Chapter 56
NIKIAS
Nikias didn’t see Aimilia again until Eleni’s funeral.
He didn’t know how things had gone so bad, so fast.
Somehow he was worse off now than when he’d even started months ago. At least when Aimilia had been trying to avoid him it had been different. She looked at him with annoyance and frustration.
Now?
Aimilia looked at him like he’d let her down. The worst part about it was Nikias couldn’t figure out how to get out of it. How could he make her understand it wasn’t as simple as just standing up for her to his mother?
It was easier to let her say what she wanted to say and then work behind her back.
There was no standing up to her. She always won.
What would accusing her of sabotaging Aimilia’s tower accomplish?
All it would do was tell her she needed to be subtler. It wouldn’t stop her.
Nikias would just have to find a way to keep Aimilia safe regardless, and it would only be harder if his mother knew he was onto her.
Nikias donned the black mourning clothes again. He hated them. He couldn’t stand the sight of himself in them anymore, but there was no getting around it. It was required, but at least the trials brought a reprieve. The sooner Nikias never donned black again, the better.
He stood in the courtyard beside his mother.
He’d spun her a story about sending some Runai to the surrounding villages to try and catch these alleged stone mages.
Although they weren’t publicly claiming Aimilia’s tower falling had been Stonai, that was the current pervasive rumor.
Even if there were some mages who might suspect someone else, they were smart enough not to whisper about it.
Accusing Queen Clelia wouldn’t end well for anyone, not even her son.
Did Aimilia want him to have even more bruises to hide? Did she even care anymore about the consequences there would be if he accused her?
He wasn’t just hiding bruises under illusions, but also the bags under his eyes.
He was doing his best not to yawn in front of all of the Runai assembled.
He hadn’t slept in days. His nightmares hounded him again and again.
Every time he got close to rest, they woke him up with a scream.
If it wasn’t past fights with Faustina or her death, it was past fights with Aimilia and her death, her taking Faustina’s place in his arms and choosing death over him.
Was Nikias trapped in an endless cycle?
Each trial brought her closer to it. Would she really rather die trying to prove something than marry him? Had he been right? She hadn’t really wanted to kiss him. She didn’t really want him—or rather, she didn’t feel any affection for him. She didn’t love him.
But then again, she’d kept the necklace. She hadn’t said she wouldn’t marry him when he gave it to her. That still meant something.
Nikias was ready to claw himself out of his skin, if only to get a good night’s rest.
She didn’t want to see him, but why? What had changed after the night he held her? What was going on in her head?
Every time he came to her, she ran away or pushed him away. Months of progress were slipping through his fingers.
Aimilia was slipping through his fingers.
He was going to lose her.
He couldn’t lose her. He was so close. There had to be a way to save this. There had to be a way to make her love him. She had to love him.
What else had it all been for?
Nikias couldn’t endure this torment any longer. He could no longer be resigned to loving her in silence. But she wouldn’t let him do anything. Even if she would, he didn’t know what to do.
The commanders came out again, and this time, Cyprian didn’t fight Aimilia about bearing the casket. Aimilia didn’t look at Nikias once as they set off.
He tried to catch her gaze, but she stayed at the front with Cyprian bearing the casket. Nikias spotted Ovidius, his eyes red-rimmed, looking as gaunt as Nikias was beneath his illusion.
A pang ripped through Nikias’ heart. He knew exactly what the poor man was feeling.
He looked over at his mother, who was completely stone-faced and impassive. Nikias had learned well from her. His mother didn’t even seem to care that a completely innocent woman was dead because of her.
Nikias didn’t doubt Aimilia’s words, although he had no idea how she had come across that information.
How could she have found out about it when Nikias had been completely ignorant?
He had no idea. But he’d have to figure it out later.
Nikias had intercepted another messenger from Areator the day before. Any day now, it wouldn’t be a message begging them to return. It would be one saying they’re too late.
Good.
Nikias looked forward to it.
As much as Nikias tried to focus on the funeral, there was too much swirling about his head.
He’d sent out his fake scouts, but he’d gotten a very real message from Konstantin, informing him that they’d gotten more information out of the stone mage.
They didn’t have time to wait for a reply from Nikias, much less any support.
The clan mages needed to mobilize their troops now if they wanted to stand a chance at cutting the Stonai off.
So even though the stone mages had nothing to do with Aimilia’s tower falling, they were still a problem Nikias had to deal with. Konstantin was asking for him to send support as soon as he could.
But Nikias wasn’t going to be able to mobilize anyone while he was there, dealing with funeral after funeral and watching the woman he loved nearly get killed trying to prove something she didn’t need to prove when she could just marry him.
Why wouldn’t she marry him?
Nikias’ thoughts spun around and around, never finding an answer as the commanders buried Eleni. Nikias watched Ovidius, and it was strange to be a spectator when once he’d been by the casket. It was clear how much the man loved her.
Nikias had a vague recollection of him. He was from House Gelu.
A relative of Faustina’s. He was doing his best not to cry, but it was obvious when he failed.
It seemed he had a few of his relatives there as well.
Their features were all familiar to Nikias.
He hadn’t interacted much with House Gelu since Faustina’s death, but beforehand, he’d been quite close with them.
Nikias supposed he should probably talk to Ovidius, but all Nikias really wanted was to talk to Aimilia. He knew she and Eleni weren’t close. But still, she’d been at her side after the fight.
His heart twisted. She’d been at Eleni’s side, trying to save her, but when she’d woken up, her first thought had been for Nikias.
How could it not mean something? How could that not be evidence that she loved him? Why couldn’t she just set aside her pride and admit it?
Was it really so terrible to her to love him?
Or was there something else?
Nikias wasn’t sure. But when Eleni was buried, he watched as Aimilia pulled away from the casket. He stepped forward, ready to take his place at her side like he had last time, but his mother’s hand shot out and grabbed his arm.
Aimilia turned in the other direction and she joined her mother and Cyprian off to the side, and within a matter of seconds, Lieutenant Turpis had joined them. Nikias’ blood began boiling and it only doubled when Turpis put his arm around Aimilia’s shoulders and moved his hand up and down.
Nikias was going to kill him. Actually, death seemed a little merciful.
Nikias didn’t care what it took, but the brat was going to pay. But the worst part of it all?
Aimilia didn’t shrug him off. She just stared blankly at the casket.
Why wasn’t she pushing him away? Why was she letting him take Nikias’ spot? What was she doing? What was going on there?
He knew what Turpis wanted, but why was Aimilia allowing it?
Aimilia was smarter than that. She had to know he was only after her to improve his position. It couldn’t be anything more than that. They’d only been at the estate for a few weeks. How could that compete with the months Nikias had had with her beforehand?
Although, they had been the classmates once. Nikias just stared across the way, hoping with each second that would be the one Aimilia would break out of her trance and push Turpis off of her.
She never did.
The reception wasn’t much better.
No matter how close Nikias seemed to get to Aimilia, she always was gone before he got there.
Had she always been this good at slipping away from him?
Each time her red hair vanished from his view, his heart jolted and raced faster. He didn’t understand. Was this really simply because of Turpis’ presence?
Was that all it took?
Nikias lost track of her, but he did spy Ovidius and he supposed he ought to say something.
Nikias cleared his throat, and Ovidius looked up from his wine glass that was still completely full. He murmured, “Your Highness.”
Nikias said, “I’m sure you’re sick of hearing it, but I’d like to offer my condolences.”
Ovidius said, “I appreciate it, especially from you, Your Highness.”
Nikias said, “I know it may not mean much to you now, but I’ve had those handlers fired. They should never have let that cerberus anywhere near the competitors.”
Ovidius shook his head. “She knew the risk. But… there was something off about it. We should have been able to save her.”
The man was right, but Nikias couldn’t let this spiral. “Some wounds are too great, even for our greatest healers. Not everyone can be saved.”
Ovidius dropped his head, wincing. “Right. My apologies, Your Highness.”
“It’s been a long time. You don’t have to fear referencing it. I’m one of the only people here who understands what you’re going through.”
“I appreciate that. I can’t imagine it ever getting easier. She was my wife. How can I continue on without her?” There was a moment of silence. Finally, Ovidius looked up at Nikias and whispered, “How do you do it?”
It certainly wasn’t easy…
“You find something else to live for.”
“How?”
Now that Nikias didn’t have a good answer to.