Chapter 17 #2
I closed the remaining distance between us, bringing my hand up to cup his face as I pressed my lips to his. This kiss was slower, more intentional, without the urgency of stolen moments or fear of discovery. This was a choice, deliberate and careful, and the knowledge made everything more intense.
Adan responded immediately, his hand coming up to tangle in my hair as he deepened the kiss. I could taste the remnants of our meal on his lips, could feel the way his breathing changed as I traced his bottom lip with my tongue.
“God, you’re good at that,” he murmured against my mouth.
“So are you.”
“I’ve been thinking about this all day.”
“Just today?”
“Okay, longer than that. Much longer.”
I kissed him again, harder this time, my control starting to slip as weeks of careful restraint finally gave way.
His hands found the hem of my shirt, fingertips brushing against the skin of my lower back, and the contact sent heat racing through my system.
Of course it was him who’d take that next step. He was fearless.
“Is this okay?” he asked, his voice rough with want.
“More than okay.”
His hands slipped under my shirt properly then, palms flat against my back, pulling me closer until there was no space left between us on the couch.
The heat of his body radiated through his clothes as our kissing became more desperate.
I’d grown hard when we started kissing, and now my cock was pressing against the confines of my underwear.
When his lips moved to my neck, finding the sensitive spot just below my ear, I couldn’t hold back the sound that escaped me. The combination of his mouth on my skin and his hands exploring my back was overwhelming in the best possible way.
“Adan,” I managed, my voice coming out breathless.
“Yeah?”
“Are you sure about this? Because if we go further, I don’t think I’ll want to stop.”
He pulled back to look at me, his eyes dark with desire but also completely serious. “I’m sure. Are you?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything.”
“Good.”
This time, when he kissed me, it was with the knowledge that we weren’t going to stop, that we were going to explore what we’d been denying ourselves.
His hands grew bolder, slipping higher under my shirt, and when I responded by tugging at the buttons of his shirt, he helped me, our movements becoming less coordinated as need took over.
I ran my hands along his hot, smooth skin, following the dips and curves of his body.
He was so perfect, like the masterpiece of a sculptor.
Every muscle was defined, hard, and the strength of it, the sheer beauty of it, left me all but breathless.
Or maybe that was because we were still kissing, our mouths fused together like magnets and our tongues dancing and sliding, exploring and stroking.
When we finally broke apart, both of us shirtless and breathing hard, Adan’s gaze traveled over my chest and shoulders with an appreciation that made me feel more desired than I ever had in my life.
“You’re beautiful,” he said, his voice filled with wonder.
“I’d never thought I would say that of another man, but you are. ”
“So are you.”
And he was. The hockey player’s build I’d been trying not to notice for months was on full display now, proving what I’d felt under my fingers before.
His broad shoulders, that wide chest, his six-pack—the kind of muscle that came from years of athletic training.
But it was the expression on his face that affected me the most, the way he was looking at me like I was something precious.
When he leaned forward to kiss my collarbone, then lower to my chest, I had to grip the back of the couch to keep myself steady.
Every touch of his lips against my skin felt electric, like he was awakening nerve endings I didn’t know I had.
He slid his hand down my chest, past my bellybutton, and I shivered.
He stopped at my waistband, looking up at me. I nodded.
His fingers worked at my belt, then the button and zipper of my jeans, movements that were eager but not rushed. When his hand slipped inside my underwear and wrapped around my rock-hard cock, I had to bite back a groan at the sensation.
His fingertips traced patterns along my dick as he stroked me slowly, exploring every inch.
I shuddered at the sensation, letting my head fall back against the couch cushions.
This was entirely new territory for both of us, but Adan seemed determined to learn, to find out what made me gasp and tremble.
“Is this good?” he asked.
“So good.”
“I’ve never done this.”
“Neither have I.”
He halted, his eyes growing wide. “Wait, you haven’t? I thought you were…”
I shook my head. “You’re my first. Man, I mean. I’ve been with women, but not this.”
He made a low sound in the back of his throat. “I like that.”
“What?”
“That I’m your first. We can discover together.”
We sure could, and before I could say anything else, he kissed me again. Adan kissed the same way he did everything else: with confidence and dedication. His tongue surged into my mouth, and after we battled briefly for dominance, I let him have his way. Surrender had never tasted sweeter.
I reached for him then, eager to do some exploring of my own. I traced the hard planes of his chest, his heart hammering beneath my palm. Lower, I followed the trail of hair that disappeared into his jeans, letting my fingertips dip below the waistband.
Adan made a sound low in his throat, somewhere between a groan and a growl. His hand tightened reflexively around my cock, which in turn made me moan. “Too many clothes. You’re wearing too many clothes.”
“So are you.”
We took care of it quickly, dragging down pants and underwear, and for good measure, I took off my socks as well. Adan grinned when he saw it, then followed my example. I lay back on the couch on my back, and he lowered himself on top of me.
I swallowed thickly. “That’s a whole new feeling, having a man on top of me.”
Adan brushed my cheek with an unexpectedly tender gesture. “I know. But it’s a good feeling.”
“The best.”
He lowered his mouth again, and our lips met once more.
His tongue slid against mine as the kiss deepened, all heat and passion.
My hands explored the hard planes of his body as our kisses grew hotter and deeper.
I couldn’t get enough of the way his bare skin felt under my fingertips, so strong and warm and alive.
Adan’s weight pressing me into the couch was a delicious new sensation that made my head spin with want.
He broke the kiss to trail his lips along my jaw and down the side of my neck.
I gasped when he found a particularly sensitive spot and sucked gently.
He lingered there, working the skin until I was sure there would be a mark.
The thought of being claimed and marked by him sent a thrill through me.
Not something I’d ever thought I would be into, but with him, it was one surprise after another.
When his fingers brushed over my nipples, I arched into the touch, a moan escaping me.
He did it again, rolling the sensitive nubs between his fingers.
Pleasure sparked along my nerve endings, and my hips bucked up involuntarily, seeking friction.
When his fingers wrapped around my cock again, I moaned into his mouth.
He stroked me slowly, teasingly, building the pleasure until I was panting and writhing beneath him.
I reached between us to take him in hand as well, finding him thick and hard and perfect.
We moved together, hands working in tandem, breaths mingling as soft gasps and grunts of pleasure filled the room.
It was clumsy and unpracticed, neither of us experienced with this, but it was also the most erotic thing I could’ve ever imagined.
Adan seemed to know instinctively how to touch me, where to linger, when to speed up or slow down.
And from the way he was throbbing in my grip, I knew I was doing something right as well.
“Nils,” he breathed against my lips. “I’m close…”
“Me too,” I managed. “Don’t stop.”
He didn’t stop. His hand kept moving on me, faster now, his grip tightening as my own hold on his cock intensified too. We moved in a perfect rhythm, both of us chasing that peak. The coil of pleasure low in my belly wound tighter and tighter, my muscles tensing as I rapidly approached the edge.
“Adan,” I gasped out. “I’m gonna—”
Before I could finish the sentence, the intense pleasure crested and I was coming hard, spilling over his fist and onto my stomach as a guttural moan was ripped from my throat. I cried out his name as my orgasm crashed through me, wave after wave of intense, toe-curling pleasure.
Adan followed me over the edge a moment later, his release joining mine as he shuddered and groaned my name. We stroked each other through it, extending the sensations until they bordered on too much.
For several long moments, we lay there, chests heaving as we caught our breath in the aftermath. Adan’s forehead rested against mine, our noses brushing, sharing air in the scant space between our mouths. I could feel his heart pounding against my chest, the rhythm gradually slowing.
Then Adan rolled to the side, pulling me with him so we lay facing each other on the narrow couch. He looked utterly debauched, his hair a mess, lips swollen, a sheen of sweat glistening on his skin. I’d never seen anything so beautiful.
“What are you thinking?” he asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
“That I should probably feel guilty about what we did, but I don’t.”
“Good. Because I don’t either.”
“This complicates everything.”
“Everything was already complicated. I don’t think complicated comes in levels. It either is or it isn’t.”
I tilted my head to look at him. “You’re very philosophical for someone who just had their first sexual experience with a man.”
He snorted. “As if that has anything to do with it. Besides, it was your first time too.”
“True.”
Reluctantly, I rolled off the couch. “Let me get some tissues to clean up.”
I took quick care of myself, then handed Adan some tissues so he could wipe himself clean. As soon as that was done, I threw them all in the trash and hurried back to the couch, where Adan still lay stretched out like a Renaissance painting. He opened his arm and I snuggled close.
We stayed like that for another hour, talking quietly about nothing important, just enjoying the feeling of being close without having to worry about being discovered or maintaining appropriate distance. Eventually, Adan’s breathing evened out, and I realized he’d fallen asleep against my shoulder.
I should’ve woken him up, should have sent him home to his own bed and his normal life. Instead, I carefully maneuvered us both so we were lying down on the couch, Adan’s head pillowed on my chest, his arm around my waist, and then I wrapped a blanket around us.
This was dangerous territory—not just the physical intimacy we’d shared, but this emotional closeness, this domestic comfort that felt more significant than anything that had come before it.
But as I listened to Adan’s steady breathing and felt the weight of his body against mine, I couldn’t bring myself to regret any of it.
I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
Even if I had no idea how we were going to make any of this work in the real world.