Chapter 27
WAITING
JAHLANI
When Jahlani comes to, the dashboard reads that it’s five past nine. She blinks, sitting up in the car, looking out the window.
“This isn’t my house,” she says in a croaky voice while squinting through the windshield. “This is …” She trails off, turning to face an impassive-looking Roman. “What are we doing here?”
“We’re going to talk,” he says, opening his door and moving to her side. She leans away when he opens it.
“You kidnapped me,” she says breathlessly. “Why?”
He leans down, meeting her eyes. “Because we’re going to talk.”
Cupping his hand around her elbow, he tugs her forward until she’s out of the car.
The palm trees loom like shadows and the crickets are loud in his driveway.
It’s a familiar scene and she’s annoyed by how much comfort that brings her.
He shuts the door with his free hand, not letting her go as he gently steers them into the house.
She watches through parted lips as he bends down to undo her laces, slipping off her shoes before placing them neatly next to his own.
Her stomach burns and he leaves her there in the dimmed hallway to walk toward the kitchen.
She stands, blinking, warring with herself before she pads in softly after him.
She stops at the edge of the island, his heated gaze stalling her.
“What are we here to talk about, Roman?”
With one hand braced on the edge of the kitchen sink, the other holding a clear glass of something, he looks like a man on the brink.
His hair sticks up in every direction; his eyes a storm.
Pushing off, he rounds the island, sinking into the stool farthest from her.
Setting the glass down, his eyes don’t leave hers.
Neither says anything; a low chime signals the dryer is done.
Jahlani breaks first. “I think your laundry’s done,” she whispers.
“Come here,” he says softly, with a tilt of his head.
She hesitates, only briefly, before she moves forward, until she’s an arm’s length from him.
He exhales, leaning forward to grip the bottom of her shirt, pulling her the rest of the way.
She braces her hands on his shoulders, taking a soft inhale when his palms move to her thighs.
Her eyes close as he drags them slowly up and down the length of her jeans. Her eyes snap open.
“Roman?”
“What happened back there?”
“What?” She asks, looking down at him.
“Why did you try to leave without saying goodbye?”
“I told you. You were busy with Lucy and—”
“Bullshit,” he whispers, pausing his movements.
She clenches her fist, eyebrows furrowing. “No,” she murmurs, “Not bullshit.”
He removes his hands from her, leaning back in the chair his expression softening.
“Tell me what happened.”
Dropping her hands from his shoulders, she takes his glass from the table and finishes it.
“Do you want more kids?” she asks, finally.
He doesn’t miss a beat. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
“I grew up an only child, you know. It was lonely,” she says, rotating the cup in her hand.
She steps closer into him, and he lays his hand on her waist, rubbing slowly as she continues, not really knowing where she’s going with this, but knowing that she needs to say it.
“Audrey seems nice—pretty, smart, good with kids. She’d make a good mom.” She watches his face for something, anything.
He shrugs. “Sure. I guess. Never thought about it.”
“What happened between you two?”
His sigh is sharp as he pushes her back slightly, standing from the chair.
“You’re angry at me,” Jahlani says, watching him pace, her stomach doing a violent flip.
“No.”
“Is it because I’m asking about her? About Audrey?”
His laugh is humorless. “No.”
She stands, walking up to him. “Then what? Do you want me to go?”
He stops pacing then, running both hands through his hair before looking at her.
“No, Jahlani. That is the last thing that I want from you.”
She presses the heel of her palms to her eyes. “What then, Roman? What do you want from me? Why did you bring me here?”
“What do you want from me, Jahlani?”
“I—” Her hands fall to her sides, and she takes in his dark expression. “I don’t know.”
Need. Want. Mine.
He walks forward, grabbing her arms.
“You’re sweet to my mom, my sister, my kid, but then you push me away. I’m confused. Help me out here.”
She looks up at him with wide eyes. “I’m sorry,” she says weakly.
He sighs, intertwining their fingers, drawing her in to follow behind him. They move in silence down the hallway to his bedroom. He pauses at the door, turning to face her.
“This conversation isn’t over. We’re going in here, we’re changing, we’re brushing our teeth, and then we’re going to sleep and talk in the morning—because I can’t spend another night apart from you.
We’ve both had a lot to drink, and I don’t think you’re ready to hear what I have to say tonight. Okay?”
She blinks. “Okay.”
He exhales, turning back around to push the door open.
For the next several minutes, they do exactly as he said.
He drops clothes into a neat pile on the bed for her before moving out to give her privacy.
When she’s changed, she meets him in the bathroom and waits patiently as he unwraps the toothbrush for her.
Their eyes meet at least twelve times (not that she’s counting) in the mirror as they complete the most mundane human tasks that have somehow become some of the most intimate in the past fifteen minutes together.
When they slip under the covers, he asks her if she wants the lights on or off, and as they disappear into the darkness, she isn’t sure who reaches for who first, but her legs become twisted with his and her arms get trapped against his chest.
His heart thrashes loudly and the sound of their breathing becomes its own symphony.
Just as she’s about to drift off, his voice rumbles against her ear.
“There’s nothing going on between me and her,” he says. “Not since you, and even before then.”
“Okay.”
“There’s just you, Jahlani. I only see you.”
She shifts against him, body warming, her leg tightening against his, the familiar urge seeping through.
“Roman.” She breathes heavily into his chest. “What are we doing?”
“Going to sleep.”
“Right.”
He tightens his arms around her when she shifts again to get more comfortable. “We both drank tonight,” he murmurs.
“I’m not drunk,” she grumbles into his chest, her body starting to relax.
“I know. I’m just waiting for you to catch up.”