29. Chapter 29
Chapter twenty-nine
T he next few days are some of the worst of my life—maybe even worse than the days after Samis and Father died. At least then, I still had some hope that things would turn out okay, if only I could just make it through to the other side.
But now … not only are Samis and Father gone, but Tag is too, and I’m never going to get him back. Plus, I don’t even know where Mother is, and I could use her love and support now more than ever. The only silver lining is that wherever she is, it has to be less dangerous than here. Maybe, in a twisted way, it’s good that she’s not here—I don’t doubt that Arbois would threaten her in order to keep me in line. I just hope that wherever she is, she’s okay.
True to her word, Emma does her best to ignore Arbois, at least from what I can tell. It wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest to find out that she’s silently fantasizing about ways to get rid of him, but as long as she doesn’t act on any of them, I’m okay with it. Not that I could do much to stop her if she really decided to follow through with it, though. There’s not much I can do to stop anyone from doing anything, these days.
As the days pass, I try my best to keep to a routine, trying to bury myself in my work so I can forget about everything that’s gone wrong recently. To my surprise, it does help somewhat, although nothing can truly fill the hole in my heart that Tag used to occupy. But I slog through, trying to put on a good face, to pretend like everything’s okay when I know it’s not. For the most part, I manage to succeed.
The only time my facade cracks is at the first council meeting after Arbois’s revelation, three days after Tag left. I haven’t been looking forward to it—not that I’m ever really looking forward to a council meeting, but this one even less.
I wait for everyone to settle down before I make my announcement. I have no doubt that informing the council of Arbois’s crimes would be ‘against his wishes,’ as he so delicately put it, so I decide to keep it short. “I’m pleased to announce that I am engaged to Prince Arbois of Jirena Sadai,” I say with a sour taste in my mouth, hoping none of them can see through my facade to the distress that underlies it. “We haven’t set a date for the wedding yet, but I will inform this Council once we have done so.”
The bitterness in my mouth only grows stronger as the councilors break out into polite applause. Most, if not all, of them have relieved expressions, and I almost break as I think about how I should be announcing my engagement to the man I love, not the one who murdered my family. I’m so sorry, Tag , I think to myself, trying to hold back tears as their applause washes over me. I’m so sorry .
Through some strength of will I didn’t know I possessed, I manage to pull myself together, and by the time their applause peters out, I’m back to whatever passes for normal these days.
“This is excellent news, Your Majesty,” Voeli says as soon as the applause has stopped. “Congratulations, and I wish you a happy marriage.”
The rest of the councilors congratulate me in turn, each sounding happier than the last—although Belling gives me a strange look before adding their congratulations—until I feel like I’m going to burst. At least the council is so collectively relieved that they don’t bother to ask why I’ve changed my mind in the space of a couple days; I don’t know how I could possibly give them a satisfactory explanation without implicating Arbois. Instead, I sit there and acknowledge their congratulations with as much grace as I can muster, hoping that nobody notices I’m acting strange. If they do, maybe they’ll just think it’s nerves; far better for them to think that than to know the truth.
Once that’s done, I do my best to settle into my new life as Arbois’s fiancé, a life of gray emptiness laced with simmering hatred. One week passes, then two, as the days lengthen and summer comes upon us in full force. At first, I expect he’ll want to lord it over me, to rub his victory in my face. But he’s apparently content to leave me alone, in no rush to get married now that he has me in the palm of his hand. I suppose it makes sense, in a strange way. He knows it’s too late for me to change my mind and send him away, and it’s not like he’s going to be any more in control of Soeria’s army if he convinces everyone that he and I are in love.
However, it quickly becomes clear that even if he’s not interested in me personally, he is very interested in the military that I nominally control, despite its relative weakness compared to Jirena Sadai’s. Two or three times a week, he has me meet him so he can learn more about our army, whether it’s a tour of the city walls, going over reports from the quartermaster about our emergency supplies, or so he can interrogate me about troop detachments. I try my best to hold as much information back from him as I can—even if the whole point of me marrying him is so that his country won’t invade mine, it still feels wrong to give away all of this intelligence—but every time I become evasive, he just smiles at me like I’m a rebellious child, secure in the knowledge that he will find out what he wants to know one way or another. It drives me absolutely insane, but I can’t see what I can do about it.
Fortunately, there’s at least one person outside my family who’s not entirely happy with the new status quo. I meet with Belling about once a week so they can give me an update on the state of the military and bring any important matters to my attention. Given the events of the past few weeks, I thought Arbois might insist on joining these meetings too, but apparently he has better things to do, and is content to let me attend them without him. It’s a small silver lining, but a silver lining nonetheless.
“…and lastly, there’s the matter of the experimental cannon I’ve been updating Your Majesty on,” Belling says, their tone as dry and brisk as ever. “Major Pressa tells me it is finally ready for testing. She is planning to leave for Fort Alesen tomorrow; there is quite a bit of open space in that area, and the testing can proceed there without too much concern for the safety of any nearby civilians should the cannon fail. I will attend as well and will report back to Your Majesty when I return.”
In truth, I had forgotten that this cannon even existed—if I ever actually knew about it in the first place—but it sounds like exactly the sort of thing Arbois will want to see. I’ll have to go too, as Major Pressa would never let any foreigner attend such a test without a royal escort, even if he is my fiancé. That means I’ll be stuck with him in close quarters for at least a week, and I’m sure it’ll be a living hell. But if I refuse to go with him, he’ll try to force me and if that doesn’t work, he’ll take it out on me—or worse, my family. I wonder if I could convince them to do the test here instead ? It’s not like there aren’t any open spaces near Cedelia, so if Pressa is worried about safety, then—
Just then, something shifts in my mind. “What exactly are the safety concerns with this cannon?” I ask slowly. “Is it more dangerous than any other weapon?”
“I believe the danger comes more from the fact that it is untested rather than any sort of qualities of the cannon itself.” They shrug. “I won’t bore Your Majesty with details, but suffice to say that there are many things that can go wrong with artillery, even if it’s been tested exhaustively. However, I can assure you that everyone present at such a test, from Major Pressa down to the lowliest private, is fully trained to minimize the chances of any problems occurring. Even their horses are specially selected and trained for such a test. As long as we keep a good distance from any unsuspecting civilians, I don’t foresee any issues.”
I try not to grimace. I had hoped … It was a long shot anyway. Even if I could somehow make the test fail, how could I ensure that Arbois, and only Arbois, was affected? He may be a madman, but he’s not stupid. No, I’ll just have to find another way to get rid of him .
I’m about to ask Belling if there’s anything else, but something they just said sticks in my mind like a burr in my boot. Why would the horses need to be trained ? It’s not like they have to do anything besides sit there and not buck their riders. But why would they—
Then it hits me, like a bolt out of the blue, and almost immediately a plan starts forming in my head. Belling looks at me, clearly waiting for me to respond, but instead I just take a few moments to think, my muscles quivering. If this works … I’ll have to run it by Ivy and see if she thinks it’s plausible, but if I’m right, I could solve my biggest problem without bringing down Arbois’s wrath on me and my family. And Emma too—she’d kill me if I left her out. “Is there any way you can move the test closer to Cedelia?” I phrase it as a question, but I’m not willing to take no for an answer. This won’t work if I’m forced to go to Fort Alesen. “I understand that you want to make certain no one is harmed if the test goes wrong, but surely there must be somewhere around here that’s suitable.”
Belling thinks for a moment. “I believe there may be an adequate testing location nearby,” they finally say. “I will speak to Major Pressa. I assume Your Majesty and Prince Arbois will attend if the test is relocated?”
I let out a breath, trying not to show the relief I feel. “That’s correct. If it’s not too much trouble, I would also like you to provide me with a list of everyone else who will be attending, including the soldiers themselves.”
It’s a slightly odd request, but Belling doesn’t even blink. “Of course, Your Majesty. I’ll have that information to you within the hour.”
“Perfect. Thank you, Belling.” May our next meeting be under better circumstances . “Now, if that’s all?”
They nod, but instead of rising, they hesitate. “Forgive me for asking, Your Majesty,” they say slowly, “but are you quite certain it is a good idea to bring Prince Arbois to this test? It’s not that I don’t trust you, but he is a foreign prince, and I don’t know that it’s a good idea to let him in on a top-secret military project such as this one.”
I give them a smile, and even though I can’t see my own face, I know there’s no mirth in it. “Yes, Belling, I’m quite certain that Arbois should be there,” I reply, an edge to my voice that wasn’t there before. “In fact, I’m counting on it.”