Chapter 11 Maddison
MADDISON
The drive to the academy is quiet. The driver makes no effort to talk to us, and River and I are content with that.
River sends a text at the beginning of the drive, but other than that, we both just sit in the silence.
It’s not awkward. It’s comfortable. I’d probably fall asleep, but so many things are running through my mind, like an out of control merry-go-round.
Could this necklace in my bag be the real deal?
If so, what does that mean? And what about that guy in the grocery store?
Why was he acting so weird about my aunt?
And then comes the other questions …
Ones about River.
He is gorgeous, that has always been a given since the day I first laid eyes on him.
It didn’t matter in the beginning because I assumed he’d be an asshole.
He’s not. He’s the kind of guy that I could see myself breaking my no-dating rule for.
But he’s also in an arranged betrothal, and that means if I go there with him—decide to break my rule—I’m knowingly walking into heartbreak.
“What’re you thinking about?” he unexpectedly asks, his fingers brushing through my hair.
You, I want to say, but instead I mumble, “The necklace and that Grey guy.”
We’re both angled toward each other, with our heads resting against the back of the seat, only inches apart. So, when he turns his head to look at me, he’s so close that I can see the streetlights reflecting in his pupils.
“I can’t answer the necklace thing for you right now. However …” He raises his hips so he can fish his phone out of his pocket. Then he swipes his finger across the screen and types Grey’s name into the search engine. “This is who he is.” He hands me the phone.
I assess the man on the screen. In some of the photos, he looks younger than he did in the store.
In others, he looks the same. He’s a pretty big deal in the royal community.
In fact, many of the articles list him as the best lawyer in the country.
He defended a lot of wealthy men and got them off the hook for things like fraud, tax evasion, and even murder.
“I don’t know … I feel like he might be one of those lawyers who gets the bad guys off the hook,” I state. “The cases he’s on could easily be that.”
“Let me see.” He takes the phone from me and skim-reads the article. “Shit, I didn’t know this about him.”
“Really? It seems like it’s pretty big news.”
“Yeah, sometimes I get lost in my own world, worrying about stuff. Finn says I’m wasting my life with all the worrying I’m doing.” He frowns as he puts his phone onto his lap.
“He might be right, but I think you have stuff to worry about.” I pause with my lips pressed together. “Have you ever thought about trying to get out of it?”
His eyes lift to mine. “Lately, yeah. I think the closer it gets to the day I have to give up my future, the more I think about it. It’s almost like knowing the day you’re going to die.”
I feel so bad for him. “I’m sorry. As much as my life has sucked, I’ve never felt that sort of responsibility.”
He gives me a really look. “Maddy, your dad threw you under the bus, and now you have drug dealers chasing after you.”
“Is that the same, though? I mean, mine isn’t indefinitely.” Is it?
What if it is? What if my father’s sins always haunt me?
I swallow hard at that thought as the car arrives at the academy. It slows to a stop at the stairway that leads to the entrance. River thanks the driver then opens his door and leaves it open for me to climb out. I scoop over and get out, the cool air wrapping around me and dancing through my hair.
River leans in to collect the bag of milk and cookies then shuts the door.
“I’m sorry,” he sputters as we ascend the stairs.
“For what?” I grip the railing as I walk.
“I feel like I bummed you out by saying that stuff about your father.” The bag brushes against his leg as he takes a step. “I don’t know why I brought it up.”
“It’s just the truth. And you didn’t bum me out. I’m just thinking about if there will ever be a time when I won’t have to think about him, you know.”
“I wish I could envision a time when I didn’t have to talk to my father, but that’ll never happen.” He sighs. “He’ll be in my life for an eternity, constantly reminding me that I have his blood running through my veins.”
We arrive at the top of the stairs then and veer right toward the grass area.
“He’s never been that way with Finn?” I wonder, hugging my arms around myself.
“Honestly, he’s been pretty neglectful toward Finn. I think that’s why he is the way he is.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, my twin brother is a total attention whore.” He points his finger toward the gate that leads to the track. “You want to go sit at the bleachers?”
“Sure.” I follow him as he starts in that direction. “You think that’s why he is the way he is?”
“I’m not positive, but it’s my theory.” He opens the gate and moves to the side to let me go first.
Once I’m in, he steps in beside me and shuts and locks the gate behind us.
My gaze takes in the surroundings, the shadows of the trees in the distance, the occasional light glowing against the darkness.
Not a single person is in sight and, instinctively, I get nervous about being alone.
In northside, walking like this is asking to get jumped.
And it’s not that I believe Royal City is a completely safe place—look at the note that was left on my door.
However, I trust River, and that is so weird.
“You good?” River asks as he steps up beside me with worry creasing his features.
I realize I’m standing motionless near the entrance, staring into empty space.
“Yeah, I was thinking.” My boots scuff as I start toward the bleachers. “About how, if I were in northside, I’d never voluntarily walk around alone like this.” I step up onto the metal stairs that lead to the bleachers. “I did it like when I got off work, but that was out of necessity.”
As I reach the first row of bleachers, I plop down into a seat and let out a whimper as the cold metal presses through the thin material of my tights.
“Gah, that’s cold,” I squeak as I stand up.
River sets the bag of cookies and milk down then shucks off his jacket, laying it down on the metal seat.
I shake my head in protest. “No way. You’ll freeze.”
“I have a long-sleeved shirt on. I’ll be fine,” he insists as he takes a seat. “I don’t want your legs to freeze.” Upon saying that, his attention drifts up and down my legs. Then, with a rake of his teeth along his bottom lip, he leans over and rummages through the bag.
I could keep arguing, but I don’t. It won’t accomplish anything. So, I carefully sit back down.
He sits up straight with the box of cookies in his hand, which he sets onto his lap, then opens it up, and grabs one to hand to me.
“Thank you,” I say as I take the cookie.
“You’re welcome.” He retrieves the tweezers next and rips open the packaging. “Let me see your finger.”
I stick out my hand, and he gently takes it in his, inspecting the sliver. “Rest your hand on my leg,” he instructs, and I do.
He sets the box of cookies aside, takes out his phone, and attempts to hold it in one hand while using the tweezers with his other hand.
He’s struggling, though, so I set the cookie on my lap and take his phone from him.
He offers me a smile as I shine the light on my finger, and then he proceeds to gently attempt to pluck it out.
I wince every so often, but truthfully, I’m mesmerized by the entire with how careful he’s being, and the fact that he’s even doing it. And I totally end up forgetting to breathe. That results in my sucking in a shaky breath.
His gaze flits to mine. “It hurts. I’m sorry.”
“You’re fine,” I assure him, feeling like a total dumbass over my reaction.
He returns his attention to the sliver. Strands of his hair fall into his eyes, and I have the overwhelming compulsion to sweep them out of his face. Thank God, I don’t.
Moments later, he gets the sliver out.
“There you go.” He straightens as I remove my hand from his lap. He tosses the tweezers into the bag then picks up the box of cookies, grabs one, and reclines back in the seat.
I do the same thing and gaze up at the stars as I take a bite of my cookie. My mind is racing over the lingering fluttering feelings inside me. I attempt to shake them off, to no avail.
I need a distraction.
“Do you know any constellations?” I wonder as I take another bite of the cookie.
“I don’t. Noah used to …” He trails off, and when I look at him, he’s stuffing half of a cookie into his mouth.
“Do you miss him?” I angle my knees inward.
He chews for a moment. “I do. I hate that I do because it makes everything so much harder. We’ve known each other forever, though, and he, Finn, and I hung out together all the time.
And then we didn’t. It almost felt like I lost a part of myself.
” His dark eyes land on me. “Have you ever felt that way before?”
My chest constricts as I answer, “Truthfully, no. I’ve never really connected with anyone on that level. I loved my aunt, but she was constantly bouncing in and out of my life, so it got normalized for me.”
He brushes some crumbs off his lap. “You never had any friends you spent time with?”
“Nope. I sort of bounced around between groups, but my wanting to get out of northside wasn’t that common.
” I pick at the sprinkles of the cookie.
“And I mean, I get it. It’s hard to dream big when you’re constantly being kicked around and told you’re worthless.
Again, another normalization.” I stretch my legs out.
“I was seen as the crazy one. Even me wanting to go to college got me so many flabbergasted looks.”
He stretches out his legs, too. “Do you know what you want to be once you graduate?”
“Nope, I’m just in a general program right now, but I want to find something. I’m not very good at anything, really. Well, besides running, but that’s not a career.”