Chapter 3
FINN
I almost lost it when River suggested I fake date Maddy. I wanted to. Desperately. But deep down, I know that'll only complicate things more. River likes Maddy. A lot. I like Maddy. A lot. River doesn't know about my feelings for Maddy. If he did, he might not have suggested it.
Besides, my feelings are mostly lust.
Okay, that's a lie. Most of my life, I've felt pretty empty. But with Maddy, something is different. I'm not even sure what it is, other than I care about her.
When she ran her fingers through my hair while we were in the foyer, I almost came in my pants, which is why I cracked the joke about River. I wanted the attention off me, and it worked.
Sort of…
As I look at my reflection in the mirror, particularly at the messy blonde strands of my hair, the ghost of the memory of how good it felt when Maddy combed her fingers through my hair floods my mind.
And now I'm hard again.
"Dammit." I think about the smell of the locker room until my hard-on fades.
Then I grab my car keys and head out of my room, dressed in what Maddy deems appropriate attire; a blue hoodie, jeans, and sneakers.
She's waiting in the hallway when I exit my bedroom, leaning against the wall with her foot propped against it, her arms are crossed, and she's wearing a leather jacket over the outfit. She's also texting someone.
"Is that Lily?" I ask, and she startles.
"Yeah, she's been texting me for the last few minutes." She looks back at her phone and sends another message. "She's fine. She's still locked in the bathroom. I told her we'd hurry, but that it'll take us a bit to get there."
"Oh, Maddison." I lightly tug on a strand of her hair, attempting to focus on anything other than my worry for Lily. Deflecting is my thing, but I'll admit, it's not working right now, probably because of all the other stuff happening. "Are you underestimating my driving skills again?"
She peers up at me with those gorgeous, big eyes of hers. "Right. I forgot about the way you drive.”
I feign being hurt. "Am I that forgettable?"
She rolls her eyes. "You know you're not." She pats my cheek, and I grin, a flirty retort playing on the tip of my tongue.
But the retort fades as River walks out of Noah's room with Noah in tow. They're both wearing a similar hoodie, jeans, and sneakers, but I'm a little perplexed why Noah is with River.
"I think the more people we have, the better," River explains, reading my confusion. "Considering what happened the last time we went to northside."
"Good idea. I wish I had thought to bring my knife, but it's at the academy,” I say, stuffing my hand into my pockets.
"It's cool. I'm packing anyway," Maddy says offhandedly as she sends Lily another text.
"What the hell?" I say as River gapes at her.
Noah doesn't seem as surprised, though.
"Not with a gun," she adds, patting her pocket. "I have a knife, pepper spray, and a taser. Y'all want one?"
River scrubs his hand across his mouth while Noah looks away to conceal his laugh.
I cock my brow at her. "Did you just y'all us?"
"Yeah… So what?" Maddy's voice carries a hint of defensiveness, then she scoffs, "Whatever, bro, let's roll." She snaps her fingers at us as she starts down the hallway.
"I have to give her credit," I tell River as we follow her. "She knows how to keep the mood light even when it's dark as hell."
He nods with a frown. "I don't think that's a good thing, though. I think it just means she's used to dark stuff."
He's right.
And it makes me sad to think that's all she knows.
Even in my shit show of a life, there's been a bit of light.