Chapter 46
AIMILIA
Aimilia didn’t care if Nikias got lost or not. She needed to get away from him before he asked her too many questions she couldn’t answer. She went straight to her room and dug out her mourning clothes before heading to the bathhouse to wash the dirt and dust of the road off herself.
She passed by a few of her cousins on her way, them bowing and murmuring, “Commander,” as she went.
It was the first time Aimilia had been home since becoming a commander.
Thankfully the women’s bathhouse was fairly empty, only one girl inside when Aimilia arrived, and she left as Aimilia stepped into the water.
Soon enough the hot water had her muscles relaxing and the tension fading as she cleaned herself.
She left the bathhouse, dressed in black, but no commander’s cloak since she didn’t have one in black. She’d have to go see if there was an extra one in her father’s old things. He had to have one she could use.
The thought had her coming to a dead stop in the hallway as it struck her all over again.
It had been so long since his funeral, and now she was back again.
The air was cold and she could almost see herself running down this hallway as a girl, before the Academy, trying to catch up to her grandfather.
She remembered holding onto her father’s hand, walking down the hallway, her little voice filling the air as she chattered away just days before her father left for what would be his final mission.
She didn’t know how long she stood there, completely still in the hallway, until the sound of someone saying her name jolted her out of it.
She turned to see Lieutenant Turpis hurrying toward her, dressed in black as well. Right.
Of course he and Commander Prisca would be here for the funeral.
Had she ever replied to his latest letter?
“Aimilia, there you are! I’ve been looking for you since the second I heard you arrived this afternoon.” But he didn’t just stop in front of her. He grabbed her and pulled her into an embrace. Aimilia gasped as his arms squeezed the air out of her and caused her to choke. “I’m so sorry.”
Aimilia hit her palm against his back until he loosened his grip enough for her to pull back and wheeze. “It’s always funny how people apologize for something they didn’t even do. It’s not like anyone saying sorry killed him or could have prevented his death.”
Cyprian had snapped at her when she’d said that at her father’s funeral as well.
“You’re not very good at letting people comfort you, are you?” Turpis asked, hands sliding to her biceps.
“Depends on who is offering. Do you think we’re friends?” Aimilia gave him a weak smile. “I’m not certain I trust you. You could be plotting your revenge on me from our tournament.”
“And what would that gain me?” Turpis laughed. “You’ve proven yourself the superior mage. Maybe I just want to stay on your good side so it doesn’t happen again. Not to mention the fact that you’re a national hero. We all heard about what you did during the attack at the entrance exams.”
It felt like it had been years since that day given everything that had occurred afterwards, and with Turpis’ hands still on her, all she could think about was the way Nikias had wrapped himself around her and held her so fiercely and yet so delicately that day.
She stepped back, out of his grip. “Fine, maybe I’ll believe you’re not secretly plotting my demise.”
“Good, if you want more proof, go ahead and ask around.” Turpis gestured to the estate around them. “Anyone will be able to tell you I’m placing all my bets on you as the next Head of House Mitis.”
“Trying to financially profit off my success?” Aimilia rolled her eyes. “That might be the least surprising thing you’ve done as of late.”
Turpis stepped back and winked. “Who said the bet was financial?”
Aimilia blanched. He didn’t mean—
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Commander.”
Aimilia leaned against the wall as he disappeared.
Huh.
She never would have imagined making Turpis eat dirt in their tournament would lead to him having feelings for her. He certainly wasn’t bad looking, and being a lieutenant was respectable in its own right. Not everyone could be a commander.
If she became Head of House Mitis, she would need to marry for the sake of her position and continuing on the main line.
Turpis wouldn’t be a bad choice. House Feris was strong and respectable.
Turpis had been one of her classmates, so she knew him quite well, which worked in his favor as well as against him.
She hadn’t thought highly of him before, but ever since the tournament, he seemed to have changed.
Most importantly, she’d earned his respect and attention with her skill. Turpis had always been a flirt but he’d never paid serious attention to any girl in their class before, not until now.
It meant Aimilia was his first and only choice.
Aimilia didn’t really know what to do with that information.
When morning came, Aimilia just stared at the window, dawn breaking the horizon.
Her childhood room didn’t feel like hers anymore. It hadn’t been hers in so long, but there she was, curled up in the blankets, trying to work up the courage to face the day.
The funeral couldn’t be put off any longer.
Aimilia buried her head in her pillow briefly, letting a few tears roll down from her eyes.
She didn’t want to do this. She wanted to get back on a horse and ride for hours and hours until she could pretend her grandfather was still at the estate, resting in his bed and managing their family from there and that she’d get to see him soon instead of not at all.
But before Aimilia could work up the courage to either face the day or run away, her door opened and her mother swept inside, two maids behind her, saying, “Aimilia, you must get up and prepare for the funeral procession. You cannot hide away in here.”
Aimilia scoffed as she lifted her head, biting back the comment at the tip of her tongue that only one of them was known for hiding from funerals. “I was just about to get up.”
Her mother began fussing with the outfit Aimilia had laid out the night before. “Good. I also trust that there won’t be any outbursts this time.”
Aimilia threw the blanket off her and gave her mother a sharp grin. “Oh, that’s unfortunate. Since you missed the last one, I was planning on making it up to you.”
Mother turned away from the peplos and cloak and gave Aimilia a stern look. “This is not the day to attempt to be witty. You have gotten away with far too much while your grandfather was ill and you had his favor, but if you don’t behave appropriately, you will reap the consequences.”
“You and I have different definitions of appropriate.” Aimilia sat down in front of the vanity and the maid began working on Aimilia’s hair. Her mother came up behind her, watching through the glass.
“Let me be clear, here is what is going to happen today. The second we step foot outside this house, you keep your mouth closed. You will be somber and graceful, and should either Queen Clelia or Prince Nikias speak to you, you will thank them for their kindness and that is all. You will draw no undue attention to yourself, especially from Queen Clelia. Then, once the ceremony is over, you’ll tell Prince Nikias how grateful you are for his patience and that you’re renouncing your right to compete to prove yourself to him and should he still want you, you would be beyond honored to be his wife. ”
Aimilia shot up from the vanity, sending the maid scrambling away with a yelp as pins clattered to the floor.
She whipped around to face her mother. “I am not doing this again. Let me be clear, under no circumstances will I be renouncing my right to compete, and there is no world in which I ever tell Nikias I want to be his wife.”
The words were ash on her tongue, but at this point saying them was more a habit than anything else. She needed time to think, but first she had to bury her grandfather. Then she could begin to figure out what was going on with her and Nikias, and if that even mattered.
If she did love him… would she marry him?
Mother snapped, “Do you think the next head of House Mitis will let your little rebellious tantrum slide?”
As far as everyone else was concerned, nothing had changed.
Aimilia raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. “Do you think I’m going to forget everything you’ve said and done when I’m the head of House Mitis?”
If she lost, she didn’t just lose House Mitis. She was going to have to answer to Cyprian for her constant defiance. If Aimilia didn’t win, Cyprian would.
If she wanted to stay in good standing with House Mitis, she’d be forced to grovel to Nikias and plead with him that he would still take her. If she didn’t, staying in Imperia would no longer be an option.
If she told Nikias she would marry him, there was no doubt in her mind he would still take her.
But would that really be so bad?
Her mother laughed, a breathy sound, disbelief filling the air. “Why do you want to be Head of House Mitis when you could be Queen of Imperia?”
Aimilia couldn’t help her voice cracking. “Why bother trying to explain when you won’t listen?”
All they did was talk at her, and if Aimilia couldn’t understand her own feelings or decide if they even changed anything, her mother never would.
“Because you don’t want what’s best for this house! Mitis doesn’t need you to lead it.” Mother took a step toward her, but she had long since stopped being an intimidating figure to Aimilia. “You just want to use Mitis so no one can stand in the way of you doing what you want.”
Fine. If that was the way this was going to go…
“Hmm, maybe I was wrong.” Aimilia let her bitter sarcastic bite seep into each word. Her grin was absolutely vicious as she said, “You do get it.”
Her mother shook her head and turned to the maid. “Ensure she’s ready for the funeral.” Then she turned back to Aimilia and said, “It’s a good thing your father isn’t around to see just how selfish you turned out to be.”
Aimilia’s mouth opened, but her mother had already shut the door behind her, leaving Aimilia and the terrified Solitus maid behind.
Aimilia sank back into the seat and the maid was silent, hands shaking as she kept trying to do Aimilia’s hair.
Was she right?
Gavril and Marcella couldn’t have children.
Which meant Nikias had to get married and have an heir.
But he’d taken a glass to the face rather than entertain the idea of marrying anyone else.
Why?
“Isn’t it obvious?”
Aimilia stared at her own pale, hollow expression.
She brushed the pad of her thumb over her lips. The phantom feeling of his arms around her haunted her.
Nikias wasn’t capable of loving anyone but Faustina… right?