16. He wants me to be his what?!
Nevaeh
B efore Hazel can throw open the back gate where brainless bimbos with horrible skin and a bunch of dumb warlocks are marching toward us, Angel blocks my path, looking uncharacteristically nervous.
“Do you trust me?”
Hazel silently backs away until she is out of sight. I’m sure she’ll hiss about our lovey-dovey moment ruining her plans to gut some Deviants the first chance she gets.
The last time Angel asked me this, I didn’t have to think before saying no, but now, the circumstances are different. I am different, and so is our bond.
He has given me things I didn’t think were in my cards. A roof over my head, friends who have my back, and comfort I didn’t know I was worth.
So, there’s only one correct answer.
“I think I do.”
Shrugging lamely, I force my eyes to track the patterns on the tile below me, not wanting to witness his disappointment, but all I get is silence.
When I hesitantly peak at Anxo, he has an excited smile he can barely suppress. Those dimples on display once again prove that I need to stop expecting the worst from people... from Anxo.
When Angel pushes the door open, he has more spring in his step than one should before facing Deviants.
Conjuring his bow out of thin air Angel stays a step ahead of Hazel and me and in the line of target.
I can’t get over how envious I am about him magically summoning a weapon and not having to carry it on him at all times.
Because Seiji is not a Horseman yet, he has to disguise his whips as a jeweled belt looped over his waist, but anything is better than not having a signature weapon at all.
I can’t wait to summon the scythe and raise hell one day.
I know Hazel and Grace also carry weapons on them. Grace because her Divine is no help in such situations, and Hazel because that deranged woman loves getting her hands dirty. Even when she can melt someone’s brain with a whistle.
My kind of woman .
I like getting in the face of my enemies, watching the light leave their eyes as I slowly strip them of their souls. It’s strangely satisfying.
Creating a barrier in my head around my Divine, I call out to it. Using my essence in a limited capacity, I carve my path through the hoard of rabid Deviants by burning every soul I come in contact with to ashes.
I just hope I’ll forget these screeching wails by the end of the night.
Deviants can’t hold or conjure a weapon, but that doesn’t make them harmless. Every touch from a cursed soul makes your insides shudder with dark magic.
When a melting hand lands on my shoulder, I thank the countless nights of torture that made my body used to this uncomfortable burn.
Grabbing the deviant by his throat, I squeeze until his head rolls off the decaying body. With my hands covered in melting flesh and goo, I regret not asking Hazel for a dagger.
A deviant drops to my feet with a deep gash on his neck, distracting me from fighting my share. I was worried their numbers would overpower us, but Anxo is dropping Deviants like flies.
He is fast and elegant. His movements are so effortless one would think he’s taking a lazy stroll in a park .
A wicked laugh from behind me breaks my trance, reminding me I’m not here to cheer on Angel but rather to put some of my anger and frustration to end.
“Ah, there’s my favorite prisoner!” The bigger tool steps forward with his mini tools, i.e., Deviants waiting for their master to say go fetch .
I should’ve known it was him.
This particular warlock loves a good villain monologue, and of course he wants one in the middle of us tearing apart his brainless soldiers.
The world believes that Visha is the most powerful witch to ever exist and her coven the strongest, but I know how rotten her ranks are on the inside.
Other than a few dozen dark magic wielders, Visha heavily relies on Deviants and her elite warriors to walk through hell to keep her hands clean and image cleaner.
To entertain and keep peace with other covens, Visha used to invite magic bearers from all around the world to come to use her prisoners as stress relievers. And David here was a frequent visitor.
“Not you again,” throwing my head back, I groan loudly.
“Thought you could get away that easily, huh? Afraid I will drag you back?” He gloats about his strength and power, but I can’t help but snort at the assumption.
I legit ugly snort, and the sound resonates in the dead of night. On the other side of the empty lot, Anxo loudly laughs in between stabbing warriors with the pointy part of his bows.
David is five feet tall with a six-month pregnant-looking belly sticking out, and I'm supposed to be afraid of him . Now that I think about it, I think his anger might stem from the time I stabbed his cousin down there .
Good old days.
“Honestly, dickvid? You should—”
“It's David!” Dickvid exclaims furiously.
This guy should try yoga. I’ve heard it’s good for anger management .
“Yeah yeah, same thing… Hey, how’s the wife anyway? Left you for that ugly face yet?”
I don’t understand how they have women staying with them. I don’t see one good thing, not externally and definitely not internally.
“You will never make it out of this alive! The dark queen will find you and drag you back. And when she does, your kind will…” Dickvid is red in the face, sneering at me as he continues his oh-so-evil monologue.
It’s not just me, even his warriors look bored.
“Sorry dickvid, but I don’t speak stupid. Didn’t go to school... you know, with your people kidnapping me and whatnot?”
And that snaps his restraint. Roaring like a pig suffering from constipation, he charges at me along with his minions.
Flicking his wrists, David rains sharp thorns on me from the bushes behind him which I barely avoid by bending at the last second. Except the one that tears the sleeve of my pretty dress.
Okay, now I’m mad.
Surrounded by Deviants and warlocks after months of safety is not as adventurous as I thought it would be. Being around them brings all kinds of tidbits from my past that I struggle to hide every day.
I feel a pinch in my chest when my Divine pushes against the blockade that keeps it in check. The danger circling me makes my Divine crawl to the front and demand I release my leash over it.
Unlike the rest of the mythical population, I’m unlucky enough to have an overactive Divine with its own sense and demands. If my grip over my essence slips, it won’t be Nevaeh defending herself anymore but my Divine aching for revenge.
I barely manage to hold myself back when I have complete control over my Divine. I can’t even imagine what would happen if I let my powers run wild when I’m not the one holding the reins .
I can’t reach my potential without ripping myself apart, so I do the one thing I can. I lock my Divine into the back of my mind and decide to depend on my skills.
In between crushing skulls with my bare hands and actively pushing my Divine back, I lose sight of the people I came with until Hazel shouts from behind me.
“Nevaeh, watch your six!”
My what?
A powerful kick to my back forces me to widen my stance to stop from stumbling to the ground face-first.
Before the warlock gets the opportunity, I turn on my feet and swiftly kick his stomach. Forcing him on his knees, I twist his neck, ending his miserable life for good.
“More coming from the south. Seiji is rounding everyone here, so stay on my three, sweetheart.”
Why are they suddenly talking in numbers and time? I don’t remember numbers and codes coming up in our planning sessions.
I’m going to regret spacing out in meetings, aren’t I?
I’ve never been this disoriented in a fight before. The constant attacks are exhausting, coupled with the horrible stench clouding my brain. Not to forget the sudden change in strategy that's starting to make me dizzy.
“Stop screaming numbers at me. I’m not understanding shit, Angel!”
“They’re directions baby, not numbers—you know what, we’ll discuss that later,” he shouts from my far left.
Did he forget I can hear him just fine without him screaming? The loud voices and constant screams are too much. I can’t stand this for another second.
How is it possible that after a decade with these monsters, I somehow forgot the chaos and anxiety it brings me to be around them?
The first sign of safety, and I get so wrapped up in the comfort that I can't access my fight response. I'm acting like a teenager learning the ropes of combat again .
Grabbing the warlock creeping up behind me by his neck, I throw him to the ground and stomp on his skull repeatedly to release my anger until I hear bones crunching beneath me. I feel better for less than three seconds before a chilling pain in my spine blinds me, and I drop to my knees.
Abruptly grabbing the ankle of my attacker—a warlock too busy reciting spells and enjoying how he brought me to my knees—I pull with all my strength.
Falling backward, he hits his head on the concrete, effectively knocking himself out.
When a warlock sprints to me, I shake myself out of the deep-seated unease crawling up my bones and pull myself up just in time to dodge the kick.
Grabbing his ankle when it’s right next to my face, I twist it at an unnatural angle. The warlock slumps forward in pain, his head touching my shoulder, his pained screech echoing in my ear.
Cupping his head, I twist, and his body falls with a thud among the dozens lying around me.
“There’s too many!” Hazel roars from somewhere, but her voice is muffled in my head. My hands haven’t stopped pulling out decaying hearts and crushing skulls, but I’m losing myself. “I have a plan. Just be ready!”
I think Anxo says something, probably another useless command I don’t understand. Even if my head wasn’t fogged with my Divine's need for blind rage that demands me to soak in enemies blood, I wouldn't have understood anything.
I’m beyond pissed at this point. My rage is not limited to my past and fighting the feeling of helplessness that’s eating at me from being around my tormentors but at my friends too.
We never discussed any of this.
Anxo asked me to follow his lead, and I tried . I tried my best, but my efforts have been utterly useless, not to forget severely damaging to my body.
The unclear instructions are pushing me off balance. I’ve never taken this much damage in a fight before. I’m bleeding from multiple places, there are fucking thorns sticking out from my arms and thighs, and because I’ve healed over them, now they’re tearing me from the inside with every movement.
I’m frustrated and angry, but most of all, I’m disappointed in myself. I thought I was finally settling in with the group, but tonight has been a harsh reality check.
My spine crawls with disgust, feeling eyes on me. The rush of panic consuming me screams at me to turn around and hide. The familiarity of this gaze makes my skin itch, and I clench my trembling fists to hide my fear.
Frantically searching the dark trees surrounding me, I wait for my Divine to settle down so I can convince myself I’m hallucinating. That I don't see her mangled face peaking from behind a tree hidden behind shadows.
Eyeing me.
Calling for me.
Swallowing with my heart in my throat, I flinch back. Before I can do anything else, I’m pushed back by a thundering blast.
Anxo’s invisible shield circling us eats up the roar of the explosion, but the strong vibrations make me lose my footing and twist my ankle, trying to stay up.
I shift my upper half just in time to save my face from the aggressive blow of fire, but it catches on to the side of my dress. Anxiously patting down the fire with trembling hands, I forget about the thorn the size of a lemon sticking out of my shoulder and hiss when a hand suddenly grips me over it.
Anxo drops his grip and steps back like I burned him. His hands hover over me, searching for a safe place to touch, eyes tracing over every bleeding spot and cut.
Abandoning my fear, I peek at where Visha was hiding—or where I imagined her because no matter how hard I squint, there’s no trace of her ever being there.
“You didn’t duck?! Why didn’t you duck? You could’ve seriously injured yourself, Nevaeh.”
Anxo cups my face with one hand while the other moves all over me. He looks genuinely concerned, but I don’t trust myself not to release my frustration on him.
Turning my back on him, I take in the Deviants burned to ash and see if I hallucinated anything else. Anxo doesn’t stop pestering me though.
“Nevaeh, answer me. Hazel gave the signal so why didn’t you—” I commend him for not raising his voice even in frustration, but his worried rambling finally makes me snap.
“WHAT SIGNAL?” I didn’t mean to scream—I really didn’t, but my anger and fear in the past hour took over.
My voice shakes when I try to speak, and it’s a good thing because I don’t want to hate myself even more by raising my voice at Anxo when he actively tries not to do that with me around.
“How? How was I supposed to know the signal? You said nothing about a fucking signal. Never . I didn’t understand a-any of your signals or the stupid numbers or… or gestures… I… fuck this shit .”
I try to hide how tonight has hurt in more ways than one, but it’s hard when his eyes reflect his fear. The fear that I’m too reckless... that I don’t care enough about myself to keep my limbs intact.
I admit that sometimes I can be careless, but he should know better than anyone that I won't risk myself like that when I have August to think about and a brand new lease on life.
“You can think I'm reckless and impulsive all you want... but this,” I gesture to where I had to put out of the flames on my shoulder. “—was not my fault. I didn’t fuck up tonight, you did.”
Turning on my feet, I limp as fast as I can to walk away without sparing Anxo another glance.
I don't care if he’s disappointed or thinks I did a piss-poor job at keeping up with him and his perfect training. I just want to leave before something convinces me I didn’t imagine my worst nightmare eyeing me tonight .
*Click*
My Divine claws at my insides urgently, snapping my head at the faint sound. Skimming through the tall trees, I chase the sound when a tiny movement at the top of a tree catches my eye. A shadow. When a shiny weapon gleams under the moonlight, I quickly realize the click I heard was a gun being pulled off safety.
A human weapon.
I follow the aim to Hazel , who is too engrossed in a heated discussion with Anxo to notice the weapon pointed right at her. Ignoring the sharp pain radiating from my ankle, I run to the siren and cover her before yanking the dagger strapped to her waist.
Putting every remaining ounce of my strength behind my throw, I aim at the shadow above us. It’s silent until a bang echoes right after the dagger leaves my hand. I’m worried I missed my mark when the sound of a heavy thud makes me sigh in relief.
Breaking out of their shock, Anxo and Hazel turn to where the sniper fell with a stab wound decorating the center of his forehead.
And here I thought I missed my mark .
The man’s dark eyes stare at me—or behind me, to be exact, before his body withers and melts into liquid right before my eyes. Fucking liquid .
I’ve been away from the supernatural world for far too long if that's considered normal now.
“Find me a medical kit. Now !” Anxo growls, bringing my attention back from the man— who is a puddle of water now —to Hazel who's running into the building just as Seiji bursts through the doors.
A pressure against my shoulder makes me whimper and I see blood seeping out of a wound I didn’t know I had. Great . One more wound is exactly what I needed tonight.
When did I get shot, though? I know the gun was fired, but I didn’t even feel it. I stumbled back because of the power behind my throw— or maybe it was the bullet.
I’m guessing the sniper was aiming for Hazel’s heart since the bullet is embedded in my left shoulder right below my collarbone from our height difference.
Seiji stands behind me so I can lean on him. Angel takes my hand in his, eyes shining with unspoken apologies. I don’t have it in me to let go, so I squeeze as much as I can with my shoulder throbbing in pain.
Hazel returns quickly and opens the box filled with all kinds of medical stuff. I hastily grab the scalpel and cut a line over the bullet wound. Dropping it back into the box, I ask a flabbergasted Hazel for a pair of tweezers.
I hold my bottom lip between my teeth before digging the tweezers through the cut and clamping on the bullet. Under ten seconds I've pulled the piece of metal out.
It might seem strange, but I’ve been treating my own injuries since I was nine. Our bodies heal fast, and it hurts like hell when wounds can’t close because something is blocking the path.
It’s impossible to make out the bullet in the dark and over all the blood around it, so there was no way Hazel could've pulled it out here. I refuse to continue this torture until we get back to the hotel.
Since I'm already on it, I quickly pull out two thorns from my left thigh and one from my shoulder.
The tremble in my fingers gets stronger with every second, and everything about tonight is slowly catching up to me. Seeing Dickvid, facing the Deviants, ultimately failing as a team member... and maybe seeing Visha again.
“Let me,” with a tone so gentle I would think I’m hallucinating again, Hazel takes over cleaning the blood and bandaging me.
At the sound of someone heaving I turn to my left and find Seiji bend over a bush and throwing up his lunch.
Maybe I shouldn’t have done that in front of him.
I didn’t even realize when Anxo took Seiji’s place. Softly kissing my head, he holds me close while Hazel works as fast as she can so I can finally sit down.
Once she’s done, I move away from Angel even when everything in me screams to hold on to him and quietly limp to a nearby wall. Sitting on the ground, I wipe the blood from my hands on my dress, but it’s no use since the dress is soaked in red, too.
Just like old days.
Shifting to get more comfortable on the cold hard ground, I freeze when arms wrap around my hips and pull me against a firm chest. My body is so familiar with his touch, his scent, and even his breathing patterns that there’s no way to mistake who it is.
Angel shifts me until my back is flush against his chest, and my head is resting over his heart. The steady rhythm helps me relax, and I finally lose the tension in my shoulders. It’s terrifying how a single touch from him can make me feel safe in a place littered with my worst nightmares.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” Anxo places one of his angelic kisses on the side of my head before burying his head in the crook of my neck, making me melt into him. “I agree with you. It was awfully ignorant of me to forget that what I know comes from years of training. You mesh with us so effortlessly that for a moment I forgot you’re still new to everything.”
A small smile grace my lips. E ffortlessly .
“I’m sorry for overwhelming you like that. It was my oversight, and I hate how much you're hurting because of it.” I want to say it’s not all on him, but Angel doesn’t give me a chance. “Maybe we can have a few training sessions together. That way you can learn our methods and we can learn yours. What do you think, sweetheart?”
I’m nodding my head before he is even finished.
“And... I would appreciate it if you could avoid getting shot next time. You almost gave me a heart attack, and I’m too young to die.”
I want to laugh, but I can sense he is genuinely worried. I don’t want to make a joke and brush it off like I usually do.
Gripping my chin, Anxo turns my head to him. “I owe you everything for what you did for Hazel, but don’t you dare sacrifice yourself like that ever again.” His fear shines so brightly in his eyes that I hate being the reason behind it.
“It wasn’t that big of a deal.”
“Shut up and stop underestimating yourself. You were magnificent . The way you move? So elegant baby. I had to keep reminding myself we were in the middle of something and I couldn't just run to you. And I’m stealing some of your moves... especially the one where you broke his ankle and then twisted his neck. Epic sweetheart .”
I’m blushing like a fool, but Anxo keeps complimenting me. I’m just glad I didn’t fuck up like I thought I did.
“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”
Oh no. Oh no. Oh fuck no .
Why the fuck did that come out of my mouth? This is not the place or the time to ask this, Nevaeh!
Yes, I’ve been dying to ask him for days, and now that I’ve blurted it out like an amateur, I have no option but to brace for impact.
“No.”
Stupid Nevaeh! You just had to go and build fantasies about things that are only happening inside your head.
“Oh, um… okay. That's okay. It wasn’t like I wanted that or anything. I couldn’t care less. Pfft.”
I try to look away but Anxo cups my face, the sincerity in his eyes locking me in a daze.
“Nevaeh Blackburn, I don’t want to be your boyfriend because that word is temporary and represents too little of what I want for us. I want forever with you.”
I think I've stopped breathing. Anxo has no regard for my poor heart and continues to kill me with his sweet words.
“I want to be your home, your every kiss, your forever. I want to be there when you finally free yourself from your past. Beside you when that same past keeps you up at night. I want to be there for all of it. I want my mornings to start beside you and my nights to end inside you. I have waited my whole life for you, and I’m not settling for anything less than permanent.”
For the first time, I don’t want to hide behind my mask. I don’t want to hide how much his words mean to me. I want to allow myself the chance to have this person break into my heart and make himself home.
Tears cascade down my face. Anxo doesn’t ask me to stop, only wipes them softly and kisses my forehead.
“I don’t want a little something with you, Nevaeh. I want everything with you. You are my everything. In a world where even being soulmates is not enough, I’ll have to keep adding more titles to keep you forever. And I’ll start by making you my wife .”
I’m so lost in this bubbly feeling and his sparkling eyes staring into my soul with that heart-warming smile that it takes me a second to process his words.
“What—no. I don’t think that’s where you start.”
I stare at him dumbfounded, but he cups my face so I can’t focus on anything but him.
“That’s exactly where we start in my world.”
He’s not fooling anybody. I’ve watched movies. Tons of them . I know that’s not where you start.
“I’m not sure I like the ways of your world then.” I can’t even hide my amusement at his antics.
I’m letting him get away with it though. Only because I know he won’t back down, not because I wouldn’t mind him calling me his for the rest of our lives.
“You’ll love it soon enough, wifey.”
“Not your wife, Angel.” I can’t help but giggle like a schoolgirl at his persistence. My stomach flutters every time he sounds so sure about our future together.
“Yes, you are. You just don’t know it yet.”
This goof! I laugh even harder. The healing wound on my shoulder stretches and stings, but I can’t stop. Anxo turns me around so I’m facing him, trapping me in his arms again.
“How—” Angel cuts me off with his lips, kissing me fiercely.
“Hush, women. Everything is already arranged.” He shushes my very logical protest before breaking his act and laughing with me.
Sitting here wrapped in my mate's arms, I wonder how I got this lucky.