Chapter 36
Raj stepped out of the office and stared at Helen. He heard her question and something inside of him tore open. He knew the solution he wanted. But how could he convince her?
“Marry me,” he blurted.
Helen’s startled gaze lifted from their daughter’s sleeping form. Raj tensed when her mouth opened.
“I’m sorry but…?”
Rubbing a hand over his face, Raj knew that he’d messed up. He should have done this over a romantic meal. He should have brought her flowers and a beautiful ring. He should have brought her back to Lativa and shown her everything he could offer.
“Why?” she demanded, standing up and coming towards him.
That wasn’t what he’d been expecting. Rational, logical Helen should have asked him what he could offer. Right?
“Why what?” he asked, stupidly wondering how to get her to agree. What could he give her to convince her to be a part of his life?
“Why do you want to marry me?” she asked. Helen glanced over her shoulder at the still sleeping child, then back to him. “I would never keep you from seeing Angela. We’ll share parenting responsibilities.” She bit her lip and looked away, crossing her arms over her chest. “You don’t have to marry me to keep Angela in your life. It will be difficult, but –”
She couldn’t finish because he kissed her. Raj’s kiss was hard and demanding, but when he felt her tremble, the pressure eased and he tried to be more convincing, more teasing. But the need to marry her, to have her in his world forever, was too intense. He wanted Helen. She was unlike any other woman he’d ever met. She wasn’t like Tasha or Tila either, but in some ways, Helen was exactly like his sisters-in-law.
When he lifted his mouth, they were both breathing heavily, but he wouldn’t let her look away. “Because of that,” he replied.
Slowly, Helen nodded. “That’s…a good reason.” She licked her lips, smiling up at him. “Any other reasons?”
He wanted to laugh, but he wasn’t exactly sure of her question. “I am a wealthy man. You’ll never want for–”
He couldn’t finish that claim because her fingers pressed against his mouth. “I earn an excellent salary, Raj. I don’t need a man’s wealth.” She placed a hand over his heart. “What can you offer me?” She moved closer, shifting her body against his. “I can offer you my heart. Are you willing to do the same? Because that’s pretty much all you have that I want.”
“It’s yours,” he replied, his voice gruff. Five years ago, he hadn’t understood what he was feeling. Now he knew. “I love you. I’ve loved you for years.”
Her gaze turned anxious and confused. “Then why did you leave me like that?”
Yes, that was a fair question. And it was one he should have answered years ago. Or even a few days ago! Hell, it should have been the first words out of his mouth.
“Because my brother needed help.” He took her hand and led her over to one of the chairs across the room so that their conversation wouldn’t wake up Angela. He squeezed her hand, needing to feel a connection with her during this discussion. “Five years ago, I met you and lost control. You were everything I wanted in a woman, but I didn’t realize it at the time. I wanted you five years ago, but then I realized how much help my brother needed.” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. “My oldest brother, Khal, was trying to do it all. My father died unexpectedly and after his passing, everything fell on Khal’s shoulders.” He looked out the window. “Joran and I continued on our merry lives, ignoring my brother.”
“What happened to him?”
“Don’t get me wrong. Khal stepped up and took over. He gained the people’s confidence and calmed everything down after the disaster of losing their leader. However, it was difficult. He was trying to do too much by himself.” He offered her a lopsided grin. “To be honest, I think I was pretty angry with Khal for not asking me for help. So, I might have been trying to prove to him that I could help in the only way that I knew how. I became obsessed with making money, finding the best investments possible. Then I met you and…well, I was thrown off course.” He lifted her fingers and kissed them. “You blew me away. You weren’t anything like the other women I’d known and, as soon as I realized what was happening, I needed to pull away. So, when Khal decided to allow Joran and I to help, I dropped everything, including you, to help him.”
She touched his cheek. “I understand now.”
“Can you ever forgive me?”
She laughed, leaning her forehead against his. “If you can forgive me for not contacting you.”
“You didn’t know who I was.”
“Yeah, but I could have tried harder. I was so hurt when you ghosted me.”
“I didn’t ghost you. I sent you a text message.”
“I remember. It was brief and to the point. All it said was that you had a family emergency.” She chuckled. “I had one too. I was hurt that you’d abandoned me. Then I couldn’t get in touch with you again.”
“I had to switch to a different phone. One that was more secure.” He sounded astonished that he hadn’t realized that.
“That would do it,” she said with a sigh. “But really, Raj. I could have tried harder. I was too overwhelmed and trying to manage the pregnancy hormones. I was trying to work as hard as I could in my job because as soon as my pregnancy became known, the men in my office would downgrade me to an assistant instead of an investment manager.” She leaned back, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Let’s just agree that both of us could have tried harder.”
“I can get on board with that.” He glanced over to Angela, who was still sleeping. When he looked back to Helen, the humor was gone. “I sincerely want to marry you, Helen.”
She glanced again at Angela. “Because of her?”
“No,” he replied sharply, bringing her gaze to him. “Because you make me feel…excited to start the day. Because you were gone for a few hours this afternoon and I felt as if something was missing.” He kissed her fingers again. “Because you excite me intellectually, physically, and scare the hell out of me emotionally.”
Helen leaned forward and kissed him softly. “Those are pretty good reasons.”
“Is that a yes?” he asked, his voice lowering, growing husky.
She tilted her head slightly. Then grinned. “That’s a yes.”