Chapter One #4
He’d said he wouldn’t have sex with anyone else while they were together, and that was what Pel should be concentrating on.
Yes, it still seemed more than a little unbelievable that the Extraordinary High Prince was interested in Pel…
but that wasn’t fair, was it? That was reducing Tor to his position and magic just like Pel hated when people did it to him.
Sure, Pel’s descriptions were a lot less flattering, but the principle was the same.
So if Pel wasn’t involved with Tor for his position or his magic—or just because he was hot, although that sure didn’t hurt—then why ascribe such motives to Tor?
Pel had thought he was pretty settled in who he was, that he’d acknowledged he’d never please his father, could probably never regain a close relationship with his siblings, and would always be Unremarkable.
The more time he spent with Tor, though, the less certain he was that he was behaving altogether reasonably.
He’d made an ass of himself in those early days, and he’d made a lot of assumptions.
When he’d gotten to know Tor as a person, he’d discovered so much more. Tor had told him things that he’d never confessed to anyone else. Yes, he’d fled Alossa and his family, but maybe the distance was exactly what he needed. Maybe Pel was what he’d needed to help him begin to sort things out.
Maybe this relationship really could be a good thing for both of them.
Pel squared his shoulders and admitted, “I’m glad you’re here.”
A slow smile spread across Tor’s face. It was Pel’s favorite, the one that lit up his eyes. This one was just for Pel, or that was what it felt like.
“Me, too. You don’t know how much.”
If it was anything like what Pel felt, he thought he did know.
“Meet me later?” Tor asked, expression open and hopeful.
“Of course.”
“I mean, not just in an hour or so to go visit the farms.”
Pel laughed. “I knew what you meant.”
“After dinner?” Tor suggested. “Again?”
“Yes,” Pel agreed.
They had some good habits formed for spending a lot of time together, and Pel definitely wanted to add intimate moments to the list. He straightened his clothing again, got distracted by one more kiss, and finally hurried out of the room.
There was no one in the hallway, thankfully, but he wondered how long it would be until someone noticed. Would the staff keep it to themselves? Or would it be spread about everywhere as soon as the first person figured it out?
But Pel baulked whenever he thought of his father finding out.
In theory, Pel catching the eye of the High Prince was a good thing—the very thing that Forex had asked Pel’s siblings to do, in fact.
But he hadn’t asked Pel, and that wasn’t an oversight.
He wouldn’t be able to imagine Tor bonding with Pel, and that meant that Pel had gotten in the way of Forex’s scheme.
It was a losing proposition all around. But Pel wasn’t ready to give Tor up, not before he had to.
Tor was the first person who’d taken the trouble to really see Pel, to actually get to know him.
He was irreverent and too smart for his own good and surprisingly kind and so handsome.
Pel couldn’t imagine finding someone else who possessed even a fraction of his attributes.
Pel had never met anyone like him, and Pel wanted him. For once in his life, he wasn’t going to do the smart thing. He was going to keep Tor for as long as Tor allowed it. He was going to enjoy himself, and he was going to build lots of memories for that inevitable time once Tor left.
They weren’t all about sex, either. Although those parts were fabulous, they were still spending as much time together during the day as they used to, visiting with the citizens, training with the guards, defense lessons with his sister, and lunch and dinner together—though dinner was with the whole family and was generally a trial.
If there was a little more smiling, well, that surely wasn’t that unusual. If there was a little more touching, especially when they weren’t being closely observed, that could simply be between friends.
They rode out to the farms and villages and checked in with everyone. The worst of the rain had finally ended, and all their inspections of the embankments and the reports from the guards and the citizens was that all was well on that front.
Some of the crops had been washed out, which had everyone worrying about the upcoming winter, but it was so much better than it would have been if Tor hadn’t used his magic to prevent the embankment from bursting.
Tor was still getting thanks for that, and he somehow managed to both accept the gratitude graciously and acknowledge everyone else who’d worked to set everything to rights or provide ongoing inspections.
When they’d first met, Pel would have assumed that was disingenuous, but now he could recognize it was simply how Tor was.
He would never know what it was like not to possess an abundance of magic, but he didn’t rub it in people’s faces.
He used it to help guards and Pel’s sister train and to save people from disaster.
He could be like King Forex and rarely leave the castle, use his magic for his own gain, and work at drinking himself into an early grave.
But no, Tor was out here with Pel, inspecting the embankment for further signs of failure, listening to grievances, and learning about what concerned the citizens of Tond.
Everyone expected Pel and Tor to show up together now. They could cover twice as much ground and get twice as much feedback if they went separately, but no one ever proposed that.
“It will be strange doing this on my own again,” Pel confessed one morning as they were heading back to the castle.
Tor shot him a look. “Planning to start fighting with me again?” Then he grimaced. “Sorry, that was unworthy.”
They’d fought because Tor had kissed Pel while drunk.
He’d made a comment about not doing it if he were sober, which Pel had taken to mean he wouldn’t have been interested if drink wasn’t clouding his judgment.
But since it turned out Tor had only meant he hadn’t asked or considered the possible ramifications, Pel wasn’t inclined to hold it against him anymore.
“I mean, I’m not planning to,” Pel teased, stretching out the word. “But have you met us? How long do you think we’ll possibly make it without another fight?”
Tor let out a surprised bark of laughter. “Fair enough. I like to think that we’re sorting things out as we go, though.”
That was Pel’s hope, too. After all, if he thought about how they’d snapped at one another on the road to the castle when Tor had first arrived in Tond… They’d made so much progress.
“We do seem to be better at communicating now,” Pel agreed. He tried to make his voice as matter-of-fact as possible. “But you can’t stay in Tond forever, right? I’ll have to go back to visiting like I’ve always done.”
His heart sank at the very idea, but that was him being foolish. Of course he’d be able to manage once Tor left. It obviously wouldn’t be as good as when Tor was here, but Pel had always known he wasn’t going to get to keep the man.
Tor was silent for a moment, and then he said, “I imagine even if you’re on your own, you’ll be as wonderful as always.”
It was weird to feel both uplifted and downcast at the same time. Pel would certainly do his best, but he had the feeling it would never be the experience it had been before he’d started visiting with Tor.
Pel tried to shake the mood off. He cast a look at the man riding beside him.
“I mean, there will be less ridiculousness without you. I imagine the visits will be practical and efficient.”
Tor sniffed. “Sounds boring.”
Goddess help him, it did.
Tor’s lips curled at one corner. “You could try to develop a sense of humor.”
Pel rolled his eyes. “I don’t think arrogant ass is a good look for me.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Tor drawled. “I happen to think your ass is quite spectacular.”
Pel could feel himself flush, but he said, “Thank you, but that’s not really the impression I’m trying to make on Tond’s citizens.”
Tor shrugged. “More for me.”
That… wasn’t how that worked, but Pel couldn’t help but smile.
The perfect bright moments made it possible to endure the scrutiny of his siblings without—he hoped—giving everything away.
They’d seen how everything had gone after the archery competition, when Pel and Tor weren’t talking to one another.
They’d seen the two of them getting along fine now, and Pel really tried to behave the same as always so that they wouldn’t see there was more going on.
Bavil and Tor still had discussions at the dinner table while King Forex drank.
Tor still turned the pages for Larexa when she played the pianoforte after drinks.
Pel didn’t let himself stare constantly at Tor—which, truthfully, had been a struggle even before they’d started…
whatever it was they’d started. A relationship, which still seemed unbelievable.
Part of Pel desperately wanted to claim Tor in front of everyone.
But once the news was out… he couldn’t control anything after that.
Even leaving aside his father, he could only guess how shocked everyone would be, how doubtful that Pel could really interest the High Prince.
And when Tor left? Could Pel handle all the pitying looks?
Or worse, everyone behaving as though that was the only logical outcome?
No, he’d just have to try not to smile so much or to catch Tor’s eye or to let their fingers brush together where anyone could see. He needed to be sensible about this.