6. WHEN GUILT DWELLS, IT SPEAKS.
Chapter six
WHEN GUILT DWELLS, IT SPEAKS.
Princess Emeriel was speechless, and it showed.
Every part of her arms was taken, held by Urekai hands, yet none of them made any move to harm her.
Two years ago, they placed bets on who would be quick enough to kill her. Now, their touch was gentle, as if she were made of delicate glass they feared might shatter beneath their fingers.
These proud beings, who held themselves superior to humans and all other species, were now begging her, imploring her for help . Casting aside their hatred for humans.
Tension bled from Emeriel, replaced by something far more unsettling. Fear .
For the first time in a long, long while, it crawled up her spine, chilling her blood. How gravely ill was her Beloved?
No, no, no. Don’t do that. He’s no longer your Beloved. He was never yours. Think of him only as their grand king.
The bond hadn’t gone dormant, waiting to be triggered. It had weakened. Fading.
Dying.
"Out of the way, everyone," Lord Ottai's commanding voice cut through the crowd.
Wegai appeared at Emeriel's side as the crowd parted. "We will escort both of you inside."
Wegai led Emeriel, while Yaz guided Aekeira.
Inside, they stopped at the intersection of passageways. "Your old rooms in Blackstone have been prepared for you, Aekeira. But I’ll have a room made ready for you, Emeriel, in Frostfall, near the grand king’s chambers," Lord Ottai said. "Rest assured, no harm will come to either of you within these walls. I’ve assigned my most trusted soldiers to keep watch. It’s been a long journey for all of us. We will rest tonight. Tomorrow is a new day."
***
At midnight, while the rest of Ravenshadow slept, Emeriel stood alone in the corridor outside her chambers, staring into the darkness, letting the silence wrap around her.
How sick was he?
Emeriel hated how much it bothered her. She had worked so hard to rid herself of feelings like this. Submerged them deep until she was numb to them.
But now, here they were, creeping back to the frontline like traitors in the night, robbing her of sleep.
She was back in this accursed place. The source of so much pain… and yet it still felt like home.
Her shoulders lifted in a deep breath, then fell. What could she even do for him? What if she could not help him?
The night crawled by. She stayed until her legs arched. What would tomorrow bring?
Eventually, when her legs could no longer bear the weight of her thoughts, she turned back into her room. Lying on the bed, she stared blankly at the ceiling.
"My heat suppressants!" Emeriel sprang from the bed. The realization hitting her with the force of a loaded carriage, cold sweat breaking across her skin.
How could she have forgotten to pack the most important thing? What if she went into heat?
Her throat seized, and panic came.
She did not want to go through that, not here, not now. If she could help it, not ever again.
What if the grand king triggered her heat?
Dread settled like rocks in her chest.
Emeriel gripped the sheets, forcing herself to stay calm. To breathe.
It’s alright. You never missed a dose in two years. Surely one or two missed doses will not hurt, right?
Besides, he cannot trigger your heat from a deathbed, and once he recovers, you will leave Navia with the speed of thunder.
You will be fine.
You will be fine.
She repeated it to herself, over and over again. Slowly, her pulse steadied. Wiping her sweaty brow, she lay back down. You will be fine.
The passage of time went unnoticed as her mind drifted far, far away.
Only as the first light of dawn edged through the window did her eyes finally close.
***
IN THE SPIRIT REALM: THE DEAD OCEANS
The river was peaceful. Tranquil.
Grand King Daemonikai sat cross-legged on the sandy shore, surrounded by the soft murmur of water and the breath of life.
This place was quickly becoming one of his favorites. Peaceful. Translucent.
"Oh, if it isn’t my bondmate, running from reality."
He turned his head, and there she was.
Evie. His beautiful bondmate, her smile as warm as ever.
"Mate." He wrapped his arms around her waist when she got closer, pulling her close.
Evie chuckled softly, easing onto his lap. He widened his thighs to make room for her, his arms wrapped closely around her midriff.
"This place is so peaceful, dearest beloved," he murmured.
"You know I’m not that anymore, my love," she said kindly, her smile firmly in place. "I’m dead."
“Do not say that. No one is dead. Not here, not anywhere. We are both here, together."
"But this place isn’t your reality." Her tone was soft, patient. "Your spirit is wandering, beloved, and it’s killing you."
"I can touch you, I can feel you." He buried his face into her hair. "That’s enough for me."
But something was wrong. Her scent was… different.
He breathed in again, trying to capture the familiar comfort. But it wasn’t there.
Wrong, his instincts whispered.
"Your scent has changed." Daemonikai pulled back slightly to look at her. "It’s different."
"It’s the same as always, love. You are the one that’s changed.” Evie pressed her forehead to his lips, and he kissed it. "You want a different scent now. You crave it ."
True. "Don’t say things like that.” Daemonikai pulled back again, frowning. “It’s ridiculous."
"Guilt is a cruel companion, beloved. It taints even the most beautiful things."
"Explain to me, dearest."
"When guilt dwells, it speaks."
She confused him further. "What does that mean?"
But Evie only smiled at him. That bright, unchanging smile he’d known for millennia.
Daemonikai sighed and let it go.
He didn’t want to fight. He didn’t want to think too hard. He just wanted to stay here, in this sanctuary.
Here, where the world outside could not reach him.
Here, where she was still with him…alive in his arms.
This place, where his need for another does not haunt him.
***
Grand Lord Ottai stood by the door, staring at Daemonikai’s unmoving body sprawled across the bed. The grand king looked almost lifeless, his pallor stark against the dark sheets.
The only sign of life was the faint, barely perceptible rise and fall of his chest. So subtle that one would have to get close to see it.
His breathing had slowed even more over the past few weeks, each breath coming longer between the last. Shallower than what was normal for any living being.
The Urekai guard on duty offered a respectful greeting, while Livia, who had been tending to Daemonikai with cold compresses to regulate his burning fever, rose and bowed deeply.
"How is he?" Ottai asked, moving further into the room.
"Still refusing food, Your Highness. No sign of waking in the past four days," the head maid replied.
The longest stretch yet.
A week without sustenance, and four days without opening his eyes. Typically, he would awaken every other day, staying conscious for a brief thirty minutes before slipping back into unconsciousness.
Now, his slumber grew longer. Deeper.
"His temperature?" Ottai asked, his eyes briefly scanning the untouched feast.
"I've kept it regulated as best I can, but it's barely holding." Livia looked at the grand king’s feverish face. "He’s heating up faster."
Ottai gave a small nod. "Thank you, Livia. You are one of the few humans I can trust with him. You’ve done well."
"It’s an honor, My Lord.” She hesitated. “Was your trip successful?"
"Yes." Lord Ottai's lips curved into a faint smile. "They are back in Urai."
The older woman beamed. "That's a relief."
"It is. You have been here all day. Go and get some rest, Livia."
She summoned the maids, who swiftly packed away the untouched platters of food. With an incline of their heads, Livia and the guard departed with them.
Ottai took a seat beside Daemonikai in the stifling quiet.
"I know wherever you have retreated must be far more appealing than reality, Daemon. Perhaps that’s why I cannot judge you too harshly," Ottai said, his eyes on the still form. "But this place you have hidden yourself in—it’s not real." He sighed.
"The eclipse moon night is nearly upon us. We cannot do this without you. Your people need you. I need you." A tight knot formed in his chest. "Please, come back before you are lost to us forever."
Ottai hoped against hope that something—anything—would stir in the grand king.
But there was no response.
No change.
Nothing.
***
Emeriel is back.
Mistress Sinai stormed down the hall, her shoulders trembling with the force of her fury.
Why was Ukrae suddenly determined to make her life a living hell?
Why were the fates conspiring against her, snatching away her hard-won peace?
What had she done to deserve this torment?
Emeriel dared to return!
Two years of peace shattered by a mere fly she could swat away. One she should have squashed years ago.
Sinai rounded a corner, and there she was.
The mistress gasped, coming to an abrupt stop. Had she not been looking so fervently, she might have passed without realizing the "lady" before her was Emeriel.
The transformation was staggering. So much so it left Sinai’s jaw on the floor.
Gone were the rough male slave uniforms. In their place was an elaborately designed gown, adorned with intricate stones and diamonds that shimmered with every movement.
Her hair, once pulled into a tight bun, now cascaded down her back like a black waterfall, decorated with glittering stones and delicate lace that caught the light. Stunning. Commanding.
This was a far cry from the meek, little male slave always trying to blend into the background. This Emeriel commanded attention.
Her presence radiated an aura of power and authority. Confidence.
She walked with her shoulders high, her head held even higher, as if she owned the very fortress itself. Behind her, Wegai stood in his brooding, protective glory, along with two other soldiers.
Sinai. Hated. Her. So. Much.
Emeriel's steps faltered when she saw Sinai, and that, at least, brought satisfaction to the mistress. Yes, little bunny, be afraid. You have every reason to be.
But Emeriel showed no fear.
Her face remained indifferent as she resumed her pace, heading straight toward Sinai.
"Look what the cat dragged back in," Sinai sneered. "It’s the filthy slave. The lying, deceitful slave. How dare you show your face here again? It’s a wonder no one has put two claws through your eyes by now."
Emeriel stopped beside her. Slowly, she turned her head to the side, meeting Sinai’s gaze with a cold, condescending look.
Her eyes flicked over Sinai from head to toe, dismissing her as though she were nothing more than a bothersome fly not even worth swatting, and continued on her way.
No words were said.
No acknowledgment.
Nothing.
Emeriel merely eyed her and kept walking.
What the hell?
The mistress scoffed, stunned. Did Emeriel just… dismiss me?
She had.
Emeriel had looked at her, looked through her, and decided Sinai was not worth her time .
And it enraged Sinai to the core.
She lunged, grabbed a fistful of Emeriel's hair, and yanked . Fulfillment flooding her when she heard the woman yelp in surprise. Finally, a reaction.
But before she could savor the moment, Wegai stepped in, gripping Sinai’s wrist firmly.
"How dare you walk away while I’m speaking to you!?" Sinai shrieked in rage as Wegai carefully disentangled Emeriel’s hair from her fingers. "You dare to dismiss me!?"
Emeriel smoothed her hair, composed. Her expression remained infuriatingly calm.
Sinai seethed. Where did this newfound poise come from? Where was the fear? Where was the cowering?
Had this girl spent so much time with Daemonikai that she’d adopted this annoying, imperturbable behavior of his?
Her fury burned hotter. "You think because you're no longer a slave you have the right to waltz around here dressed like that ? You are no better than the rats that scamper in the sewers! How dare you come back here?"
Wegai moved, but Emeriel signaled him not to, stepping closer… into Sinai's personal space, and met Sinai's gaze with cool detachment.
"You have not changed, mistress. You are still the same loud, and annoying woman who sticks herself where she has no right to be," Emeriel said.
Sinai’s nostrils flared. What did she just say to me? "What did you just say to me!?"
"I don’t answer to you. Not now, not ever," Emeriel continued in a steady, completely unbothered tone. "And I would appreciate it if you kept your hands off me."
"Have you LOST YOUR MIND!?" Sinai screamed.
"Always the noisemaker," Emeriel merely said. "You stay out of my way, and I’ll stay out of yours. Keep your hands off me, mistress. I’m not here for drama."
Sinai was too dumbfounded to speak.
Emeriel squared her shoulders, staring Sinai down. "I hope we do not run into each other in the future, Mistress." Then she whirled around and walked away.