leave soon, and we can go back to the way we were before.”